by Cathryn Fox
“What is that supposed to mean?” I shout back.
“You have insecurities that stem from your childhood too, Cason. You’re so afraid of getting hurt, you push others away before they can push you away.” A long pause and then, “That’s why you’re so quick to believe the worst of me. Just for the record, my father is completely wrong about you. You’re a good man.”
I stand there staring, her words banging around inside my rattled brain.
“One more thing Cason. We don’t have a future, I accept that, but you need to take some time, a lot of time, in fact, and work on you. There are people out there that want to love you, and I really hope you can see that, and not let fear drive your actions and push away the next woman who wants to be a part of your life. I want you happy.”
She disappears through the door, closing it quietly behind her. I walk up to it, my heart crashing in my ears as she takes the steps to the walkway. Her father climbs from the car, a shit-eating grin on his face—like he was right about something—and circles it to greet her, but she shakes her head and walks past him, heading toward the downtown core. I have no idea what she’s doing, and I shouldn’t care. I shouldn’t care one damn iota, but how can I not? I’m in love with her yet all this time, she was using me for information.
Does that really make sense, Cason?
But by leaving she was admitting her guilt, right? She didn’t stay and fight to convince me I was wrong. I pace back to my living room, and look out over the water. My boat bobs in the sea and if it wasn’t so damn cold out, I’d sail away and forget the real world existed for a little while. But it does exist and I can’t hide from the harsh realities. Jesus, Londyn and I shared an incredible time together. We had so much, fit so perfectly. Just like we did back in college. Until her father ruined my life.
He didn’t just ruin you, dude.
I shove my phone into my pocket, and needing fresh air I head out the door. I walk aimlessly, pausing by the gazebo where the Christmas movie was filmed. My heart aches a little more as I consider Londyn’s kindness, her joy in helping the students with their costumes.
I take a breath but find it harder and harder to breathe. Eventually I find myself inside a bar, and I sit at the table and nurse a brandy, then another. A group of laughing women enter, and one of the girls makes eye contact with me. I practically snarl at her, even though she doesn’t deserve my anger. Before Londyn, I would have approached any one of those girls, but now, well, now I’m screwed. How can I be with anyone when my heart belongs to Londyn?
I scoff and finish my drink. Maybe I should go take one of them back to my place, maybe that’s the only way to get Londyn out of my system once and for all. My phone rings and my damn heart leaps, hoping it’s Londyn, and shaking my head because of it. I am such a goddamn fool.
I check the screen and a growl crawls out of my throat when I see it’s Roman calling. I think about ignoring it. If I don’t take the call, he’ll worry about me, the way he always does this time of year. We go way back to college and not only is he Hard Wear’s head web developer, he’s one of my closest friends, and he deserves better from me.
“Hey, Roman, what’s up?”
A pause and then, “You okay, buddy?”
“Perfectly fine. How was your holiday?”
Instead of answering, he says, “You sound like you’ve got something on your mind.”
“Just work stuff. New spring designs,” I say, wishing he couldn’t read me so well. “Listen, I was going to call you about Peyton.”
“Is she okay?” he asks, real concern in his voice. I smile at that. At least my buddy has my back and worries about my kid sister as much as I do.
“Yeah, I need a favor.”
“Anything for you, you know that.”
“She needs a pretend husband, as insane as that sounds.” The line goes quiet. Did he hang up on me? “Roman?”
“Uh, what are you talking about?”
“It’s for the teaching job in Malta.”
“Pretty sure I’m not your guy.”
Actually, he’s the perfect choice. Not only is he off women after his fiancée left him, he’d never mess with my kid sister and he’ll keep a close eye on her. As Hard Wear’s head web designer, he can work anywhere for a few weeks.
I’m about to explain when another call comes in. I check the display to see that it’s Peyton. Shit, she should have been in the air by now.
“I’ll call you later and explain. Peyton is calling and I have to take it.”
“Yeah, okay, buddy,” he says, his voice filled with uncertainty.
I take Peyton’s call. “Hey, was your flight delayed? Do you need me to come get you?”
“Where are you?” she barks at me.
I sit up a little straighter. “What the hell, Peyton?”
“I’m at the villa and you’re not here. Where are you?”
“I’m having a drink. I’ll come back right now. Is everything okay?”
“Everything is far from okay,” she says, and I’m already halfway out the door.
“I’ll be right there.” I hang up and practically run through the downtown core. I’m out of breath by the time I open my villa door and find Peyton glaring at me.
“Are you insane?” she asks.
“Yeah, probably, why?” I ask and follow her into the living room.
“I ran into Londyn at the airport. She was a mess.” She pokes a finger in my direction. “And you, my brother, are an idiot.”
“An idiot and insane. This is getting better and better.”
She points to the sofa, and I sit.
“Do you really think she set this all up, Cason? Do you really think she knew you were going to be at the gentleman’s club and went through all this trouble to get information from you?”
