“Thanks for the tip, coming from a woman who is what…three months younger than me? And what does that make you?”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m still younger,” she declared.
They stood inches apart, eyes locked. His warm hand wasn’t budging from her side. Part of her, charged with a few sips of wine, wanted to tiptoe up and kiss him, but her chicken-sensible-side hesitated.
He smiled as if he heard her inner struggle. He moved his hand from her waist, turned off the light and grabbed her free hand to lead them back down the steps. They ambled down a hallway, toward a guest bedroom, and two bathrooms and finally stopped at his bedroom door.
He cleared his throat.
“And last but not least, my room.”
It looked like a typical men’s bedroom. Bed, TV, nightstand with books piled up and several remote controls, no pictures on the wall, no frills. It was in this room the gloriously Sam smell was the strongest.
Kirin stood inside the doorway, leaned against the wall with her eyes closed inhaling the manly scent, while Sam talked of renovations. After a moment, he stopped talking.
When she opened her eyes he stood on the other side of the room, arms crossed, watching her. He looked both curious and amused.
“What’re you doin’?” His lips were upturned with one eyebrow cocked.
She straightened and smoothed down the imaginary crinkles in her skirt, not wanting to look him in the eye and answered, “Nothing. Dinner smells good.”
Busted.
“Uh-huh …” he answered into his wine and walked past her into the front room, grabbing her hand as he passed.
She followed him and sat down on one of the plush couches. She assumed he’d sit on the other couch, but he plopped down hard right next to her. She squealed and bobbled her wine glass, narrowly catching it before it ended up on the floor.
“Sorry,” he said, not sounding one bit sorry.
“It’s fine, you startled me, that’s all.”
Truth was, she wanted him closer. This whole damn cabin had the intoxicating smell of him. She was a fly in the spider’s web, but somehow it was a web she craved to be in.
Her mind fuzzed, and the wine wasn’t helping. She needed to focus. Answers, that’s why she was here, answers. Kirin placed her wine glass on the coffee table to stop gulping it and turned to face him. Lord, he sat close. Too close. His woodsy smell was more intoxicating than the wine.
Sam stared into her eyes and into her soul for a beat, then gazed out to the front porch. From his scrunched-up expression, he wrestled with something. She crossed her arms to stop herself from putting a hand on his shoulder. She was in danger if she touched him.
“What is it?”
Sam took a deep breath. “I’m trying to figure out what to say.”
“About what?”
“This …” he gestured at the tiny space between them, “… and your dad.”
Answers. Kirin scooted to the edge of the couch, touching shoulders with him. “What about my dad?”
Sam sat back on the couch and rubbed his hands together. Glancing over at her, she noticed his eyes and the sad look they carried. “Your dad was … kind to me. Family, when I pretty much had none. He mentored a reckless kid, trying to convince me to get out of the business. I was young, broke and ignorant. The money was more than I’d ever seen. His message about money not being important and finding true meaning in life never hit home … until now.”
It made her green with envy her father had taken the time to get to know Sam, gave him advice and even cared for him. Why couldn’t he have done the same for her? She picked up her wine glass again and gulped.
He took a breath. “I have a clear picture of what I want.” His eyes locked on hers, Kirin swallowed hard, again.
Sam rubbed his hands through his hair. It bounced right back into messy waves of blonde and brown before he continued. “I need you to know things about me and about your dad. But I’m afraid of how you’ll take it.”
He took a long sip of his wine. He was about to spill answers to some of her looming questions. Maybe the conversation would segue into his true feelings for her.
Shut. Up. Wine.
“Go ahead,” she prodded, “What do you have to lose?”
He said, “Kirin, I —”
The timer on the potatoes screeched across the kitchen.
“Crap!” he jumped over the back of the couch, “I’m never gonna get this out. Stay put, I’ll be right back.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” she called over her shoulder, sarcastically.
This would give her a moment to gather her strength and her thoughts. Stay strong. Find out about her father, the book, and the men in the black suits. Nothing personal.
Through the divided rooms, she watched as he pulled the potatoes out of the oven and covered them to keep them warm.
Kirin gulped the last of her wine and poured another half glass. He walked back around and sat on the couch next to her, staring out the window.
“Where was I?”
“You were going to tell me something and you were dragging your feet.”
Kirin placed her wine back on the table as Sam narrowed his eyes, with a slight grin.
He exhaled deep, then started again. “I’m not proud of things I’ve done, and not everything was legal.” Sam winced, looking at her for a reaction. She nodded for him to continue. “Your dad, well, he was the money guy, but pretty much kept his nose clean, at least in the public eye.” Sam turned toward Kirin, “I want you to know, I never killed anyone. That wasn’t my job.”
“What was your job?”
Sam shook his head. “I wasn’t a thug, and I didn’t intimidate anybody if that’s what you’re asking. A lot of guys I knew were forced into that work, though. Young guys. Your dad wasn’t either, it’s one of the reasons we bonded.”
She wanted to know more, but the heat in his eyes suddenly turned up a notch.
“You’re the first woman I’ve ever brought here.” Sam scooted closer and took her hand. “The first woman I’ve been remotely interested in … well ever, it feels like. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, and I can’t do anything but think about you.”
