“Here’s the list of items the storage unit renter, like, had on his insurance policy paper. Care to check it out while I work on the image?”
I smirked. “Arachne, you’re the best.”
“Bor-ing,” Garfunkel said. “I want some action. Not to read some stupid paper.”
“Simon,” I said with a tilt of my head. “Care to help?”
I laid out the multi-page list on the desk so that both of us could read the small-print itemized list of hundreds of items. Most were just random old junk, I recognized some gems among them that would fetch quite a price on the black market. An Olivetti typewriter, some vintage Marvel comic books, a Tiffany lamp.
I rolled my eyes at the items. Sure, I had quite the collection of old junk in my apartment a few stories above Arachne’s basement but that stuff was different. Artifacts and reminders of the days when the gods ruled—before social media and other digital entertainment stole everyone’s attention.
“There’s so much junk,” I whined, skipping over the items that had a line drawn through them. Probably just stuff the storage unit owner had already sold.
My mind wandered as I scanned down the list.
I recalled my mother’s funeral and how I’d made attempts at conversation with my father but we mostly grieved alone. We’d agreed to have dinner so I could try to righten things between us, like I’d promised my mother but I’d had to cancel every date I’d scheduled because Arachne kept finding Nyx leads, and I figured saving the world trumped reconciling with my father.
It was just procrastination though, no matter how I spin it in my mind.
I sighed, skipping to the third column of the second page of items.
And as if saving the world from some crazed primordial goddess wasn’t enough to keep me occupied, my partner Orion was still deep under the influence of a formula containing essences of the Seven Deadly Sins which had severely messed up his personality.
How messed up? Well, he’d tried to kill me on two separate occasions. And even though Typhon had said its effects would wear off … well, it’d almost been a fortnight.
The scientists who’d worked on the formula had all died when the Zeus gang attacked Typhon’s compound, and the formula was magic and unstable, so we were kinda on our own with figuring out how to undo its effects. So far we’d come up with a big fat nada, but there had to be a way. I wasn’t giving up on my partner—especially not since he was more than my partner.
I think. Ughh. Relationships.
I flipped to the next page.
At least Orion was someplace safe now, and unable to hurt anyone—
“Got it!” both Arachne and Simon shouted in unison, and I nearly toppled off the desk for a second time.
“I know the item Nyx is looking for,” Simon said.
But I didn’t hear Simon as my eyes focused on the image on the screen.
“Damn, not the butler,” Garfunkel said, a sneer starting to form on his face. “Someone even better …”
Simon glanced up and swallowed. “Oh dear, not again.”
“Crap,” I said.
Arachne had cleaned up the poorly lit image enough to reveal the four-armed contour of a female Indian goddess bodyguard.
My ex-partner. Lucy.
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About the Author
Author Bios:
When Matthew Herrmann isn’t writing UF, he’s often researching and wrangling mythical creatures to showcase in his next story. When he's not doing that, he's probably trying not to kill himself on his mountain bike outside.
He also bakes a mean biscotti.
—————
Ramy Vance is the creator of the GoneGod World. Currently, Ramy lives in Edinburgh with his wife, demonic baby, monstrous 5-year old and imaginary dog.
Terrified, he pretty much stays in his office and writes.
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Axes and Angels: A Snarky Urban Fantasy Novel (Better Demons Series Book 1) Page 59
