I stuffed my phone in my pocket. He was right. I should go see her. I’d put it off long enough.
“You should go see her,” Liz urged. “I’ll be fine. I’m going to take a bath and relax.”
I wanted to help wash away her memories of Mateo and the past day, but I wasn’t sure what, if anything, I could do to help. She was still upset with me, and her vibe suggested she needed some space right now. I didn’t want to leave Liz, but if she needed time alone, then it would be best if I gave her some space.
“I guess I’ll go see my mom, then. When I get back, I would really like to talk to you.”
She looked into my eyes, her gaze cautious. “Okay. Be careful. I’ll see you in a little while.”
She turned away, disappearing into the bathroom.
I texted Luke and told him where I was going and asked him if he would check in on Liz while I was gone. He sent me a thumps up emoji in response. So I headed out, taking the stairs down to the main lobby, then walking next door to the Hampton Inn where my mother was staying.
I sent Tracker a text letting him know I was here, so that he and Jacob wouldn’t think I was Mateo and burst out and attack me. He responded back to let him know when I was leaving, and they would make sure to keep watch after I was gone.
Then I paused outside of Room 445.
My mother was on the other side of that door. My mother. Whom I hadn’t seen in fourteen years.
My heart thundered wildly. I could do this. Right?
Suddenly the door from the next room burst open and Tracker stepped out, eyeballing me.
“What?” I demanded.
“Just wanted to confirm it was you. Give me your hand.”
“Don’t get fresh with me,” I joked.
He sniggered. “Don’t worry. You’re not my type.”
We both chuckled. Then he grabbed my wrist and closed his eyes. I waited while he did his psychic thing, confirming it was me.
Finally, he nodded and stepped back. “You’re really you. Go on. Go see your mom. And good luck.”
“Thanks.”
He went back into his room and shut the door.
Drawing in a deep breath, I knocked on Mom’s door.
The sounds of someone moving around came from the other side of the door, and I guessed she was looking through the peephole at me.
A soft exclamation.
Then the door jerked open.
Before I could speak, a tiny woman launched herself at me, wrapping her arms around me and squeezing me tightly to her. She began to cry. Mom.
“Ryan,” she sobbed. “Oh, it’s really you!” She cried harder, her small body shaking with emotion as she clung to me, leaving no doubt in my mind that she loved me and she’d missed me and she was happy to see me. Memories swamped me, dragging me back to a past I’d forgotten, overwhelming me with the truth. Mom loved me. She always had. She’d only given me up because The General had forced her to. I couldn’t blame her no more than I could blame myself. The General had torn us apart. He’d done this to us. Not Mom. And not me.
My chest tightened, my eyes stung with tears, my throat clogged with emotion. I swallowed hard, holding her while she cried, feeling her love flowing into me. I wasn’t sure what I’d expected when I saw her again, but I hadn’t anticipated such an emotional reunion. This was my mom. She was real. And she was alive.
Dangerous or not, I was going to be a part of her life now. No one was keeping me away from her ever again. She was my mom. My family.
I don’t know how long we stood there, just hugging, while she cried and I admittedly shed a few tears of my own. Finally, she stepped back, sniffling and wiping her tears, and gazed up into my face.
“Oh, look at you, Ryan! You’ve grown so tall! And so handsome! So perfect!”
My breath hitched. I tried to make a joke to hide the onslaught of emotions I couldn’t fight. “When did you get so little, Mom?”
She let out a soft laugh and pulled on my arm. “I didn’t shrink, if that’s what you’re asking. You grew into a man.”
I chuckled and followed her into the room, making sure to lock the door behind me. Yeah, I had grown. In more ways than one. But Mom was just as I remembered her. She was the one who was perfect.
“You don’t look any different than you did the last time I saw you.”
She beamed, pulling me back into her arms for another hug. “What a sweet thing to say. But you, my boy, are much different, at least on the outside.” Her warm brown gaze landed on my prosthetic. “What did they do to you?”
