Drinking his fill at her breast, Travis raised his head to smile down at her. “No more incorrigible than I.” His smile faded. “I am not willing to give you up easily, Alicia. Will you give me time?”
“What time would you like?” she murmured, trailing her fingers over his chest.
“A lifetime, preferably,” Travis grunted as her fingers discovered the peak of his nipple. He smoothed her hair down again. “But at least give me time to persuade you to be my wife.”
Alicia glanced up sharply. “I thought you and my father had settled that matter between you.”
“You gave me no chance to explain,” he admonished. “You must learn to trust, Alicia. I would not take that choice from you. I did not want to give you up without first having the chance to persuade you, but if you decide against me, I will not keep you bound.”
Alicia relaxed and listened. “How will you do that?”
Travis hugged her close. He didn’t want to lose her, not after tonight had shown him how it could be between them. But he knew his own shortcomings better than any. If her father had not been here, if she had found herself all alone in an alien world, she might eventually have turned to him. But why should she settle for less now?
“We will have to let your father think you have agreed to this marriage so I can continue to see you. But if you find you cannot go through with it, that you cannot be my wife, then I will just quietly disappear from your life.”
“How can you do that?” she asked, caressing his face. “You have invested your time and money here. You said you wanted to buy land here and settle down. How could you just disappear from my life?”
Travis trailed a line of kisses along her cheek. “One day I would say I had a shipment to deliver, some land I would like to look at, and the next day I would be gone. It happens all the time out here. I’m accustomed to traveling from town to town, I have no roots as you do. I can settle anywhere. When people begin to ask questions, you could look worried and say you feared something had happened to me. Before long, everyone would believe I was dead. I won’t come back to prove you false.”
The flatness of his voice spoke the finality of such a decision. She rubbed her fingers over the stubble forming on his jaw. “My father has no right to ask that of you,” she replied.
“I take what I can get,” Travis said, then proceeded to show her just what he meant.
This time he had no need to seduce her. Alicia responded eagerly to his caresses, exploring his body until Travis could could wait no longer. He took her quickly, possessing her with a firmness that she could not fight.
Alicia knew she had forfeited control of the situation, but as Travis’s body conquered hers and carried her away, she did not care. Come daylight, she might have to return to the struggle for her freedom, but tonight she surrendered it willingly to his expertise. Imaginary it might be, but in his arms she felt wanted and loved and wholly a woman again.
This time when her body rocked with the waves of pleasure they produced, she felt Travis withdraw abruptly. She cried out in surprise and held him as he shuddered within her arms, gaining his own release only after leaving her.
They lay together quietly, his large body covering hers as their breathing slowed and their hearts beat in tandem.
“Why did you stop?” she whispered as he began to stir in her arms once more.
Lifting himself on one elbow, Travis stroked her cheek. “I said I would protect you.” He gave a wry grin. “I did not think I would be given chance to take you once. Twice I was not prepared for. I fear you will have to make some choices quickly, Blue Eyes. I have no wish to leave you in the family way if you choose against me.”
Alicia gasped in understanding. She lay against his warmth, feeling the stickiness of his seed along her thighs. She had accepted his promises without thought, but she could not continue much longer in this mindless state. As she had reason to know, he could start a child easily. How was it she had placed herself in such a position again?
Perhaps because the child she had lost had left an emptiness within her that needed filling. To her shock, Alicia realized she wanted children. Now that she had no fear of the act that created them, she could be honest with herself. She wanted to make love to a man and feel his child grow within her. The question remained, could Travis be the man to father her child?
Despite the sleepy languor produced by their lovemaking, a tension remained between them, knowing their time together was short. Travis buried his face in her hair. Alicia lifted her head from his shoulder to stare at him in curiosity. “I do not even know your real name.”
Travis’s lips twisted. “Max.”
“Max?”
“Maximillian,” he amended with a shrug.
A grin flirted about Alicia’s mouth. “Maximillian Travis? And the Lonetree?”
“A name given me by my mother’s family. It is written on no paper anywhere.”
“I like it better than Max,” Alicia announced, as if deciding the matter.
“So do I.” Comfortably Travis adjusted her against his shoulder and placed a kiss on her brow.
When he felt her breathing evenly, he began to extricate himself. Alicia stirred and reached for him, but he was already up and donning his clothes.
“Travis?” she murmured.
He sat on the bed, admiring the golden glow of the lamplight along ivory breasts. “I must go,” he warned her.
“Not yet,” she protested.
Travis smiled at this petulant reply. “As it is, I may meet Letitia on the stairs or find myself locked in. I think we may have a hard time explaining that to your father.”
“Not to Letitia.”
“No, perhaps not to Letitia. She is a very understanding lady, but I would not trespass too far on her good nature. Will I see you tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow,” she answered, and she slid her hand along his thigh.
Travis left her room that night in the same state that he had entered it: wanting her desperately and hopelessly uncertain of the future.
The next day, to Alicia’s dismay, she discovered the narrowness of the velvet walls of her father’s protection. A carriage carried her back and forth to school, so there was no opportunity to linger on long walks after classes. Instead of Bessie’s cozy kitchen, she entertained Travis in the parlor after dinner under Letitia’s watchful eye, and even that time was limited to a respectable half hour.
