by Silver Nord
Fortunately, Aleister’s ego was as big as a house. I don’t think it even occurred to him that he was being played. “Excellent. I do appreciate your loyalty. You have a great mind. I’m sure that riddle will be unravelled by you soon.”
“I’ll start work on it immediately,” I promised. “I look forward to the Council helping Wormwood in its time of need. I’ll report the first sign of lawbreaking I see. It’s wonderful to have a governing body who will defend those too weak to defend themselves.” I was locked in a staring contest for a moment with Aleister as he tried to work out what I was really saying and if it was a threat. I just kept a neutral expression on my face. “Wormwood won’t forget the Witch Council’s aid in their hour of need.”
“Quite,” Aleister said, looking rather uncomfortable. “I hope to hear news soon,” he said, removing the magical capsule and swishing his cape-like coat around before un-clouding the windows and leaving the shop.
As soon as the door closed my aunts burst out of the kitchen.
“What happened? Are you under arrest? He didn’t find any of the illegal substances, did he?” Linda asked, biting her pink nails.
“No, I’m not under arrest.” I frowned. “What illegal substances?”
“Nothing,” Aunt Linda said, far too quickly. I made a mental note to go through the stock later and check exactly what the shop was selling.
“He was looking for my father. He heard Constantine telling me a riddle I needed to find him and he thinks I solved it,” I explained.
My aunts exchanged a look. “Did you solve it?”
I pulled a face, looking in the direction of the door. After all Aleister’s talk about spying and listening in, I was nervous about saying anything at all.
“Don’t worry about it. Your father made Wormwood a no go zone for spy tech. Why do you think that surveillance cameras don’t work here?” Minerva said, raising her eyebrows.
“He mentioned something along those lines,” I replied, remembering that he’d confessed it was a magic-tech mishap. “I can’t believe Constantine could be so stupid to say that… oh,” I said, realising that I was the stupid one.
Constantine had known what he was doing all along. He’d been well aware that Aleister would listen to our conversation and he’d wanted to give the pot of trouble a big stir, managing to interfere even whilst incarcerated.
“This is exactly the reason why your father wanted everyone to think he was dead and buried - even at the cost of losing you for good. Staying out of contact wasn’t enough in the end, people were always looking for him. He had us spread the rumour that he had permanently disappeared, believed to have met with foul play,” Minerva explained. “It worked perfectly. Everyone stopped looking for him and he was able to live in peace. We discussed it at length and concluded it would be unfair to tell you any of it. I’m sorry we couldn’t share the truth, but it was too risky for you to try to contact him. I think what’s happening now is evidence that it was the right decision… it’s all happening again.”
“Because you opened your big mouth to your lover boy!” Linda sniped, still looking ridiculously smug that for once she wasn’t the one who’d done something silly.
I gritted my teeth, not sure whether to feel outraged over another concealment, or to be understanding that it was my father’s wishes. After all, even when he hadn’t been permanently missing, he’d never been a part of my life. I’d thought it was something to do with the Salem family and Constantine’s interference, but now I knew that was mostly a lie, too.
“Why did Constantine know the riddle of how to find him?” I asked.
“We knew it, too. He told three people for safekeeping, in case anyone forgot. We would have told you when things were quieter, but around here, things never seem to be quiet,” Minerva said.
“But only Minerva was responsible for keeping that secret invention somewhere up her sleeve!” Linda pointed out, still looking mightily peeved. “Apparently, I can’t keep quiet about important things! Even though I totally can. For example, I’ve never told anyone about the time you accidentally ate a cake that had worms in it.”
Minerva glared at her sister. “First of all, you just told Hazel, and secondly, you were the reason it had worms in! You dug them up from the garden and put them there. Those poor things…”
“Excellent source of protein,” Linda informed me.
Minerva threw her hands up in the air. “Let’s get back to the matter at hand! Aleister is clearly searching for the weapon and Hazel’s father again. He’s even enlisted a low-down, slimy gang to do his dirty work for him, so he can keep his hands clean. We need to make sure he doesn’t get it, and we also need to make sure that Hazel’s father, James, is safe for good. It’s not fair that he has to keep running and hiding. This has to end, once and for all.”
“What do you propose? Turning them into slime seemed like a great solution for the Witch Council, until that snake Constantine double-crossed us all, thinking he could slide on into power,” Linda said.
“That was the reason why you turned them into slime?” I said, realising that, once again, I’d been left out of the loop. Something else jumped into place when I looked at the past in a new light. “Hang on, did my father come up with a way to turn them into slime in the first place?”
The guilty looks were all the answer I needed.
“I knew it was an unlikely piece of magic,” I muttered. It was something I’d never understood. Even with the combined power of a Grand Coven, I’d not been able to see how Linda had been able to turn the tables on the entire Council.
“I still don’t understand how it worked myself, but it was a magical invention that used everyone’s power in a way the Witch Council could never have seen coming. We were all very grateful to James that day. As well as saving himself, he saved the rest of us from the tyranny that had begun to spread through their ranks,” Linda said, shaking her head at the solemn memory. “See… we weren’t covering that up. Aleister Root had turned into something terrible. When Constantine turned him back, we all held our breath, hoping that his time as slime had given him plenty of years to consider what he’d become. Even though they arrested me for crimes against the Council, I really thought he had changed his tune.”
