“Isn’t Preston supposed to get home soon?” Cassidy asked as Nissa tried to pull her earring out.
Kelly cringed inside. She straightened her shoulders and said as casually as possible, “He’s back.”
“Oh.” Cassidy gave Kelly a considering look. “I know you weren’t sure about him, but he’s been out of the country for weeks...”
“We broke up.” Nessa wiggled. Kelly set her down on the activity room floor and watched as she toddled over to the reading circle.
Cassidy blinked like a board had landed in her eye. “Do you need a lawyer to get you out of the contract he made you sign?”
“No.” There had been a prenup, but it had been to protect her, not hurt her. The hurt came from another area. She couldn’t go into the fact that Preston had had a girlfriend on the side since ninth grade. But it definitely made her feel much less guilty for every second she’d spent with Tough.
Cassidy set Nissa down. She immediately began to cry and fuss to be held, but Cassidy touched Kelly’s arm gently. “What are you going to do?”
Kelly bit her lip and blinked back the sudden spring of tears. She wasn’t sad about losing Preston. It was more the loss of her security. Or maybe the onset of fear. “I feel like my life is lying around me in ashes.”
Cassidy wrapped her arms around Kelly. “At least you didn’t get burned.” She squeezed tighter. “I know this is something you’re still working through, but I think it’s because you didn’t really love him. Not the way a woman should love her man.”
Kelly couldn’t argue. If Tough had done to her what Preston did... She and Tough weren’t even together, and when he’d ridden with Dusty on her bike, it had felt like Kelly’s chest was being torn apart.
Now, Kelly was sad and scared, maybe, feeling the traces of anger, perhaps, but not hurt. Definitely not burned.
Cassidy held her for a minute then leaned back. “We could have a girls’ night. You know Harris is always up for it.”
The idea was tempting. But she’d always found that staying busy helped her much more than wallowing. Getting together to chat and have fun was one thing. Getting together for everyone to talk about what a massive cave-in her life had become was not appealing at all. At all.
She needed to be occupied. “No. I’ve got to find something constructive to do.”
“Did you tell Tough?” Cassidy asked softly.
“No.”
“I think he’d like to know.”
Harris stepped over and observed their drawn expressions. “You guys heard too?”
“Heard what?” Cassidy asked.
“Dr. T has decided to unmask herself.”
“That’s good news, isn’t it?” Cassidy asked carefully. Harris was kind of particular when it came to Dr. T.
Harris shook her head emphatically. “No! That’s all the fun of it. No one knows who she is.”
“Oh.”
Kelly thought about the advice Dr. T had given her. It really hadn’t helped. “When is she going to unmask herself?”
“She’s going to do it in person.” Harris sat down on a barstool and put her elbows on the counter, resting her head in her hands.
“Really?” Kelly asked in surprise. She could really see Harris travelling hours to see it.
“Yep.”
“Well, where? When?” Cassidy asked.
“She’s going to announce that tomorrow on her advice blog that started it all.”
“Oh.” Kelly grunted. “Probably in California or something.”
“She said she was going to do it in her hometown. Of course, no one knows where that is.” Harris twisted an earring. “She’s going to tell us that tomorrow too. Probably waiting until the last minute so she doesn’t get mobbed at whatever venue she’s at.”
“Well, that’s something to look forward to,” Cassidy said in a tone that sounded more like a question.
“You seem down.” Harris’s serious eyes studied Kelly. “What’s wrong?”
Kelly hesitated.
Cassidy answered for her, picking Nissa up along with a sippy cup. “She broke up with Preston.”
“You want a girls’ night? I’m free,” Harris asked.
“No, I need to do something more than sitting around. I couldn’t sit still anyway.” Just look at her tonight. Pacing. “Too bad the activity center is completely finished except for the gym floor, which I can’t do.” She sighed. “I need to go find something to do.” She shifted Nessa. “I’ll help you get the twins in the car.”
“I’ll round up Jamal for you,” Harris said and started off.
