“He does strike me as a serious, disciplined man,” Sabrina replied.
“Graeme was always a good-natured hellion, but he’s become much too serious these last few years. Fortunately, that’s beginning to change, because of you.”
Sabrina gave Ainsley a tentative smile. “And that’s a good thing?”
“A very good thing.” Ainsley cast a pointed look at the trunks. “Which is precisely why you cannot run away.”
“But if Graeme doesn’t wish to . . .”
“Oh, he wishes to. Trust me, he wishes very much.” Ainsley waggled her eyebrows.
Sabrina could feel herself blush. This was a rather improper and embarrassing conversation.
“Then what’s holding him back? It’s one thing to keep me from harm. It’s quite another to push me out of his life, which he has done repeatedly.”
“Because he’s a moron?”
“Then perhaps it’s best I’m leaving. One doesn’t wish to marry a moron. One might end up with frightfully stupid children as a result.”
Her lame attempt at a joke had the opposite effect, since the idea of children with Graeme brought a sudden sting of tears to her eyes. Sabrina had never been in love, nor had she ever thought seriously about having a family of her own. Now she was in love, and she wanted a houseful of rambunctious little sons and red-haired little girls—with Graeme.
Ainsley studied her with a warmly compassionate gaze.
When a few tears slipped free, Sabrina extracted a handkerchief from the pocket of her wrapper. “I am never drinking whisky again.” She wiped her nose. “It’s turned me into a moron.”
“Sabrina, Graeme loves you, but he’s frightened of hurting you—and of getting hurt in return.”
“He should know by now how I feel about him. I’ve made it embarrassingly clear.”
“Graeme is worried he won’t be able to protect you.” Ainsley pointed a finger. “Not an unreasonable concern, under the circumstances.”
“Then he should help me face the threat and solve the problem,” Sabrina groused. “Not send me away.”
“Agreed. But there’s another issue, one which is more pressing, I believe.”
“His life as a spy?”
“Actually, I think he’d happily give up that life for you, except . . .”
“Yes?”
“Graeme doesn’t think he deserves you. He feels unworthy of your love.”
Sabrina remembered what his brother had said. “Grant suggested something similar the other night.”
“He’s a smart one, our Grant. Graeme is afraid you’ll reject him, once you really know who he is.”
“I do know him. He’s a kind, brave, and thoroughly worthy man.”
“He doesn’t feel that way. Graeme has spent years trying to make up for what he considers to be . . .” Ainsley frowned for a moment. “His failings, for lack of a better term.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I suppose Grant didn’t tell you why Graeme doesn’t think he’s good enough for you?”
“No. He said it wasn’t his story to tell.”
Ainsley rolled her eyes. “Typical. Kendrick men are also ridiculously secretive. Graeme certainly won’t tell because he’s worried you’ll think poorly of him. But I do think you need to know why he thinks that way, regardless.”
“All right, but I could never think poorly of him,” Sabrina replied.
“Good for you. But hold on, because it’s going to get a bit rough for a few minutes.”
Sabrina drew in a deep breath to calm her suddenly shaky nerves. “I’m ready.”
Ainsley nodded. “Angus has told you bits and pieces, but he’s mostly been talking around the edges. You’re aware, of course, that Nick and Logan are the offspring of the old earl and his first wife.”
“Yes. Angus told me that his daughter was the old earl’s second wife.”
“Correct. The second Lady Arnprior was devoted to her husband and her new family. From what Royal tells me, she was truly a saintly woman. Life at Kinglas, for the most part, was happy.”
Sabrina ticked up an eyebrow. “For the most part?”
“The old earl was quite old-fashioned and expected much from his sons. He could be rather hard on them.” Ainsley let out a sigh. “Especially Graeme.”
“How . . . how hard?”
“Hard enough to leave a mark, now and again.”
Sabrina mentally cringed. While he’d no doubt been a handful, she could easily imagine Graeme as an adorable, fiery-haired imp. The notion of raising one’s hand to a child broke her heart.