“It was right after the Council became slime that your father disappeared in a permanent fashion. With the Witch Council gone, it was easy to put the word out to the other interested parties. They were simpler to fool, and even when the Council returned to power, the story was ingrained. It would have stayed that way… until Constantine interfered again,” Minerva said, looking older than I’d ever seen her.
“So… what now?” I said, feeling like the world was heaping problem upon problem on us at the moment.
“Now we have to clean up the mess that Constantine made and put everything back to rights. Aleister Root’s hired goons have got to go. Root himself has got to go. And that evil, conniving woman who put my darling Jon up to the things he did has got to go,” Minerva finished, her fist clenching when she said the last one.
“I second that,” I said, thinking of the final one, too. She was getting way too cosy with the detective. I just wanted to look out for his career and make sure that he didn’t make any professional errors.
“Right… not necessarily in that order,” Aunt Linda commented, looking at us both like we were crazy.
I looked at Minerva and she looked back at me.
Linda rolled her eyes and walked over to the shelf, grabbing a box of tea and flinging it towards us both. “I hope this stuff really works because you two have got it bad!”
I looked down at the label on the box.
Green With Env-Tea
12
Bombs Away
I woke up the next morning to a pair of blue eyes just a few inches away from my own.
Perhaps the normal reaction to a kitten being in your face when you woke up would be to melt with the cuteness of it… but there was something alarming about the way
Artemis seemed to be focusing.
“Hemlock!” I called, somehow knowing this was his doing. “Why is he staring?”
“I don’t know. He does that a lot,” a tired voice came back to me. “I think he’s plotting evil. It’s totally unfair. Plotting evil used to be my thing until I had kids. Now I’m just a washed-up parent who can barely summon the energy to use his opposable thumbs for evil. He’s taken my dreams away from me.”
I sat up - very carefully - and rolled my eyes at Hemlock, who was sulking in the chair by my bed. “How terrible for you,” I told him, not meaning a word of it. I tentatively reached out a finger and stroked the kitten’s head. He purred, never taking his eyes off me. Creepy kitten, I thought, wondering if it was something he would grow out of. Hemlock had claimed that the reason he’d had Artemis palmed off on him was because he was ‘troublesome’. Somehow, I suspected there was more to it than a problem with personal privacy and static electricity.
“I don’t suppose you secretly have the power to blow up the Witch Council, run a gang out of town, and foil an evil plan for world domination?” I asked him. Unless I was much mistaken, his ears pricked up at the mention of world domination.
“Awww, he takes after his father,” I said, but Hemlock didn’t look happy.
“He can’t take my dreams before I achieved them! I refuse to become the parent who failed in his own life and pressures his kid into achieving his dreams for him.”
I smirked. “How noble of you.”
Hemlock muttered something about how he was going to pay me back for not taking him seriously. I made a mental note to triple check my shampoo and conditioner the next time I used them, as well as any food products that hadn’t been sealed.
“Erebus!” Hemlock called. The large hellhound trotted into the room, wagging his tail. I watched Hemlock jump on his back and sit up tall and proud, like a knight upon his steed.
“Erebus, you shouldn’t let him take advantage of you like that. You’re better than he is.”
“Hey! You’re not supposed to show favouritism!” Hemlock protested, his tail lashing. “Erebus, to war! Our adversary is the fridge door. It’s time to put these thumbs to work. Yah!” he shouted, making Erebus gallop off towards the kitchen.
“Aunt Minerva! Put a protective spell on the fridge!” I shouted, knowing that she would already be up making coffee.
“Done!” she called back.
I shook my head. Hemlock’s thumbs were really becoming a problem. Before, cupboards and fridge doors had foiled him, but now he was able to get into almost anything he wanted. My aunts did their best to put spells of protection on the cupboards, but that involved removing the spells and reinstating them every time the door was opened.
I thought good old fashioned padlocks might be the answer.
I pushed myself more upright and realised Artemis was still on the bed, watching me. “Are you going to tell me what it is that’s so troublesome about you?” I asked, genuinely curious about the new addition.
He purred in response, giving me the distinct impression he knew exactly what I was saying.
“I hope for all of our sakes that your secret ability involves slaying monsters from the dark dimension.”
The small kitten yawned and curled up on my chest, making it impossible to move.
Or maybe it’s just disrupting my life with inconvenience, I thought, before remembering that all cats had that special ability. But look at him! I can’t disturb him when he’s settled! I thought, sharing the mantra of all cat owners.
Even more tourists arrived this morning. The mayor was once again present at the guided tour shop, and I was treated to the full dramatics of the gloating man. All fictional doubts he’d shared about wondering if he was really doing the right thing had well and truly vanished. To add to my discomfort, the tourists who’d arrived in the first two busloads were still in town. I saw the ghost hunters wander by with a weird collection of homemade instruments. They looked excited when Mr Sneebley walked by, before realising that he was just a man dressed in a druid costume and not actually a ghost.