“I got too close to an IED. But I’m fine, Mom. I only lost my hand and half of my forearm. Watch.” I wiggled the fingers of the prosthetic. “See? It’s almost like a real hand.”
She dragged me farther into the room and pushed me down on the small couch. Joining me, she sat close and turned to face me.
“I want to hear about your life. I want to know what happened after they took you away.”
My original desire to quiz her about the night they’d recruited me dissipated like smoke in the wind. I no longer cared about any of that. Mom was here, and that was all that mattered. I knew in my heart that she hadn’t let them take me willingly, that she’d been forced to give me up. She loved me. She was my mom.
My mom.
“I don’t want to talk about me,” I said. She didn’t need to know all the things I’d gone through. I wouldn’t put that much pain and guilt on her. None of it was her fault. The General was to blame, and he was dead now. Once we dealt with Mateo and Ellington, I could have a relationship with my mother without having to worry about someone coming to kill her. We wouldn’t have to meet this way.
“Tell me about what you’ve been doing, Mom.”
“I’ve been searching for you,” she admitted. “Nearly every day since they took you, I’ve been searching and praying and never giving up. I knew we’d find each other again someday.” Her voice cracked and she wiped at a stray tear. “I didn’t want to give you up,” she went on determinedly. “I swear it. You have to believe me. But The General threatened to kill me if I didn’t cooperate. At first, I didn’t care if I died. If they took you, I would have no reason to live. So I clung to you, refusing to give you up. But then I realized I couldn’t let them kill me, because someday you’d be free and we’d find each other again. And so I let you go, knowing it wouldn’t be the last time I saw you. And now, here you are.”
I cleared my throat, looking into Mom’s warm brown eyes. “And here I am.”
We both smiled.
“Where did you get that wanted poster?” I asked curiously. “It was from Georgia.”
“Oh, I have a secret contact in The Company. She’s been feeding me information about you. She sent me the poster and told me it was you. That’s why I was heading for Georgia. To find you.”
I stilled. What? A secret contact in The Company? That didn’t sound good.
“Mom, you can’t trust anyone from The Company. Male or female.”
“I know. I know. But she’s trustworthy. I’ve known her for years. She told me all about you. She told me about how you escaped. She told me why you are called a dreg and about your special talent.”
I flushed. She knew about my dreg talent? That was embarrassing. “Mom, you don’t need to know about that.”
She patted my arm. “Oh, there’s no need to be embarrassed. You’ve always been a handsome boy. Ladies are bound to be attracted to you.”
I cleared my throat. “I don’t use the pheromone anymore, Mom. I only used it when I had to out on missions. I have…” I broke off. I’d been about to say I had a girlfriend, but that wasn’t true. Liz wasn’t my girlfriend.
She watched me expectantly. “You have what?”
“I like Liz,” I said in a rush. “And if I can convince her to give me a chance, then I plan to make her my girl.”
“Oh!” She looked startled for a moment, then she clapped her hands. “That’s wonderful! Liz is a great girl. Oh, that makes me s
o happy. Yes, so happy.” She leaned over and hugged me again. “My Ryan and Liz? Yes, you two would be perfect for each other. Liz will make the perfect daughter-in-law because we’re already friends and we get along. Oh yes, I can help plan the wedding.” Her eyes lit with her excitement.
“Mom!”
She halted, her eyes widening as she gazed up at me.
“Chill out, okay? We’re not getting married. We aren’t even dating yet. I like her, okay? I like her a lot, and if I can convince her to give me a chance, then we can go from there. But for now, I can’t promise anything. I don’t even know if she’ll forgive me.”
Comprehension dawned in her eyes. “What did you do?”
I sighed. “I messed up. I hurt her feelings, and I don’t know how to make amends. I haven’t asked her to be my girl yet because I need her to forgive me first. I need to make things right with her.”
She huffed. “Sounds like you’re going to have to do some major sucking up. Maybe even some groveling. Tell me everything and I’ll see what I can do to help. Tomorrow, I want to have breakfast with both of you, so you’d better make things right before then.” Now there was reproach in her words. Was she shocked that her sweet boy wasn’t as sweet as she believed? How could I disappoint her with the truth?
