by Freya Barker
Shit.
CHAPTER 18
Sophia
“HE DIDN’T SHOW.”
Mandy sticks her head around the door of my office.
I just sat down at my desk after Tse dropped me off.
“What do you mean?”
The back door opens and Mack walks by, calling out a greeting.
“Get in here,” I tell Mandy, and motion for her to close the door. “We didn’t get our delivery?”
“We got our delivery, but it was a different driver. Never seen this one before.” She leans over the desk and whispers, “I think there’s something wrong. The drugs weren’t there, but he took the boxes. I’m scared.”
“Sit down.”
I pull my cell from my purse and dial Luna.
“I’m around the corner,” Luna says as soon as she answers, without waiting for an explanation for my call. “I’ll be right there.”
“Okay.”
She knocks a few minutes later, closes the door, and takes the free seat.
“We saw on the camera feed. Different driver. This one wasn’t wearing a ball cap like the other guy; he made sure we couldn’t make out his face. We actually managed to get a good look at this man. He’s also shorter and stockier.”
“They didn’t send any drugs. Does that mean they found out?” Mandy wants to know. “He took the boxes.”
“Shit. I need to make a call,” Luna says and pulls her phone from her pocket. “Barnes, it’s Roosberg. Are you on the truck? … Good. See if you can get close on his next delivery. It’s a different guy today. … Yeah. I know. … He’s got the empties with the money; we need to know where it goes. … Not yet. Let me know when he’s back at the warehouse. … I’ll talk to Gomez but I think it’s time to bring him in. … Yeah, later.”
“What now?”
“Nothing changes.” Luna leans over and puts a hand on Mandy’s arm. “Is it possible they suspect something? Yeah, but by the same token the regular driver could be sick or have had some kind of emergency. We don’t know what’s going on, but I promise we have eyes on you at all times.”
“But what do I do without the drugs? I’m supposed to do an exchange tonight.”
“We can come up with what you need from what is currently in the evidence room. That’s not a problem. You just need to sit tight a little longer,” Luna coaxes her.
There’s a knock at the door and Chris sticks his head in.
“Everything okay here?”
“It’s fine, Chris,” I reassure him.
He looks at Mandy. “Well, in that case, are you gonna sit here fucking chitchatting all day or were you planning on doing anything productive?”
The poor girl shoots to her feet and hurries out of my office, Chris looming behind her.
“Charmer,” Luna comments sourly.
“Yeah, he may be lacking in personality, but he makes the best brisket.”
“Can’t argue that.” Luna gets up. “Look, I’ve gotta run. I need to talk to the boss and see if he wants to bring the driver in for questioning. One way or another, I have a feeling this is coming to a head soon, so stay vigilant.”
“I will.”
It takes me a few minutes after she leaves to get my head back on my job. What a way to start my workday.
Lunch is a little busier than usual, especially with the group of women who picked the Backyard Edge to celebrate one of their birthdays. I sigh a breath of relief when Krystal and Lea show up. They take over cleaning up and prepping the dining room for the dinner crowd, which promises to be substantial as well. Reservations have come in all day, and at this point, two-thirds of the restaurant is booked for tonight and about fifty percent for tomorrow.
I pop into the kitchen to see how things are there and warn them it’ll be a heavy crowd tonight.
Mandy is at the prep table cutting vegetables, looking gaunt, while Lauren is stirring what smells like the restaurant’s signature barbecue sauce in a large pot on the stove. The two large smokers on the far side of the kitchen are sending off mouthwatering smells, despite the large exhaust fan mounted above them.
That’s where Chris makes all the magic happen. When orders start coming in, he will take whatever cut of the smoked meat he needs, slather it with the sauce Lauren is prepping, and give it a delicious crisp on the huge, hot grill beside the smokers.
But Chris isn’t there.
“Where’s Chris?” I ask Lauren.
