Let’s see if she’s amused when I get my hands on her throat …
The lion—Nemo, Leo … I didn’t know what its name was anymore—came at me again, and I feigned one way and then the other. The creature’s large size was a hinderance to it, and I maneuvered right past it.
The open gate was just a couple yards away. I was going to make it …
And then the gate fell shut like Thor’s hammer.
And I ran right into it.
“Ouch,” Garfunkel said.
Some annoying prick in the grandstands above me laughed and threw a tomato at me. A tomato!
“This was your choice, remember,” the woman’s voice echoed from the other side of the gate.
“Lion!” Simon shrilled.
I spun and dashed to the side as the lion slammed against the gate. Then the lion’s pompom tail slung back like a fireball and dealt me a glancing blow against the ribs, twirling me through the air like a cheerleader to the arena floor.
I’m like the great American hero Rocky Balboa. I may fall a lot, but I always pick myself back up.
This time it was Garfunkel who shrieked. “Scorpio!”
I turned in time to see the giant scorpion click-click-clicking its way toward me and the lion.
Guess she was hungrier than I thought.
“Star of the Show”
So the Nemean Lion, a giant scorpion, and little ol’ me walk into a bar—I mean gladiatorial arena … The lion has an impenetrable hide, teeth and claws; the scorpion has a hard shell, pincers and a stinger; and me …
I had a bundled-up maybe-weapon/definitely-cursed-object strapped to my leg. Did I dare risk my employer’s wrath by unwrapping it and finding out if it could help me?
I did.
But first I threw myself to the arena floor as the giant scorpion collided with the lion and the crowd gasped. Then I sat up and unwrapped Typhon’s cursed treasure, turning over a foot-long solid-forged tomahawk with a four-inch blade. It looked like it was comprised of solidified molten rock—kinda like the hide of a balrog—and its haft was littered with scratchings that might have been crude, tiny lightning bolts.
I wrapped my fingers around the bulky grip, which oddly enough conformed to my hand until it fit perfectly against my palm. The lightning bolt sigils on the sides glowed red with the contact (yep, definitely cursed), and the metal grew warm, like a stoked campfire. And don’t get me started on the balance; it felt like an extension of my arm—a very wicked-looking, axe-like extension of my arm.
And I found that I very much wanted to use it, which was odd.
I needed to escape this place. But the twelve-foot-tall arena walls surrounded me like a mountain range. I felt trapped. Constricted. Caged.
Caged …
Like all the Others lining the hellish, straw-littered utility tunnel.
My mind flashed back to that one eel-like abaia with its flat head pressed up against the glass, winking at me beseechingly—
“Move!” Garfunkel wailed.
Obeying blind instinct, I threw myself to the side as lion’s hair brushed my bare arm, the scorpion the size of a Caterpillar dump truck with a backhoe arm for a tail clipping its pincers wildly in the air in front of my face.
I spilled to the side as the two mythical beasts duked it out, trying not to get stepped on. They were huge. They were like dinosaurs …
“Welcome to Jurassic Park,” I muttered under my breath as I dodged a spear-like scorpion leg.
“I love that movie!” Garfunkel shouted.
“Too scary!” came the voice from my other shoulder.
I ducked under one of the lion’s massive paws as he took another swipe, crippling one of the scorpion’s legs with a sound like crunching glass. (Isn’t there a saying about a lion in a china shop … Well, there is now …)
The crowd cheered.
“Stop fighting!” Simon shouted.
“They can’t hear you,” Garfunkel said. “Not in our current form.”
Current form …? My familiars and I were going to have a little talk after this was all over.
The scorpion’s stinger thunked down upon the lion’s head like a hammer in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
I wasn’t laughing, though. I was busy trying to maneuver around their entangled bodies. They just kept moving the way I wanted to go. And part of me was begging me to sink the volcano axe into one of the beasts.
Only if I have to, I thought.
The scorpion pitched sideways and I rolled under its body, springing up and slashing its underside with the axe blade just to test its edge.
