I walked over to where she stood and caged her against the rail. Her breathing became shallow at my intrusion, but it took a lot more to get me excited. “You’re a biker?” she breathed out batting her lashes at me.
Fucking hell, talking… “Yea.”
She opened her mouth to talk again and I instead turned my attention to the dance floor below not really caring what it was she had to say. My eyes zoomed in on a royal blue dress on the dance floor damn near painted on the bitch making her ass look fucking delicious. That wasn’t what caught my attention though. It was the wild red hair bouncing all over the place as said ass shook everywhere before landing on the crotch of a man. I knew I was seeing shit, right? What were the fucking odds and all right? Nettie doesn’t go fucking clubbing but – FUCK ME! That is her. Her smile wide, eyes closed arms up, as she grinded to the song.
I ignored my throbbing cock and the bitch in front of me and just stared at this fucking slut as my temperature rose. Yea, I was fucking lusting, but I was mad as shit too. Ain’t seen the bitch in weeks and this is where I find her ass? Fuck that. I’m going to make her ass redder than her hair. Pushing the waitress out of my way I stormed to the stairs. I was making my way across the dance floor when there was a strong grip on my arm. I spun around ready to kill a mother fucker when I saw Lucifer, fuck he came from I don’t know.
“Bull…” he said in warning.
“The fuck?” I asked. What’s his issue?
“Just calm down real quick.” He urged.
My lips snarled. “Don’t tell me the fuck to do, get off me.”
I pulled my arm free and he cut me off blocking my path. “Bull, don’t do anything stupid.” He warned.
Ha. “Not a thing stupid about what I’m about to do.” I half pushed, half shrugged him out of the way as I let my legs eat up the floor until I was behind the asshole who was about to be 10 feet under in a minute. Her arm flung out in a spin and I grabbed hold of her wrist and tugged.
Her body instantly stiffened and her hands boiled into fists before she opened her eyes full of rage. When her fiery eyes met mine, my dick throbbed, and she relaxed a fraction before tensing even further. “Get off.” She hissed.
Oh fuck no. my grip on her wrist tightened until she winced from pain and I let go only a fraction of an inch. I yanked her arm until she unsteadily fell into me. “No.”
“Bull…”
I eyed her daring her. She looked lost for a minute before she got that spit fire back in her and squared her chin. Fucking fine by me, she ain’t gonna win no matter what. “Man, she said get off her.” That douche said wrapping an arm around her waist.
The ever loving… I released her as I felt my body coil ready to pounce. My blood felt like it was on fire as I watched him with his hands on her. He pulled her flush against him and I saw nothing but red. She had two point five –
I was lifted off my feet and on instinct I swung. Whoever and wherever I connected with was forceful enough to cause a grunt that should’ve released me. That’s when I realized there were multiple hands grabbing at me. I felt like a trap animal, so I did what any other animal would do… lose my shit. I didn’t come back down to earth until I saw a bloodied nose Lucifer standing in front of me. A quick sweep of my surroundings showed three body guards out cold and lastly a frightened Nettie cowering in Abee’s arms. Fucking hell, I’ve not lost it like that since I was a fucking kid.
I took a step towards Net and Lucifer blocked my way. “I get it, but I need to know…” he hedged.
He knew I was a loose cannon and when I lost my head I was a fucking bomb. But fucking hell, I was good. This was my girl. I met his eyes and tipped my chin down in a nod. He was my best friend, he knew me better than anyone and seeing him step to the side gave me enough confidence to continue. I trusted myself, but I couldn’t see myself and a picture tells a thousand more words.
When I got close Abee tightened her grip on Nettie and Net shrunk into her. Fuck if that didn’t hurt like a bitch. What the fuck, after everything doesn’t she know she is the exception. The one fucking person on this planet that I would never hurt?
I stepped close enough that I was crowding their space. I felt a presence close by and I knew that was Lucifer hovering for no other reason than I was also crowding Abee’s space since they were holding onto each other. At the moment, I didn’t give two fucking shits about either of them. The only person I cared about right now was the ridiculous red head in front of me that was pissing me off all over again by cowering from me.
