by Sara Summers
That night, he slept in my bed. Our bed, if he was really doing the therapy thing.
Maybe I shouldn’t have offered to make my bed his in trade, but it was better than offering to kiss him or something. Kissing him would definitely lead to jumping back into things full-throttle, because there was nothing as fantastic as kissing him.
Except the sex, but those memories were off-limits. I was plenty tempted by everything else, I didn’t need memories to push me back into his arms.
He was gone when I woke up, at work already, but there was a note taped to the top of the TV again. This time, it said:
Scheduled an appointment with a therapist tomorrow at 4. I’m going to make this work.
And your snoring is even more adorable than I remembered. Have a good day.
I wrinkled my nose. He’d always told me I snored, but I didn’t believe him. Wouldn’t a person know if they snored?
But if he had already scheduled the appointment, he wasn’t trying to put it off. That meant he was really in, that he really wanted to do what it took to be with me. When he said he’d been planning on agreeing to the therapy before he walked back into the apartment the night before, I believed him.
Rhett was the kind of guy who made things happen. He always had been. If he was determined to make us a thing again, I wouldn’t bet against him. Even if I was going to make it difficult.
When I got home from school that day, Rhett’s car was gone. I knew he’d be at Isla’s with his brothers, using her studio-room to record their YouTube videos, so I wasn’t worried or anything.
When I saw the vase full of flowers sitting on the counter though, I frowned.
Flowers? Since when did Rhett do flowers? We both agreed we preferred chocolate over flowers and donuts over chocolate. It had been our thing; we brought home donuts when we were thinking about each other and wanted to be cute or whatever. How had he forgotten that?
A shiny white card stuck out from the bouquet, and I crossed the room to read it. As soon as I opened it and saw the handwriting that was definitely not Rhett’s, I groaned.
Cameron. The flowers were from Cameron.
And if they were on my counter, Rhett had picked them up off the doorstep or let Cam in to put them on the counter himself.
I was tempted to text Cam to make sure Rhett hadn’t decked him in the face, but thought better of it. If Cameron thought I was interested to the point of buying me a massive bouquet of flowers, I needed to be much more careful about spending time with him. Every inch of my heart belonged to the otter shifter who broke it three years earlier, and Cam obviously hadn’t gotten that message.
My eyes skimmed the card. He wrote some jazz about having a great time with me the night before, about feeling bad I had to deal with Rhett and knowing that he was always there for me.
I groaned again. Definitely shouldn’t have let him hear when I answered the phone and told Rhett I was single.
Tossing the card in the trash, I hung my backpack on the hook next to my purse and headed into my room to throw my hair up in a ponytail. On my way to the bathroom, I saw my reflection in the mirror. I was wearing my favorite sweater; black and fuzzy, cut just right to show off the lavender cotie on my collarbone. The black was a stark contrast to the shimmering purple, and I loved the way they looked together.
Satisfied, I stepped into the bathroom. The moment I did, I found a note taped to the mirror. My eyebrows knitted together. Apparently, Rhett was threatened enough by Cameron that he was stepping up his game, taping his notes to the mirror instead of the fridge. Adorable weirdo.
I grabbed the folded piece of paper and opened it. When I saw the delicate silver ring taped to the inside of the note, my jaw dropped open.
The note said,
I was going to propose that day. The ring was burning a hole in my pocket when we rushed to the doctor’s office. When they explained what was happening, I couldn’t breathe. When I stepped outside to get some air, I was both terrified and furious. I didn’t know what losing the baby meant for us or our future, and I convinced myself that it was my fault. I chucked the ring into the woods behind the office.
As soon as I turned to walk back inside, I felt so crappy about throwing it that I ran back out to find it. Turns out it’s hard to find a tiny ring in a big forest.
When I realized I’d been searching for ten or fifteen minutes, I rushed back inside. The look in your eyes told me I was right—it had been my fault, and then I’d gone and left you to face it alone. You screamed at me to leave and never come back, and I honestly believed you’d be better off without me, so I did.
