“That’s incredible. It sounds like you are all lucky to be alive.”
“Yeah.” I felt a certain amount of pride for surviving the things I had.
“Are you in danger from those insurgents now? Can they track you here?”
I shook my head. “As soon as we were extracted, our superiors bombed the place.”
“Why didn’t they do that in the first place? Why endanger you and Luke and the others?”
I hesitated, then admitted, “Because the insurgents were hiding amongst thousands of innocent people. We try not to kill innocents if at all possible. But The General was pissed that his best team had been injured, so he gave the order to bomb the place. And yes, the bomb killed everyone.”
Silence. She nodded slowly, her eyes wide. “That’s unfortunate, but I understand. It was war.” She paused. “Then what happened?”
“Then they held a discharge ceremony for us, and afterwards, they tried to execute us.”
She gasped. “What? Why?”
“Because all the discharges are executed when they are no longer fit for duty. But we fought back that day. Nine of us escaped. We were the only ones who ever got away.”
“That’s why there’s a bounty on your head,” she murmured in understanding. “That’s why those men are trying to kill you.”
“Yes.”
“Wow,” she murmured. “That is truly amazing. I’m glad you came to find Glenda. She’s been searching for you for so long. She will be so happy when you reunite.”
So would I. I was anxious to see my mother. But I had to be careful. Until we dealt with Ellington, I should probably stay away from her. I never should have come here in the first place until after we’d taken down The Company.
But if I hadn’t come here, I wouldn’t have met Liz. I could already feel a friendship developing between us. A tentative bond. Would she ever allow it to lead to anything more? It was time to give her a little push. See if I could get her to share with me now.
I cleared my throat, turning to face her. I hesitated, not wanting to scare her away.
“The fact that you’re still sitting here means I must not have scared you away with all of that.”
She looked into my eyes, her gaze hesitant, but this time, trusting. “You’re Glenda’s son,” she murmured. “I can see that clearly now. You not only look like her, but you have the same decency in you that she does, even after all you’ve gone through. It must be genetically ingrained in you or something. Glenda’s a very sweet, caring lady with a huge heart. She would give me the clothes off her back if she thought I needed them more than she did.”
My heart swelled, emotion clogging my throat. I loved Liz’s description of my mom. Could I be just like my mother someday? I wanted to be. I wanted to be just like her. Mom. But I’d done some pretty horrible things, things I didn’t want my mother to know about. What would she think if she knew her son was a killer? Would she love me anyway?
What about Liz? Now that she knew a little about my past, would it influence the way she viewed me? She didn’t seem to be bothered by it. Which gave me hope. Could she someday grow to care about me the way I wanted her to? Could she ever love me?
I was the friendly, easy-going guy. The lover. Liz was correct in her assumption that I’d been with plenty of women. The problem was, I didn’t know how to show her I didn’t want to be a playboy anymore. How did I convince her that the only woman I wanted right now was her?
My gut told me that if I kept pursuing her right now, it would only scare her away. So what did I do?
Act like you don’t want to be anything more than friends.
If I acted as if all I wanted from her was friendship, it would probably throw her off. Confuse her. Maybe even help her to relax. If I wasn’t pursuing her, making her wary and uncomfortable of my intentions, she might open up to me.
“So.” I looked into her eyes. “Are we friends now?”
Color crept into her face. “Um, friends?” Was it my imagination or did she sound disappointed? Hope sprang from somewhere deep inside.
Suddenly, more than anything, I wanted to be Liz’s best friend. I wanted her to trust me implicitly. I wanted to be the one she told all her secrets to.
“Yeah,” I said. “Friends share with each other. I shared my story with you. Now I’d really like you to share yours with me.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Liz
I gulped, staring down at my hands, wanting to scoot away from Ryan, wanting to avoid this conversation. But he was right. He’d shared personal things with me. It was only fair that I shared in return.
“What do you want to know?” Was he really curious about me? Little ole me?