He searched her face, then continued. “I’m sure this seems sudden to you, but like I said, I know you. I’ve been protecting you for two years.”
He paused for a second, taking another sip of courage. “I’ve fallen in love with you, Kirin, which is something as your protector, I should never do. But I can’t help it.”
Involuntarily, she smiled. She tried not to, but it was as if her mouth had a mind of its own. She couldn’t even think of anything to say, because it all sounded crazy. She wanted to say she loved him too. And that she’d follow him anywhere and her world felt so safe when he was around.
But even in her tipsy state, Kirin knew he’d changed the subject, abruptly. She needed answers and that was the most important item on the night’s agenda.
He stared, waiting for a reply. Kirin took a deep breath and when she found courage, she spoke again. “So, as my protector, wouldn’t it make more sense to tell me about these people that are after me? And why they want the book?”
His smile faded as he shook his head. “No, it wouldn’t. The less you know about that world, the safer you are Kirin.”
She protested, “Hear me out. If you prepare me, I wouldn’t feel so helpless and who knows, maybe I could help.”
He scooted back on the couch with a scowl on his face and growled. “Don’t even think about it. The least helpful thing for you to do right now is go snooping around and try to be the hero. It’s too dangerous. Let me handle it. I think I can get you out of this without harm.”
“What danger would I be in, Sam? I’ve already found out some of the clues of the book and I’ll damn sure find the rest.”
He scooted to the edge of the couch, red faced and angry eyed.
“What danger? Are you serious? Up until now I’ve convinced them you don’t give a s
hit about that book. They think you have no idea what it holds, nor do you care. That’s why they’ve let you live. They believe you hated your dad so much, you’ve got no desire to find out the truth. And the last thing you’d want to do is try and stop The Club.”
Her eyes perked up. The Club? Now they were getting somewhere. His eyes narrowed again at the excited look on her face. He rose quickly and yelled. “I just poured out my feelings for you! You didn’t come here for me, you came here to weasel information out of me, didn’t you? All dressed up, pretending … just to get answers. I’ve busted my ass endangering my life to protect yours.”
Sam paced around the room flailing his arms as he continued. “You’re gonna get us both killed searching for something you can’t do anything about. This club is unstoppable and runs so much deeper than you know.”
Sam picked up glasses, cleaning up as if the date was over.
“What an idiot. I convinced myself you felt something. That your offer for a real date stemmed from your feelings and not that stupid book.”
He stopped moving and glared at her for a long moment, giving her time. Time to deny it, or time to admit it, but she couldn’t make herself say a word.
“I think you should leave,” he growled, his voice cracked as he turned toward the kitchen, his body rigid and angry.
Kirin shouted the only word she could— “Stop!”
Sam slammed down the wine glasses, crossed his arms defensively and froze. His face was red, and double pissed. Angrier even than when she’d accidentally pummeled him with tomatoes.
She swallowed hard then crept toward him as if she was trying to pet a wild deer. Kirin stared deep into his eyes, then whispered, “You haven’t given me time to respond.”
Her thoughts were so muddy. She loved this man, of that she was sure. She came here for answers, that part was true, but maybe she came to discover his true feelings about her, too. He’d told her was in love with her. So, why was she hesitating? Her knees trembled with each step.
Trusting and loving someone were two sides of the same coin. What if she surrendered and it was all a trap? Inside this house, with its aromas and the electricity she felt next to him, she wouldn’t be able to stop herself. Kirin crept closer. He didn’t flinch. He stood rigid, arms folded, and angry.
It was then, she decided.
She stopped directly in front of him. He glared down at her. She unfolded his tightly held arms, stepped in, raised her hands to his face, and kissed him.
Kirin kissed him with her entire body. A hungry kiss like she’d kissed no one before.
His arms, stiff and unyielding at first, wrapped around her as he let go, kissing her back. Deeply exploring. His mouth, warm and full of tenderness at first, switched on a dime to heated desire. Pressing her body hard into his, she wanted him as much as she could feel he wanted her. All the questions pushed aside, all she could wrap her head around was the love she felt for this man as his warm body pressed against hers.
She didn’t care about breathing or crusty old books or danger or anything as Sam picked her up and wrapped her legs around his waist. She barely registered the sound of her shoes clunking onto the wood floor.
Sam carried her, trailing kisses down her throat and gently laying her on his down-filled comforter atop his bed. The last bits of fading sun glowed through the window, warming her hot skin, making it even hotter. Hovering over her, Sam placed warm, wet kisses behind her ear as she wriggled to pull her sweater off. Raising up, he smiled, pulled off his shirt and helped with her sweater. He didn’t miss a beat as he unbuttoned her shirt kissing his way from her neck to her belly button.
Kirin gut-laughed when he got to her belly button. Sam glanced up at her, raising an eyebrow, smirking.
“Shut up.”
A low chuckle rumbled up from him as he stood, pulled off his jeans and her skirt. He took his sweet time kissing her up from her toes back to her neck. She wanted him so badly, but alarms were going off in the back of her head. This wasn’t her. She was a good girl and didn’t do this on a first date. But, it all boiled down to trust. Did she trust him? Her body involuntarily tensed.
