Faster We Burn
(Fall and Rise, Book Two)
By
Chelsea M. Cameron
Chapter One
Katie
I told myself that I wasn’t attracted to Stryker Grant the first time I saw him. Between the pierced lip and eyebrow, his torn (not on purpose) jeans, and his bleached hair, he was the opposite of every guy I’d ever wanted. Plus, he was dressed as a vampire, fake fangs and all.
My boyfriend, Zack, and I were on again, and I was enjoying being in the center of so much activity, so much life. Then Zack did what he always did and pushed it too far. In the middle of a crowded Halloween party, no less. I tried to chalk it up to him being drunk, but that was quickly becoming an overused excuse.
Stryker was there quicker than you could say “damsel in distress.” I totally had Zack handled, but Stryker wouldn’t let it go.
Plus, there was the whole drama of Zan, Zack’s brother, getting Zack home and everyone fussing over me like I was five. Then, Stryker called me “sweetheart” in a way that made me clench my teeth.
Even without the fake fangs, I didn’t see it.
I didn’t figure it out until he showed up at my door the next day, asking for the stupid vampire cape he’d given me the night before when I was cold.
“Here,” I said, shoving it at him. He took it, but didn’t leave. Audrey had finally gotten me out of my pink dress and into my sweats, and I wasn’t in the mood to entertain; especially after the look on Lottie’s face when I told her I’d slept with her boyfriend. But, they couldn’t watch me 24 hours a day.
“Listen,” he said, and I knew where this was going. I was going to put a stop to it before anything happened. He chewed the side of his lip that was pierced with a silver ring. His clothes were filthy, and his boots were so covered in dirt I didn’t know what color they were originally. Not that I was one to talk. I didn’t even have contacts in, displaying instead the dorky glasses I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing in public.
“Look, you saved me; you made sure I didn’t freeze to death. Congratulations. You can go now.” I moved to shut the door in his face, but he put his arm out to stop me.
“That wasn’t what I was going to say.” He put his foot in the doorway, and leaned into the room. “What I was going to say is that you’re an idiot.” He folded the cape over his arm.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard what I said. You’re. An. Idiot.” He enunciated the last three words and leaned closer to me until our faces were only separated by a few inches. For the first time, I met his eyes and saw they were green. How had I not noticed that before?
“And what makes you qualified to say that? You don’t even know me.” Seriously, who did he think he was?
“I may not know you, specifically, but I’ve known girls just like you before. You’re the girl who has what everyone thinks is this perfect pink life. The girl who spends all her time trying to be something she’s not. The girl who’s barely hanging on. You’re an idiot because you think you can keep it up, and you’re an idiot to think that you have to.” I watched the lip ring move as he talked so I wouldn’t look into his eyes again.
“Whatever.” I tried to shove the door closed again, but he was still in my way. “Get out of my room.” I was so done with guys and their testosterone trips.
He held up his hands and backed away, as if I were freaking out for no reason.
“I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, sweetheart.” The way he said “sweetheart” pissed me off, just like it had the first time.
He pivoted on his heel.
“See you around,” he said with a wave over one shoulder.
“Never would be too soon,” I yelled at his back. I could still hear the sound of his laughter, even after I’d slammed the door and pressed my forehead against it so I could just breathe for a second.
The last thing I needed in my life was another guy. Especially one that told me I was an idiot.
But, of course, that was exactly why I opened my door and dashed down the stairs until I found him in the lobby, leaning against the wall beside the door to the stairs. As if he had been waiting for me.
He was messing with his lip ring again, but other than that, he was all swagger. He raised his pierced eyebrow.
“Is this never?” he said.
I shook my head.
“You’re wrong. About me. I’m not pretending to be anything,” I said.
“Sure,” he said, a smile playing on his lips.
I took a step toward him and he moved away from the wall and toward me. “I don’t owe you anything.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Good. Now we’ve got that straight –” I grabbed his shirt and yanked him toward my mouth. Luckily, I’d had a lot of practice, so my aim was good, and his lips crashed against mine perfectly. He froze for a moment in surprise, but that didn’t last long. The cape fell to the floor as his arms captured me, pulling me close. It wasn’t a sweet kiss; it was a demanding, get-your-clothes-off kind of kiss. It was a kiss that made me want to wrap my legs around him and take him back to my room.
I heard people walking by and making comments, but I was too preoccupied with the feel of his velvety mouth on mine and how the metal of his lip ring warmed with the contact from my lips.
He slowed the kiss and finally we broke apart. Both of us were breathing heavily. Green eyes seared into mine, locking me in place.
“What was that for?” He took a step back, but didn’t let go of me.
I shrugged one shoulder as I tried to get my breath back. “I’ve never kissed a guy with a lip ring. I was curious.”
A pucker formed between his eyebrows as he studied me, searching for the real reason. He wasn’t going to find it because I didn’t even know the reason.
“And?” he finally said.
“And now I know.” I tried to back away, but he had both arms wrapped around me, trapping me.
“You ever fucked a guy with a lip ring?” he said.
I shook my head side to side once. “Nope.”