His eyes twinkled with mischievousness. “Are you wearing a bra and panties underneath my sweats?”
My face burned. “Ryan!”
He snickered. “Just kidding.” He winked, though I caught a glimpse of longing in his eyes before he turned away. The idea that he thought about me that way made my breath catch.
“Sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you. But I couldn’t resist teasing you because you get so upset when I do.”
I lifted my chin. I did not.
Okay, maybe I did. But it was only because he made me all flustered and I didn’t know how to react to his teasing.
“You have nothing to fear from me, Liz. I promise. I’m just a jokester. I like to tease and make fun. But I would never hurt you, ever. I want you to know that.”
My glasses. Where were they? I’d never picked them up after fleeing the bed when he’d kissed me. I needed the distraction of searching for them now so I wouldn’t have to respond to that comment.
Oh, there they were. Right by my leg.
I snatched my glasses up and stuck them back on my nose. Then I forced myself to turn and meet his gaze. “Okay.”
Something flickered in his eyes. Amusement? Was he laughing at me?
“You like to use those glasses as a shield,” he murmured. “I can see that now. You think that by putting them on, you can block me out. Turn me off. Scare me away. For some reason, you think you’re homely when you wear them. But you’re wrong Liz. You could never be homely. You’re fucking gorgeous, and the sooner you realize that, the quicker your self-confidence will build.”
I snorted in disbelief. I would never be gorgeous. “Now you’re teasing again.”
His gaze narrowed. “I’m being dead serious right now. And it pisses me off that you think you’re not pretty.”
Our gazes locked. I stared into his eyes, trying to figure out if he was being real or not.
Then he rubbed a hand over his face. “God, you’re a tough one, you know that? So distrusting.” He heaved out a sigh, then lifted his gaze to mine. “How about for now, you just tell me whatever you’re comfortable sharing. Later, you can tell me all of your secrets. Because I do want to know all of them, Liz.”
There was a seriousness in his eyes that stole my breath. I lowered my gaze. Players didn’t ask questions about the girls they were trying to seduce, did they? Jeremy had never wanted to know anything about me. His own mouth had been spouting out all his achievements so fast that I couldn’t get a word in edgewise if I’d wanted to. But I had been so shy, so flattered by his attention that I’d just sat back and let Jeremy do all the talking. I didn’t feel that overwhelming shyness around Ryan. His presence was comforting. It was hard not to think about how hot he was and hard not to stare at his male beauty whenever he was near. Something about him invigorated me. Filled me with sassiness and courage. I enjoyed talking with him. Listening to him. Even flirting with him.
And now he wanted to listen to me. Was he being genuine? Did he really want to know about me? I thought players only cared about getting laid. Was this some kind of trick to get me to let down my guard? Or did he truly only want to be friends? Then why had he kissed me? Had he been trying to see if I was easy, and since I’d pushed him away, he’d decided to back off and just be frie
nds? Though a part of me was relieved at that thought, the other part of me was hurt, wondering why he just wanted to be friends now. Oh God, I was so confused. This was why I didn’t date. Why I stayed away from men. I didn’t understand men or their motives.
I glanced cautiously up at him.
“I’m waiting, Liz.”
I had noticed that Ryan said my name a lot, and every time he did, it sent a delicious warmth deep into my abdomen. He drew my name out every time he spoke it, saying it in a way that made me tingle with awareness and attraction. Lizzz. I don’t know why I was so attuned to him. I don’t know why I was so attracted to him. I had convinced myself earlier that I didn’t like him, but I knew now that was a lie, especially after everything that had happened tonight, and then hearing his story moments ago. I found myself softening towards him. Maybe I truly had misjudged him. Maybe it really wouldn’t hurt to give him a chance. The least I could do was be his friend, right?
“I’m pretty boring. All I really do is work.”
His gaze turned curious. “You don’t date?”
Heat crept into my cheeks. “No.”
“Why not?”
I hesitated. “Because men are jerks.”
He quirked a brow at that. “All men? Do you think I’m a jerk, Liz?”
