by Maisey Yates
“This is Joe,” Dane said.
“I didn’t know you had a dog.”
He shrugged. “I didn’t have a dog. Now I do.”
A dog that was going to end up a permanent resident of Bea’s sanctuary once Dane was healed. Because he sure as hell wasn’t home often enough to care for a dog. No matter how likable the dog might be. Lindy popped out of the house a moment later, a grin on her face, which shifted when she saw Joe. “What’s that?”
“I just asked the very same question. Apparently, Beatrix got Dane a dog.”
Lindy exploded with laughter. “She got you a dog!”
“It’s a long story. I’m helping her with...some things. We ended up going over to Big R two days ago, and Joe was there. His owner just passed, and the poor dog didn’t have anywhere to go. And you know Bea.”
“And she thought you needed an old dog?” now Lindy asked.
“Yes,” Dane said. “She did. Something about me needing to learn to care for other beings.”
“Well, that’s very nice of her.”
Dane sighed heavily. “It was very Bea of her. She tries to take care of everything. And I think in this case she decided that this would take care of me and the dog.”
“You don’t agree?” Wyatt asked.
“I don’t...not agree. I mean, he’s a nice dog. But I’ve never had a dog before.”
Lindy frowned. “Does this mean there’s a dog living in my house?”
Wyatt wrapped his arm around his wife’s shoulders. “It’s not your house anymore.”
“Yes,” Lindy said to her husband, lifting his arm up off her shoulders and stepping away from him. “I own that house. That means it’s my house. And Dane didn’t ask if he could bring a dog into it.”
“Beatrix has brought Evan into it,” Dane said, watching his sister’s expression closely.
Lindy blinked, and he could tell that fraction of a response meant she was awash in horror. “She has not.”
“She has,” Dane said. “She fed him cereal at the table.”
Her lips twitched. This was worth...well, everything. To be here in this moment, torturing his older sister. “I think you’re making that up.”
He shook his head. “I’m not making it up. Okay,” Dane said. “So she didn’t so much feed him cereal at the table as he got into a cereal box that was still sitting on the table. That’s splitting hairs.”
Lindy made a groaning sound and slapped her hand over her eyes. “This is ridiculous. You’re all ridiculous. It sounds like anarchy over there.”
“Animal anarchy,” Dane agreed.
He wondered what his sister would think of Bea using the property for a sanctuary. They’d have to discuss it, but not until Bea was ready to present an actual plan. Lindy would need a plan. A full plan with graphs and things, because that’s just how she was.
“In all seriousness, Lindy,” he said, because he was starting to feel more and more protective of Bea. It was a strange feeling, but not totally shocking, he supposed. Bea took care of him, whether he wanted her to or not. That he wanted to return the favor seemed fair enough.
He’d started the joke, but Lindy should know better than to think Bea was going to let animals run wild over her property. “You know that Bea isn’t taking advantage of anything. She loves you, and she respects you.”
“No, I... I know. She just...is irrepressible sometimes.”
“She’s determined,” Dane said. “Stubborn. And I think the difference between those two things and irrepressible matters. What she does, she decides to do.”
Lindy frowned slightly. “I... No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t...realize I made it sound that way. It’s just easy to...to think of her as a kid still.”
“She’s not,” Dane said, unsure of where the conviction had come from.
Lindy’s eyes narrowed. “No, she isn’t. But she’s still young.”
He had no idea what his sister was implying with what had sounded like a warning, and he chose not to turn it over too much. “But not a kid. Believe me, as someone who’s had all that determination pointed at him like a laser cannon over the past few weeks, I am more aware of what she’s capable of than most.”
Lindy shook her head. “I hope you enjoy the dog.”
“The dog is fine,” Dane said.
Though, he had to admit that it was kind of nice to have something to talk to at night when he was sitting there in the recliner. Even if it couldn’t talk back. Or probably understand him. But he got the sense that it was nice for the dog too. The old guy just sat there and let him go on. Sometimes it even looked at him.
For a man who had been feeling pretty solitary for the past eight months it was kind of nice.
Maybe Bea was onto something after all.
He wondered sometimes if she was roundly underestimated. If people saw things like the way that she rescued impractical creatures and thought of her as impractical. Rather than someone who was...
Caring like she did must be awfully damned heavy. And yet, even with all of that her smile often seemed effortless.
It was easy to think of her as a kind of bubbly, effervescent sprite who tripped around gathering furry creatures here and there.
But he realized in that moment what a mistaken thought that was.
He pictured her again, the way he had seen her the other day, kneeling down in the grass, looking at the little robin.
She had thought the bird was hurt. And there had been no way that her conscience would allow her to pass it by.
He didn’t know very many people who felt that strongly about...much of anything.
Bea watched. And she cared.
And better than that she acted on her feelings.
“And how are you?” Lindy asked, her gaze getting pointed. He remembered what Bea had said about that too. About how the way he responded to that concern from Lindy proved that he wasn’t entirely selfish. He liked that interpretation of it.
But he also supposed that meant he could bend just a little bit more on the subject. That he didn’t need to be quite so difficult.