I walked back into the woods and I searched the rest of the day. Finally found the ring at about 2 AM, and it’s been burning a hole in my pocket ever since. I thought you should have it. Throw it away if you want, toss it into the woods, or sell it, but it’s yours. Always has been. Always will be.
Tears pooled in my eyes, and I folded the paper back in half. What the crap did Rhett think he was doing? Telling me about the past without having to look at my eyes? Making me miss him and wish I’d reacted differently?
Cameron’s flowers had obviously spurred him into leaving the note and the ring, but I couldn’t blame him for wanting to make it clear how he felt back then and right now after another man left flowers and basically said he would be there to love me whenever Rhett and I finally parted ways again.
But leaving a ring taped to a sheet of notebook paper? Really?
I spun on my heels and stormed out of the apartment, grabbing my purse and keys as I went. Driving to Isla’s house in a cold rage, I ignored my wild hair and the fact that I hadn’t bothered with makeup that morning. I’d been to Zane and Isla’s place once the week before, so I knew where I was going and knew that Isla wouldn’t mind the intrusion. That girl thrived on human interaction and drama.
When I got to Zane and Isla’s, I knocked once before walking in. I blazed through the kitchen, past Isla and her stand mixer and cookie dough, heading straight for the studio and the masculine voices coming from it.
The guys stopped singing when I walked in, holding Rhett’s note hanging open with the taped ring on display. I’d planned out a million furious things to say when I was on my way there, but standing in front of my man and his brothers, I couldn’t think of a single one.
Scrambling for words, I finally said,
“This is the tackiest proposal on the planet, Rhett Roran, and I think you already know my answer.”
You could’ve heard a cricket chirp in the room, it was so quiet.
I dropped the paper and ring, turning and storming out while tears stung my eyes. The story of that day from his point of view hit me hard, and I’d been running from the feelings of that while I raced toward him. Now that they caught up to me, crying in a ball on the floor of my bathroom was the only thing I wanted to do for the rest of the day.
“It wasn’t a proposal.” Rhett caught up to me quickly, the note in his hand when he did. “I was giving you the ring. It’s yours.”
“Well I don’t want it.” I snapped, leaving Isla’s house just as fast as I’d gotten there. Rhett slid into the passenger seat in my car as I twisted the keys. He dropped the paper on his lap and turned in the seat to face me. His big, warm hands cupped my face, and the look in his eyes was soft.
“Talk to me, baby.”
I scowled at him, tears still welled up in my eyes.
“You only wrote that note because of Cameron’s flowers. You were jealous, or threatened or whatever, and you’re trying to remind me of our past so I don’t go to him or something.”
Rhett snorted. He honest to goodness snorted.
“You think that pansy threatens me? I could eat him, Kina. Literally.”
I rolled my eyes.
“I’ve been wanting to give you the ring ever since that day, especially since I’ve been sleeping on your couch. I was nearly positive you’d reject both it and me, and I’m kind of a chicken when it comes to you. Losing you�
� isn’t something I coped with well.” He looked a little sheepish when he admitted that. “Last night, you made it sound like you want me to be more alpha-male, so I went for it. My note was taped on the mirror before that idiot dropped off the flowers and ran.”
“He is kind of an idiot.” I blinked back the tears.
“Understatement. If he thinks he can flirt my soulmate away from me right under my nose, he’s worse than an idiot. He’s a moron.”
I rolled my eyes, and his lips tilted upward.
“It’s sexy when you roll your eyes at me.”
“Everything about me is sexy.” I quipped. It was the kind of thing I would’ve shot back when he teased me the first time we were together, and it just sort of came out.
“Darn right.” His thumb brushed away a tear that slipped out of my eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t chase after you that day. I knew you didn’t mean it when you told me not to come back, but I was a mess. Still am, as you’ve noticed.”