Lizzz. God, why did I get so hot inside whenever he said my name like that?
I stared down at my lap, my fingers fiddling with the hem of Ryan’s big shirt that I wore. “I’m not sure,” I admitted at last. “I mean, you tease a lot, and it makes me all flustered, so I snap at you and I really don’t mean to, but...” I trailed off, considering my words. “I think you’re a big flirt, but I think it’s just part of your personality. You seem like a friendly, fun-loving guy. I’m sure most women find you irresistible.” I paused, choosing my next words carefully, hoping I wouldn’t offend him. “But I do think you’re a player and that you’re an expert at getting women to let down their guard so you can seduce them. I don’t think you intentionally hurt people. In fact, I think it’s all fun and games to you. I think most of the women are after the same thing you are: a good time. So no one ever gets hurt. And that’s why your attention to me makes me wary. Because I’m not your usual hookup and you know it. You make me uncomfortable because I don’t know what your true intentions are.” I paused, my face heating again. And after what Jeremy had done to me, I was reluctant to trust Ryan. I was reluctant to trust any man.
I slowly exhaled. There. I’d said it. Would he explode now? Get all offended?
I braced myself for his response.
“You didn’t answer my question, Liz.”
Lizzz. Heat throbbed in my core. I squeezed my thighs together, trying to stop my body’s reaction to him. God. Why did he affect me this way?
What question? Oh, right. Did I think Ryan was a jerk?
“No,” I said finally. “I don’t think you’re a jerk.”
He grinned. “Do I really make you all flustered?”
My face burned. Why had I admitted that to him? And why was he focusing on that and not the other things I’d said?
Because he’s trying to fluster you.
“Topic change,” I said quickly. “Let’s see. What else should I tell you about me? I’m twenty-five. I have an older brother named Keith. He’s married with two kids and lives in Tulsa. My parents are still happily married—believe it or not, it does happen—and they also live in Tulsa. My dad’s a mechanic and my mother is a school teacher.”
Ryan’s eyes lit up. “Your dad’s a mechanic? So am I.”
“Really?” I hadn’t expected that.
“Yep. Someday I want to meet your parents. I have a feeling your dad and I will get along just fine. And if your mother is anything like you, then I know I will like her.” He winked.
Why would he want to meet my parents? There was no way Ryan would ever stick around long enough to meet my family. He was just messing with me.
My heart hitched. Why? Why was he messing with me like this, filling me with hope? Didn’t he know how much I longed for a happily ever after someday? I would never find that with a man like Ryan because he was the type of man who never settled down. I needed to keep my distance from him, or he could hurt me all too easily.
His gaze intensified on me. “Why the sad face all of a sudden?”
I shook my head in denial, turning away.
He was silent a moment, and I felt his gaze on me, studying me. “Do go on, Liz. Tell me more. What do you do at the inn? Are you the manager?”
I turned back to him. “Yes, and the bookkeeper.”
He smiled. “Ah, so you’re good with numbers. Me, too.”
I perked up. “You are?”
“Yep. Technically, I’m a mathematical genius, but The General had no use for a mathematician in his soldier program, so he taught me how to be a mechanic instead. Not that I mind. I’m good with fixing anything on any motorized vehicle. But numbers are what excite me. There are numbers everywhere, even in nature. You’ve heard of the Fibonacci sequence?”
Oh yes, I had. “Each number in the sequence is the sum of the two numbers that precede it.”
“Yes.” Ryan’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “You do know it.”
Our gazes locked. We both smiled.
“I guess I’m not the only math nerd.” I chuckled. “Except you’re not a nerd at all.”
Ryan smirked. “Well, you’re the cutest nerd I’ve ever seen.” Then his gaze filled with that prior excitement. “One, one, two, three, five, eight, thirteen, twenty-one…” Ryan murmured, his eyes filling with challenge.