“Sore sometimes,” he said. “But, I’ve been all right. After the workdays. And I’ve even been doing a little bit around Bea’s cabin. Don’t yell at me for that.”
He could tell that Lindy was trying not to yell at him.
“As long as you’re feeling okay,” she said.
“I swear to you,” he said. “I’m not trying to do anything to mess up my body. I want to be back and functional as soon as possible, and I understand that abusing myself isn’t going to help me accomplish that.”
“That’s very sensible,” Lindy said, clasping and unclasping her hands.
“Sometimes I’m sensible.”
She shook her head. “No, you aren’t.”
“I really am,” he said. “I managed to have the good sense to get where I am in life now, didn’t I?”
Lindy bit her lip. It was Wyatt who said the words that she was holding back. “You mean, trampled by a bull?”
“But for the grace of God, Dodge. And anyway, you know that’s not what I meant. I was sensible enough to get my ass up out of poverty, wasn’t I?”
“Yes, you did,” Lindy said.
“I’m not going to just sit down now. That’s the thing you have to understand. I’m being careful. But I’m a man who knows what he wants. And I’m a man who’s determined to get it.”
After the conversation, he and Joe, and Joe’s various supplies, wandered over to the field to begin the day’s work. And if Dane naturally walked a little bit slower so that he didn’t tire Joe out, then that was fine. He didn’t want the dog to end up stiff and uncomfortable.
It was just for the dog.
That was all.
* * *
BEA SPENT THE whole day thinking a litt
le bit too much about how Dane and Joe were doing. She thought about them, even while she went over to Valley Veterinary for her shift.
Bennett was out in the field, but Kaylee was there, seeing to her usual workload.
They had just finished doing a general physical on Clarence, a particularly cute dachshund, with a handsome and attentive owner. The kind of man that—if Bea weren’t such a goner for Dane—might have interested her. He was so clearly an animal person. She thought of the way that Dane had reacted to Joe. They seemed to be bumping along well together, but Dane was clearly not sure about what to do with a pet in the general sense.
But he was trying. Just the memory of how he was trying made her smile.
“What are you thinking about?” Kaylee asked, working at sterilizing instruments on a metal tray in the exam room. Beatrix was checking stock and in general getting familiar with what all the standard equipment was.
“What?” Bea asked.
“Your eyes went large. Like they do when you see an animal you like.”
“Oh.” Bea shook her head. “I wasn’t thinking about an animal.”
“Really?” Kaylee asked. “Were you thinking about Michael?”
That must be Clarence’s owner. Bea frowned. “He seems very nice.”
“Yes,” Kaylee said. “He is. He’s also seeing someone pretty seriously.”
“Well,” Bea said. “Good for him.”
“I thought so, considering I tried to date him for about five minutes but couldn’t actually make it work because I was so hung up on Bennett.”
Bea blinked, uncomfortable with the strange parallels in the moment. Between Bennett and Kaylee, and herself and Dane.
Of course, the primary difference there would be that Dane was never going to be interested in her back.
“Well, I’m glad he found someone.”
“You’ll find someone too,” Kaylee said.
Bea loved Kaylee. A whole lot. But the fact that she was assuming she knew what Bea was thinking grated on her.
“Well, if nothing else, you know that I’ll always find something,” Bea said. “It’s my talent.”
She could let the conversation die there and continue to let Kaylee think she was aimless. Waiting for a man or animal to come along, like she wasn’t doing things in her life. That was how she usually handled people.
But maybe...maybe she needed to stop. As safe spaces for that kind of thing went, Kaylee was a good beginning.
“Kaylee,” she said slowly. “I am thinking of starting up an animal sanctuary.”
Kaylee paused, a wet cloth held steady in her hands. Her eyes went wide. “An animal sanctuary. That sounds like a really big undertaking.”
“It will be,” Bea said, heartened by the fact that Kaylee hadn’t told her not to. By the fact that she hadn’t laughed. That she hadn’t told Bea it was impossible.
“It will be a lot of work, but it’s something I’m up for. Though, you know, an animal sanctuary won’t exactly fund itself.” Bea’s trust fund would do it. But, with that in mind, she would need a job for her daily expenses even more.
“No,” Kaylee said softly. “That kind of thing isn’t known for being very lucrative.”
Bea shook her head. “No. And I don’t need it to be. Eventually, I’ll have to figure out donors and things. But, only eventually. I’ll be able to sustain it for a few years. Maybe I could get some part-time work to supplement though.” She squared her shoulders and steeled herself for the rest. “I’m taking an online course through Western Oregon University. To become a vet tech.”
“Bea,” Kaylee said. “That’s fantastic.”
Instantly, relief flooded her. Of course Kaylee didn’t think it was silly. Of course Kaylee thought she could do it. Because Kaylee saw her with animals. And if there was one thing that Bea did very well with, visibly, it was animals.