Why? One, my bitch doesn’t fucking cower. She never did and she never fucking ever should. Two? Because it’s fucking me and I’m the last person on the fucking planet she should ever fear. Finally,… if there’s anybody who should be scared is every other fucking person because come hell or high water, I will fuck this world if it fucks with her.
“Nat?” I asked hesitantly.
Her entire body softened, and she slowly unraveled herself from Abelie. She was shaky on her legs and I could tell that she was wasted. She wobbled the foot to me and stood a breath away. I wrapped an arm around her and dragged her against me the rest of the way. I leaned down and took a deep inhale of her hair soaking her in for what felt like forever. “Jackson.” She whispered so sweetly.
I had the urge to kiss the fuck out of her hearing my name on her lips that way. Like she needed me, my sweet girl always needs me, and she needs to wake the fuck up and realize that. “Babe, you drunk?” I asked.
She looked up at me and gave me that dopey smile she can only mimic these days when she’s wasted but it was the same one she gave me when she was a toothless six-year-old. The best smile in the fucking world if you ask me. “No… Maybe? Probably?” she frowned as she got lost in thought. “I’m scared.”
Now I was frowning and getting pissed on who I needed to fuck up. “Why? Who scared you?”
She gave me a cute pout and said, “You.”
Well, fuck me.
“Let me take you home.” I demanded.
She started to giggle. It sounded like music to me, and fucking hell I only got this when she was all drunk and we were alone. “I don’t have a home anymore though.” She gave me a sad look. “I’m only home with you and I’m not with you anymore.”
No idea what the fuck she’s talking about right now cause her ass is with me always whether she knows it or not. I will make sure her ass does because… What. The. Fuck. “Yea, I’m taking you home… to my place, our place. You argue with me I will – “
She waved a hand. “Yea, yea… you’re going to embarrass me in some way. But you won’t. You always say you’re going to ass my red… I mean red me ass!” she burst into hilarious chuckles. “Oops! But you won’t cause you gonna have to take my clothes off in front of all these people and let them see my cheeks, but you don’t like that.” She tried to take a step back to wave her hand in the air to prove a point and almost stumbled over. “So, give me a threat you really mean.”
See what I mean? This fucking bitch is gonna be the death of me for real. “Alright, I can always take your clothes down just enough and fuck you in front of everyone to show them you’re mine. Would you prefer that?”
“So, I could be like all the club sluts to you. I knew you didn’t fucking love me… I keep telling them, but they don’t listen. I’m not your pussy; I need to find a man that will actually make love to me.”
Bitch. “I will stick my dick any and anywhere I fucking want to when I want to. You let anyone unauthorized in you then you’re going to fucking pay… got me?”
Her body trembled like it always does when I talk dirty to her. This time when she looked at me she seemed afraid then checked her surroundings before bowing her head in surrender. “Sorry daddy, I will do what you need.”
FUCKING HELL.
I snatched her up into my arms and damn near ran out of the club not giving her a chance to say goodbye. I don’t know what the ever-loving fuck is happening with her or what the fuck happene
d but she’s going to talk. She has to.
When I got back to my place I took her straight into my room and put her down on the bed. I proceeded to strip her of her dress. When I was done I dragged her to the bathroom where I washed her face about three times to get the stupid makeup off. I turned on the shower, got her out of her bra and underwear and then stripped myself before dragging her into the hot water.
Fucking hell, I was leaking precum, but I can’t take her like this. I had sex with her that one night, on thanksgiving and we were both hella wasted. When she began mumbling about having sex again I ignored her. I’d never take advantage of her no matter what my body is telling me. There was that one time I after the wedding I didn’t realize she was so done that after we got into it she passed out on me and I just tucked her little ass in and passed out with her. That wasn’t the first or only time I did that, but the way she acted then I’m sure she thought I fucked the shit out of her pussy. I wish I got the chance though I’d tell you that.