And shit.
The blade cut right through the scorpion’s exoskeleton like a laser. Already, what looked like lava was boiling out of and around the incision I’d made, dripping to the arena floor with an evil hiss.
I glanced down at the axe in my hand, which now seemed to bubble and reform like contained magma.
The lion roared, which brought my head up. Acid was eating away at its glorious mane.
Acid?
I recalled the scorpion’s stinger and understood. What I didn’t understand was why the lion was glaring at me with two fuming eyes as if I was somehow responsible … (Well, I guess it had followed me in here …)
I positioned myself so that I was between the scorpion and the lion as the jungle cat reared back and sprang. I dropped to the floor as the lion soared over me, raising the axe blade up against its ribs.
The lava axe melted through hide, seared through flesh and cut through bone.
So much for a hide impervious to mortal weapons … Oh right, cursed weapon here.
The lion continued its course, landing atop the scorpion’s writhing shell, sliding back as its canines chomped over the scorpion’s swaying tail. It didn’t seem to notice the lava dripping from its belly.
“Stop fighting!” Simon yelled again, this time his words carrying some physical weight to them. I thought the words might actually have been audible to others beside me. And that’s when Simon’s tiny body started to glow like a shoulder-mounted Evenstar. So was Garfunkel.
“Guys? What are you doing?”
“Are you sure?” Garfunkel was asking, and then the two of them glowed even brighter and they seemed to … come together to form an even brighter light that pulsed once and then went out.
I lowered my hands from my eyes. My familiars were no longer on my shoulders … And yet I could still feel my unique bond to them.
Twenty feet away, Scorpio and Nemo/Leo paused in their fighting to stare my way.
“Scorpio! Leo! You don’t have to fight each other!”
The voice came from above and beside me, the words clear and ringing like the peal of a liberty bell. I turned and …
Wow.
Beside me stood an eight-foot-tall bronze-skinned woman garbed in silver armor that covered her uh rather magnificent front sorta like Wonder Woman. But instead of the Lasso of Truth, she held an old-fashioned scale in one hand … and a gleaming sword in the other. She thrust it toward the heavens er tall ceiling, with a battle cry like justice, and for some reason, I expected it to start raining … peace?
But that didn’t happen. Scorpio and Leo pried themselves apart from each other and charged in unison at her.
And the crowd loved it.
I was still standing there all like holy shit did both of my five-inch-tall invisible familiars just morph into some badass Power Rangers Megazord in the shape of a metallic-skinned Amazonian warrior?
My head was spinning so hard I didn’t know where to start. So I just stood back and watched as … Lady Justice met Leo and Scorpio’s combined strike.
The lion leapt up at her midsection but she swung the heavy-looking scale against the lion’s snout. He fell back with an irritated growl while the Lady parried the scorpion’s tail with her sword. Sparks flew like diamonds and the crowd fell into a hush.
Leo swiped with his paw and the Lady blocked it with the scale and then kicked him across the maw. The lion snarled, and taking a
step backward shook its massive head like a dog wringing water from its coat.
The Lady raised her sword once more above her head. “Let us not fight each other, siblings. We are not each other’s enemies!”
Scorpio lashed out with one of her pincers and the Lady did a cartwheel in midair, spinning over the scorpion’s shell, coming to a graceful land, her feet clapping against the arena floor like righteous thunder.
I was suddenly aware of a loud popping Snap! and I felt my body flinging toward the lady as if I’d just been propelled by a giant rubber band.
Oh, snap! I thought, rubbing my behind at the stinging sensation as the Lady caught me in her arms which were starting to glow faintly. I also noticed for the first time that she had one white eye and one black eye. Hmm. Must be a balance thing … She set me down gingerly as Leo rushed at her again, and she crouched, and threw the jungle cat over her shoulder in a textbook judo throw.
The Lady’s legs were also starting to glow when the scorpion charged forward again. I held my breath as the Lady balanced on one leg, deflecting a pincer with a swift kick of her foot.