“I have to pass it first,” Bea said. “And there’s a lot of...technical questions and things. A lot of technical things to learn. I know I don’t have to tell you that, because you went fully to veterinary school. So. But, I just... It’s much easier for me to study like this. Out of a classroom, I mean. I didn’t ever do very well in school. Not that I did terribly or anything but, you know, average. The idea of continuing school was always daunting to me. But I really want to do this. And... I thought I might try.”
“You would have a full-time job here. If that’s what you want. I couldn’t imagine someone more capable, someone more compassionate taking care of my patients. And I know you’re going to do a fantastic job. Everything you do here is great.”
“Yes,” Bea said. “But I haven’t assisted with the surgery yet.”
“We do get a few. But, this is a small-town practice, and while we definitely do have our emergencies, mostly we get our regulars in for checkups and vaccines. It’s rewarding to take care of them.”
“I get that feeling. I haven’t told anyone else. About the vet tech thing. Well, no one except for Dane.”
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with him,” she mused.
“Well, we’re living on the same property. And he’s going to help me with the sanctuary. With building plans. And all of that.”
“Wow,” Kaylee said. “That’s pretty big. I mean, he doesn’t have a whole lot of capacity physically right now, does he?”
“He’s getting better,” Bea said. “But it’s very generous of him to offer himself like this. He’s really supportive. And...”
She realized that she was getting borderline poetic. About a man who she really had no business being poetic about.
“You know,” Bea said quickly. “As a brother.”
“He was never your brother-in-law,” Kaylee said, shaking her head.
“It doesn’t matter. That’s the foundation of our relationship. Him being Damien’s brother-in-law. I mean, that’s...how he knows me. Basically a younger sister.”
“But that’s not how you feel about him. And you weren’t thinking about Michael, were you?”
Bea was feeling safer right now with Kaylee than she could remember feeling with anyone. So far, Kaylee had listened to her talk about school, and about the sanctuary. And she hadn’t made her feel stupid. Hadn’t made her feel wrong. Not at all. “I know that nothing’s going to happen between us. I do know that. I think Lindy knows that I have a crush on him. But that’s all it is. It’s a crush. I admire him. I don’t really aspire to the whole marriage thing, not really. Not now. I mean if I were going to, obviously I’d like a man like him, but I... Not him. I’m not stupid.”
Foolishly hopeful, maybe. But, not stupid.
“Bea, there’s nothing stupid about caring for someone. And honestly... Relationships change. Look at Bennett and me. I loved Bennett. For almost half my life. And he didn’t look at me the way that I looked at him in all that time. Not until... Not until he did.”
“What changed?” Bea asked. Because no matter that it was a stupid thing to do, she wanted to know. She wanted to know because she wanted it. Even if she shouldn’t.
“The wind? The way that my hair looked? The way that his heart beat. I don’t know. I don’t know the answer to any of it. Maybe it was him. Maybe it was me. Maybe it was just life. But somehow... Well, I kissed him. I kissed him and he didn’t seem to think it was the worst thing. And then I propositioned him.”
“You propositioned Bennett?”
“Yes,” Kaylee said, smiling faintly. “It was not...one of my finer moments. It was a little bit desperate. But that was all when his son had just shown up, and Bennett’s whole life was thrown into turmoil.” She frowned. “Well, I guess that’s the answer. Sometimes, when everything around you is different, you see the people around you differently too.”
“I guess,” Bea said.
Except, that made Bea feel unspeakably depressed. Because everything around
Dane had changed. He couldn’t ride anymore. He was housebound at Lindy’s. Bea was taking care of him. They saw each other more now than they ever had.
There had been no magical change. Not at all.
Of course, she hadn’t kissed him. Or propositioned him. But... Surely Kaylee had had some indicator that making a move wouldn’t be met with...abject horror or something.
Also, she imagined that Kaylee had kissed a man before she’d kissed Bennett. Had probably even slept with a man.
Bea had not done either thing. And the idea of crossing a physical line with Dane when he had given absolutely no indication that...
The very idea made her want to crawl beneath one of the blue felt and metal chairs in the waiting room and hide for the rest of her life.
“I’m just saying. Sometimes things change. People change.”
“So you recommend long-term hopeless crushes then?”
“Oh, hell no,” Kaylee said. “But then, I tried just about everything to get over him.”
Well, so Bea could confirm with that statement that Kaylee had a heck of a lot more experience than she did.
“What if I just...don’t want to? What if I just want...”
“Well, that’s the other thing. If things don’t shift around him and change his heart, then count on the fact that they’ll shift around you and change yours. If you want him...you can always make a move.”
Bea had no idea what making a move on Dane would even look like. Or what the point would be. She didn’t expect love and devotion or forever from Dane.
“You’re taking control of your life with going to school. Why not with this? New job. New boyfriend.”
The very idea of having a boyfriend made Bea feel bemused. Dane seemed...too hard and sharp-edged to be anything as soft-sounding as a boyfriend. What would that be like? To be with him. In...any kind of romantic capacity.
She couldn’t imagine it. Which was funny because she’d had feelings for him for so much of her life and yet she just...had never imagined being with him was possible. So she didn’t think about what-if.
Talking with Kaylee made her think about all kinds of things.