When Letitia made it clear that the evening had ended but understandingly left the room to give them a moment alone, Alicia lifted a rueful eyebrow to her suitor.
“I have done it now, haven’t I?”
Travis touched the upsweep of hair. “It was necessary. If we are to be a respectable betrothed couple, you must live under your father’s supervision.”
“I am nearly twenty-one. He cannot think to treat me as a child.”
“No, he can only love and try to protect you from rogues like me.” Touching her lips with his fingers, Travis produced a wry grin. “But being the bounder I am, I will find some way to see you alone. Last night was not enough.”
Excitement shivered through Alicia at this admission, and their gazes locked. The tension lingered, so taut it could be plucked like a guitar string.
Travis kissed her quickly, scooped up his hat, and retreated to the outer hall where he bowed to Letitia with impeccable timing.
By Friday night Alicia could have cried with frustration. She had not given thought to anything at all but the opportunity to be alone with Travis again.
Letitia had invited Travis to dinner, and the three of them were sitting down to eat when Chester Stanford arrived. Sending Travis an anxious glance, Alicia sent for another place setting while her stepmother ran to give her husband an ecstatic hug. His exuberance at being home was apparent to all until he entered the dining room and found Travis at his table.
He stiffened, his gaze traveling from Alicia’s frozen features to Travis’s noncommittal expression. With formality he escort
ed his wife to her place and took his seat at the head of the table. Once the servants returned to the kitchen, Chester launched his attack.
“I will assume matters are settled since I would not elsewise be entertaining the man who destroyed my daughter’s reputation.” With precision Chester slit the fish on his platter and began to remove the bones.
Anger stilled Alicia’s tongue, and she sent Travis an anguished look. Before he could reply, Letitia broke the silence.
“Don’t be such a Yankee Puritan, Chester,” she admonished. “Everybody understands that Alicia cannot even announce her betrothal until her year of mourning is over. To have her intended escort her all the way out here to obtain your permission was extravagantly romantic, if a trifle foolish. Young love can be terribly impetuous.” Letitia sent her husband a roguish look.
Travis bit back a grin as he recognized the source of the story that had been making the rounds this past week. “You are too kind, madame. I had wondered why I was being treated with such understanding by the ladies lately.”
As Chester struggled with his bewilderment, Alicia smiled at her stepmother’s quick-wittedness. “I suppose you have also explained how I could have met Travis in Philadelphia?” she inquired.
Letitia beamed. “But, of course, my dear. Your father has said he is acquainted with Mr. Travis’s father, and how could that be unless he is of an old family back East? I think New York was mentioned, was it not, love?” Bright-eyed, she turned to her husband, who appeared to be strangling on a fishbone.
Alicia caught undercurrents here of more than Letitia’s active imagination, and she lifted an inquiring eyebrow. “New York?”
Since her father did not answer, Travis shrugged and carried the jest to its limit. “East, undoubtedly, although I daresay my royal ancestors lived there well before the good burghers of New York. Definitely an old family.”
Alicia smothered a laugh, knowing full well he referred to his mother’s ancestors and not his father’s. “You know Travis’s family, then?”
Letitia had might have exaggerated the truth, but she would not have lied. It had to be assumed she knew something of the conversation between Travis and Chester that had resulted in this surprising agreement on the subject of marriage.
Chester sent Travis a baleful look. “If he is who he says he is, yes, I know his father. It is only for that reason that I have not had him tarred and feathered and run out of town on a rail.” He turned a warning glance to his smug wife before addressing Alicia. “You have honored your mother sufficiently. It is time that this specious betrothal is announced publicly. People will talk elsewise.”
Travis hastened to smooth the direction of the conversation before words were said that could not be undone. “Mr. Stanford, I understand your concern, but I would prefer it if you give me time to make my own case with Alicia. She is accustomed to making her own decisions. To expect her to change after all these years is unreasonable.”
Caught by surprise at this rejection of her father’s authority, Alicia stared at Travis with approval and disbelief. She had thought they worked together against her. From the look on her father’s face, it seemed Travis was as caught in this trap as she.
“I am glad you understand, Mr. Travis.” Alicia sipped her wine, grateful for this reprieve. “Then you should also understand that I enjoy teaching and am in no hurry to give it up.”
This brought protests even to Letitia’s lips, but Travis overcame their objections. “I will not ask you to give it up. If your father will just give us some time alone to discuss these things, I am sure we can come to an agreement.”
Still holding her wine glass, Alicia met his dark gaze and felt the shock of it tremble her spine and settle in her stomach. Travis did not mean to allow any argument to dissuade him from this marriage. She could see it in the way he looked at her, hear it in his voice. He meant to pound away at all the careful walls she had built until they became dust at her feet. It would just be a matter of time before she was his wife and sharing his bed every night—wherever that bed might be. That thought brought a flush to her cheeks.
Sensing victory at hand, Chester agreed that the couple should have time alone to talk things over, then changed the subject to the effects of the shipping embargo on Britain and France. The two men fell into an animated discussion as to whether Congress ought to continue the embargo or declare war on Britain in retaliation for their insolent and proprietary treatment of American ships.