“Not sure. He said he was stepping out for a minute.” She cocks her thumb at the door to the storage room. “Did you need him?”
“I was just going to give you guys a heads-up, it looks like it might be a full house tonight. I have three waitstaff and the bussers, but I might call Emme in for backup so we have an extra pair of hands we can apply where needed.”
“May not be a bad idea,” Lauren agrees.
Because the menu is fairly straightforward—simple fare done to perfection—and because we’re still building our clientele, we’ve been able to manage with three in the kitchen not counting the bussers. I suspect, if tonight’s expected crowd becomes the norm, we’ll have to look into some extra kitchen and front-end staff for the weekends.
I walk past Mandy and put a hand on her shoulder and keep my voice low.
“Hang in there.”
She nods and gives me a watered-down smile. Then I poke my head into the storage room, my eyes catching on the stack of boxes I know are empty. For now. No Chris to be seen.
Heading to my office, I spot a garbage bag left by the back door. I take the opportunity to peek outside if I can see Chris.
I hear his voice coming from behind the dumpster when I open the back door, as I’m sure he hears me when I toss the bag in the bin.
“I’ve gotta go,” he says when I walk around the dumpster and slips his phone in his pocket. “Did you need me?”
“Didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“I was done.”
He’s abrupt, which is nothing new, but his eyes look worried.
“All right, well, I just wanted to let you know we’ve got a lot of reservations tonight so I’m calling Emme, but if this is the new normal, we need to talk about hiring a few more bodies. Depending on how your kitchen manages of course.”
He nods and starts walking around me.
“I’ll let you know,” he says right before he disappears inside.
A chill runs down my spine and I cast a furtive glance around the parking lot. It’s late afternoon with plenty of daylight left and I don’t see anything out of place, but then again, it’s early yet.
I duck in my office and give Emme a call. She agrees to come in, says she has nothing better to do anyway. With that out of the way, I do a quick check of our order coming in from the butcher tomorrow morning. It might be a little light. I manage to catch my sales rep on his way out the door, and he ensures me he can up the order in time for our delivery.
I should probably put something in my stomach before the dinner rush; I’ve been ignoring those hunger pangs all afternoon. Or maybe it’s my bladder. I haven’t been since I got here this morning. I better take care of that first.
The bathroom is empty and I duck into one of the stalls. I’m just grabbing a wad of toilet paper when I hear someone come in and get into the stall beside me. I’ve always hated public bathrooms for that reason alone, lack of privacy. Although as of this morning, I officially don’t even get privacy in my own bathroom at home.
I stand, start pulling up my pants, and turn to flush when I notice the smear of blood left on the paper I just tossed in the bowl. Immediately I check the crotch of my panties and my stomach drops.
Shit.
The word must’ve escaped me because I hear Lea from the stall beside mine.
“Everything okay?”
“Yes,” I answer automatically before changing my mind. “No. You wouldn’t happen to have a pad, would you?”
“Actually, I do in my purse. Give me a sec, I’ll get it for you.”
I sit back down as the lump of disappointment in my throat grows. Most women in my situation would be ecstatic to have dodged a bullet. I’m not one of them. I allowed my fantasies to run away with me and already imagined myself pregnant.
I tell myself firmly this is for the best and when Lea hands me a pair of pads underneath the door, I feel almost in control.
Except, when I open the door a few moments later and walk to the sink, I catch a glimpse of my wet face in the small mirror.
“Oh no, honey. What’s wrong?” Lea asks and I let out a sob.
Tse
“Van! Come here boy.”
The dog lifts his head from the pile of scrap wood where he’s been sniffing all afternoon—probably rodents or something—and trots toward me.
I look over at Ravi, who is helping Paco tidy up the site. We’re supposed to have a few more hands tomorrow to help put down the roof decking. The exterior of the house is already sheathed, we finished that today, and it’s ready for wrapping next week. After that’s done, we’ll have Jed’s crew back to work on electrical and plumbing.
