by Caisey Quinn
My eyes fell on the fabric he held and my mouth dropped open. I’d never seen anything like it. The top was a-symmetrical one-sleeved sheer black with some type of black fabric floral appliqué covering the important parts. It was belted with what looked leather and the skirt was billowing black satin with a massive slit up the left leg, all the way to the waistline.
“It’s amazing.” I sat in awe of the fashion creation feeling like I should get on my knees and worship this dress. “Do you really think I can pull that off?”
“Every man there is going to want to pull it off,” Drew teased. “Well, except the two of us that is.”
My heart did a happy little flutter in my chest. “It really is beautiful. James, where did you find it?”
“It was no trouble. A friend owed me a favor. It’s Christian Siriano but it’s not out yet. It’s a preview piece from next year’s collection.” He downplayed his own awesomeness and I added humble to his list of traits I loved about him.
I jumped up and hugged them both. “I love you guys. If you want to formally adopt me, I can move my stuff in next week.”
Drew grinned. “Think of us as you’re fairy godfathers. We can fix you up, find the perfect dress, and also kick someone’s ass for you if needed.”
Ivory laughed. “Damn, I need some fairy godfathers. That really is some dress. You’re going to knock them dead tonight, love.”
I thanked her, then she ran the guys out and said she would help me put on the dress. As soon as they were gone, she pointed to the door where the toilet was. “Go empty your bladder. Now. Once we get that thing on, we’re going to need a team to help you go to the bathroom.”
I could see what she meant. The skirt was something right off the runway. Literally.
I did as I was told. Once I was finished, we began the five-step process of dressing me without touching my hair or makeup. It involved Ivory standing on a step-stool.
Before I made it to the full-length mirror, I knew the dress was a hit from the look on her face. She covered her mouth with one hand before I turned around.
Seeing it for myself was like looking at a stranger. A beautiful stranger I almost recognized but couldn’t quite place.
The black feathers on the shoulder with the sleeve had made me a little nervous, but once I saw it on, my nerves evaporated.
Suddenly I was Katniss Everdeen and this was my magic dress. If I twirled, I was likely to catch fire.
With the skin of my cleavage and one full leg showing, I felt like a sexy NSFW princess.
All morning, I’d been dreading seeing Aiden and his future wife. But now, seeing this adult version of myself and finally owning the years and struggles it had taken me to become her, I wanted to see him.
I wanted him to see me.
Apparently when you’re one of the contributing artists to an exhibit at a major museum, you arrive long before the guests do for an intimate cocktail hour with the Very Important People.
I brought Drew and James with me and we enjoyed a museum tour and meeting with the head event coordinator, Claire St. John. She was Brazilian elegance in a white dress with a large ruffle up one side that would’ve made my Vera Wang wrap dress look like a potato sack. I was even more grateful for James’s magical powers as I stood next to her.
She asked questions about my piece and my mother and touched me tenderly on the arm as she offered her condolences. She named-dropped a few people I might want to mingle with later but it was all so surreal I could hardly focus on anything specific anyone said.
A large portion of my brain had already dedicated itself to spotting Aiden before he saw me. I wanted time to prepare myself, to brace for impact so that my emotions wouldn’t show. I refused to wear my heart on a Christian Siriano sleeve.
“It’s such a bold statement,” Claire said, gesturing to the four pedestals. The first held a sculpture of a vibrant young female figure, the second held a similar figure but she was pregnant and kneeling, on the third she was hollowed out and lying down. The fourth pedestal displayed a plaster heart that had been crushed mostly to crumbling pieces and dust but you could still make out the shape. “When I saw it in the Chicago Tribune, I knew we had to have it for this event,” she continued. “The dust broke my heart. And I wasn’t sure I still had a heart.”
I smiled warmly. “Thank you. I’m so glad you reached out and allowed me to be a part of this event.”
Truthfully, I’d worried the broken pieces and dust on the forth pedestal were too pretentious, but in the end that’s what was left of my mother. So I’d kept it. Claire’s comment reassured me that I’d made the right decision. When it had shown in Chicago, patrons seemed to grasp the concept well. I was glad I’d taken the risk.
I vowed then and there to continue taking risks. Even if I got my own heart crushed to dust a time or two.
The night continued in a whirlwind of drinks and fancy finger foods and elegant people introducing me to more elegant people. At times it was like I was having an out of body experience. Floating above it all and watching someone else’s life. At others, I felt like a child playing dress up in a sophisticated grown up world to which I did not belong.
Drew and James mingled but stayed close for moral support, which helped tremendously. A few of their friends came and congratulated me, offering up hugs instead of handshakes and I relaxed a little more as they continued to bring me champagne.
During the few brief moments when I had time to breathe, I stepped back and took it all in. The fountain, the lights, the beauty of the Met of the amazing opportunity I’d been given. In a way, I felt as if my mother was there with me. Reminding me that I’d worked hard and was worthy.
Several people, including one well-known art critique, inquired as to when I was opening my own gallery.
It was like having my official artist card stamped and validated. I had arrived.