He was testing me on the Fibonacci sequence. Game on. “Thirty-four, fifty-five, eighty-nine…” I continued confidently, and we both laughed. Our gazes locked again. And something passed between us. Something special. A bond. A kinship. We shared a mutual interest, Ryan and I. We were both math nerds. My heart warmed as we stared into each other's eyes. He cleared his throat and looked away, breaking the spell. I never would have imagined he was a math genius. Lord help me, the more I learned about Ryan, the more I liked him. Glenda had an awesome son.
Easy there, Liz. Don’t fall for him.
“I can tell right now,” he murmured. “That we’re going to be friends for life.”
My heart sank. Friends. Of course. That was all he wanted from me now. Friendship. Maybe it was all he’d ever wanted. If I’d been easy, would he have already slept with me? He had kissed me, after all. But I’d been the one to pull away. He was giving me mixed signals. His behavior confused me. I didn’t know what he really wanted from me anymore.
What did you expect, Liz? You’re the nerdy girl. He’s the stud. You didn’t seriously think he would be interested in you for anything more than a quickie, did you? Of course, all he wants now is friendship. He knows if he sleeps with you, you’ll fall for him, and that’s probably the last thing he wants.
I tried not to be hurt by that realization. It was what I’d wanted, right? For him to keep his distance? For me to not fall for another player?
But it did hurt, which meant I was already starting to care for him more than I should.
I was a fool.
“It’s late,” I whispered, turning away from him. “It’s been a long night. I should get some sleep.”
Ryan rose and retrieved his prosthetic arm from where it sat on the edge of the bed. Curious, I watched as he rolled up his sleeve.
“Will you show me how it works?” I asked, hoping he wasn’t offended by my curiosity.
He glanced up at me. “Sure. This is a myoelectric transradial prosthesis.”
I cocked a brow. “That’s a mouthful.”
He chuckled, his eyes sparkling. “It is. Come on over, Liz. You’re about to get your first lesson in artificial limbs.”
I moved over to stand next to him, watching as he lifted the prosthetic and showed it to me. “This is the socket where it attaches.” He pointed to the opening at the end and slid his arm into the “sock” to demon
strate how it attached. “It’s custom fabricated to fit to my limb. It’s like a suction cup, a donning sock, which helps suspend it. The artificial limb is controlled by natural electricity generated by my muscles.” He made the wrist move. Then the fingers. “But I can’t feel anything with the fingertips, obviously. So it can be difficult picking things up because I can’t tell if I’m squeezing hard enough to grab, and sometimes I drop things. So if I ever grab you and squeeze too hard, it’s not intentional.” He winked. “This particular prosthetic is not only functional, but also aesthetically pleasing. People are less repulsed by a real-looking hand than by a hook or metal fingers.”
That made sense. At first glance, the hand and fingers almost looked real. Only upon closer observation could a person tell it was a prosthetic.
“It’s still cool,” I murmured. “So somewhere inside there are electrodes that sense when your muscles move, and they in turn tell the prosthetic to move?”
“Pretty much.”
“It looks expensive.”
“It is,” he admitted. “This is one of the higher tech ones. Cheaper ones have switches to power them and some are attached to the opposite shoulder.”
“Did The Company buy it for you before you were discharged?”
He snorted. “Hell no. The General wouldn’t spend that kind of money on a discharge. After we escaped, I visited a prosthetist and had one custom made. This is actually my second one. The first one was damaged in an explosion when a chunk of concrete fell on my arm a few weeks ago. The batteries have to be charged regularly. It has a little charger that I plug it into when the batteries get low.”
That was fascinating.
Ryan was fascinating.
Careful, girl. Don’t be stupid. Don’t fall for him.
I turned away, my lesson in artificial limbs over, but my fascination with Ryan continuing to grow. “I guess I’ll get some sleep now.”
Ryan nodded, his eyes growing hooded. Together, we cleaned everything off the bed. I set my glasses on the nightstand within easy reach. Then he turned away as I pulled the covers back and slid beneath them. Wasn’t he tired? Should I offer to let him share the bed?
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