“Oh,” said Jeffery. “Well, it’s not like anyone’s going to miss a crusty old piece of fruit, is it?”
A shout came from the other room. “Hey, there’s been another theft! Someone stole Captain Avery’s Avocado!”
“Or maybe they will,” he continued.
Marri grimaced. “So much for getting in and out without a hitch.” She pointed to the door. “Everybody run!”
Run, pirate, run!
—Lyrics from “The Walking Pirate” by the infamous pirate bard Two-Eyed Jimmy the Cyclops
Flint, Parchment, Knife
They burst out of the front doors at full speed, the jade cylinder seal tucked safely in Anne’s pocket. Jeffery shot into the air and soared overhead. There was a chorus of shouts behind them. Anne risked a backward glance and saw several dozen guards pouring out of the museum in hot pursuit.
Instead of heading back to the platforms, Marri steered her chair into the first available alleyway. They sprinted the full length, swerving around piles of garbage and dodging hanging laundry. The thump of the guards’ heavy boots on the uneven cobblestones reverberated off the walls of the buildings. The adventurers bolted across the next street and down another alleyway. Then they took a third and a fourth. Luckily, the streets back to the dock were all downhill. At one point, Jeffery peeled off down another alley to coax some of their pursuers in the wrong direction. The shouts of the guards receded as they widened the gap, and after twenty minutes of zigzagging through the back alleys of the city, the guards were nowhere to be seen or heard. The four adventurers ducked into the entryway of a large wooden building and took a moment to catch their breath.
“Phew,” said Penelope, leaning against the wall. “I didn’t think we’d ever give those guards the slip.”
“This is bad,” said Hiro. “They’re going to put our faces on posters now, aren’t they? We’re going to be wanted criminals. We could do hard time for this. Not to mention, my mother’s going to kill me!” His breathing became quick and shallow.
“Don’t hyperventilate,” said Anne.
“Or at least wait until we’re back aboard the ship,” Penelope added.
Marri pointed down the street. “We’re nearly there. The dock is just at the bottom of this last alley.”
The door directly across from them opened, and a man in a long red robe stepped out. He looked familiar, but Anne couldn’t place him. The sign hanging beside the door read: WIZARDS’ COUNCIL PIRATE LIAISON OFFICE REAR ENTRANCE. The man’s eyes went wide as Anne realized who he was: Lieutenant Formaldehyde, the wizard who had let them leave Saint Lupin’s.
“Time to get moving,” she said. They took off.
“They’re here!” the lieutenant shouted.
At least ten guards in Wizards’ Council robes came out of the building at a dead run.
“Talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire,” said Penelope.
Marri headed straight down the steep slope toward the dock. Anne’s legs and arms were pumping so fast that she worried she would trip over her own feet and tumble the rest of the way. Her heart pounded in her chest, and her lungs burned from the effort. From the looks of it, neither Penelope nor Hiro were faring any better.
Just as they reached the bottom of the hill, a dozen museum guards sprang from various hiding places and blocked their path. Anne and the others were forced to stop short of the dock.
“Ah-ha! We have you now,” said one of the guards. The badge on his chest read CHIEF OF SECURITY.
The wizards from the Wizards’ Council came running up behind them.
“You don’t have anything,” said the lieutenant. “We’ve been chasing them since this morning. They’re our prisoners.” The other council wizards nodded their heads vigorously in agreement.
The chief pointed to Marri. “Oh yeah? Well, we’ve been after this thief since last night. She robbed the museum.”
Marri’s face remained as unreadable as ever.
“The news reports said the identity of the thief was unknown,” said the lieutenant.
“True. But then she returned today and stole an avocado.”
“Ah, but see now, that’s a separate incident. Doesn’t count as far as determining chronological priority goes.”
The chief grabbed the handle of his sword. “There are other ways of determining priority.” The rest of the museum guards also drew their swords, and the wizards from the council whipped out their spell books.
Marri tapped Anne’s leg and pointed at the docks. Anne nodded and poked both Penelope and Hiro. They casually stepped off to the side.