Grand nights like this were exactly what I thought making it should look like, but something about it felt as hollow as my sculpture. Part of me wanted to be back in my tiny loft working. Hiding.
After Claire made her introductory welcome speech to the guests, the one man I’d been scanning the crowd for all night finally arrived.
I felt his presence before I saw him.
Everything inside my body tensed and the buzz from the champagne evaporated instantly.
Drew made a beeline for me and I forced a smile.
“I saw him,” I said on an exhale. “I’m okay.”
I could do this. I would survive.
He was here now. And heading right for me. What other choice did I have?
29
Emersyn
The lighting in the museum consisted of meticulously placed blue hued spotlights and about a million candles, casting a romantic vibe across the room.
Looking like a Greek god someone should sculpt immediately, and much broader than I’d remembered, Aiden stood in what looked like a designer charcoal suit with a skinny silk tie.
I’d had advance warning. I should’ve been prepared to see him. And I was.
I just wasn’t prepared for his reaction when he saw me.
He was across an entire pool of water when his eyes finally found mine, but that didn’t stop electricity from striking like lightening between us.
He belongs to someone else now. Stop yourself.
His face broke into the most incredible smile and I felt mine do the same.
I had no chill. I couldn’t help it.
He taught me to love. He taught me to let go and let myself fall into something bigger than me. He taught me how to pull back the façade of who I was supposed to be and let someone else see the darkest corner of my soul—places I hadn’t known existed inside myself.
I was so happy to see him again, those blue eyes flashing to mine reflecting the same joy. For a moment, my heart was whole again and in danger of bursting.
Drew groaned from beside me. “Neither of you has a poker face to save your lives.”
&n
bsp; I watched as he made his way to me, the blonde at his side and another man behind them. I steeled myself the best I could, breathing deeply in through my nose and slowly out though my mouth.
Today, the man who had taught me so much, was about to teach me how to handle my hurt. How to accept the devastating loss of a piece of my heart forever while holding my head high.
“Relax,” Drew said softly. “I’m right here if you need me.”
My mind drifted back to riding in his Jeep, to making love in an Airstream, to that first day in his classroom. To the insanity of my life back then. To our goodbye in California. All of which had somehow led us here.
When his group finally navigated the crowd to reach me, I made every effort to give them the most genuine smile I could manage.
“You’re late, Mr. Singleton,” I teased. “Must be nice to be so young, carefree, and negligent with other people’s time.”
Drew laughed loudly before giving me a look that said nicely done.
Aiden dropped his head. He looked up at me from under his impossibly long, dark lashes. “Guess I deserved that one.”
He shook Drew’s hand and told him it was nice to see him again.
My breathing slowed and I mentally patted myself on the back for handling this better than expected.
“I’m glad you could make it,” I said, surprised at the truth in my words. My heart didn’t care that he brought his future wife with him. My heart was happy to see him. “And that you brought…”
The woman with them smiled widely at me. She was so gorgeous it hurt to look at her. Her black knee-length strapless pencil dress fit like it was made for her shapely athletic body.
“Sophia Murphy,” she introduced herself, reaching out a manicured hand. She had a sexy, raspy voice and a firm handshake. “Your work is beautiful. I have to confess, I looked you up online last night after Aiden told me you’d invited us and you have some amazing pieces in your collection. What an incredible talent you have.”
She was so sweet and authentic, I couldn’t muster up a single reason to dislike her.
“Thank you so much. That’s very kind of you,” I heard myself say, but it was muffled, as if my head was under water.
“Emersyn, you remember my brother, Axel,” Aiden said as his brother stepped forward.
I almost didn’t recognize him. Axel was clean shaven, tanned, and wearing a suit similar to Aiden’s but in midnight black.
“Good to see you again, Emersyn,” Axel greeted me. “Congratulations on…” he waved a hand around. “All of this.”
I smiled back at him. “Thank you. And thank you for coming. There’s an open bar over there and some amazing food.”
Sophia laughed heartily, a sound like wind chimes made of champagne flutes. “Aw, Honey. Look, she does remember you.”
Honey? Did she just call Axel honey?
Aiden must’ve seen the confusion on my face. “Sophia is Axel’s fiancee,” he informed me, leaning forward, whispering conspiratorially. “I don’t actually have one, but I didn’t want to correct you in a text message. Especially since it was the first one I’d received in a while.”
The bottom dropped out of my stomach.
“Oh, um…” I glanced helplessly at Drew, who thankfully broke in.
“That’s my fault. I was having dinner in Tribeca the evening of the engagement party. I must’ve misunderstood.”
Drew tossed me an apologetic grimace.
“It’s okay,” Sophia said, mostly to Drew. “I tell Axel all the time if he acts up, I’m going to trade him in for the younger model.” Everyone chuckled lightly at her teasing. Axel rolled his eyes. I was still taking in all the life-changing information as she continued. “My family is from Brooklyn. My grandparents still live here and aren’t in good enough health to travel to the wedding,” she told us. “That’s why we came all this way to have an engagement party.”
“That’s really sweet of you to do for them,” I said, trying to contain how thrilled I was that she wasn’t engaged to Aiden. I could quite literally kiss her face. Might make things awkward though, so I restrained myself. Barely.