Kelly and Cassidy chatted as they walked out. While Kelly was waiting for Cassidy to unlock the car, her phone rang. She pulled it out but almost didn’t answer it. Her ex-mother-in-law-to-be. They had a great relationship—so close to mother-daughter—that Kelly felt would continue even though Preston and she were no longer getting married, but she wasn’t completely sure about that. There was always that doubt since she wasn’t really a real part of the family. They’d never adopted her, but she’d lived with them, and they’d paid for her private high school.
“Hello?” she said, shifting Nessa higher on her hip.
“Kelly.” Mrs. Fitzsimmons’s cultured voice came over the phone. “I just spoke with Preston.”
She knew it, but her heart still shivered anyway. “He told you?”
“That you two broke up? Yes,” she said matter-of-factly. Her tone softened. “Are you okay?”
Her concern warmed Kelly’s heart. “I’m disappointed and not sure what I’m going to do, but emotionally, yes, I’m fine.” She blew a breath out. “When Preston was gone, I met someone, and I had a hard time remembering I was engaged. Preston deserves better.”
“I’m glad to hear you’re fine but less happy to know that you’ll be potentially joining another lucky family. You’ll have to tell me all about it. Do we know them?”
“Uh, not really,” Kelly hedged. She never should have worried about Mrs. Fitzsimmons. She was the same classy lady she’d always been, and she loved Kelly like her own daughter.
Bless her heart, Mrs. Fitzsimmons let it go. “You do know that you are always welcome here. No matter what.”
She had thought so. “It’s good to hear the reassurance.” She relinquished Nessa as Cassidy lifted her out of Kelly’s arms.
Mrs. Fitzsimmons seemed to hesitate for a moment before she said, “I, well, I have a favor to ask. I actually thought this might be a good thing for you.”
She paused, but before Kelly could say anything, she continued, “I understand you might be looking for some other ways to fund your charities. This afternoon, I got a call from the guest speaker for tomorrow night’s black-tie gala in Mansion Heights. Her husband went to the hospital this morning with pain in his stomach and is having emergency gall bladder surgery tomorrow. She won’t be able to make the gala. I thought you might be willing to fill in? The people are going to want to hear about Helping Hearts Charity, and you can do that, since you’re so intimately involved, but I thought you also might be able to give a few plugs for the things you’re doing now. You know, now that Preston is out of the picture. I just thought you might be...rebuilding.”
Tears pricked Kelly’s eyes again. Mrs. Fitzsimmons had always been so good to her. And there was no doubt in her mind where she’d learned resilience. It wasn’t coincidence that Mrs. Fitzsimmons was calling her now, when she knew that Kelly would be down.
“I love you. Thank you so much.”
“I love you, too, Kelly. Maybe we need to go shopping for an outfit? Would you be able to take an afternoon off work?”
“I’d love to.”
They made a time to meet, and Kelly hung up.
“Good news?” Cassidy asked.
“Yep. I have something to do.” Kelly looked around. While she’d been on the phone, Harris had come out with Jamal and they were strapped in the car. Kelly hadn’t even noticed. She shook her head. “The keynote cancelled at tomorr
ow’s charity at Mansion Heights, so Preston’s mom asked me to fill in.”
“So you’re speechwriting tonight?” Harris asked. “That’s great. You need help?”
“Nah. I’m basically talking about what I do all day. I’ll want to jot some notes down so I don’t ramble, but it’ll be easy.”
“All right. Well, I’d better get going before the kids figure out how to get out of their seatbelts,” Cassidy said with a wry grin.
“A very real possibility the longer they hang around their dad,” Harris said with a grin of her own.
At the mention of Torque, Kelly thought immediately about Tough. “I’m out of here, too,” she said, digging her phone out of her purse and pulling up the texting app. Her friends were right. It wouldn’t hurt to let him know.
I talked to Preston today. We ended everything. I just wanted you to know.
She hit send. Not that she was expecting him to come rushing to her side. Not that she expected anything out of him. She was simply letting him know, because maybe, just maybe, he would want to.