The lieutenant held up a hand. “Look, there’s no need for violence here. I’m sure we can come up with a way to settle this like civilized people who are only trying to capture these alleged criminals and subject them to some mildly uncomfortable interrogation techniques.”
Both sides relaxed slightly, although there was still definite tension in the air.
“Flint, Parchment, Knife?” suggested the chief.
The lieutenant nodded. “Agreed. Best two out of three?”
“How about three out of five? It always takes me a couple of rounds to get warmed up.”
“Fine.”
The chief of the museum guards and the lieutenant from the Wizards’ Council faced off. The rest formed a circle around them and began shouting out suggestions. The two combatants each tapped a fist against the palm of the other hand, and on the third tap showed a specific form. A cheer went up from the council wizards as the lieutenant showed knife and the chief showed parchment in the first round.
With the guards fully engaged, Anne and the others made their way down the dock toward the Blue Daisy. Another cheer went up from the council guards, along with a chorus of groans from the museum guards, as the lieutenant apparently took the second round as well.
“Don’t worry,” Anne heard the chief say. “I told you, it takes me a couple of rounds to get going.”
Upon reaching the ramp, the four of them dashed aboard. Jeffery was already there waiting for them, perched on the rail.
“What took you so long?” he asked.
“We ran into more trouble,” said Anne.
“Get us out of here, Mr. Locke,” said Marri. “Quietly.”
“Aye, Captain.”
Locke issued instructions in subdued tones. There were no shouted orders nor raucous laughter from the crew. Everyone moved as silently as possible to avoid alerting the two factions. The crew retracted the ramp and untied the ropes that secured the ship.
Just as the airship began to ease away, a shout came from the guards. “Hey, where did those thieves go?!”
There was a great commotion as the museum guards and council wizards rushed toward them. It didn’t matter, though, because by the time they reached the end of the dock, the Blue Daisy was well out of reach. Jeffery gave them a little wave, and then disappeared back into the gauntlet.
“To the ships!” yelled the council guards.
They hurried to a nearby dock where two large council warships awaited.
“All haste to the exit,” instructed Marri. “Let’s hope for a good crosswind.”
Locke returned to bellowing his orders, and the crew leapt into action. Several climbed the masts and began unfurling the sails.
“Um, how can we catch a crosswind inside a tier?” asked Hiro.
Marri pointed ahead. Anne watched as a ship in front of them drifted into the very center of the cavern. Its sails suddenly filled, and it shot toward the opening.
“There’s a crack on the opposite wall as well,” Marri explained. “It’s not big enough to sail a ship through, but it provides a decent boost.”
The two council ships were now on an intercept course with the Blue Daisy. One of them fired a single cannon, but the angle was poor and the shot went wide. Still, they were quickly catching up and could throw out grappling lines if they came close enough. The helmsman maneuvered the Blue Daisy into the center of the cavern. When it caught the crosswind,
it too leapt forward, and Anne had to place a steadying hand on a rail to keep from falling.
As they approached the exit, Marri called to a ship anchored off to the side. It was the same ship whose captain liked Marri’s goat’s milk.
“Ahoy, the Ticklish Duckfoot,” she called out.
“Ahoy, the Blue Daisy,” came the reply. The captain pointed to the two council ships. “Looks like someone’s taken an interest in you.”
“A simple misunderstanding,” said Marri. “Nothing we can’t handle.”
The captain smiled. “I’m sure. Still, if there’s anything I can do to help…”
Marri tapped her chin. “Well, I suppose if you were to block the exit for a few minutes after we leave—completely by accident, of course—I might consider it a favor.”
“I think I could see my way to doing that, if only to keep my supply of goat’s milk safe.”
“A crate of my very best to you the next time we meet if you can give us a five-minute head start.”
“Done!” cried the captain, and he began issuing orders at a furious rate.