“Well, I know how it sounds—”
“Here’s how it sounds. She hurt you once and you were so damn certain she was going to do it again, you just jumped to that conclusion.”
“Her father, the website—”
I scrub my face, and try to put the pieces together but they simply don’t fit.
“Cason,” Peyton says, her voice softer as she sits beside me. “Mistakes were made in the past, and that’s where they need to stay. You two love each other.” I open my mouth, but how can I protest. I do love her. “You have this tendency to push people out before they can push you out.”
I shake my head. “Londyn said something similar, and she told me I needed to work on myself.”
She gives a humorless laugh. “Don’t we all.”
“You say she loves me, but she walked away.”
“Did you ever stop to think why?”
“Because her father...” She shakes her head and my words fall off. My heart sinks to my stomach as I think about my exchange with Londyn. Her father tricked her once, who’s to say he hasn’t tried to do it a second time. No way in hell did I say those things about her back in college, and when I defended myself, she agreed—she believed in me.
You didn’t believe in her, dude.
I exhale, loudly as my rattled brain settles, and the truth seeps in. “She left because I didn’t trust her.” Hell, I wouldn’t even listen to her. “She left because she saw no future if I couldn’t let go of the past.”
“That’s right, big brother.”
I swallow, the world crashing in around me. “I was cruel.”
“You struck out from a place of fear. She knows that.”
“I’m sure she must hate me.” My throat tightens. “I screwed up and ruined everything.”
“Yeah, you did. Now what are you going to do about that?”
“I should call her.”
“You need to do better than that, Cason.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Londyn
IT’S BEEN
ONE MONTH since I’ve been back from Cannes, and Cason has yet to send me my belongings. Not that I care. Everything in that suitcase will simply remind me of him, and my heart is already in pieces as it is. I’ve been working, however. On my own designs, and while my mother calls every day begging me to make amends with my father, that forgiveness will be a long time coming. I still can’t quite wrap my brain around everything that happened, or why my father wants me to fall into the role of the perfect little daughter. Image and stature are important to him, apparently, and that all comes before my happiness—before his wife’s. I see now that my mother might have all the jewels and shiny things, but deep down I’m not sure she’s really happy.
What I truly can’t wrap my brain around though, is that the second half of Cason’s payment landed in my bank account shortly after I returned home. Why would he pay me? He still thinks my father’s businesses are in jeopardy, and putting those funds into my hands only helps a man who has done nothing but try to destroy Cason. I guess that just goes to show Cason is a man who is true to his word, and is full of integrity and kindness, despite what the system did to him and how it destroyed his trust in others.
I don’t want his money. I reached out to Peyton about it, and she’s going to talk to her brother. Sure, I could use it to set up my own business, but I’d rather do it all on my own. I can start small and build. Speaking of Peyton, she called earlier and wants to come over to talk to me. Perhaps she’s going to arrange a transfer of the funds back to Cason. I’m looking forward to seeing her, although the sight is going to be painful, after the happy memories we created over the holidays.
I set my notepad on the sofa beside me, and walk around my condo. I pace restlessly as I’ve been doing since I returned to New York, and I peer out my window, waiting for her car to pull up in front of my building. I drop the curtain and glance at my yoga pants and T-shirt. Good Lord, I should change before she gets here. My clothes have ice cream stains on them.
A car door slams. Shoot, too late.
I run my hand over my mess of hair and walk to the door as she knocks. Her eyes open wide when she sees me.
“I don’t even have to ask,” she says and pulls me in for a hug. “But you have ten minutes to get changed and comb your hair. We’re going out.”
I back up, and shake my head. “What are you talking about?” That’s when I notice she’s wearing heels and a dress, covered by a wool coat. Her diamond earrings twinkle in the light, so does her necklace. “Do you have a date?”
“Yeah, with you. Now get ready.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Peyton. I have things to do.”
“Like what?” She reaches out and runs her fingers over the stains on my shirt. “Finish the tub of rocky road?”
“It’s not rocky road, it’s salted caramel.”
She laughs. “I don’t care what it is, you’re done moping. Yes, my brother was an idiot, and—” She blinks. “Wait, you do still love him, don’t you?”
My shoulders tense and I hug myself. “Of course I do, Peyton.”
“Even after all the stupid things he said to you?”
“I know where they were coming from.”
“Still doesn’t make it any better. But I guess what I’m asking is, if he wanted to try to work things out, you’d be open to that?”
I snort, unladylike I know, but I can’t help myself. “That’s not going to happen,” I say.
“Well, we’re still going out. You have nine minutes to get changed.”
“Peyton, I—” Before I can finish my protest, she’s turning me around and pushing me down the hall.
“I’ll drag you out in these clothes, but once you see where we’re going you’ll kill me for not making you change.”
“Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“I don’t like surprises,” I say. The last surprise I faced was at the auction. Look how that turned out.
“You’re going to have to trust me on this.” She taps her wrist. “Clock is ticking.”