She walked to her car and got in. He hadn’t texted back. Maybe he was under a car or painting or... She shoved thoughts of Tough aside and started her car.
As she drove home, she thought about the salient points she wanted to make in her speech, not only about the charity for whom she worked, but also about the work she was doing on the side. She’d need a foundation or some kind of tax-exempt way of channeling the money. She seemed to recall Colton, from Cassidy and Torque’s wedding, was an accountant. Maybe he could help. Tomorrow she’d ask Cassidy for his number.
Until the donations started coming in, though, she’d need to figure out a way to make enough money to finish the renovations and fund the activity center.
She hadn’t figured anything out until she’d gotten home, showered, and sat in front of the fireplace, scratching down a rough outline for her speech. She’d given plenty of speeches in her lifetime, and this one didn’t worry her.
It was just after eight when someone knocked at her door. Her outline was done; she had just been fleshing it out some. She set the papers aside and stretched, looking at the clock. Who in the world would be visiting at this hour on a weeknight?
She opened the door. Tough stood on her stoop. His hair was still damp. He smelled like soap and aftershave. Despite the chill, he carried his coat in one hand and wore a collared, short-sleeved button-up shirt tucked into what looked like new jeans. And those cowboy boots.
Her heart drummed in her chest. She put a hand over her rioting stomach and opened the door wider. “Come in. It’s cold out.”
“Can you step out for a minute?” he asked.
“Let me get a jacket,” she said.
He held up the one she’d worn the night of the truck pull. She took it, stepping outside and closing the door behind her. His face gave nothing of his thoughts away, but the way he was dressed made her think he was going on a trip. Or visiting someone in the hospital. Heck, she had no idea. She’d never seen him look so nice, except for the tux, but that was a wedding and...
He took a deep breath, and he looked down into her eyes. “I got your text.”
“Good.” She nodded and twisted the sleeve of his jacket.
“You gave the ring back?” he asked. He glanced down at her hands as though checking, but her fingers were hidden under the too-long sleeves.
She shook her head, and his eyes clouded. “He wouldn’t take it.”
“Oh.”
“I’m gonna hock it.”
His teeth flashed white for just a second. “I might be able to help you with that.”
“Figured you could.” She shifted and twisted his sleeve the other way. “Is that why you came the whole way over here? To make sure I gave his ring back?”
“No.” He stared into her eyes but didn’t say anything more. His chest rose and fell like he’d run the whole way here. It matched her own inability to get enough oxygen into her lungs for some reason.
“Then...?”
He put a hand up, in a give-me-a-moment gesture, but instead of letting it fall back down, he moved closer and slid it over her cheek, cupping the back of her neck. “Kelly, I...”
His other hand came up, and he moved closer, their breath mingling. She lifted her own hands, moving them around his back, feeling the hard hotness under his shirt, the play of muscles as he moved his hands in her hair, the thump of his heart which beat almost violently against his ribs.
“I should have told you...” he began in a whisper. But his head leaned down, and he stopped talking as he kissed her forehead, the bridge of her nose, her cheeks.
Her knees trembled, and her fingers gripped his back. He lowered his hands, running them down her back and pulling her against him. Supporting her.
Feelings of warmth and safety mingled with the burning fire that spread from her chest through her belly, and she pushed closer still.
His lips hovered over hers, so close she could almost feel them. “I want to kiss you.” He closed his eyes. “I came here to...”
She lifted her head. Their lips touched. Shock waves crashed through her body, and suddenly as close as they were, it wasn’t enough. He must have felt it too, because he pushed closer, bending his knees, pressing his lips to hers. Sparks danced behind her eyes as she felt his tongue touch her lips. Then, suddenly, they were closer, and she was hot, then cold, and couldn’t think beyond the man in front of her, tasting him, touching him, being closer, wanting more.
A dog barked down the street. He lifted his head, panting. His eyes were slower to open; they lay at half-mast, roaming over her face.