“Poor little boy,” she softly said.
“Unfortunately, it’s sometimes the way of things between fathers and sons. But you mustn’t think it was truly bad. Lady Arnprior was a splendid mother, and the family thrived.” Ainsley hesitated. “Until they didn’t.”
“What happened?”
“Lady Arnprior died giving birth to Kade, the youngest boy, and the effect on the family was profound.”
Sabrina had few memories of her own mother—flashes of golden hair, softly scented kisses, and glimmers of barely remembered smiles. Mamma’s passing had echoed down through the years, taking a toll on her father, and through him to her.
“Yes, I can imagine.”
“Lord Arnprior never recovered. He died two years later, after a fall from his horse. Nick became laird and clan chief, although he’d effectively been running things since his stepmother’s death.”
“I cannot imagine the pressure on the poor man.”
“It gets worse, I’m sorry to say. Not long after his father’s death, Nick married his childhood sweetheart.”
Sabrina blinked. “I didn’t realize he’d been previously married.”
“It was a sad situation. Nick’s first wife was not in good health and died young. They had a lovely little boy, though. Nick was devoted to wee Cameron, as were his uncles. The lad was their shining light through very dark times.”
Sabrina’s stomach turned hollow as a bell. Lord Arnprior now had only one child, Rowena. “What happened?”
“Cameron died in a drowning accident at Castle Kinglas. Nick wasn’t there, but the brothers were. They tried to save little Cam, but Logan, Royal, the twins . . . Well, there was nothing to be done. That final tragedy essentially destroyed Nick and the family.”
It took Sabrina a few moments to choke back tears. “I’m so, so sorry. Poor Lord Arnprior.”
Ainsley let out a weary sigh. “Indeed. Nick felt unable to remain at Kinglas after the tragedy, so he joined one of the Highland regiments and went off to war. Royal joined the same regiment to keep an eye on his big brother. Nick thankfully emerged from that carnage without a scratch, but my poor husband barely survived.”
Sabrina winced. “I knew he was injured, but I had no idea how badly.”
“Royal hates being the object of anyone’s pity.”
“I can understand that. But where does Graeme fit into this? Did the twins fight in the war, too?”
“The younger lads remained at Kinglas, with Angus in charge. In hindsight, it was not the wisest of decisions, especially when it came to the twins. Angus could never bring himself to discipline the lads. Not after all they’d been through.”
“I cannot blame him,” Sabrina quietly said.
“Everyone else did, unfortunately. The twins left a trail of mayhem, from Kinglas to Glasgow to Edinburgh. God only knows what would have happened to the family if Vicky hadn’t appeared on the scene.” Ainsley flashed a brief smile. “She always says the twins were her biggest pedagogical challenge. Eventually, she prevailed and transformed those Highland hellions into gentlemen. For the most part, anyway.”
“Thank goodness for Victoria. The Kendricks now seem happy and at peace. You’re certainly all very comfortable with one another.”
Ainsley actually laughed—a relief, after such a sorrowful tale. “By that you mean we’re a pack of interfering busybodies.”
“Dearest
, I would never be so rude.”
“You should, because it’s true. But not everyone is happy. For some Kendricks, the wounds of the past have yet to fully heal.”
“Graeme,” Sabrina said. “I can understand how the effect of such losses would linger. But he was caught in a terrible maelstrom of events, none of his making, so why does he feel so responsible?”
“He believes his reckless, rakehell behavior made things worse for the family.” Ainsley snorted. “He’s not wrong about that. But he was young and desperately unhappy, and that is a bad combination.”
Ah. Now it all made perfect sense. “Graeme feels he must atone for past sins.”
Ainsley tapped the side of her nose. “On the mark. He doesn’t feel worthy of you and is therefore determined to cut off his nose to spite his face.”
Sabrina waved her arm, almost knocking over her glass. “It’s so ridiculous. I’m nothing special.”