The crowd hollered in delight.
Then there was another blast of light and the Lady just disappeared. Leaving me standing awkwardly between a pissed off lion and his vengeful scorpion sister.
Snap! Snap!
Simon and Garfunkel didn’t make a sound as they shot toward me, each landing on their respective shoulder pad.
“Why didn’t you guys tell me you were Voltron!”
Simon blushed. “Pretty neat, huh?”
“Let’s keep it our little secret, huh?” Garfunkel said. “We don’t want to get thrown back in a cage.”
“Understandable, but we are so going to have a talk about this,” I said. And then, “So you’re … Libra?”
Garfunkel shook his head. “Gee, what gave it away? The scale?”
“But I don’t understand. How do two dudes transform into Superwoman—”
“Acid!” Simon screamed.
I tucked and rolled as Scorpio flicked her stinger at me, and acid spewed like a hose upon my previous position. Leo turned his attention from me and pounced on Scorpio’s back sending another jet of acid spitting against the arena’s wall, some of it spattering up and over the wall and into the stands.
The excited cries of the crowd turned into screams and … literal crying.
Holy crap, this is quickly getting out of hand! But I needed to escape and not gawk.
“Guys, we can use this distraction to our advantage. You see a way out?”
“I see a rope!” Garfunkel said. “See the wall where the acid just got sprayed?”
I located it, my battle-trained eyes finding a series of grooves and notches in the stone eaten away by the acid. Next to it a rope dangled downward. At the top of it, in the stands was … Lucy.
What the hell was she doing here …?
“Think you can climb it?”
“Totally. Simon, close your eyes.”
And that’s when gates around the stadium started jerking upward as beast tamers in leather armor, gloves and helmets burst into the arena with flamethrowers, spearguns, portable miniguns and handheld grenade launchers.
“UH FOLKS … DON’T PANIC … AND … UH … NOW THE EXCITING FINALE TO OUR SHOW! SUDDEN DEATH!”
I climbed the arena wall without looking back as flames whooshed and grenades exploded at our backs. And I was almost to the top when I noticed the back of my dress was on fire. Kameno tost! I barreled over the wall and stopped, dropped and rolled before the astonished eyes of the nearest spectators rushing for the exits.
What? Hadn’t they ever seen a girl on fire before?
Lucy was nowhere to be seen.
“PLEASE DON’T PANIC,” the announcer was saying.
People panicked.
Both in the stands and on the arena floor as the jumbotron showed the scorpion showering its attackers with tail acid as it took a real beating. Some of the beast tamers rolled on the ground, others clutched at their eyes or where there used to be skin on their chest and arms. One by one Scorpio was turning them into walking skeletons. And when it wasn’t busy spraying them with acid, it was scuttling sideways, its stinger spewing acid over the wall and onto the furious and screaming-for-their-lives fans.
The lion seemed content to swat at the beast tamers like a cat playing with mice, its hide deflecting most of the damage.
“That was too close,” Simon kept repeating like some trauma victim. I didn’t tell him that I was the one who had been burned. Well, me, and Garfunkel, it seemed.
Garfunkel glared up at me with fire in his eyes (figuratively) as well as in his poofy hair (literally). I extinguished it with the palm of my hand, thinking that he looked a bit like a crazed serial killer with his scorched afro and clenched fists.
Fleeing spectators bumped into me as they made for the exit. I turned back and faced the Arena down below, trying to pinpoint the beast gate where Orion probably still lay in the Pit.
“What are you doing, Theo?” Simon said. “We’ve got to get out of here. The place is literally falling apart.”
“I can’t just leave Orion. I’m going back.”
“Yeah!” Garfunkel said. “We need to get back down there, steal a flamethrower and fry those assholes!”
“Get her!” a rough voice called out from the side.
I turned as a group of beast tamers pushed toward me through the crowd.
Simon gasped. “They’re behind us too!”
Sure enough, a second group of beast tamers was closing in at my backside.