I was still smiling a little at this lighthearted interlude, when the door to the shop swung open and an unwelcome voice met my ears.
“Yes, I’m basically forced to come here. It’s about time a competitor opened up,” Natalia Ghoul said loudly as she walked in.
I kept my back turned to her and bit my tongue as I pretended to straighten the jars of herbs I kept behind the counter. I needed a few seconds to calm down before dealing with her today. I’d actually dissolved her role in the blackmail-based agreement my mother had set up with the Ghoul family a long, long time ago, when the shop had needed all the patronage it could get. At first, I’d been just like my mother, clawing onto every bit of business I could get, but things were different now. I’d decided that I’d rather have peace and quiet than put up with the Ghouls visiting.
Unfortunately, the Salem Apothecary was the only one in town, which meant that whenever they needed spell supplies last minute, they had to stop by. Or in this case, she needed to stop by because the way out of town was currently impassable.
“I’ve always loved the idea of having my own shop. I’m great with natural herbs and things like that!” another voice said in reply.
It took me a second or two to realise where I recognised the voice from. I turned around to see Amber Leroux inspecting my live plant selection with her nose in the air.
“Not wearing your balaclava today?” I said, not caring if I was going to cause trouble. The less welcome this odious woman felt in town, the better.
She blinked. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Would you mind telling me how much money you make? I’m thinking of opening a business just like this…” She left it unsaid but heavily implied that hers would be much, much better.
For a moment, I was sorely tempted to encourage the idea and even see if I could broker some sort of property deal for her in the next few days. But firstly, quitting on saving Wormwood just so that this woman would lose her investment was morally wrong, and secondly, not even the fastest deal could take place so soon.
“What can I do for you today?” I asked Natalia, flatly ignoring her annoying companion.
“Where’s your aunt? I want to give her a piece of my mind over what she did to my husband. I still don’t understand why she hasn’t been dragged off in chains. It’s utterly ridiculous given the evidence against her,” Amber said, shaking her head.
I considered Amber’s magical aura and shook my head. “You don’t want to meet Minerva,” I told her for her own good. Normally, I would have been able to rely on my aunt to sort this situation out coolly and pragmatically, but her feelings for her false fiancé had definitely clouded her judgement. While Amber may be cocky on the outside, I knew my aunt had her outgunned when there weren’t actual guns involved.
“I want some dried heather and dead nettle blooms,” Natalia commanded, ignoring her prattling new friend.
I obliged, filling paper bags with both. I wondered what kind of luck spell she was cooking up. Lucky heather was a classic, but no amount of luck would get the town out of this sticky situation. And no amount of luck would mean you could dodge the teeth and claws of the dark dimension’s monsters forever.
She shoved the money across the counter and practically dragged her new friend out of the shop. “Come on. We’ll go to The Cursed Coffeeshop. At least there we can get decent service,” I heard her say.
Maybe that’s why she needs the luck spell, I thought with a self-satisfied smirk. The Cursed Coffeeshop served coffee so old, it had ceased to taste anything like coffee and resembled mud instead. If you checked their most recent hygiene rating, it might actually be made of something much worse than mud.
My smile faded moments later when I considered the implications of Amber sticking around. It was clear that she was setting herself up to be a thorn in my side, and how long would it be before Natalia petitioned to have her join the Wormw
ood Coven? Our ranks were full at the moment, after I’d called one of the backup recruits from the last time we’d added new witches. However, I wouldn’t put it past her to arrange for an unfortunate accident, or for one of the newer members to experience a sudden change of heart. I strongly resented bringing an armed robber - and quite possibly a killer - into the coven’s ranks.
It may never happen, I thought, placating myself that there wasn’t much time for any of this to come to fruition, but it was small comfort. In any case, you had to think on the bright side. If Wormwood survived the coming festival, I did not want to see Amber Leroux’s annoying, cutesy face on a daily basis.
“That slippery woman!” I muttered, thinking thoughts so dark that even Green With Env-Tea couldn’t shift them. I pursed my lips as I considered several reckless actions, before I hit on what might be a solution that didn’t involve whining to DCI Admiral - who wasn’t going to listen anyway. I needed to find someone as slippery as Amber Leroux in order to beat her at her own game… and I knew just the person.
I never expected to be running happily through the streets of Wormwood the next morning, but unexpected things happened in Wormwood all the time.
I thought Jesse had been almost as surprised as I was when he’d come through with the information. Prior to handing it over, he’d blamed lean times and his ban on making deals (instated by me) for him having the time to snoop into the life of my newest enemy. Jesse might have lamented having too much free time on his hands and nothing to do with it, but what he’d found more than made up for it.
“See what you can do when you put your mind to it and don’t try to trick your way out?” I’d said patronisingly, patting his hellhound, Hecate. She’d rumbled her approval and rested her head against me, clearly asking if I’d take her away from her idiot owner. I’d given her a look that I hoped reassured her I was definitely considering it.
