by Tiana Laveen
I’m supposed to talk to him. He totally forgot to ask me again what it was I came over here to say. It was like the phone call stopped me from making a mistake. Maybe that’s a sign? Maybe no matter what, he doesn’t care? It’s the past. It was a long, long time ago. It had nothing to do with right now…
She shuddered and closed her eyes as his deep, rumbling voice shook her from her deliberations. Speaking into her ear, he stroked her shoulder, “You’re staying the night.” It wasn’t a request, but a command.
“Can I put you in my mouth? I want to taste you.”
“You don’t have to ask. Just suck my dick, baby. It’s yours.”
He kissed her shoulder, then let her straddle him. Tracing his chest with her finger, she studied his serious face as he waited to be served. And damn if she wasn’t ready to deliver.
Kissing his stomach, covered in downy black hair and tattoos, she kept going until a trace scent of soap and cologne could be detected. His thick, dark pubic hair was trimmed neatly, yet, there was so much of it. This turned her on all the more. He was clearly meticulous about his physical upkeep, for he always smelled good, worked out, and she’d recently discovered he was a bit of a juicing and supplement fanatic. She wrapped both hands around his shaft, then slipped the smooth head in her mouth. He groaned as she took more and more of him, sucking slow and steady until she couldn’t fit any more.
“Damn!” he yelled, falling deeper into the abyss of oral pleasure.
She loved giving fellatio, and this motherfucker was perfect because her heart was in it. She was falling in love… and he deserved it.
She popped it out, causing a suction noise as trails of saliva and pre-cum clung to her lower lip. Licking up and down his wood, she noticed his breathing get louder, harder. Taking as much of him in as she could, she sucked to the point of almost gagging, but couldn’t stop. The smoothness of his sword, the thick veins that ran the length, and the softness of his large balls made her pussy clench and stream. His python was a thing of beauty. Fucking perfect, and though they’d never discussed his ‘blessing,’ there was no doubt Gutter knew his main vein was one in a million.
He pumped his hips in shallow thrusts, and her eyes watered when his hand pushed her farther down onto him, taking control. His raspy grunts filled the room, growing louder and louder as he fucked her mouth. When she glanced up, his chest was heaving, head back, and his breathing got more erratic. He gripped her ponytail, yanking it every now and again as he fed more of himself to her.
“Just like that. Ugh! Oh God, baby… You suck my dick like no other! Oh my God, where did you learn this shit?! Just like that, Promise… Don’t stop… Uh, fuck…I’m gonna cum…I’m… stop… stop.”
Their eyes fixed on one another.
…But she wouldn’t stop. She wouldn’t let go. She wanted to taste him. Completely. Swallow him whole.
“I told you to stop! Ahhh… Shit!!!”
The warm liquid flooded her mouth in harsh spurts. Gutter roared as he jerked in a flurry of fast, rough thrusts. She swallowed his sweet and salty essence, released him, then slurped up the silky mess from all over his shaft as if he were an ice-cream cone, in need of a good lick. He writhed about beneath her, cursing and falling apart.
As he regained control of himself, she slipped up his body and nestled against his chest. She couldn’t get close enough to him, no matter how hard she tried. She wanted him all around her, cocooning her from the unknown. He kissed the top of her head and wrapped their bodies in the black and white sheets. Lying between her legs, he began to grind against her, moving between her thighs as if they were fucking. Mercilessly mocking her.
He sucked on her earlobe, making her smile, then played with her hair and hummed a melody in her ear. Jenevieve’s ‘Résumé’ started to play through the speakers from the corners of the room. He slowed to a crawl, and then, just simply held her. As they hugged one another, she glanced over at the fireplace. The flames danced in vibrant colors of gold and cherry. She traced his arm with her fingertips, burrowing against his form as he rocked her from side to side.
“How do you always know what I want?” she asked softly.
“Your pussy told me. See, there was a grocery list inside it, so I grabbed it with my tongue, then went out and—Ouch!” He chuckled when she pinched his nipple and twisted it.