“Mom.” I heaved out a sigh. “I don’t know where to start.”
She gently squeezed my hand. “Tell me everything that happened since you met Liz. Don’t hold back from me. I’m your mother. And after we work out the issue with Liz, you’re going to tell me about your life and what you’ve been doing the past fourteen years. I want to know everything about my boy. Even the bad. I want to know it all.”
A sigh eased out of me. She was my mom, and I wanted to tell her everything. I would leave out the parts that might upset her, but I would tell her the rest. I wanted to her know about me.
So I opened my mouth, and the words came out.
And while she listened, giving encouraging responses where necessary, soft exclamations when upset, and gentle hugs when needed…I told Mom everything.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Liz
After Ryan left, I filled the tub with hot water and soaked my sore body while I waited for his return. Closing my eyes, I leaned back and let the warm water soothe me. I tried to push Mateo from my mind, but every time I closed my eyes I saw his smirking face, his evil dark eyes, and his taunting voice echoed in my head. The dregs weren’t sure if Mateo was his true identity, or if he was someone else posing as Mateo. It was all confusing to me. Whoever he was, I hated him. I couldn’t wait for the dregs to catch him and be done with him.
I got out and dried off, then pulled out a clean pair of sweats and a sweatshirt from Ryan’s bag since I still didn’t have any clothes to wear. Nishi was too tiny to borrow any of hers, and Shannon was too slim, so I would have to make do with Ryan’s clothes until we were able to go buy some more.
A knock came at the door just as I finished combing my hair out. Grabbing my glasses, I slipped them on, then hurried across the room and peered out the peephole.
Luke stood out in the hallway, his gaze cautiously sweeping around. One thing I’d noticed about the dregs was that they were all wary, like wild animals anticipating danger, waiting for an attack. Luke, in particular, seemed extra guarded.
My heart jolted. Was Ryan okay? Had Luke come to tell me something had happened to him?
I yanked open the door. “Ryan?”
Luke’s gaze raked over me. “He’s fine. I’m only getting happy energy from him, so things must be going well with his mother.”
I puffed out a breath. “That’s good.”
He nodded. “You doing okay? Ryan asked me to check in on you.”
“I’m fine. Thanks.”
For a long moment, he didn’t say anything else. He just stood there, his gaze scrutinizing me. Luke was an intense person, and I sensed now that it had something to do with the empathy. Did he feel what I was feeling right now? I still had some residual trauma from what Mateo had done to me. I wasn’t sure how long it might take for me to get over it.
“It’s called PTSD,” he said quietly. “What you’re experiencing. We can help you deal with that. All the dregs have experienced it in some form or another.”
Heat crept into my face. “You can feel it?”
“I feel other people’s energies, good or bad. I can feel their emotions—and believe me, there are a lot more emotions than most people realize. I can feel people’s joy, their sorrow. I can feel anxiety, confusion, amusement, disgust, awe, envy, excitement, fear, sympathy, triumph, admiration, jealousy, sexual desire…”
Heat crept into my cheeks.
Luke’s eyes twinkled. “If you’re wondering, yes, Ryan desires you. He has since the moment he met you.”
My face grew hotter. That was…good to know, but also a little embarrassing that Luke knew about it.
Luke’s gaze turned serious. “I can also sense evil, ill intent.” He sighed and shook his head. “It’s too bad I couldn’t pick up Mateo’s vibe. If I had, I never would have let him come with us. I never would have let him anywhere near you. I apologize for what he did to you, Liz. If I’d been able to detect his energy, I could have prevented it from happening. I hope you can forgive me for that.”
Shock rocked through me. He was blaming himself? It wasn’t anyone’s fault but Mateo’s.
“I don’t blame you, Luke. I don’t blame anyone. Mateo may have traumatized me, but he didn’t take away my spirit. If anything, it only made me stronger. If I ever see him again, I’m going to hurt him,” I vowed.