The sailors aboard his ship worked with incredible speed, and the ship was soon moving. The council ships were picking up speed as well, but as the Blue Daisy entered the tunnel, the bow of the Ticklish Duckfoot drifted into their path. They were forced to veer away. The crews of the three airships exchanged insults, but the damage had been done. It would take several minutes for the Ticklish Duckfoot to clear the path and for the council ships to realign themselves with the exit.
Aboard the Blue Daisy, crew members once again called out the distances between the hull and the sides of the tunnel. Locke issued swift course corrections to the helmsman, even faster than during their entrance. As soon as the Blue Daisy was clear of the tier, Marri ordered them to engage the dragon-fire engines, and the ship sped off.
Thirty minutes later, the Blue Daisy was anchored beneath a jungle tier over a hundred miles away from the Haven. Jungle vines hung down from the edge of the tier, creating a curtain that made the ship difficult to spot but still allowed the crew to keep a lookout. Every once in a while, a Wizards’ Council airship could be seen patrolling in the distance, but none came close to finding the pirate ship in its hiding place.
While they kept watch, Anne shared with them what she’d read on the display cases. Unfortunately, neither Marri nor any of her crew had ever heard of the Lady of Glass or the Battle of the Great Rift.
Once Marri felt certain the danger had passed, she invited Anne, Penelope, and Hiro into the captain’s quarters. A low bunk was built into one wall, and a desk and bookshelf were bolted to the opposite wall. A small table occupied the center of the room. A bowl of dried flower petals sat on the shelf, and the cabin smelled like a mix of lavender and jasmine.
Hiro held the cylinder seal in his hand. “I can’t believe this belonged to my great-great-great-great-grandfather.”
“Really though, how great can one person possibly be?” asked Penelope.
Hiro placed the cylinder seal on the table. Marri retrieved a jar from the shelf labeled DOCTOR MUD’S FAST-DRYING CLAY. The jar contained a lump of pliable reddish-brown clay, and she worked it into a flat rectangle on the top of the table. Anne carefully pressed the cylinder seal into one end of the clay, rolled it across the surface, and lifted the seal away.
Everyone leaned in to study the impression.
“The writing is so tiny I can barely read it,” said Penelope.
“The words are all gibberish,” said Anne. “I thought reversing it would make it easier to figure out, but I still can’t decipher a single word.”
“It might be some sort of code,” suggested Marri. “For example, pirate maps always use a cipher so no one else can read them. Maybe the owner of this map didn’t want anyone to read it, either. But there’s almost always a clue to help you figure it out. You just have to know where to look.”
Everyone studied the clay tablet for several minutes as it hardened, but no one found anything that remotely looked like a clue on how to decipher the legend to the map.
“What about your GPS?” asked Marri.
“What about her GPS?” asked Jeffery as he appeared in a flash of light.
Marri pointed to the bookshelf. “You can eat written material to absorb the contents, correct?”
Jeffery nodded enthusiastically. “Absolutely! I always say the best way to read a book is to serve it for dinner. Why, do you have something for me?”
“Maybe,” said Anne. “Are you able to decipher coded texts?”
“Sure. Some of them leave a weird aftertaste, though.”
Hiro pointed to the cylinder impression on the clay tablet. “Can you decipher this?”
Jeffery hopped onto the table and sniffed the clay. “Gah! You want me to eat this?” He held a wing over his beak and started staggering around the table.
“It’s really important,” said Anne.
“This map contains the directions to the High Castle,” said Marri. “If we don’t decipher it, we’ll never complete the quest.”
“Can’t we just ask someone for directions?” asked Jeffery.
“No,” said Anne. “I know this isn’t exactly ideal, but we really need you to do this. We’ve already used up several hours just getting the cylinder, and the clock is ticking. If there was any other way, I would try it, but you’re our only hope.”
Jeffery sighed. “The things I do for this group.”
“What, like insult us?” asked Penelope.
“Exactly. Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to keep coming up with zingers?”
Anne broke off a corner of the clay tablet and held it out to Jeffery. He sniffed it again, gagged slightly, and then plucked it out of her hand with his beak. He started to swallow, but then paused.