“I’m serious, Gutter.”
“Okay. Give me an example of what you mean.”
She loved how when he spoke, there would be a thoughtful pause, and then his deep voice would make her insides rumble.
“I can give you several… Our first date was perfect. Talking and dancing, got to meet a few of your friends. Good food, great music. One-on-one time. You brought me Indian and Chinese food the other day from two of my favorite restaurants and now, I just wanted to be held by you. And you did it. It’s like you know me so well, you can read me, and those are just a few instances.”
“Well, I think it’s easy for me because we’ve got a lot in common. You like my music, and I like my music, too.”
She chuckled at his silliness, although he was technically correct.
“We have similar tastes in a lot of things, and we seem to be on the same page. Want the same things outta life. I’m at a point in my life, Promise, where I’m ready to settle down. Your physique got my attention. Your personality and mindset kept it.”
He released her for a moment to pull out a condom from his nightstand drawer. Durex XXL. Made for the big boys…
He tore the wrapper open and sheathed his rock-hard erection.
“Stand up.”
She got to her feet, and he immediately bent her over.
She braced herself as he stood behind her. From over her shoulder, she saw him stoop a bit as he reached in front of her and stroked her pussy with one hand, then guided himself inside with the other.
“Ohhh!” She hissed and double-fisted the sheets, her forehead hitting the bed as he went in so damn deep. “Ahhh… Gutter… Ahhh!”
His thrusts were slow, yet ruthless. Demanding. So damn good…
“You fill me up. You fill up my pussy!”
He pounded against her, his balls smacking into her ass as he delivered slippery pleasure with a pinch of sexy pain. She put her hand on his thigh, but he slapped it away.
“Nuh uh, move your hand.”
“You’re so deep!”
“I know you can take it. Uh! Uh!”
“Oh, baby! Yes!”
“You want me to murder this pussy, baby?!”
“YES! Fuck me harder!” she cried in ecstasy.
He slammed into her, over and over, and her world became hazy. Within seconds, she came so hard, her body shook from her head to her feet. Every part of her quivered like an earthquake. She was helpless in the throes of the aftershocks of her orgasm, but the beast of a man kept ravishing her. She grew impossibly wetter from his deep groans and nasty utterances.
She screamed as he held her hips so damn tight, she was certain his fingerprints would be left behind. He rammed into her over and over again, his grunts and voice carrying until he let out a low, guttural groan. Warmth filled her pussy, accompanied by rapid fire thrusts as he came inside her. He used her body like an instrument, a plaything. She felt wonderfully conquered. Ruled. Loved.
Soon, she felt his warm breath along the back of her neck as he cupped her breasts, his weight pressed into her. He remained throbbing inside of her, and she never wanted to let him go. He intertwined their fingers, and they stayed that way for long moments, neither of them wanting to budge.
After a while though, he stirred.
“I’ll be right back.”
She hated how naked she felt without the heat of his body against her. Damn, I sound so needy… Perhaps right now, that was okay.
Staggering into one of the doors she’d seen earlier, he turned on the light, revealing a beautiful basin and shower stall. Yeah, that’s the bathroom. He left the door open and discarded the condom. Then he w
ashed his hands, brushed his teeth, and splashed his face with water. When he returned, he opened up an enormous walk-in closet. Clothing hung neatly by color and garment type, and on one side were several built-in dresser drawers. He pulled out a pair of black boxer briefs out of one and slid them on.
Curling up under the sheets, she watched him messing around with another drawer and heard a crinkling sound. Soon after, he came over and handed her a pink gift bag.
“What’s this?” she asked with a smile as he slid next to her.
“Just open it.”
She pulled out a white jewelry box, and inside was a pair of gorgeous diamond stud earrings. They sparkled like nothing she’d ever seen.
“Oh, my goodness, Zake. You didn’t. They’re beautiful.”