Sam stopped and stared deep into her eyes.
“We don’t have to do this now.”
She couldn’t help herself. “I want you. All of you. But I need to know you’re on my side … and not theirs.” There, she finally said it.
He smiled down. “Yours. Always yours, until the end of time.”
That was her undoing. The rest of their clothes seemed to fall on the floor by themselves. She’d never been with anyone besides her husband. But Sam made her feel so at ease. He’d brought her to the brink repeatedly and when they each finally broke, she lay there exhausted and happy.
This was right and perfect and exactly where she was supposed to be: in his arms, in his bed, and in his life. She was sure of it. He’d never stop protecting her. She’d known it the first time they met and ever since. Lying next to him on her side, she pushed up with her toes and kissed him on the cheek. She couldn’t say it yet, but she knew she loved him. This man who’d risk his life to save hers.
“You awake?” she whispered in the dark.
“I am now,” he teased.
She poked him in the side. “I want to tell you something serious.”
“You have a belly button fetish?” he said, he wrapped his arms around her tight. His face was serious except a slight grin with one eyebrow raised.
“What? No … shut up.”
“Admitting it is the first step, you know.”
Kirin jabbed a finger in his ribs. “I’m serious!”
“Okay, serious. What?”
Kirin took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I want you to know that I’m not…well, you’re only the second person I’ve slept with ever. The first was my husband. I was kind of a late bloomer.”
Her face flushed hot.
His chest rumbled low as a laugh escaped.
“What’s so funny?”
“It’s just you’re pretty good at it to not have had practice in a while, that’s all.”
Kirin pushed up and kissed him. “I can’t believe we did this on our first date. And I’m sorry.”
Sam stilled and raised his head. “For what?”
“You were right.”
“Can I get that in writing? And I’m always right, but about what specifically?” he kissed her forehead and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.
“About coming over here to get answers … that was my intention. But only because I convinced myself that I was only a paycheck to you. I didn’t understand how you could work for them and still protect me. And I guess I was scared. I needed to know where your loyalties lay.”
With no hesitation Sam said, “My loyalty is to you. It’s always been you, nobody else. I still play double agent, so I can find out when they’re going to strike. And because it’s not like quitting a job. People don’t quit The Club. As they say, the only way out is in a casket.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’ve got an ace in the hole. I hope it'll work.”
Sam stared out his window. Kirin decided not to push any harder. He’d opened up more than ever, but she didn’t want him to close back down.
The smell of burnt chicken alongside the shrill scream of the smoke alarm startled them both into action. Throwing on sweats, Sam ran for the broom to get the smoke away from the detector, while Kirin dressed and grabbed potholders to pull the black chicken out of the oven.
Sam with no shirt and Kirin wearing only his white button-down, cleaned up and put a pizza in the oven. They sat in the kitchen holding hands across the table, surrounded by candlelight.
Sam looked around his kitchen shaking his head. “Sorry about dinner.”
“You're lucky I like pizza,” she said smiling.
“Kirin,” he said, “promise me something?”
“Sure.”
“Promise me you won’t go anywhere this weekend wh
ile I'm gone, okay?”
Crap. She’d already made plans to meet Kidd in Atlanta. She answered his question with a question. “Why?”
“Because I don’t want to worry about you.”
She hated to start their relationship lying to him, but she had to meet Kidd.
“Sure,” she replied quick and too high pitched, but he didn’t seem to notice. “Now, can I ask you something?”
“Anything,” he whispered.
“Can you please help me understand why this book is so important?”
His smile faded fast. He stood and walked to the sink to refill his water. Staring out the kitchen window he said, “Anything but that.”
Kirin walked to him and wrapped her arms around him from behind.
“If I know what I’m up against, I can better defend myself.”
He turned to face her. “This isn’t a game of softball, Kirin. These men are killers. Once the boss gives them the greenlight, they will kill to get what he wants.”
He let the silence scare her for a minute and then added, “Besides, I’m hoping this weekend will solve all of that.”
“Where are you going?” Kirin said, stepping back away from him, “not to LA? Surely you’re not that crazy?”
He leaned against the sink sipping his water. A sweet smile washed over his face.
“You, worried about me? Well, that’s a switch.” Sam pulled Kirin in and squeezed her tight.
Her mind raced. What if they discovered she knew more than he’d told them? And what if they discovered she wasn’t only a job, but more? She couldn’t think about that now. Another question burned in her mind.
“Can I ask one more?” she said, pulling back and looking up at him.
He narrowed his eyes and answered, “Depends.”
“Can you tell me something good about my father? I feel as if I know so little about him and most of it’s bad.”
Sam pulled her chin up, so their eyes met and smiled.
“He was a good man, Kirin.” Kirin shook her head. That was hard to imagine.
“He was,” he pleaded. “Much better than any of the rest of us. God, could he talk.” Sam laughed and rubbed his face. “He could talk the paint off walls. Used to bug the shit out of me when I was younger, but I miss it now.”
Entangling: Book One of the Kirin Lane Series Page 17