Something flashed in Luke’s eyes. Admiration? “You’re a brave girl. But you don’t need to worry about that. The dregs will take care of Mateo. We won’t let him anywhere near you again. I promise.”
As I stared into his intense blue eyes, I witnessed the conviction there. I had no doubt that if Luke got a hold of Mateo, he would kill him.
He stepped back, clearing his throat. “Ryan shouldn’t be too much longer. If you need anything, I’m in the next room, the one to the left.”
I nodded. “Thank you. Goodnight.”
He turned away, and I closed and locked the door.
It was two hours later when Ryan finally returned.
I had tried to get some sleep, but I was too wired, my mind unable to shut down. So I turned on the television and flicked through the channels, but nothing caught my attention. All I could think about was Ryan and when he would be back. And what he would say to me when he got here.
The sound of the door opening alerted me that he’d returned. I glanced up as he stepped into the room. His gaze landed on me where I sat in bed, watching T.V.
He came forward, pausing beside the bed, his gaze cautious.
“How did it go?” I asked.
He smiled, the tension leaving his body as he relaxed. “It went great. We had a nice talk.”
I smiled back. “That’s good. Glenda’s a sweetheart. You’re lucky to have her for a mom.”
“Yeah.” He turned away. “I’m going to take a shower. Then we can talk.”
He removed his prosthetic, setting it in the armchair across from the bed, then disappeared into the bathroom.
For the next ten minutes, I anxiously fidgeted on the bed, pushing buttons on the remote, running my fingers over the pattern on the comforter, brushing my hands through my hair. Taking my glasses off, then putting them back on. Then taking them off again and leaving them on the night stand. I felt nerdy with them on, and I didn’t want Ryan to think I looked nerdy.
I continued to fidget, twining my fingers together, repeatedly glancing at the closed bathroom door. What was Ryan going to say to me? Luke had said Ryan cared for me, but “caring” for someone could mean a lot of things. I was still upset about that bet. Though Luke’s explanation had helped somewhat, I still wanted Ryan’s version of why he’d done it. The thought of Ryan using me the same way Jeremy had was too painful to contemplate. Even thou
gh I hadn’t slept with him, I still felt betrayed. I couldn’t deny my strong attraction to him. I couldn’t deny I wanted him to make love to me.
The bathroom door opened. Steam billowed out. Then Ryan appeared in the doorway.
Deja vu washed over me. This same scene had played out before me back in Lawton.
My pulse quickened.
He stepped out, a beautiful warrior emerging from the mist. All strength and masculinity and pure male perfection.
My breath caught.
Wearing only a white towel around his lean waist, he paused just inside the room, his gaze darting to mine. I swallowed hard, unable to stop my gaze from crawling down, down...
How could any man be so gorgeous? How could he seem even more perfect the second time around?
I would never get tired of looking at him. He was that beautiful.
His muscles gleamed with water droplets, his damp hair so sexy, so inviting, his body so purely male, mouth-wateringly beautiful with all those hard, sleek muscles…
I wanted to touch him. Everywhere. And I wanted him to touch me. Not just physically. But emotionally as well. Deep in my soul.
He’s already touching you emotionally, Liz. You’re falling for him. Admit it.
I sucked in a breath. It was true. I cared about Ryan. A lot. I might even be in love with him. He made me feel things that no other man ever had.
“Liz,” he murmured.
It took a great deal of effort to look up, to pull my gaze away from that splendid body, but I somehow managed to meet his eyes.
“If you don’t stop looking at me like that, I’m going to ‘accidentally’ drop this towel and give you a sight that’ll make you swoon.” He was joking with me, but I didn’t miss the heat in his eyes. The burning desire. For me.
An answering fire burned straight through me, skimming over every inch of my body, so potent it left me shaky and weak and completely scorched.
“Do it,” I urged. “Drop the towel.” Come join me here and make me yours.
For a moment, he seemed startled, then indecision flickered in his eyes as his gaze burrowed into mine. Finally, he turned away, striding over to his duffle bag where it sat on the floor.
The Extractor Page 22
