by Tiana Laveen
They glared at one another as tempers swelled. “Sometimes I honestly don’t have much of a conscience. I would never hurt someone I love though, especially the way you did.”
“She made herself out to be the victim, right? First of all, we were young. We both made mistakes. Secondly, I never put a gun to Promise’s head. She could’ve stopped at any time, but most of all, this is none of your damn business! I don’t owe you an explanation, man!”
“What you did to Promise, pressuring her into that shit, has completely fucked with her head, but thankfully, she’s a smart woman… and strong, too. She’ll be all right. Anything that threatens her peace is my business. You popped up out of the blue, went to her job, sent flowers a few times, she asked you to stop it. We got engaged, you sent her some weird ass stalkerish text message like ten minutes after it happened, and now you sit there like you actually believe I won’t tear you to pieces for that shit alone. Right here. Right now. I’ll do it so fast, by the time your little dumpy security guard pal gets his ass over here, you’ll already be in bloody ribbons. You say don’t let your suit and tie fool me? Don’t let the color of my skin fool you…” He pointed an accusatory finger at him. “One of the biggest dope dealers in my hood gave me my name: Gutter. He was a locally famous DJ, too. Educate yourself on me, homie. My rap sheet and history are public record. I didn’t hang with cuddly teddy bears, pretty fairies, and Cupid. I don’t have to fake shit. Pretend gangsta. You wish you were about that life. Brooklyn born and bred, baby. 100.”
Gutter got to his feet and glared down at the man.
The punk’s chin trembled as he looked away.
“Scary ass… Want to act like a big man with tha fuckin’ office door wide open and all of these cameras. Protecting you. You better hope we never have to see each other again, Trevor, because if we do, only one of us will be walking away intact. And I ain’t fallin’ down for nobody.”
He blew a bubble, let it pop, and walked himself out.
…Several days later
“Gutter, I’m five minutes away… I’m five minutes away, right?” Promise anxiously asked the Lyft driver.
“Yes… four minutes now.”
“Okay.” He abruptly ended the call. Anxiety filled her.
“I’m getting you there as fast as I can, sweetheart. I promise. Take a deep breath, it’s going to be okay,” the driver assured her. The sweet Black lady who’d picked her up from work had been a Godsend.
“Yes… thank you. That was my fiancé on the phone. It’s his mother who is in the hospital right now.”
“She’s sick?”
“She has cancer. Had it for a while, but something has happened apparently. They said she could hardly breathe, but managed to call 911. They said that she… never mind. I just have to get there.”
She shook her head and rocked back and forth, unable to sit still. She closed her eyes, trying to calm herself, but that didn’t work, either. She practically jumped out of the car as it pulled up to the front of the infirmary. Thanking the driver, she raced inside New York-Presbyterian Queens Hospital. Only then did she feel herself relaxing, as if she’d put a magical hat on her head and it worked wonders. She’d been to so many hospitals for work related visits, many times during the wee hours of the morning or late at night, that she knew most of their floor plans by heart.
Able to breathe easier, she found out where Jenny was and made her way to the floor. In the lobby, she found Gutter, his father and sister. None of them seemed to notice her approaching. Gutter’s father was standing in the waiting area, like some statue. Zina was red in the face, her eyes puffy, clutching a tissue. She turned to Gutter, but before she could get his attention, he looked up from his phone and smiled.
“Oh, baby!” She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek. “I’m here. What’s the status?” she asked as she looked around at the others, wanting an answer from anyone who was able to speak.
“They have her sedated. She’s conscious, but not doing well,” Gutter explained, his tone flat. He looked disconnected, as if he were drifting inside of himself, but not fully there. “Her blood pressure is pretty low, too. They’re workin’ on that.”
She nodded in understanding.
“Were you all able to visit with her?”
Zina shook her head, then blew her nose. “No.” She sniffed. “The doctor said he’ll let us in as soon as it’s okay.”