“Pet, you are very special, and Graeme knows it. We all know it, which is why we want him to marry you.”
“But if he ships me off to England, I’ll never see him again.” Sabrina scowled. “He’ll make sure of it.”
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Kendrick men, it’s that one cannot let them gain the upper hand. You have to control the situation, Sabrina. Show Graeme who’s in charge.”
“Which means . . . not going back to England?”
Ainsley tilted her head. “Do you wish to go back?”
Sabrina pretended to think about that. “I don’t believe so. In fact, I’m quite certain I wish to spend the rest of the summer in Scotland.”
“Splendid response.”
“There’s just one problem. What guarantee do we have that Graeme will remain in Scotland? He could simply pull up stakes and return to London, leaving me here to mope like a silly old thing.”
Ainsley’s grin was the definition of sly. “One thing Graeme won’t do is leave you unprotected. So we’ll have to put the dear boy in a position where he’ll be forced to protect you—up close, and in a very personal manner.”
That sounded rather undignified. Then again, when it came to Graeme Kendrick, Sabrina had misplaced her dignity some time ago.
“How do you suggest we accomplish that?”
“We’re going on a trip, Sabrina. You, me, Royal. . . and Graeme.”
Chapter Eighteen
The king was on board his yacht and on his way back to London. More important, at least from Graeme’s point of view, Sabrina was safely away as well. Not that he’d seen her today or had the opportunity to make a formal good-bye. Apparently, she’d already boarded the boat well before Graeme had arrived at the docks.
He couldn’t help scowling as he stalked through the fashionable streets of New Town. For once, Sabrina had avoided him, instead of the other way around, and had done so very effectively these last few days. He’d only caught a glimpse of her at the service of thanksgiving prior to the king’s departure, the last official event of the royal visit. Now, she was gone without a word or even a look of farewell.
Not that he blamed her after that ridiculous scene in the drawing room the other night. He’d been a complete ass, and she’d deserved an apology. Still, her departure was for the best. Graeme had no room in his life for such a bonny, sweet lass. And sooner rather than later, she would have concluded he wasn’t fit to carry the train of her gown, much less marry her. That realization would have been painful and humiliating for both of them. So, now he’d do his best to forget her and those incredible, passionate kisses that had knocked him off his pins, and get on with his life and the job.
He’d get over her, just like he always got over everything that disturbed the chosen course of his life.
Liar.
He sighed, slowing to a halt as he reached the Kendrick mansion. While it was true that Sabrina had upended his life, he had to admit it had been ripe for disruption. These last few years, his work had filled up all the empty hours and spaces of his life, giving him everything he thought he’d needed. Sabrina had changed that by knocking him off his axis. But in an odd way, she’d also knocked him back on.
Now she was gone, and that was the way it needed to be.
Pull yourself together and get on with it. He needed a good, dangerous mission to keep his mind from the lass.
As he started up the steps, the door opened, and Grant appeared. “All right, laddie? You’re looking a bit fashed.”
“Just thinking.”
His twin lounged on the doorstep, a sly grin shaping his mouth. “Thinking of anyone in particular? A lady, perhaps?”
Graeme stopped one step below him. “No, and you can sod off with the rest of them if you even mention her name.”
For two days, his family had relentlessly pestered him about Sabrina. Nick and Angus had been the worst. His grandfather had sighed gustily, lamenting Sabrina’s impending departure and making annoying comments about missed opportunities and love’s labour’s lost, whatever the hell that meant. Nick had simply lectured, insisting that Graeme apologize for his rude behavior. Graeme had finally pointed out that Sabrina was avoiding him, so his family could just bugger off and leave him alone.
After that, everyone had.
“All right, then I won’t,” Grant replied. “Where’s Nick? I thought you went to the docks with him to see the great and glorious departure of our great and glorious king.”