When we were both clean – courtesy of me – I led us back into the room. I threw on a pair of briefs before forcing one of my t-shirts onto her as she mumbled the whole time about not being a baby while she complied and let me take care of her. Afterwards, I settled her onto her side and spooned her from behind and wrapped myself around her, so she was stuck and couldn’t sneak away before letting myself drift into sleep.
Chapter 8
I was either dying, eating sandpaper, or hungover.
Fuck, hungover it is when the headache hit. I’m never drinking again, this shit sucks!
I have to pee.
Go to the bathroom then stupid.
All of this passed through my mind before my memories infiltrated and I froze. I went out to a club with my friends, we drank, and I vaguely remember being dragged out onto the dancefloor then… nothing. I felt the weight of a heavy hairy leg on me and I wanted to die.
If I move last night never happened, right? I didn’t go home with a stranger, right? Oh, fucking hell Net, you need to run away to make it erase! Then poof it’s gone – yep.
I moved very, very slowly as to not wake whatever monster was beside me. I didn’t want to see or know who he was, out of sight out of mind and all right? The issue? This bastard had me in a vice grip! He was wrapped around me like a fucking snake and didn’t have any give. I began to have a panic attack – something I never experienced before – and the next thing I knew there were lips on my cheek and neck making it increase… Until –
“Natalia, chill out.”
Phew. Bull. Instantly my entire body went from def-con one to completely compliant. It was only Bull, I was safe.
“Sorry.” I muttered.
He grunted then tightened himself back around me like he was going back to sleep. I wanted to protest, I swear I did, but until you had this fucking man cocooning you and you ain’t have shit to get up for then you keep your fucking opinions to your Goddamn self alright. Cause a bitch passed out and slept like the fucking dead.
When I woke again I opened my eyes and recognized I was in Bull’s bed. Fucking hell, how did that happen? Did I drunk text him or just come over? Sure, enough that I’ve fucked him again and I don’t remember it again. I told myself I wouldn’t do that again, what the hell is wrong with me? I crawled out of bed and made my way to the kitchen. I mean let’s be serious there’s no easy way out of this.
To my surprise I found Bull standing in the kitchen with his back to me. He was doing something that I wasn’t too interested in knowing. I began to walk to the coffee maker when his voice cut me off.
“It’s already done.”
Without giving him a response I took residence at the breakfast bar and ran over all the ways I could explain this to him without giving myself away. At least more than I already have. Just over a minute later he turned around and came back to where I was sitting and laid two plates filled with my favorite sandwiches. Bacon, cream cheese, and jelly with a large mug of coffee and – oh my! I smell French vanilla. This is the fucking breakfast of a champ. We’d accidentally come across this recipe and fuck my life if this wasn’t the best tasting experiment ever.
“Thank you.” I murmured as I inhaled my coffee.
He nodded his thanks and sipped on his coffee. When I was done with my sandwich and was halfway through my second cup of coffee I caved. Something was up, he hadn’t touched his food and he was just watching me like I was an alien or something.
“What’s up?” I asked.
He shook his head.” Nothing… I’m just trying to figure you out.”
I frowned. “What? Why?”
He sighed. “You don’t remember last night, do you?” he asked.
I cringed. “Um, no?” I said hesitantly suddenly extremely wary of where he was going with this.
He laughed but it was humorless. “You said you didn’t have a home. That you weren’t with me anymore.”
What! I could feel my face flaming. “I don’t know why I said that.”
He just stared. “I didn’t like that.”
Oh really? “What didn’t you like about it? I don’t see that much wrong with what I said.”
“Everything was wrong with what you said!” his temper was rising, and he stopped himself for a second tamping it down. “You’re with me Net.” He demanded.
I sighed. “I don’t think that’s smart Bull. Let’s be realistic – “
“Is it because you think I don’t love you?” he asked.