Promise took a seat next to Gutter, while his father stared indifferently at some cop show on the television. Promise wrapped her arm around Gutter and squeezed. He barely budged. She didn’t mind because she recognized this sort of response to illness and death. After about an hour, the doctor came and said she was awake and coherent, her blood pressure had improved, and they had her stable. He added that two of them could enter at a time. Much to her surprise, Gutter’s father clutched his ball cap and turned to his children.
“Zina, do ya mind if I go in with Gutter for a minute? I’d like to talk to Jenny. It’ll only be for a second.”
“No, I don’t mind. Go ahead, Dad. I’ll wait.”
The man nodded, and the pair left. Promise smiled at Zina, who attempted to smile back, but failed.
“How about I get us some coffee? Are you hungry?” she offered.
Zina blew her nose and shook her head. “I don’t have an appetite, Promise, but coffee sounds good. One cream, one sugar, please. Splenda, if they have it.”
“You got it. I’ll be right back.” Promise got to her feet and as she walked away, she spotted Gutter and his father entering one of the hospital rooms.
God, please help all of them right now. Give them strength. I know I don’t pray to you as much as I should, but I need you right now. I know my man… the one you brought into my life. He needs you. He can have all the friends, fans, and family in the world, but without you, he’s not going to get through this…
The chair creaked as Dad’s weight came down upon it. A little clock radio played Madonna’s, ‘Dress You Up,’ on low. Gutter kept out of the way, studying the strange expression on the man’s face. Angry, yet sad at the same time. Dad took Jenny’s hand and patted it, then squeezed it. His eyes watered, but no tears fell. Jenny just lay there. So odd that she didn’t look sick. She had color in her skin, and some of her hair seemed to be growing back. Her lips were plump, and she looked completely alert.
“Hi, old man,” she teased, her voice weak. “I see you’re still not missing any meals, big boy.”
Dad laughed sadly. He averted his gaze, as if needing a minute.
“I haven’t seen ya in a long time, Jenny. We’ve talked, mostly me cussing ya out, but laid eyes on you? It’s been forever.”
She nodded.
“…Jenny, I don’t know what to say, so I’m gonna wing it.” Dad cleared his throat. “I’m not good with stuff like this, but I want to tell you that because of our son, one of three of the best gifts ya ever gave me, I was… I was able to make peace with what happened between us.” His voice cracked and he shook his head as the tears welled up in his eyes again.
Jenny’s eyes twinkled, and so did her smile.
“I still love ya, old man.” She chuckled. “I didn’t handle leavin’ our marriage right. I was unhappy, but that wasn’t the way to show it. To deal with it. It was a bad move. I’m sorry about how I did things. How it ended. How it affected our kids. I really am. I told ya that though… even when you cussed me out over Gutter and his tour, and all of that. I meant what I said to you about being apologetic. For all of it.”
“I know you meant it. Well, I hoped ya did.” He laughed. “My Debbie Harry…” He stroked her head, like she was a baby. “I want to make peace with ya, Jenny. No bad feelings. No hard feelings. No grudges. Hey, want to hear something funny? Did any of the kids tell ya I was married again for only a split second, like twenty years ago?”
“Yeah.” She chuckled, her face turning red. “Zach said she slept with your brother, and she was a real piece of work. Which br
other did she nail?” Jenny’s eyes filled with mischief.
“Kirk. The one who still thought he was in the war and was snortin’ cocaine like an anteater. She called herself getting even with me because I had filed for divorce from her. They fooled around after that. I was just glad to be rid of her. Good riddance.” He shook his head and laughed. “It was hard to love someone as much as I loved you, though, you crazy lady. What happened to that pet turtle ya used to have? Henrietta?”
“Aww, Jesus.” She rolled her eyes. “She ran away.”
“How in the hell does a turtle run away, Jenny?!”
Gutter sat down on the edge of her bed and listened to the two of them joke around, talk about old times, and in some strange way… become friends. After a while, Dad got up and looked down at her.