“Yeah, you are.” I looked down at my lap, my hand lifting to cover his. “Were you really going to propose that day?”
“You know I don’t lie, Kina. I’d been trying to figure out how to do it for weeks. Marriage doesn’t matter much to me, but I knew it was important to you after all the broken homes you were in, and I wanted it to be perfect for you. After I chucked the ring, I wished I’d just dropped down on one knee the day I bought the stupid thing.”
“Sounds like you.” I bit my lip, lifting my eyes to his. “Can I see it?”
His eyes brightened. He pulled one hand off my face, leaving the one I’d pinned to my cheek with my own hand. It took some maneuvering for him to get it off the notebook paper with one hand since he’d taped it on pretty good, but he managed. When he handed it to me, I let go of him and took it between both of mine.
The band was slim and silver, holding a tiny, tear-shaped diamond. It was perfect.
“I want to punch you so badly right now.” I said, going back in time mentally. I hadn’t known where we went from there either. I’d been scared that Rhett would leave me for losing the baby, that he’d hate me or regret everything. Maybe if he’d proposed before, I wouldn’t have worried so much. Maybe I would’ve even chased him.
Then again, maybe not. There was no point in wondering.
Rhett grimaced.
“Don’t like it? That was another reason I didn’t propose. We didn’t have much money, and I know you think diamonds are kind of a waste, but—“
I leaned over the console and pressed my lips to his, shutting him up in my favorite way.
“I want to punch you for choosing a perfect ring and proposing to me three years too late.” I said, leaning my forehead to his and shutting my eyes.
“Technically I still haven’t proposed.”
“Wow, now I want to punch you even more.” I pulled away, glaring at him playfully.
He chuckled, tugging his hand through my hair.
“Your hair is longer, now.”
“I chopped it off to my chin when I realized you weren’t coming back. Before the drugs. I thought it might make me feel different, stronger or something. Didn’t work, obviously.” I admitted, running my fingers through it. “It’s kind of annoying long. Might chop it again.”
“Bet you’re sexy with short hair.” His lips lifted into a grin.
“You think I’m sexy even when I’m buried under six blankets.”
“Definitely.” Rhett agreed. “So are you throwing it into the woods, or selling it, or what?”
My eyebrows lifted.
“Do I look like someone who wants to rake the woods all night to find it? This sucker is staying with me, right on my finger.” I slipped it onto my right hand’s ring finger and wiggled my fingers at him. “How does it look?”
“Not as sexy as the rest of you, but at least it’s where it belongs now.”
I rolled my eyes again, tucking my hair behind my ear.
“If you ever decide to propose again and I’m ever stupid enough to say yes, you’ll have to get me another ring for my left hand. This is an apology ring, and this is the marriage hand.” I wiggled my other, bare fingers at him.
“Yes ma’am.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. My eyes shut and I leaned into him. Kissing Rhett was the most natural thing in the world.
But I pulled away a few seconds later, waving my finger around my mouth.
“It’s not open season on these babies, Rhett. You want to kiss me, you see that therapist. You start recovering. You open up more, tell me more, and make more effort. We’re not doing us until you figure out you.”
“Deal. But you’d better make it clear to Cameron that you’re mine, or else I’m going to show up to one of those meetings and kiss you in front of everyone. He might be a pansy, but that doesn’t give him the right to make a move on my girl.” Rhett warned.
That was almost exactly the same thing he would’ve said three years earlier, and that fact had me grinning from ear to ear.
“Deal.”
He held out his hand, and I shook it.
RHETT
I stuck to Kina’s rules like a drowning man to a lifejacket. I’d tried—and failed—at life without her, and I’d do whatever it took to be with her again. Pride prevented me from agreeing to therapy the first time, but I’d ditched my pride for something way more important.
Love.
We shared a bed without kissing and lived together without talking about love. She kept busy so I did too, but the thirty minutes a day we spent together changed.