He raised his pierced eyebrow again. “Want to try?”
I fisted my hands in his shirt and gave him another fierce kiss.
“Absolutely. Just don’t call me an idiot ever again.”
Stryker
I wasn’t planning on getting laid when I went to see her, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to say no when she kissed me like that. Plus, I had a thing for girls with glasses, and she still had that whole damaged thing going for her. I finally let her go, and she grabbed my hand and dragged me up the stairs to her room.
“We don’t have much time, they’re watching me like I’m going to lose it,” she said, making sure the door was closed before she ripped the elastic band out of her hair and pulled her sweatshirt off. Underneath she was just wearing a tank top, no bra. “I’m not going to lose it. I’m not going to lose it.” She pulled her pants off in one quick motion and I realized I was just standing there, still fully-clothed. I also realized she had a shit ton of pink things. In fact, there were so many pillows on the bed, I wasn’t sure if there would be room for me.
She walked until she was right in front of me and grabbed the bottom of my shirt. “I’m not going to lose it, got it?”
“Got it,” I said. She pulled my shirt up and I helped her get it over my head. After only a moment to assess my tattoos, her hands were on my belt.
“Good.” She kissed me again, and we fell onto her bed.
“Too many pillows,” I said against her mouth as I reached behind and chucked some of them on the floor.
“Mmm,” she said, pulling off her tank top. I tossed more pillows until I could finally flip her over so she was on her back under me. She broke the ki
ss. “Condom?”
“Don’t have one.” I had one in the truck, but I didn’t think I needed to put it in my pocket like I would have if I’d gone out to a bar.
“Top drawer,” she said pointing over her head at her desk. I reached and pulled one out, ignoring the fact that the condoms were probably left over from Zack.
We both got the rest of the way naked and the sex was quick and hot and hard. I knew her neighbors were probably getting an earful, but the sounds she made were so sweet as her fingernails dug into my back and she begged me for more. Her legs wrapped around me and she rose up to meet me, demanding more, faster, harder. There was also a hint of desperation in it. Of hurt. Of anger.
Of pain.
I finally felt her come around me and I held out for as long as I could after her, but it wasn’t very long.
“Fuck,” I groaned, holding myself up so I didn’t collapse on her. Our eyes locked and she gave me a quick kiss. She moved so I could lie on my back beside her on the small bed. I turned so I could look at her.
She had a beautiful body. Sweet curves and soft angles. A few freckles dotted their way along her stomach. I hadn’t gotten to taste them. Yet. I reached out to trace them but she grabbed my wrist.
“Don’t. Just because we had sex doesn’t mean I want you to touch me.” She let me have my wrist back and I moved farther from her as she crossed her arms over her chest.
“Do you want me to go?” I said.
“Yes.” I sighed and sat up so I could climb over her, but she put her hand on my shoulder. “No.”
“Which is it? Yes or no?”
She took a shaky breath and stared at the ceiling again. As if she didn’t want to look at me anymore now that it was over. A tear slid down her cheek, followed by another. She tried to wipe them away so I wouldn’t see, but I did. It wasn’t the first time a girl had cried after sex with me, but this time hit me like a truck.
“Hey,” I said reaching down to wipe one for her, but she moved her face. Fine. I tried to go again, but I couldn’t leave a crying girl. I pulled my boxers and pants back up, found a blanket on the end of the bed and covered her with it.
“I’m sorry I called you an idiot. Even though you were being one,” I said. I knew that wasn’t the reason she was crying, but I still felt like a dick for adding insult to injury.
“I’m not crying because you called me an idiot,” she said between sobs. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
I grabbed a tissue from a box that was covered in fuzzy pink material. “Yeah, you do.”
“Shut up,” she said, blowing her nose. “You’ve fucked me, now you can go. I just wanted to get laid, I didn’t want to have a heart-to-heart with a guy I don’t even know or like.”
“Fine. If that’s what you want.” I pulled my pants up, climbed over her and found my shirt. I’d never even taken my shoes off.
She sobbed again, but she’d asked me to leave and that was what I was going to do. You fuck a girl and she asks you to leave, you get your ass out the door.
I looked back once at Katie curled up under the blanket, holding onto herself as if she was going to break apart. Her wide, wet eyes found mine and begged.
“Just. Go.”
I nodded and shut the door behind me as she tried to cry quietly. I fished in my pockets and found a receipt from the gas station. There was a little board on Katie’s door with a marker to leave messages for Lottie and vice versa. I scrawled my cell phone number and the words call me if you need anything on the receipt and shoved it under her door.
I’d probably never hear from her, but I did it anyway. Call it one lost cause reaching out to another.
Chapter Two
Katie
After Stryker left, I got myself up and dressed and to the shower. Trish and Audrey were coming over to babysit me and I would rather have burned the dorm down than tell them that I’d had sex with Stryker, or that I’d had a meltdown and cried afterwards.
I cleaned up the evidence of our escapade, changed the sheets and sprayed the room with vanilla cinnamon room spray to get rid of his scent. He smelled like…something clean but spicy with hints of cigarettes and gasoline.