“I’d like to think, by some miracle, you’re going to pull out of this.”
She looked up at him and shook her head. Gutter quickly turned away, not wanting to see anymore.
“I don’t think so, old man. Patrick, I think I’m close to the finish line… but… ya know what? That’s okay. I’ve lived my life. I had my art. My oldies station music. My clothes and jewelry. My house. My artsy friends. I’ve traveled a little. I’ve gotten to talk to my children, make some new memories, even with Zach. We’ve been video chatting. It’s been nice getting to know them. Zina and I have been in contact for years, but, ya know, because of Owen…”
“Yeah, I know. He’s out of the picture now. She’s waiting in the lobby to see you, too.”
“Okay. You know today is great, right? I’ll tell you why. It’s because I got to see my handsome husband… the father of my three blessings, and I got to tell him to his face how I feel about him. Not the negative stuff that happened in the past—not gonna waste my time talking about any of that. Instead, I want to concentrate on what matters. Life has no meaning if ya got nobody to love or care about, honey. Nobody to care about you, too. I don’t deserve any of this love and affection, but for some reason, I’ve got it. I’ve got love all around me.”
Gutter slowly faced his mother, and his chest swelled with emotion and pain. His father was standing, clutching Jenny’s hand, and shaking. Crying quietly. His tears were falling all over her, but all she did was smile wide at him as though he was the best thing to walk the earth. He remembered that look in her eyes when he’d been a young boy. The way she’d looked at his father back then was magic, like he was the stars, the moon, and everything in between.
It didn’t matter if it was the pain medication making her do it, a guilty conscience or broken heart; they both needed this. Sometimes, just a glance, a well-placed smile, or a hug at just the right time was the only medicine we need. Love heals all wounds. Full recovery guaranteed.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Family Matters
“Well, here’s the reality of the situation, Zake.” Westley took a sip of his coffee from the white carry-out cup as he sat across from the man in his penthouse. Gutter had ordered a delivery of brew and some damn good danishes. “You and I see this as important, right, but there are murderers, gang related crimes, and rapists runnin’ around New York City twenty-four-seven, so my sister having her old ass photos taped to a window of a funeral home isn’t exactly their top priority right about now.”
“I know, man.” Gutter slumped on the couch. “That’s why I took matters into my own hands. Money talks.”
“That’s true, but that might not amount to much because the police still have to be involved.”
“Problem is, according to the company I hired to look at the footage, the bulk of the cameras are on the outside, so they don’t actually see the guy putting the pictures up. They just see him walk in with some folder in his hand, go back into the front lobby, open it… but then because of where that wall is, they can tell he is definitely moving around putting the pictures up, but no one was there to witness him, only the custodians were there and they didn’t see him, and on top of that, he had on a hoodie and glasses. It’s taking a long time. They said they are still working on it, but I don’t care if it takes fifty years. I want to know who did this.”
Westley shook his head. “It’s crazy, man. This happening to my sister, of all people, really tears me up inside. She didn’t deserve this.”
“So, what about fingerprints? Or have I been watching too much CSI?”
“That’s not done all the time, especially in cases like this because no one died, it wasn’t a break-in, and no one was physically harmed. But from what I understand, Promise’s boss got rid of the pictures which in hindsight wasn’t a good idea. She’s not a police officer so of course she wouldn’t know. And she was just trying to help my sister, but even if she hadn’t gotten rid of those pictures, other people had touched them beforehand to look at them, and some had even taken them down off the wall, so they’d been contaminated. The scene was compromised, basically.”
Gutter nodded in understanding.
“They ruled out her coworker, Daniel, so that leaves Trevor, but we have no concrete proof yet.”
“It’s got to be Trevor, man, but like you said, we have no evidence.” Westley bunched his brows and huffed in frustration. “He was interviewed and said the same thing he told you: that he didn’t have anything to do with it. You know you weren’t supposed to go over and mess with him though.”