It’s moving much faster than I thought it would, but the weather has been good and so far we’ve had no delays. I’m sure those will come once we have different contractors working on different aspects. There’s a certain order in which things need to be done, and all it takes is one thing to go wrong and the entire schedule is fucked. I’m glad Jed’s in charge of that; I wouldn’t have the patience.
The boy seems to enjoy working with us, although it took him a while to get comfortable around Paco. He’s getting pretty good with his measurements and already handles the nail gun like a pro. He wanted to use the saw as well, but I won’t let him do that without Paco or me standing right there.
From what I hear, he’s still avoiding the older boys, and either hangs with the young kids, or with Nosh or Lisa in the kitchen when he’s at the clubhouse. A few times I tried to get him to talk, but he quickly shut down.
Then yesterday I took off my shirt on purpose and he asked me about the tattoos, so I told him the same I told Sophia. He seemed interested in their meaning and actually stared at me for a few minutes when I mentioned I got my first one to cover up my scars. I almost fell off the log I’d been sitting on when he wondered out loud what age he’d need to be to get tattooed. He didn’t wait around for an answer and walked off. I didn’t want to push the issue and scare him off, so I left it, hoping he’d come back to it on his own.
“Hop up, Van.”
I pat the passenger seat of the Jeep, wait for him to get in, and close the door. The window is halfway down and he immediately sticks his face out when I walk over to Paco.
“What time do you start tomorrow?”
“Nine?” he suggests with a shrug. “It’s the weekend, I don’t think we’ll get those guys outta bed any earlier.
“Fair enough,” I agree. “I’ll be there but I’m gonna have to run out to drive Sophia to work around eleven. I think I might leave Van at home though. Too many people around and if I’m going up on the roof…”
“I can keep an eye on him,” Ravi offers, his voice cracking halfway through the sentence.
Guess he’s that age. Paco and I grin at each other over the boy’s head.
“You sure? Might get boring.”
He nods eagerly. “I’m sure.”
“All right then, I’ll bring him after I drop off Sophia.”
I ruffle his ink black hair, throw a wink at Paco, and head to the Jeep.
My phone rings as I pull up in front of the house. It’s her.
“Hey.”
“Are you home yet?”
Her voice sounds a little funny.
“Just drove up, why? Something wrong?”
I get out, let Van jump down and walk to the front door.
“I have a favor to ask. It’s…uh…”
Definitely sounds off.
“Spit it out, babe.”
Inside I punch the code into the keypad for the alarm.
“I need some clean clothes. Any pair of jeans is fine, they’re in the bottom drawer of my dresser, and I also need some underwear. Top drawer for those.”
I chuckle as I bend down to pick up the dog’s bowl. “Jesus. What happened? Did you spill something? What about a shirt?” She’s not laughing with me and it’s suddenly very quiet on the other end. Then I hear a sniffle. “Fee? What happened?” I repeat in a serious tone this time.
“My shirt’s fine. Shit,” I hear her mumble. “Hate to do this, but I’ll need some sanitary pads from the bathroom as well. I’ll tell you when you get here.”
I can tell she’s crying when she hangs up the phone.
Fuck.
After throwing a scoop of kibble into Van’s bowl, I take the fastest shower I’ve ever had, and quickly collect what she asked for, stuffing it in a plastic bag I find in the kitchen.
“Be a good boy,” I call out to the dog as I rush out the door.
I avoid as many traffic lights as I can—not an easy feat in Durango—and pull into Sophia’s parking spot behind the restaurant, barely twenty minutes after she called.
She’s in her office and the moment I walk in her face crumples. Damn.
I’m around the desk and have her in my arms in a few strides.
“Ah, babe.”
“I should be happy,” she sobs in my shirt. “Relieved. So why am I so upset? I can’t stop crying and I hardly ever cry.”
She tilts her head back and it strikes me she’s even beautiful like this, eyes red-rimmed from crying, her face a blotchy mess, and her mouth wobbling as she tries to get hold of herself.
