“At first, I couldn’t process anything that had happened.” I wiped my nose on my shirt. “Doing that felt too much like accepting that it was real, that everything about my life had changed. So I didn’t.” I touched my chest. “But today I woke up, and for the first time in a long time, I’m remembering not only the people that I’ve lost but the parts of myself that I’ve lost, too. And I don’t know if those are parts I’m ever getting back… but I want to.”
Finn’s eyes widened, hope peeking out at the corners. Though he’d pulled back, he still gripped the hook of my elbow. Part of me I wanted to throttle was surprised to find I didn’t want him to let me go. He drew a deep breath and tugged on the silver hoop looped through his eyebrow.
“I was once betrayed by someone I loved deeply,” he said pensively. “I thought I knew him. I thought I knew his soul. But when I realized what he’d done and what his decisions had cost me, I broke. Then I spent seventeen years in hibernation to avoid dealing with both how I felt about him and about what I’d done to the people who were counting on me.”
Leaves crunched and we both swiveled as a rabbit crept from beneath a bush, its long ears raised and alert.
“Zara, I’m done letting down the people I care about.” His grip on my arm tightened. “You might not think the best of me right now, but I’m still your friend. Even if you decide at the end of all this… that you can’t forgive me for what I’ve done… if you decide that I’m not someone you want in your life anymore, know that I will still be there for you, no matter what.”
He swallowed, his brow furrowing then clearing. “I messed up. A lot. That’s a weight I will bear for the rest of my life. But I hope you’ll give me the chance to prove that I’ve changed, that I’m a better version of what I was.”
I stared into the dark, my thoughts quiet for once.
I surprised us both when I reached for him as he stood, and tugged him back down.
“I’m not ready to forgive you yet,” I said. “But I don’t think I’m angry anymore.”
It was the truth.
Finn admitted to changing. Maybe I was, too.
“Will you stay here a little longer?” I asked. “And sit with me? Before things get crazy again?”
His eyes flicked between mine. “I think I can do that.”
We didn’t touch again, but neither did we sit apart, floating in this strange newness of companionable silence. As I leaned against the railing with my arms pressed tight against me, I realized that gaping wound in my chest—the one that refused to heal—was lined with stitches.
Chapter 6
When I finally went inside after spending an hour with Finn, I didn’t sleep.
I, instead, closed my eyes and rolled so I faced the wall when the pixies stumbled back to our cabin, smiling at their loud shushes in an attempt to cover their drunken giggles. Beds creaked as the girls fell into them followed by the thuds of boots hitting the floor.
The hair on the back of my neck prickled, fully aware that Rose hovered by the edge of my mattress like she did every night. And, like every other night, she lightly traced a rune for protection on my shoulder, right beneath my elemental brands, before slipping into her own bed across from mine.
An hour passed.
Then another slipped by.
Once I was convinced the pixies were well and truly asleep, I slipped from beneath the covers fully dressed. I dropped my feet into my shoes, not bothering to lace them, and slipped my packed bag over my shoulder. I didn’t have much, but I had more than I did when the Order blew up my house.
“Promedis ad.” Rose’s quiet warning froze me at the open door, my hand on the knob. It was pixie slang for ‘at your ready’, a motto the horde slung at each other all the time. Of course she wasn’t asleep. Of course she knew I was up to something. I’d never slipped by her before, her awareness of me bordering on uncanny. I bet she’d known Finn was waiting earlier, too.
I shook my head but pulled my magic to my fingertips all the same as I closed the door. I tested my abilities as I crossed the compound, sensing signatures of people nearby using the water magic. Nearly everyone was tucked behind thick walls, asleep in their beds. Everyone except for three.
Ryder’s bed was empty in the cabin he shared with Finn. I scanned the skies, knowing he got as little sleep as I did, but I didn’t want to run into him as I skirted past the coals from the bonfire. Beside the main structure was a fourth and smaller cabin with one occupant who was busily moving around. I rapped on the door, the sound like gunshots in the night. Joseph’s easy smile greeted me when he opened it.