Westley knows damn well that had he been in my shoes, he would’ve done the same thing.
“I was definitely supposed to go over and mess with him. Like you said, the police are busy with other shit. Someone had to do something. Might as well be me. I tell you what, he hasn’t sent her a text or DM, since. He got the picture loud and clear.”
“I can’t get directly involved because it’s a conflict of interest, but believe me, I’m following this closely anyway.”
“Yeah, I get it. Do you want some more coffee?” Gutter offered. “I can get more delivered. The shop is on the first floor.”
“No, I’m good, I’m good.” Westley reached down and flicked a speck of dust off his shoe. “Did the detective call you about the follow-up regarding the attempted carjacking?”
“Yeah. I spoke to him last week. One of the guys was picked up on other charges, so they have them all now, and that court case ol’ boy’s family tried to pull was dismissed. How the hell is your relative going to try to rob and attempt to kill someone with his little criminal crew, then get a taste of his own medicine because I defended myself, and then turn around and sue when I was the one wronged? People are incredible, man. When my lawyer first called me about it, I couldn’t believe it.”
Westley burst out laughing and shrugged. “It takes all kinds, Zake. That’s not just what happens to people like you, but everyday Joes, too. Nothing shocks me anymore.” He looked around at Gutter’s trophies, awards, and luxurious trappings.
“This is a nice pad, man.”
“Thanks.”
“I’m moving in, too. I know you’ve got a couple spare rooms. Me and Promise are a package deal.” They both had a good laugh at that. “How’s your mother doing?”
Gutter stiffened and the mood in the room instantly changed.
“She’s not doing too well, Westley. She’s back at home with a nurse I got her for daily care. Right now, it’s just about pain management because there’s nothing else they can do.”
“Zake, I’m really sorry about this. My mother is a trip sometimes, but I love her a hell of a lot. She can be hard to deal with, but she was a good parent. I couldn’t imagine being’ in your shoes. I know it has to be hard.”
“Well, I’m assuming Promise told you, but I wasn’t really that close to my mother. We didn’t have a relationship until this year.”
“She told me a little about that, probably not everything, but I got the gist.”
“It’s a long story. No need to rehash it or go into the details right now. I’m just glad I got to spend a lot of time with her recently though. I didn’t know her; now I can honestly say that I
do, and that means a lot to me. She’s not a bad person. She was going through some sort of mental breakdown I guess you could say, and it made her do some things that uh… affected a lot of people. Promise explained that my mother has diagnosed anxiety issues and chemical depression dating back to when I was small. Apparently, Jenny… no…” Gutter paused, getting his thoughts together. “Apparently, my mom told her about it. I’ve never seen her as a part of me. Calling her mom always felt strange, so I stopped saying it when I was still a kid. But now, calling her Jenny feels strange. Just wrong. That’s my mother, man. She is in the ways that matter today. She is because I cannot do anything but love her as she does me. I know she does. She deserves the title.” Gutter took a deep breath, then continued. “She seems to tell Promise a lot of stuff, actually. It’s funny how well the two of them have connected. It hurts, too… because I know Promise really loves my mother, and one day, her friend will be gone. Anyway,” he sighed, “I’m glad I trusted my gut and came back home.”
He leaned back against the couch and ran a hand over his face, trying to keep the emotions in check.
“You’ve got a lot on your plate. I’m going to get out of here and let you start your day. Thanks for letting me stop by on such late notice. I just wanted to brief you on everything and let you know why nothing has happened.”
“Yeah. No problem. You’re about to be my brother-in-law. We’re family.” Gutter took a sip of his coffee.
“Yeah, we are.” Standing, he adjusted his police uniform belt and grabbed his hat from the ottoman. “Zake.”
“Yeah?”
“Since I care about my sister, and after all the shit she went through, I took the liberty of finding out more about you. I know about your past. Some of the things you were involved in.”