I gaped at him. What the hell was I saying last night? “No… Yes.” I let out a deep breath as I tried to gather my thoughts. I was tired, so fucking tired. I was exhausted from all of this. The secrets, the lies, the hiding. Fuck it. “Yes Bull.”
His head snapped back like he was struck. I saw the hurt in his eyes and I was immediately struck with the impression he hadn’t been expecting that. He slowly put down his cup. “How could you ever fucking think that?” he asked.
I shrugged. “You don’t say it and Bull, actions speak louder than words. When you’re able to just simply forget about me or leave me hanging to get laid. When you’re able to treat me like every other slut, then you know I would think that I’m no more to you than anybody else.”
“That’s fucking bullshit Natalia and you fucking know it. You’ve meant everything to me since I met you. You’re the only person I’ve ever fucking loved bitch. Why do you think I do the things I do for you, why I treat you the way I do, why I fucking look at you the way I do?” he argued.
“Why do you, huh?” I challenged him.
I’d be damned. He puffed his chest up and gave me a dead serious look. “I fucking love you Net. You know it; I know it… now you’ve heard it.”
I don’t think it’s cold in here… why am I shivering? “But the thing is…” deep breath Nettie, you can do this, “is that I’m also in love with you. I have been for a long time.”
He stared.
And stared.
And stared.
He was killing me here.
Finally, he spoke. “I know.”
That’s it. He knows.
“You know.” I repeated because I’ve obviously turned into a parrot.
“Yes. I’ve known forever Net. I’m not good for you, I wish I were but I’m not. You don’t deserve to be stuck with a fucker like me. I know this, and I’ve accepted it.” He took a deep breath. “The problem is though, that I’m a fucking dick and I’d have to burning in hell before another man can have you. I don’t give a fuck, call me a bastard, tell me I’m selfish, yell I’m controlling. All of that is true and more.”
Fuck me, but I was speechless. “I don’t… I don’t know what to say.” I admitted. For all the things I thought he was going to say, it wasn’t that. “Do you… are you in love with me?” I whispered. It was so low I wasn’t sure if he heard me, but I couldn’t make myself speak any louder.
A brief nod followed by a, “yes” almost had me unconscious.
My confusion kept me steady. �
�If you love me… then why?”
He shrugged. “Babe, you know me. I’m not like Lucifer… get married, have kids; you know the whole family thing. I can’t give that to you and it’d be fucked up to lead you on that way.” I felt my shoulders sag in defeat and he reached out and covered my hand with his gently. “But if it were to ever happen, it’d only be you.”
I opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off. His previously softened features once again hardening. “Last night, I was saying something to you about fucking you and you said something about your dick head father. What the fuck was that about?”
I paled. I really stuck my foot in my mouth last night. “Nothing…” I said pretending to wave it off like it could’ve just been some stupid slip up.
He wasn’t buying it. “Don’t fuck with me, tell me.”
Well, I was all about the truth this morning, wasn’t I? “That night… after you left, and I went home, our parents accused me of being out because I was whoring myself. They even went as far as saying that I’d slept with you. Anyways, they both raped me that night.” Bull’s jaw went slack, and he cursed under his breath.
“I shouldn’t have fucking left you!” he roared as he pulled at his hair.
I stood up and walked over to him grabbing his hands and gently removed them. “Let me finish. That was that night. It became every night after that, and then they made money off me by letting their junkie friends have a go. I became immune to it all after a while as I counted the seconds until I could get away. I don’t blame you for what happened. I know if you’d been there you would’ve done anything to stop it. I also truly believe if you knew what was going on you would’ve come back for me – “
“Damn straight.” He confirmed.
“But I got past it. After that, I never slept with a man except those two times with you.” I thought about it and corrected myself. “Well three times counting last night.”
He frowned. “Nat, we only had sex one time.”
Now I was frowning. “What do you mean? There was thanksgiving, the night of the wedding, and last night.”
Natalia (Hades Riders MC Book 3) Page 9