“I’m glad you like them.”
“Like them? I love them. Thank you.” She threw her arms around him and gave him a peck on the lips. “You don’t have to buy me all of this stuff, Gutter, but I damn sure love and appreciate it!”
They lay together, listening to the music and holding hands.
“I love you.”
Her heart jumped. She looked down at her lap, covered in the luxurious sheets.
“I hate saying that shit first.” He chuckled sadly as he looked straight ahead. “It’s always a little awkward, ya know?” She nodded in agreement. “I think because I write a lot of songs, and some of them are love songs, people think it’s easy for me to say things like that… to just be like that naturally, in my real life, but that’s not true. I don’t like opening myself up like this, but I’m a grown ass man, and grown ass men tell the truth. We take chances. Now, with that said, there are a couple of things we need to discuss, okay?”
He turned and looked at her. His complexion deepened as he squeezed her hand tighter.
“Okay. Is something wrong?”
“Depends on how you look at it. First of all, I know you probably noticed that my mother and I aren’t exactly close.”
“I didn’t want to push the issue but yes, I realized something was wrong.”
“She didn’t raise me. My father did. That’s why you never hear me bring her up in interviews. I don’t discuss her at all. It’s nobody’s business.” She nodded in agreement. “So, here’s what happened. She walked out on us when I was young. She came back the first time, but then left again when I was twelve. That time for good. Ever since I was about nineteen or so, she’s tried, on and off, to forge a relationship with me, but I wasn’t trying to hear it. She did manage to mend things to some degree with my brother and sister, Zach and Zina, but there’s still a bit of tension there, too. She and I had absolutely no communication whatsoever until recently.”
“Why’d she leave?”
“It’s not a simple answer, but the short answer is, she wasn’t getting along with my father and we, the kids, became collateral damage.”
“I see.” She gave a sad head shake.
“As you know, my mother is terminally ill, and I’m helping her. We’ve been talking, getting to know one another. It’s been a roller coaster, up and down, but if it wasn’t for you, through the kindness you showed her—which impressed me because it seemed genuine—something unrelated that happened with a neighbor of mine, and the attempted carjacking, I’m not convinced I would’ve attempted to put my all into this. I just want to put the past behind me and move on, so I can see what’s really going on, ya know? Find out who this woman is. I need answers, but there’s nothin’ she can say to me that would be enough. I just need more time with her. She and I have a connection. I didn’t believe we’d have one at all, but I can admit I was wrong.”
“Gutter, it’s none of my business, but she can only change the present. She can’t erase what she did in the past. Do you want some sort of redemption from her?”
“I understand that. I don’t expect her to redeem herself necessarily, I’m not lookin’ for that, but I’m just trying to address this situation before it’s too late. I’ve got a lot of rage in me about this woman…” He ran his hand along his chest and looked away.
“Rage is fear.”
“Huh?” He gave her a perplexed look.
“Rage is actually fear. You’re afraid of something. You’re afraid that if you let your guard completely down, she’ll hurt you again. I now work with the grief stricken, and the deceased. I’m not a psychologist—just a former nurse. Death brings out the worst and best people. And I know people. Same with me. I am infuriated about my father.”
“Why?”
“Because I fear that if I fully forgive him for being an asshole and treating my mother like shit, and for choosing the streets over me and my brother, that he’ll find some way to hurt me again. I have every right to feel as I do. As do you. I understand your rage. Your mother left. My father left, in his own way.”
They squeezed each other’s hand, and she hugged him with everything she had within her. As if he were her one and only lifeline.
After a while, he cleared his throat and broke the silence.
“There’s something else we need to talk about. You know there’s still some legal shit going on regarding me and the situation I had, the carjacking… where I had to shoot that guy.”
“Yes, I know. It was self-defense.”