“I’d wondered if you’d grace my doorstep.”
“And skip our last study session? Hardly.” I shouldered past him and dropped to my usual spot on the edge of his twin bed. He hovered in the doorway scanning the grove, then stepped back.
“No escort tonight?” he asked as he settled into his desk chair, the one with a broken back support and a ripped seat cushion. “I thought you weren’t able to ditch your shadows.”
“You’re actually not the first person to say that tonight.” I smoothed a hand over the blue, patchwork quilt. It was a gorgeous piece that Joseph had mentioned being passed down several generations. When his parents had died in a car crash when he was five, he’d inherited it.
Joseph kicked his heels on his desk and leaned back, the chair groaning in protest. “Do tell.”
“Finn and Ryder both said something,” I said. “But that’s not why I came by tonight.”
“You’d rather study instead?” He waved a hand at the four walls filled with books. Hundreds upon hundreds of spines, some etched with titles in elegant scripts while others lacked any telling features whatsoever, begged to be read.
Shortly after arriving, I’d inventoried his selection, marveling over the fact that one wall was devoted entirely to material about the Gods. Everything from myths and legends to recent copies of The Word—a text devoted to the teachings of the original Gods. There were even binders filled with news clippings including the fall of the temples to Geoffrey’s rise to pictures of my grand entrance in Kansas City.
Like me, Joseph hadn’t been raised in a temple. The City Among the Clouds was razed in the same series of attacks that destroyed mine, yet he knew so much about our world and its magic that he might as well have been raised in a temple. He put my distinct lack of education to shame, but he’d eagerly worked to rectify that by putting titles in my hands and quizzing me on what I’d learned.
“Anyone home in that head of yours?” Joseph teased. He nudged his glasses up, his almond-shaped eyes dark behind the lenses. The frames immediately slid down and stopped at the hitch in his nose where he’d broken it twice.
“Do you remember when I asked you to teach me what you knew?” I asked. My fingers twined in the rope holding the top of my bag together, the course material pricking at my skin as the contents inside burned to be released.
He cleared his throat. “I asked you what you hoped to find.”
“Do you remember my answer?”
Joseph’s feet slid off the desk with a thump. “The truth.”
I unraveled the knot and dipped into the bag. The metal case at the top burned as I pulled it out, as if unwilling to part from me. In the shadows at the back of my mind and in the core of my belly, darkness uncurled. Kaleal’s ghostly fingers clenched tight around the base of my spine, warning me against what I was about to do. With effort, I pushed her back and held out the box, relief sweeping over me when he took it.
He didn’t say anything at first, taking in the ornate script carefully chiseled in the lid. He slowly peeled it open and removed the artifact tucked inside. With an intrigued sniff he eagerly traced the cover of the book.
“How do you have this?” he whispered, lifting one page by its gold-dusted edge. I could practically see through the paper it was so thin. “I didn’t think there were any left outside of Order headquarters.”
“Finn found it for me.” I closed
my eyes against the words, remembering how much the kelpie had done for me, remembering the extent of what he’d done to protect me, to bring me to this place. “I don’t know how he knew where to find an original copy of The Word, but he assures me it’s real.”
His eyes shimmered when he finally looked up from its beauty. “You realize that this might carry information that human eyes haven’t seen for thousands and thousands of years? We already know the Order changes things from print to print.” He lifted a different copy of The Word from his desk and shook it. “This copy from two-hundred years ago has discrepancies from the newer versions from this past decade. It’s… I can’t even imagine how much has changed from the original text over time.”
He reverently rubbed the title. “And you’re giving it to me?”
“Yes.” My jaw worked around the word, not realizing until now how difficult it was to actually part with so special of a gift. But I had to, I needed answers about our history. Specifically, I needed answers about Kaleal, and the text I’d given him was supposedly an account right from their mouths.
Joseph took in every expression that crossed my face, his frown growing.