“Can I say that was better than I ever thought it would be?” he asked, his voice husky and raw.
“I’m stunned, myself,” she said between pants.
“I’ve wanted to do that since I was about five.”
“I’m glad you waited. I’m still not sure I’m going to survive, and I wouldn’t have wanted to die young.”
He grinned, still close. His voice sent shivers down her spine. “You’re still young.”
“Is that what you came for?” she asked, smiling. Wishing he would kiss her again.
He laughed. The sound thrilled her soul. “No. Although if I’d known that was going to happen...” He laughed again. “Actually, I was definitely hoping it would happen.”
She raised her brows, hardly daring to believe it. “You came here planning on kissing me?”
His smile disappeared. “No. I came here planning on telling you something I should have told you Saturday, but I didn’t want to ruin our day.”
Her neck hairs pricked. “Are you going somewhere?”
“Not now.”
She glanced at his clothes. “You’re all dressed up.”
“I had to talk to you, and I wanted to wear something nice. Nicer.” He lifted a shoulder like it was no big deal.
“You look good. I love the boots.” She couldn’t stop her eyes from giving him another slow once-over.
His lips twitched, but then his face grew serious again. His hands, still around her back, rubbed up and down softly. “Mr. Millard came to see me last week. He’s selling the building, and he’s got a buyer already lined up.” Kelly gasped, but Tough kept talking. “The buyer only wants half, so I told him I could be out whenever the buyer closed. If all the paperwork goes through, they’re closing the day after tomorrow.”
“That’s why you were getting a phone number Saturday night.” She looked away, at the streetlights that lined the quiet street in front of her house. Was he saying he was leaving? Moving? Her heart slowed into painful thumps.
“Yeah.”
“So...you’re really leaving?” She didn’t really want to hear the answer.
“Yes. I called the number, and I’m driving there now to take him a check to hold the place.”
Her world reeled around her, like the bottom had fallen out and she was falling. Her hands gripped Tough, the only solid thing in her universe
. She forced her lips to move. “I see.”
He took a deep breath, and his hands tightened on her back. He closed his eyes, and his hands unclenched. “That’s not really what I came here to say, either.”
“Oh?” Hope blossomed in her chest. He was going to stay after all?
Seconds ticked by. A garbage can rattled. The trees shivered as a cool breeze blew across the yard. A few late-season oak leaves drifted slowly down in the porch light. Kelly waited, hardly daring to breathe.
A few drops of sweat glistened on Tough’s forehead before he finally opened his mouth. “Kelly, you’ve got to know how I feel about you. It’s not like I’ve hidden it. I know love scares you. Honestly, it scares me too. The only woman I ever loved died.”
His face twisted, and her heart clenched. His mother’s death had marked him deeply.
His eyes skimmed away before he forced them back to look at her. “So telling you I love you doesn’t mean much to you. But I do. I love you. Maybe it will help you some to realize that I’ve loved you since I was five. There’s some staying power there. It’s not a lifetime, but sixty years from now, it will be. I’ll love you then, too.”
“I—”
He held his hand up. Kelly closed her mouth and waited, her heart feeling like a bumper car in her chest. He slipped the hand back around her waist before continuing.
“I can’t give you what you want. Not like Preston could. There’s no way I can even come close to that level. I’m not sure I can even give you what you need.”
He cleared his throat and swallowed. “I’m going to lose customers with this move, but I scoured the internet last night to try to find a closer place. There’s no other property. I don’t have a choice, and I don’t know when the garage will be successful again. It takes time to build a business and earn the trust of people. Plus, my other...well, the gig is up.”
She wasn’t sure what he meant, but she couldn’t ask. Not now. She held his cheeks in her hands, just a little stubble roughing her skin. He closed his eyes and placed his hands over hers.
“I want you,” he whispered roughly. “I want you so bad. But I’ve just lost everything I’ve built, and I would never ask you to give up everything. I couldn’t.”
Tough Talk Page 17