“You’re probably pumping your inner fist right now,” she says with a hint of bitterness.
For some reason that offends me, and I let go of her waist to grab on to her upper arms.
“I’m not.”
She snorts and tries to look away so I give her a little shake.
“Fee, look at me.” I wait until I have her eyes. “I’m disappointed too. Fuck, I was starting to imagine you, beautiful and round with my baby, so don’t accuse me of celebrating this. Because I’m not.”
She quietly observes me for a moment.
“You mean that?”
“Yeah. Why would I lie about that?”
The next instant she does a faceplant in my chest.
CHAPTER 19
Sophia
LAST NIGHT WAS chaos.
A profitable chaos, because it was our best night so far, in terms of sales, but chaos nonetheless.
Thank God Emme ran interference everywhere. Covering the bar with Mack, serving drinks when the servers were running behind, and lending a hand in the kitchen, loading the dishwasher and helping plate orders.
I didn’t have much time to think about anything; I was too busy trying to keep up with the steady flow of diners. Tse stayed at the bar the entire night, a steady presence, and would occasionally shove a bottle of water in my hand and tell me to drink. When we got home my feet and back were sore, and Tse suggested I have a bath while he took care of Van. I was too tired for that so opted for a quick shower instead and ended up rolling into bed right after.
No time to think last night, but this morning I woke up with a head that was already churning. I always feel a bit off during my period, which tends to be light—achy, grumpy, touchy—but I’m really out of sorts this time.
I’m sitting out on the deck with Van romping around in the yard, sipping a coffee. I snuck out of bed at six, leaving Tse to sleep. He mentioned they’re working at Paco’s place today—something about the roof—but that he’d be back to drop me off for work at eleven.
It’s a gorgeous morning; the air fresh and alive with the peaceful sounds of nature waking up, and my coffee is hot and strong. Still, I feel a weight on my chest. I guess that’s the way it goes when dreams disappear into thin air. Even one I never fully considered until a short week ago.
I’ve never been prone to fantasies—instead opting
to stay firmly rooted in reality, grounded in the familiar—but since taking the leap and moving to Durango I’ve changed. Become more open to possibilities.
The job itself has been a huge leap, new and different in many ways from the mostly solitary work I’d been doing before, but one I love. Then I found myself getting involved with a man I thought wouldn’t be good for me, until I jumped into a relationship with him to discover it isn’t just good, it is outstanding.
Turns out that once you take that first chance—make that first big jump—the ones to follow become easier. Not that the risk is less, but you find out the rewards are worth it. It’s like graduating from a merry-go-round to a roller coaster. Less safe and predictable, with extreme highs and significant lows, but the view from up high is amazing, even if the dips are tough.
“I can hear you thinking from inside,” Tse says, as he steps out on the deck.
Van, who eventually came to lie down beside my chair, gets up and does his cute little butt-wag. The dog, another leap that is paying off in spades. It’s amazing how fast we can become attached. To animals and to people.
He leans over my chair and I tilt my head back to share a sweet good morning kiss that tastes of coffee.
“Woolgathering,” I mumble, and he grins down at me before taking the other chair.
“You do that quite a bit,” he observes.
I glance over and see from the look in his eyes it’s not an accusation, it’s curiosity.
“Guess it’s what happens when you’re used to being alone. You learn to process on the inside.”
He turns and lets his gaze roam the view.
“I can appreciate that, but sometimes it’s helpful just to talk things through.”
I smile to myself.
“Like you do?” I tease and watch his lips twitch into a grin.
“What can I say; I’m a work in progress.” Those warm eyes swing to me and some of that weight lifts off when I see the sparkle. “I’m even learning to listen, should you want to try me out.”
I hesitate only for a moment.
“I was thinking how much I’ve changed in the few months I’ve been here. How much my life has changed from what I was used to.”