“Is something wrong?” asked Anne.
“Just how old is this?” asked Jeffery, his beak full of clay.
“You mean the clay?” asked Marri. “I just bought it a few weeks ago.”
Jeffery swallowed. “No, I mean the map legend. It tastes like some pirate’s stinky old socks. Blech!”
Anne tore off another piece and fed it to him. He tipped his head back and swallowed it whole.
“It’s like someone took the bandages off an ancient mummy, wiped their feet on them, invited their neighbors to wipe their feet on them just for good measure, and then turned the bandages into this code.”
He choked down several more pieces, making gagging noises with each swallow.
Halfway through, Jeffery held out his wings and examined them. “My color isn’t looking so good.”
“You’re a rainbow-colored sparrow,” said Hiro. “How can you tell?”
“My blues feel muted.”
Marri maneuvered her chair over to the bookshelf and removed a small volume. She returned and placed the book on the table.
“What’s that?” asked Jeffery, perking up slightly.
“Incentive,” said Marri. “It’s a book of terrible pirate poetry. I’ve never particularly liked it, but it was a gift and I never felt quite right throwing it away. If I have to sacrifice it for the sake of the quest, though…” She tore out one of the pages and fed it to Jeffery. He snapped it up and swallowed it quickly.
“Ah! Delicious!” he said. “I mean, yeah, this author couldn’t rhyme to save his life, but anything is better than that ancient clay torture meal garbage thing.”
Alternating between pieces of clay tablet and pages of terrible pirate poetry, Jeffery eventually managed to eat the entire legend. When he was finished, he lay on the table, slowly rocking back and forth.
“That was awful,” he croaked.
Marri spread the map out next to Jeffery.
Jeffery waved her away. “Thanks, but I couldn’t possibly eat another bite. Save it for me, though.”
“This isn’t for you to eat,” said Marri. “This is the map of the Hierarchy we need you to decode. Can you show us the location of the High Castl
e?”
“It’s in my belly, sitting there like a cannonball.”
Anne placed her hands on her hips. “The whole point of you eating the legend was so you could decipher the map and tell us how to get there!”
Jeffery stopped his rocking. “Before I tell you where it is, I want you to acknowledge that I’m only the messenger. It’s not my fault if the castle is someplace you’re not going to like, right?”
“Just tell us already,” said Penelope.
“Because I’m telling you, you’re not going to like it.”
“Now you’re just stalling,” said Hiro.
“Of course I am. How else do you expect me to delay telling you what it says?”
“Is he always like this?” asked Marri.
Jeffery glanced at the shelf. “Any chance I can wash the map down with a nice short story? Preferably a light comedy?”
“Jeffery!” the four of them yelled in unison.
“Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
He crawled over to the map, studied it for a moment, and then pointed at an area in the right-hand corner.
Anne could tell by the expression on Marri’s face that the answer wasn’t good.
“What’s the problem?” asked Anne.
“That’s the Dead Zone,” said Marri, her voice barely above a whisper. “Everyone avoids it. No one even ventures near it.”
“So, you’re saying if we go there we have to be very careful?” asked Penelope.
“No, I’m saying if we go there we might never return.”
THE PICKLED LEMON’S GUIDE TO BEING STEALTHY RECOMMENDS THE FOLLOWING RESOURCES:
When it comes to the art of tiptoeing around, there are several volumes every sneak should have on the shelf. The Stealthy Person’s Guide to Being Stealthy is an obvious choice and has twenty-four chapters filled with step-by-step instructions (accompanied by color illustrations) on how to make yourself stealthier. It also has one chapter on how to make the perfect baked potato, because, hey, even stealthy people sometimes crave complex carbohydrates. The second book on the list is Spies, Lies, and Flies, a book about spying and lying and common house flies. The final book is What to Do After You’ve Gotten Yourself Caught Because You’re Not Nearly as Stealthy as You Thought You Were. That one should be self-explanatory.
The Adventurer's Guide to Treasure (and How to Steal It) Page 9