“Well, I want you to hear this from me first, and not the gossip vlogs and all of that shit,” he said. “That situation sparked some emotions in people. At the end of the day, this is how some see it: I’m a White man who killed a Black man. To make matters worse, to them I’m not just a White man, but a White man who has fame and money, who killed a Black man few people knew, and he wasn’t rich. Regardless of him pulling a gun out on me first, some people don’t seem to care about the fact it was a life-or-death situation, and my brains were going to be blown out if I didn’t respond the way I did. People have started to bring up old shit I was involved with and take it out of context to fit their twisted narrative.”
“Like what?”
“My past incarcerations. You already know I was doing illegal shit when I was younger. I told you about that, and it’s public record.”
“Yes, you were honest about that. You were a teenager and had gotten in trouble.”
“Yeah, that was stupid on my part, but we were hurting for money. My dad was a single parent. He and I didn’t get along at the time, and some of my friends were doing it and put me on. It seemed like easy money. Not a good choice, like I said, but it happened.” He shrugged. “Secondly, some people are now trying to say I’m another Justin Timberlake, riding the Black community and biting their style. I don’t even sing a lot of songs that fit into the R&B category, so that’s a bunch of bullshit, but I do write for a lot of R&B artists, so there’s that.”
He sighed. “The family of the guy I killed is trying sue me because of my celebrity status.” She huffed and sucked her teeth. “They think they can get some money out of it, but my lawyer said it won’t even make it to court because the video from that store and the street cam show he pulled a weapon out on me first, and his weapon was illegal, while mine was registered.
“I wasn’t the aggressor. Nothing is going to come of it, but it still leaves a smear on my name, Promise. I’ve had people try to extort me for money before, so this isn’t my first rodeo, but it’s still aggravating. I’m telling you all of this, baby, because you might start to feel under pressure. You’re going to hear a lot of shit that isn’t true. Women are probably going to start contacting you, lying and saying I’m with them. It has happened in almost every relationship I’ve been in, like clockwork… because see, now that I’ve told the world that I’ve found someone special,” he took her hand and kissed it, “it’s on.
“There’s a lot of racist shit being said about me, and some of this is being fueled by me having to defend myself from a man who has a history of pulling this same shit on other people. He’s a known crook, ran several theft rings. All in all, my life can be hectic and crazy sometimes. It’s not easy being with someone
in the limelight, baby, and I know this situation with the guy’s family will go away eventually, but I just wanted to warn you about all the things you’re up against. No matter how much I want you, and I want you bad, believe me, it would be wrong of me to not let you know before we get any deeper into this relationship.”
Guilt climbed up her throat and burned like acid reflux.
She looked at him and shook her head.
“What?”
“I’m not scared. I’m not going to let anyone run me off because of their own issues. I can hack it. I love you, too.” He stroked her chin, a loving gleam in his eyes. “I’ve seen what people have been saying, Zake. You’re basically giving me an out, like jump now before it’s too late. I don’t need it. If we let haters and instigators win, then they will never stop.”
He bumped his head against the pillows and ran his hands down his face.
“I’m glad to hear everything you said.”
“I knew when I agreed to go out with you that if we hit it off, these things would more than likely happen. I understood that dating someone in your position would have challenges. I know there’ll be times I don’t see you when you’re on the road. Women will throw themselves at you, but I have to trust my man, believe you wouldn’t betray me by cheating. Not every day can be diamond earrings, incredible sex, or Indian food while lazing around in bed.”
His lips curled in a tilted smile, then he kissed her nose.
“Not every day, no, but any day I spend with you, I’m going to make sure it’s amazing.”
Their lips met in a torrid kiss.
“I believe you’re what I’ve been wanting, C.B.”
She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed.
“And I believe the same.”
“That you’re what I’ve been wanting?”
“Exactly.”
They shared a laugh at that.
“Promise.” He pulled away and fixed an intense gaze on her. “I just… I really care about you. I love you, baby. I said it, and I mean that. That’s not somethin’ I just go around telling people. So, if you’re down, then everything is cool. Let’s do this.” He sealed his words with another kiss.