“We can take em!” Garfunkel said, pausing as one of the beast tamers hefted a grenade launcher at us. “On second thought …”
Simon tugged on my hair. “If we die, who’s going to save Orion?”
I sighed. I didn’t like it, but Simon was right.
With a final glance at the arena, I spun and melted into the crowd rushing toward the exit.
“Revenge is Best Served Cold—Like Ice Cream”
I inhaled the heady aroma of myrrh and rose incense as I stepped inside my employer’s mansion. Gan led me to the drawing room where my patron stood, a gloved hand fondling the head of a gilded statue of Pegasus. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful piece of art, but maybe it was because I had a newfound respect for mythical creatures and Others.
Maybe I was getting too soft.
My patron stood with his back to me. “The mission went off without a hitch?”
“Not exactly. I lost my partner.”
“Oh? I’m sorry to hear that.” He frowned, or rather, I felt him frown. He didn’t turn to face me. “I’m sure it wasn’t your fault.”
I didn’t say anything.
“I can’t say I’m too surprised. Orion did fail his test, you know.”
My eyes narrowed as I thought back to the test AKA the nightmare-in-a-book Orion and I faced here in this very room only days ago.
“Failed?” I asked, my face stretching taut, my hands clenching involuntarily.
My employer waved dismissively at the spot on the floor where Orion had woken up. “Orion didn’t even make it to the final boss. He’d have drowned in the nightmare realm had I not ended his test prematurely.”
I glared at him. “And you’d have let him?”
“If neither of you passed, then we would not be having this discussion. Don’t be so naïve as to think you two were the first to take me up on my offer. I had to make sure I had the right person for the job.”
I’m not quite sure how I was able to hold my tongue. I didn’t want to. I wanted to stab this prick. Maybe give him a swift chop with the axe.
“Now,” he said, changing the pitch of his voice slightly. “Let me see the artifact.” He cleared his throat and raised a glass to his … face.
At least I assumed he had a face. I still hadn’t seen his face and figured I never would. For all I knew, he wasn’t even a man. He could be a Nopperabou, a Wandjina, or eve
n an illusion cast by some witch. Maybe he wasn’t even real …
Careful, Theo, I reminded myself, trying to get my anger in check. It did no good to get too deep in one’s thoughts. That’s why I needed to keep busy, to keep moving. I needed a mission. A cause.
I opened my padded travel case. Lifted the bundle containing the lava axe and set it on my employer’s desk. I didn’t want to. It had felt so right in my hand down in that arena. And as crazy as it probably sounds, it seemed to be calling to me now. Did I really have to turn it over to this person who’d have had no qualms about watching Orion and me die on his floor?
But a deal was a deal.
“Do you want me to hand it to you?” I asked.
“No.” The word was spoken fast and harsh, with an almost inhuman twang. “Ganymede, bring it to me, will you?”
Ganymede walked the bundle silently over, presenting it with awe, careful not to look upon his master’s face. Had the butler not even been allowed to see my benefactor’s face? Just who was this guy?
My employer accepted the axe. Turned it over in his hands. “You used it.”
It wasn’t a question. And there was something in the voice, not disapproval, but something close to it.
“Remember the ‘hitches’ we talked about?”
His head (was it a head?) bobbed once.
“Does this …” I cleared my voice. “Change things?”
A pause. Longer than I liked. How the hell did he know I used it?
“No.”
There was no, and then there was no. I suspected this was the latter, and was starting to second-guess my decision to tell Simon and Garfunkel to stay in their warded shoulder pad homes. But I couldn’t trust my employer. If he laid eyes on my familiars, he might want to procure them—or imprison them. And besides, I didn’t need their whiny voices interfering with my negotiations. Who wanted a goody-good angel or pompous devil whispering into your ear when you were dealing with a man who quite possibly didn’t have a face?
My patron dropped his displeasure, but his next words came almost begrudgingly. At least they were businesslike.
Axes and Angels: A Snarky Urban Fantasy Novel (Better Demons Series Book 1) Page 20