“It’s written in a dead fey language,” I said with a shrug. “If anyone can crack the code, it’s you.”
“I’m honored in your faith in me, but Zara…” He waited for me to look up from my clenched hands. “I’m only borrowing this. Ok? And the second I have it figured out, it’s yours again.”
I nodded, not trusting my voice as he rushed to pack it with his other things. I’d talked him out of bringing any of his books with him, telling him that he needed to experience the world and stop hiding behind paper and ink. Turns out he’d bring one. Possibly the most valuable one of all.
“Before I dig into it though, what do you hope to find?”
One of his favorite questions, one rife with curiosity.
I longed to tell him about Kaleal, to pick his brain and see if he knew anything about other Gods being possessed before. I wanted to ask him to help me figure out how to beat her, but the tightness in my throat made that impossible.
“I’ll know it when I see it,” I hedged.
Chapter 7
A bag smacked my shins and I shielded my eyes against shards of sunshine splintering the foggy dawn haze. Past the pixie with her hands braced on her hips, the totem poles keeping silent watch over our campground loomed high over the pine trees.
“Was that necessary?” I asked Rose, bleary with sleep.
“You didn’t sleep at all, yeah?” she drawled, jabbing my thigh with the point of her boot.
“I plead the fifth.”
“You’re lucky we’re still in the States and that still applies.” She flopped beside me, her back to the airplane that had touched down in the grassy plain about an hour ago. “Did you get your situation resolved, at least?”
I grunted, returning to the newer copy of The Word open in my lap. I’d dog-eared the pages about Kaleal a few hours ago while waiting at the rendezvous point, then had fallen asleep while meticulously picking through the passages. “Which situation are we talking about here?”
“There’s more than one situation, now? Busy girl.” She whistled through her teeth as Finn crested the hill. He rubbed his knee as he scanned the clearing, his gaze lingering on Joseph who was slouched on the steps leading into the private aircraft, pouring over the book I’d given him.
I rolled the sleeves of my black and white flannel shirt to my elbows. “I’ll cop to two.”
The pixie smacked my shoulder. “You keep telling yourself that, yeah?”
A rusty laugh slipped out of me, and she answered it with one of her own. Ryder shot me a look from where he chatted up the blue-haired pilot beside Joseph. A couple of duffel bags crowded the ground at his feet. Even thirty yards away it was impossible to miss the heat in his golden irises.
“That boy there makes at least six situations,” Rose said out of the corner of her mouth as we stood. I closed the book, giving up on it until we were thirty-five thousand feet in the air. The pixie flashed a few hand signs to her half dozen mates who silently surrounded us as we congregated around the door.
Ryder nodded to the pilot who lifted a hand to all of us before stepping inside.
“Who’s he?” Rose asked, palming a knife.
“You can call him Steve.” Ryder mussed his purple-tinted locks with a rough hand. The pixies chortled. “He’s been my personal pilot for the better part of the decade, and I trust him explicitly. He’s helped me on a number of jobs. He’s also helped clean up my messes. Steve is very well acquainted with what happens to those who break my trust.”
The incubus flashed his teeth, and again I wondered exactly what kind of life Ryder led before he’d roped himself into my impossible mission.
Joseph leaned into me. “Remember what I said about that mob boss thing?”
I gnawed on a thumbnail, eyes narrowed.
“This plane is one from my private collection,” he continued, ignoring us all. Collection. As in more than one. My eyes narrowed so tightly they bordered on closing. My head was starting to hurt. “I’ve personally checked it over and can assure you it hasn’t been tampered with in any way, shape, or form. The Order doesn’t even know these planes exist. We have plenty of fuel and won’t need to stop anywhere else before arriving in Cairo.” He clapped his hands once. “Any questions?”
“Who’s hosting us again?” piped up one of the pixies who had a pinched quality to her face that spoke of too much stress and not enough sleep.
We’d run through all this a few days ago—but apparently, someone hadn’t been listening.