My skin tingled as if it were remembering his touch. I shouldn’t have done that, but sometimes I made bad life decisions. Sleeping with Stryker was one of those on a looonnnngggg list. I found the receipt with his number on it that he’d shoved under the door. If I was going to call someone to talk about my feelings, it wasn’t going to be him. Still, I put the piece of paper in my desk drawer instead of throwing it away.
I berated myself the entire time I showered and cleaned, so by the time Audrey and Trish showed up with movies and ice cream I had already lectured myself a hundred times.
“You guys don’t have to stay with me, you know,” I said as Trish handed me a pint of Cherry Garcia and Audrey slipped off her shoes before flopping on my bed.
“We’re not babysitting you. We’re concerned friends who want to hang out with you,” Audrey said, arranging some of the pillows. Stryker had thrown all of them on the floor when…
“You okay?” Trish said as she popped in Bridesmaids. I knew my face was red, so I stared into the ice cream container to try to hide it as I sat next to Audrey.
“Yeah, fine.” Trish looked at me suspiciously, but Audrey started tossing pillows at her so she could make a little couch of them on the floor.
I didn’t pay attention to the movies and just laughed when Trish and Audrey did. My mind was occupied with remembering what I’d done with Stryker and trying to forget it at the same time.
It didn’t matter how good it was, or how right it had felt at the time. It had been a bad idea that I’d acted on and it wasn’t going to happen again. Especially after my little breakdown.
The last time I had sex with Zack, he’d made me cry, too. Maybe it was a conditioned reaction for me now. Sex and crying.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Audrey asked as she handed me her empty container at the end of the second movie. I didn’t know how she ate so much ice cream and still kept that thin. Good genetics, probably. I got up to toss the ice cream containers and took a deep breath so I wouldn’t say something I would later regret.
“I love you guys. Both of you. But if you don’t stop asking me if I’m okay, I’m going to freak out, and I really can’t handle that right now. Zack and I broke up, I’m moving on. Got it?”
They both nodded like bobble head dolls.
“I’m not trying to be a bitch, because it’s so sweet that you care and that you’re willing to give up your lives to make sure I don’t go off the deep end, but enough is enough. I need some air.”
Audrey spoke first, her eyes not meeting mine.
“We’re sorry. We just didn’t know what else to do.” Yup, I felt like a bitch anyway.
“It was Lottie’s idea. Blame her,” Trish added. I wished she hadn’t mentioned Lottie. She was off on a date with Zan, even though she knew he and I had slept together. She must really love him.
“I hope she doesn’t hate me,” I said, sitting next to Audrey again.
“It’s not like you could have known,” Audrey said
“Not to be creepy or anything, but how did it happen?” Trish said. “I just don’t see the two of you hitting it off.”
“It was one of those really, really stupid decisions you regret the second after you make it, but it’s too late. Let’s just say I’d had a really bad week, it was summer, I was drunk and he was willing. I don’t remember much of it, but enough to know that it happened. And then Zack noticed me and that was it.”
When it came to charm, Zack had it in spades. He’d said all the right things that made me feel all warm and fluttery inside, and before I knew it, we were going at in the bed of his truck, and then we were just together. And now we weren’t.
I shrugged because it seemed so minor now. None of it mattered anymore.
We got through another movie and made nachos before Lottie came back fro
m her date with Zan. She should have been spending the night in his room, but she probably wanted to make sure I was okay, which made me feel even more like a bitch.
“Hey, how was your date?” Audrey said, yawning.
“Good. Really good. How are you?” The last part was directed toward the group, but meant for me.
“I’m fine.” She nodded and I could sense one of her famous word volcanoes was about to erupt. She always took a deep breath before she started one so she could talk without having to interrupt the flow by breathing. It was annoying at first, but I’d gotten used to it.
“Okay good. Because I know it’s weird that you had sex with him and now I’m dating him, but I don’t want things to be weird because it’s not your fault. I mean, you didn’t know me and you didn’t know that he and I were going to end up together. So it’s okay. Just so you know.” She looked scared after she finished, as if she was worried about how I would respond. I sighed and tossed the empty bag of tortilla chips in the trash.
“It’s fine, Lot. If anyone should be apologizing, it should be me. I shouldn’t have told you like that. I should have told you a long time ago, but I was afraid you’d hate me.”
Trish and Audrey looked like they felt uncomfortable, but Lottie and I needed to do this now to clear the air. She took everything so personally and I wanted her to know that I was fine with her and Zan, as long as she was happy. My mistakes with the Parker brothers weren’t hers.
“I don’t hate you. I just didn’t want things to be weird,” she said.
“Come on ladies, hug it out,” Trish said, getting up and pulling Lottie across the room. “Come on, roommate hug.”
Lottie and I hugged, which ended up with us giggling, rocking back and forth, trying to tip the other one over.
“See? Works every time,” Trish said, patting both of us on the back as if we’d just won a football game.
“Okay, okay,” I said, rolling my eyes. “It’s late and I’m tired.”
“We’ll get going,” Audrey said, gathering her movies and her coat. “See you tomorrow? Library date?”
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