“Wow, you’re as pushy as your brother.”
She grins at me. “Eight minutes.”
“Fine.” I rush around my room, and tug a cocktail dress from my closet. I slide into it and run a comb through my hair. Since it refuses to cooperate, I pin it up.
“I like it up,” Peyton says from the doorway and my heart skips a beat. Cason liked it up, too.
Ugh, stop thinking about him, Londyn.
I put on a pair of earrings, and leave my face makeup-free, except for a swipe of the red lipstick Jennie gave me that night at Movida’s. Great, now I’m thinking how much Cason liked it the night I put it on.
“How do I look?”
“He’s going to lose his mind,” she says, her voice so low I have to strain to hear it.
“What?”
“Nothing.” She shakes her head. “Did you make that dress?”
“Yeah,” I say and glance at myself in the full-length mirror. “Do you like it?”
“It’s fantastic. I want one.”
“When I get my business up and running, I’ll see what I can do.”
“And that lipstick, it’s a great color.”
“My friend gave me this. Hang on.” I dig through my purse. “I picked up another tube and it would go so great with your amber hair. It’s yours.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, you’ll love it.” I snort, remembering the first time I put it on and how Cason reacted. “Be careful with it, though. The color is like an aphrodisiac.”
She chuckles like she doesn’t believe it. “Well thanks.”
I step into the hall and pull a pair of heels from the coat closet.
“You’re going to kick ass in the fashion world,” she says as I slide into a winter coat. The weather is a heck of a lot colder than it was in Cannes.
We head outside to her car. I stare at the people walking along the sidewalks as she drives and soon enough she pulls up to Skylight Square.
“What the...”
“It’s Fashion Week,” she says. “And we’re going.”
“I...don’t have tickets.”
“I guess it’s a good thing I do.”
I climb from the car, hardly able to believe it. “But you’re not really interested in fashion, are you?” I ask.
“I like a nice dress as much as the next person,” she says with a grin. “Tonight is for you, Londyn.”
“I can’t believe we’re doing this.”
Twenty minutes later we’re sitting in the front row. The front row! Surrounded by other designers.
“Isn’t this exciting?” Peyton asks me.
“I’m still in shock.”
“You just wait,” she says with a grin. “I bet you’re glad I made you change, now.”
I laugh. “I would have killed you.”
“I know.”
The first model comes onto the stage, and my pulse leaps, but as she strolls the catwalk my heart falls into my stomach. I glance at Peyton who is staring at me, a huge smile on her face. What the hell is this? Cason’s way of showing me what it’s like to have your ideas ripped off? I turn back to the model, taking in my design on her body. Another model walks onstage, and once again she’s in something I sketched while I was in Cannes. My stomach coils, and if I wasn’t in the front row, I’d storm out of here. But I am not about to draw any attention to myself. Tears prick my eyes and I try to hide them.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Peyton asks.
I shake my head as one more model parades up and down, and the crowd claps. Well, at least they like my designs. With my throat tight, I wait for the designer to come out, to claim his glory, but when Cason walks onstage with Luis Laurent, I nearly sink to the floor.
Peyton grabs my arm and gives it a squeeze, but I barely register
the touch as Cason takes the microphone.
“Let’s give it up for the designer of these beautiful garments,” Cason says, and my gaze slides to Luis. But he’s staring at me. In fact, both men are looking my way. Cason holds his hand out, and my entire body tightens. What is going on?
“Can we please bring Londyn Harding to the stage,” he says.
Peyton stands and hauls me to my feet. She guides me onto the stage and my knees wobble.
“Cason,” I whisper. “What is going on?”
Luis takes the microphone. “This lovely and talented woman is responsible for these new spring fashions. She designed them, while my team created the final versions as a surprise to her. Can we give it up for Londyn?” Everyone starts clapping and Cason puts his hand around me to hold me upright. “I would like to invite her onto my team,” Luis says, and I begin to shake. Luis winks at me. “I’ll give you some time to think about that.”
He hands the microphone back to Cason. Cason clears his throat and his eyes are on me when he speaks into the microphone and says, “I am so happy to share your beautiful designs with the world.” He glances at the crowd. “You’re going to be seeing a lot from this talented woman. But right now, I’m taking her backstage, because I don’t feel like sharing her with anyone right now.” Laughter erupts around us as he grins at me. “I want her all to myself tonight.”
Tears fall down my face. I can’t believe Cason did this for me. The crowd claps, and he takes my hand and leads me to the back where the models are rushing about. Without a word, he ushers me into a private room, and closes the door.
“You’re a superstar,” he says. “You’re going to have a ton of orders.”
“I can’t believe you did this. How? When?”
“I wanted to tell you how much I believe in you, but after what I said, I wasn’t sure words were enough.”
“This...this is unbelievable. I never expected... I can’t even...”
“Londyn, I would have come to you earlier, but I took your advice.”