“He stopped to see his banker on the way home. I decided to walk and have a think about the next steps on this blasted case. Just because the king is gone, it doesn’t mean it’s solved.”
Actually, Graeme had been in such a foul mood after discovering he wouldn’t have a chance to say good-bye to Sabrina that Nick had thrown him out of the carriage. Big brother had suggested that a long walk up the hill might encourage Graeme to cease acting like an addlepated chucklehead.
“Anything useful come to mind?” Grant asked.
“Not really. It’s not as if I have anything solid to go on.”
“Perhaps you might write to Lady Sabrina’s father. His lordship could give some guidance.”
“Not a chance. That man can’t stand me.”
“Then have Aden speak with him.”
Graeme snorted. “Lord Musgrave, did you know someone is trying to murder you, or possibly your daughter? Oh, and you might have smugglers on your lands, not to mention you’re a wee bastard for evicting your tenants.”
“I’m sure Aden can phrase it more elegantly.”
“Doesn’t matter if he serves it up on a gold platter. Besides, I doubt the old fellow even knows what’s going on up at Lochnagar. Man’s a complete ninny.”
Grant flashed a grin. “That’s no way to talk about your future father-in-law.”
“I’ll toss you down these blasted steps, laddie boy. I’m stronger than you are, don’t forget.”
His twin relented with a laugh. “Sorry. I shouldn’t be ribbing you.”
“Especially since yon Sassenach has set sail, ye ken,” Graeme dryly replied.
“We’ll see,” Grant cryptically replied.
Graeme frowned. “See what?”
“Never mind. If neither Musgrave nor Aden can help, there’s got to be something that will resolve this blasted nonsense.”
His twin was holding something back, and that was annoying. They had never held anything back from each other, though that had changed over the last few years.
Graeme had been the one holding back, and from all his family, not just Grant. It felt odd and wrong.
“I’m not sure what to do next,” he finally said. “Not something I enjoy admitting.”
“Aye, you never like to admit you might be wrong.”
“Because I’m never wrong.”
Grant rolled his eyes.
“This is different, though,” Graeme added. “I swear I can see the answer at the edge of my vision, but when I turn, it’s not there.”
“Maybe it’s not at the edge. Maybe it’s right in front of
you. And it’s not it. It’s her.”
“Och, it’s bad enough to have both Angus and Nick riding me. I don’t need you piling on as well.” When his twin raised an incredulous eyebrow, Graeme sighed. “Sorry.”
“I always stand with you, no matter what the rest say,” Grant said, very seriously.
“I know. Even when I don’t deserve it.”
“And you don’t deserve Lady Sabrina? She clearly has feelings for you. And you just as clearly have feelings for her. That is splendid, if you ask me. Not something to be avoided.”
“You know why it won’t work,” Graeme tersely replied.
Grant blew out an exasperated sigh. “And you know how I feel about this issue. But clearly I have failed to convince you. Which is insulting, since I’m your twin.”
“It’s not that, ye ken,” Graeme gruffly replied. “Your opinion matters the most.”
While it was true that Grant knew him better than anyone, it was also true that Grant refused to find any fault in Graeme. Because his brother’s love and loyalty was boundless, it made him a bad judge of character when it came to his twin.
“You need to stop punishing yourself for these stupid imaginary crimes,” Grant insisted.
“They’re not imaginary.”
His brother actually began to look annoyed, which took some doing. “If you’d simply talk to Nick or Royal—”
“God, no. They don’t need me mewling like a gouty old bachelor.”
When a thumping sound came from inside the hall, Grant quickly straightened up. “Royal understands our family better than anyone. And he saw everything, too. I can think of no one better to explain exactly why you deserve to be happy, like the rest of us.”
Graeme eyed his twin. “And are you happy?”
“I’m not unhappy, which means I’m in better shape than you.”
When another thump sounded from inside, Graeme frowned. “What the hell is going on in there?”
When he started to brush past, Grant held up a hand. “Promise to speak with Royal, will you, laddie?”
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