Ryder preened. “Thanks to my vast and wondrous connections, I’ve tracked down a group of fey who are rogue from the Order. They swear their allegiances to the God of Earth, and they want that being restored. Make no mistake, that’s the only reason they’re helping us. Be on your guard. Do not think of them as allies, because they aren’t.”
He paused to let that sink in.
“These fey are called nero, a very powerful lineage with roots in sand magic. Not only are they powerful, but they’re connected, and they use those connections to stay hidden. Very little is known about what they can do, only that you would rather not see them do it.” Ryder tucked his hands in his slacks with a half-hearted shrug.
“We can still take ‘em,” Rose called, tapping the whip of thorns wrapped around her waist as her horde cheered. “Strength of will trumps magic.” She gave me a long look and amended, “—most of the time.”
Ryder mounted the first step of the plane, gesturing for everyone to quiet down. “I’m getting to the best part. These fey are some of the few who can locate the Lost City, otherwise known as the Earth Temple. Without them, there’s no finding the missing God. Without that God, we can’t stop nuclear destruction. So please play nice.”
“Why’s it called the Lost Temple?” the same pixie as earlier asked.
“Because it’s just that,” Ryder said, his tone taking on the spooky quality of a ghost story narrator. I half expected him to wiggle his fingers mysteriously. “Lost.”
“The Lost City can only be found by those who’ve been there before,” Joseph chimed in, ignoring Ryder’s irritated huff. “It was difficult enough to find before the attacks on the temples, and it all but faded from existence in the aftermath. So we’ll need to win them over.”
The incubus threw his arms wide. “Absolutely. Any other questions? No? Then find a seat, we’re on a tight schedule.” He disappeared into the relative darkness of the plane. Finn and the pixies followed while I waited with the God of Air. He waved cheerily at his family members who’d clustered at the edge of the clearing, before mounting the stairs.
“It’s ok to admit that you’ll miss them,” I said, patting his back. “I miss them and I barely know them. You’ve never not been around them.”
The air conditioning sent his hair fanning out behind him, and he wrapped an arm around my
waist when I joined him inside.
“Not true,” he said and tweaked my nose. “I had an overnight camping trip about six years ago. I left them then.”
I snorted. “Hardly the same thing and you know it.”
“Oh, it was pretty traumatizing I’ll have you know. Didn’t sleep a wink. Cried into my pillow. It was awful. The other boys taunted me for years afterward.” He mock-shuddered and turned to toss his bag in the overhead rack.
Taking advantage of his distraction, I snatched a seat beside a window. As I situated my stuff between my leg and the shell of the plane, Joseph took his seat beside me. When I turned to ask him about his early thoughts regarding The Word, I jerked when I found Ryder’s lazy grin leering back at me.
“You’re not Joseph,” I said.
“Nothing gets by you, does it?” Ryder squeezed my knee. The man in question remained in the aisle, awkward in his height. He blinked and took the spot directly behind me.
“I didn’t think you’d complain, considering I’m the better looking of us. Not to mention the strongest, the one with more career options and financial—ow.” The incubus yelped as Joseph smacked him over the head. He scoffed, “That was unnecessary. And rude. Plus, you hit like a girl.” Joseph squawked and Ryder caught his hand as he drew back for another swat. “Slap me again and you lose it,” he threatened. Joseph gritted his teeth when Ryder squeezed.
Finn clicked his tongue as he sank into the plush seat beside Joseph. “Now children, how about we try to get along before mommy’s driven to drink.”
“Wait, who’s mommy in this twisted scenario?” I asked. “I’m not volunteering.”
“But if you’re mommy, that means I can be daddy,” Ryder snarked, his smile stretching impossibly wide as his hand found my knee again. This time I swatted him, refusing to acknowledge the weird fluttering in my chest. “Though you can call me that anytime you want, honey.”
I folded my arms. “You’re gross.”
The incubus pressed his twined hands to his chest, swooning. “Save that talk for later, dearest.”
Fan the Flame Page 4