Sophia shrugged. “They practically raised me. If I hadn’t been offered an amazing job in Charlotte, I never would’ve left New York.”
“Lucky for me,” Axel added.
Sophia and Drew engaged in a side conversation about how fabulous New York was and what she did for a living. Something about environmental science from what I could hear.
I couldn’t focus. Everything I thought I knew had changed and I didn’t know what to say now. Or how to conduct myself. The steel wall I’d erected around my heart was no longer necessary but it wasn’t exactly coming down on command.
Once they’d finished talking, Drew waggled his eyebrows at me. My gaze slid over to Aiden.
Single, not engaged Aiden.
Axel gave him a nudge, then put his arm around Sophia. “We’re going to grab a drink. Can we get anyone anything?”
“I’m good, but thank you,” I said, glad I’d finally figured out how to make my mouth move again. Drew and Aiden echoed my response.
We watched as they turned and made their way to the bar area.
“So…” Drew began once it was just the three of us, “My bad about the engagement mix up. I’m going to go find my better half and let you two kids catch up.”
He was gone before I could tell him he didn’t have to leave.
Aiden’s eyes locked on mine and I was instantly seventeen again.
My breathing was labored, my heart skipped beats all over the place. My poor champagne-filled stomach rode a roller coaster with a dozen vertical loops.
I swallowed thickly and tried to bring some moisture to my mouth.
“You look beautiful, Emersyn,” Aiden said, breaking the thick silence. “Stunning, actually. You took my breath away when I saw you. But then, you’ve always done that.”
My chest rose and fell as I breathed in his words.
“Thank you,” I said softly. “I thought…” I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter now, I guess. But when I heard you were getting married…It threw me I guess. More than I should probably admit.”
He nodded. His voice was solemn when he spoke. “I can imagine. When I saw that handsome older gentleman standing near you when I first walked in,” he jerked his chin toward where James stood talking with Drew. “I thought I was too late. Sophia offered to pretend to be mine just to help me save face.”
“Too late?”
He moved from me to my sculpture without answering my inquiry.
“James will be delighted to know you said he was handsome,” I offered to fill the awkward silence. “But he’s Drew’s husband, not mine.”
Aiden’s mouth quirked into a boyish grin. “This is really something,” he began. “I don’t know all the fancy art terms to describe it but when I look at it, I feel it in my chest. I would’ve known it belonged to you even if no one told me.”
My tummy turned another loop. His words said a lot more than any fancy art terms ever could.
“Thank you.” I watched as he read the inscriptions on each pedestal. Quotes from the final letter from my mother I’d imposed into the columns.
It was then that I noticed the slight drag in his gait. I moved to stand beside him. “I’m sorry about your knee.”
The NHL had been his dream, and he’d made it. Briefly. I couldn’t imagine how I’d feel if I woke up tomorrow and couldn’t use my hands anymore to do what I loved.
“It’s okay,” he said quietly. “And thank you.”
All of the overt politeness was killing me. It felt so forced. So not us. But then, we weren’t us anymore. I had to keep reminding myself. Time had passed. Everything had changed.
So why did it feel like nothing had?
He was quiet for a moment, still reading. He stood before the hollowed out figure I’d sculpted.
“It was a wild ride at first. Literally a dream come true. But then…”
With bated breath, I waited for him to finish.
His blue eyes collided with mine. “Something was always missing.”
My heart seized in my chest as if he’d gripped it with his fist.
I nodded, understanding exactly what he meant.
I’d invited him tonight because I didn’t want to have this night without him. I’d needed him here for it to feel complete—even if it meant suffering.
Seeing him now was like stepping into a dream I’d been having for years. The one where he was real enough touch. I didn’t want to wake up tomorrow and him be gone again.
“Aiden,” I began, uncertain of what was about to come out of my mouth. “I wanted to—”
“Emersyn,” Claire St. John interrupted, appearing at the worst possible moment. “I need to introduce you to Lyle Ascott.” She gestured to a man around her age, mid-forties if I had to guess, that she’d brought over with her. We shook hands. “Lyle is the owner of the Dufresne Gallery in Manhattan. He’s considering purchasing your piece tonight and wanted to see about possibly showing it with some more of your work in the Spring.”
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Ascott,” I said.
“Lyle, please. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” His eyes skimmed appreciatively over me. “My, I didn’t expect you to be so young.”
“Been there,” Aiden mumbled only loud enough for me to hear. I stifled a giggle.
“Claire, Lyle,” I said while turning to include him, “this is Aiden Singleton. He’s a, um, friend of mine from back home and we were just catching up.”
They greeted him politely. Claire spotted someone she had to speak to and left the three of us alone.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt your reunion,” Lyle said. “Here’s my card.” He handed me a marble printed business card that felt like satin in my hand. “Contact me when you’re free and we can talk more about the spring showcase.”
My own showcase? I had to work my voice out of my throat to thank him as I placed his card in my clutch.
Once he was gone, Aiden looked uneasy. I moved close enough to tough him.