Rather than her trying to avoid me and eye contact and conversation, Kina sat next to me on the couch. We played video games on our respective TVs, yelling at each other and laughing together and ranting about the other idiots on our teams in the video games.
We avoided everything heavy for the next two months when we were together. Cameron didn’t leave any more flowers, but I brought Kina donuts every once in a while. Donuts were our love language, after all.
Kina was right about the therapy. It was uncomfortable at first, but it actually helped. I went twice a week and felt a little lighter every time. I found myself smiling more, and working harder. I became a better brother, and while I didn’t tell them what had gone down with Kina three years ago, I did open up a little.
I was reaching down to unlock the apartment door when I heard Isla speak, so I paused.
“I thought he was the quiet one, but obviously I was wrong about that. He makes the other guys laugh even more than Stetson!” Isla exclaimed.
Kina laughed, and my lips lifted. That would always be my favorite sound in the world.
“I told you he wasn’t the quiet one. That’s Calvin. Rhett’s just been through a lot.”
“Am I allowed to ask what happened? He never gave me any details, just said he screwed things up.”
Kina didn’t answer right away. I considered going inside like I hadn’t caught them talking to save her from the conversation. Two months earlier I would’ve done it, but the therapy had changed me. Sometimes, we needed to talk through our crap. Maybe it was finally time for us to start talking about ours, both together and with other people.
“We moved into our own apartment a few months after Rhett dragged me back to Mount Edge.” Kina finally said. “We’d been living with his parents before, which sucked but there was no way around it since we were sixteen and broke. It became the party place almost immediately, so when graduation rolled around the next year, it was naturally where we had the after-party.
“I’d tried to take birth control, but it made my anxiety and depression go haywire so we agreed it wasn’t an option. There were other options, but I was afraid of them so we went with condoms. The graduation party came around and some douches strung up our condoms like the horny, immature shifter boys they were, since none of them had found their soulmates yet.
“We got freaky after they left, and there were no condoms. We figured we’d be fine without it; some people spend
years trying to get pregnant, you know? But we weren’t fine. Found out I was pregnant five weeks later.
“We were scared at first, but a few days later we were insanely excited. We talked about baby names, argued about whether we should get a black or white crib. Decided we needed to save up for a house, fast. We kept it a secret because the internet said that’s what you do during the first trimester, so it was even more exciting because we were the only ones who knew.
“I knew what was happening when I started bleeding, and I called the doctor. When we went in to the office, Rhett was a robot. He walked out after they couldn’t find that tiny heartbeat, and I was just bawling inside, all alone.
“When he finally came back, I was pissed. I told him never to come back, and he didn’t. Now I know he was planning on proposing, and he was just sad and hurting in his own way, but I wasn’t thinking right either. I blamed myself because I was the one who lost the baby, you know? But I guess he did too.”
Kina was quiet for a few seconds.
“I’ve never told anyone but my therapist about that. Kennedy has her suspicions, but I’ve never brought it up and neither has she. Honestly, I wish we would’ve told his family right when we found out. They could’ve helped us through it. Maybe then we wouldn’t have spent all this time living away from each other.”
“You can tell them now.” Isla’s voice was gentle. “Thank you for trusting me.”
“Thanks for being trustworthy.” Kina’s voice was just as soft. “You’re a good friend, Isla.”
“Oh, I’m a best friend. Perky McPerk and Realy McReal, taking on the world one sad memory at a time. We can be broken together, ‘kay?”
“Alright.” Kina laughed. “Sounds like a plan.”
I slipped back down the stairs and into my car, my mind twisting and turning with my soulmate’s words. Kina was right; we should’ve told my parents everything, and we should’ve done it a long time ago. My family had always been close, but the rift between me and Kina had hurt all of us. Even my youngest brother, who was only ten when Kina and I split, had asked about her dozens of times.