Immediately after dinner, Chester dismissed them, and Alicia led her would-be fiancé to her father’s study.
Travis watched as Alicia escaped to the far end of the room to stir the fire. She wore her thick chestnut curls stacked loosely, and wisps escaped about her nape as she bent over the hearth. The high-waisted, tawny velvet gown she wore emphasized her slender waist and hips and revealed more of the soft curve of her breasts than her usual attire. Travis could almost believe she had dressed purposely for him, except that she would not face him now.
“Alicia, don’t hide from me.” He strode into the center of the room, willing her to meet him halfway.
She stepped forward a few paces, leaving some distance between them. “I am not hiding from anyone. I simply do not know what to say. My father has put you in an awkward position.”
“No, I put myself there. I knew what I wanted and did not fear the consequences. You are the one who took the risks. I would make the consequences as agreeable as possible for you, if I could.”
The light of the lamp on the desk threw shadows across the hollows of Alicia’s cheek and gleamed in the folds of her dress. Travis longed to take her in his arms and force her to understand the foolishness of her reluctance, but the time had come for Alicia to make her own decisions.
“There is no other way, then?” Alicia inquired almost wistfully.
Travis felt some small part of his heart twist as he saw the sadness behind the lovely blue of her eyes. Against his will he caressed her hair and ran his fingers over the delicate rose of her cheek.
“Do you wish me to go down on bended knee and lavish you with words of love and praise? I can probably remember some very pretty poems if I turn my mind to it.” His mouth quirked at one corner as he read the flicker of amusement in her eyes.
“I think my father would come to investigate should he hear me laughing hysterically. Please, do not pretend what isn’t there. A friendship based on mutual respect is more than many couples have.”
No, she wasn’t quite ready to admit to feelings that frightened her still. He had hoped . . . But that was his impatience showing. Travis closed the gap between them, enfolding her in his embrace.
“Perhaps you will admit to just a little bit more than mutual respect?” Without waiting for an answer, he bent to taste her lips, to find her reply without need of words. His craving for the slender woman in his arms might never be satiated, but he was willing to spend a lifetime in trying.
“I am not certain marriage can reliably be based on this,” Alicia protested, hiding her face against his shoulder. “Any woman could fill that need for you.”
Travis set her back so he could see behind those distressingly uncertain eyes. Sometimes he could just shake her, she was so stubbornly blind. “If any woman would do, I would not be considering marriage now. Are you telling me you could lie with any man? Bear any man’s children?”
The intensity of his tone made Alicia stare at him. “It is different for a man—” she started to object, but Travis shook her to a halt.
“No! That is too easy, Alicia. I have never pretended to be a monk. I have known more women than I will admit to myself, and actually enjoyed some of them. If it were not for the fear of pregnancy, you could do the same, and then you would understand the difference. A moment’s pleasure is a fleeting thing. That’s not what I want from you. I draw pleasure just from looking at you, touching you, knowing you are mine and that I share you with no one else. The way you look at me excites me. The sound of your voice, the
way you smile, no other woman can duplicate. I wanted a lady to raise my children and grace my home, but it is the woman beneath that I want in my bed. In you I have everything.”
Travis noted the rising color in her cheeks with satisfaction. Alicia bit her lip, meeting his gaze uncertainly.
“I am not a courageous person, Travis. Sometimes you frighten me. It is hard for me to believe in happily ever after. I don’t want to hurt you, but if we agree to this for my father’s sake, and I find I can’t—if I can’t go through with it, it will hurt you, and I will lose a friendship I have learned to cherish.”
“Alicia, I have gambled for worse reasons. I am willing to take my chances on this. The prize is worth losing everything.”
“I want to teach, Travis. I like teaching, but I would lose my job if we married. There are so many uncertainties . . .”
Travis pressed a finger to her lips. “There are many things we need to discuss, yes. A long betrothal is fine if that is what you wish, but do not worry yourself over this one subject. If you want to teach, you shall. Perhaps not at a lady’s academy, but there are plenty of others out here who would benefit from your education. I would like to own a farm. I have one in mind that would require a number of hands. They would live on the farm, have wives and children who would work and live there, too. Most of them, like Becky, will scarcely be able to write their names. They need teaching as much as your pampered little ladies.”
Alicia’s eyes widened at the prospects he offered. “I have not thought of teaching adults, but I could try. And the children? I could teach them during the days while their mothers worked.” She frowned. “You are not talking of slaves, are you?”
Travis chuckled at the wide sweep of her concerns. “I said a farm, not a plantation. If I breed horses, I will need good, willing men. I do not want the responsibility of owning other human beings. But we cannot cover all subjects tonight. As it is, your father will soon intrude to see what takes us so long.”
He slid his hand into his coat pocket and brought out a small box wrapped in plain paper and string. “I found this down at McKnight and Brady’s. They claimed the monks from Cahokia traded it for blankets and food. The monks are known for their silver work, so perhaps it’s true. It’s not as elegant as what you are used to, perhaps, but I thought of you as soon as I saw it.”
Lord Rogue Page 21
