by Chris Glatte
He knew sleep wouldn’t return and the thought of another nightmare, even one unremembered, made him want to stay awake. He swung his legs off the cot and placed his bare feet on the floor. He winced as the blood flowed to his injured left leg. The doctor said he got most of the shrapnel out, but there was nerve damage and he’d probably always feel some degree of pain. The trick now was to heal the muscle. To become strong enough to return to his unit.
He reached for the bedside light and pulled the short chain. The soft glow illuminated the area around him. He could see other nearby cots. There were soft snores mixed with moans and thrashing from other dreamers. No matter how far behind friendly lines, these men were never free from their memories and dreams.
Carver’s dreams had gotten worse the more time he spent in the hospital. On the line, dreams were a luxury. Sleep never truly came when death lurked only feet away.
He rubbed his leg, massaging more blood into it. He leaned forward, took a deep breath and stood. Fresh sweat broke out on his forehead as the pain raced through his body. He kept most of his weight on his right leg, slowly transferring more and more to his left.
Once the pain equalized, He tried to take a step with his left leg, but it was too much too fast and he collapsed with an involuntary yell. The crash of his body hitting the floor brought the nurse, Lieutenant Lilly James running from her metal desk near the front door.
She got there in time to see Platoon Sergeant Carver pulling himself back onto his cot. She took in the scene and put her hands on her hips and glared. Her dark curls had escaped her bun and fell around her face and shoulders. She blew out the side of her mouth sending the nearest curl blowing. “Sergeant Carver, what on earth are you trying to prove?” He squinted up at her and she continued, “When are you going to remember to use your cane?”
In his gruff voice he answered. “I’m not a damned cripple. I have to push or I won’t heal. You’ve said so yourself, ma’am.”
She crossed her arms over her full breasts. “Not if it means hurting yourself worse. There’s a difference between pushing yourself and killing yourself. You need to be realistic. Your injuries need time to heal.” She shook her head. “How many times have we been over this?”
He nodded. “Plenty. I couldn’t sleep.”
Her hard glare turned soft. “Nightmares?” He rubbed his eyes and nodded. She reached out and put a hand on his bare shoulder. “You’re certainly not alone in that.”
The feel of her bare hand on his skin sent heat through his body. He tried to ignore it. He looked into her hazel eyes and nodded. “I know. That’s why I need to get out of here. To end the nightmares. They don’t happen on the front.”
She shook her head. “I’m no doctor, but that’s the stupidest logic I’ve ever heard.” She took her hand off his shoulder and he felt suddenly empty. She handed him his cane and he swiped at it but held it. “Let’s go on a walk.”
He leaned on the cane and stood, feeling the pain lance through him again. He didn’t wince in front of Nurse Lilly. Instead, he flexed and did a short knee bend. “I think it’s getting better. When’s the doc coming to evaluate my progress, ma’am?”
“Captain Shane will be here this morning, and for the tenth time, call me Lilly.” She stood straighter when she spoke Captain Shane’s name and Carver wondered if she had a thing for him. Anger coursed through him at the thought. The anger confused him. Have to stay focused on the mission. I don’t have time for this horseshit.
“That means I’ll need to be up working till he gets here. I’m stiff in the morning, but I’ll pass today.”
She shook her head, “You just fell over. You’d be a liability to those GIs you’re always talking about.” She put her hand on her right hip and extended it, giving him a pouty look. “You trying to get away from me Sergeant?”
He grinned. “You’re not a very good actress, Nurse Lilly.”
She smiled, but her face hardened. He thought she looked beautiful. “You see right through me, soldier boy.”
He smiled liking the way she talked. “Let’s get this show on the road.”
Platoon Sergeant Carver felt good. He’ been walking all morning using his cane. After lunch, he tried walking around without the cane and was happy with the results. He hoped he’d pass his weekly evaluation and be sent back to his unit.
He pored over every piece of news he could find about the war. He hadn’t heard the ‘Americal’ Division mentioned in any news which didn’t necessarily mean anything. He’d gotten a letter from now Sergeant O’Connor, which had miraculously found him amongst the hundreds of wounded. The 164th Regiment had moved off Bougainville Island, but O’Connor didn’t have a clue as to their next mission. Even if he had, the censors wouldn’t have allowed him to relay the information if he’d been dumb enough to try. All Carver knew was his men weren’t in combat operations as of two months ago.
When he’d first been carted off Bougainville, he’d spent a week on a hospital ship, then been offloaded to New Britain Island. His leg wound kept him from walking during the boat ride, but he knew they were moving north. It felt odd to be steaming closer to the enemy, but not as a combatant.
Once on the island, he’d toured the grounds of the mobile hospital extensively. First via wheelchair, pushed by other convalescing GIs, then on his own two feet with the help of his cane.
He’d seen his share of islands and this one didn’t seem better or worse. The Japanese had been pushed off, but it still smelled of death and rot. He doubted the smells would ever leave his senses.
Soon it was evening and Carver anxiously awaited the doctor’s visit. His first doctor, a good natured, but overworked, Major had rotated home. At first, the major hadn’t been optimistic about Carver’s idea of going back to his unit.
The leg wound was infected and it took the entire first month to beat it. After many fever-ridden days and nights, he’d gotten through the worst of it, but he was left weak. He’d pushed himself, making gains even the major was impressed with.
Now he’d deal with the major’s replacement, Captain Shane. He’d seen the tall, athletic captain making rounds the day before. He’d stood in front of Carver’s gurney and barely looked at him. Instead the captain concentrated on the clipboard with the chart attached and snuck glances at Nurse Lilly’s ample cleavage. He’d barely given Carver the time of day. He hoped today he’d give him a clean bill of health and send him back to Able Company.
While Carver waited, he sat on the bed extending and flexing his legs until they ached. Sweat rolled off his forehead as if he’d run a marathon.
Finally, he saw the captain throw back the thatch door and enter the ward. His frame was well over six feet tall and he had to duck as he entered. He stopped, letting his eyes adjust to the light. Nurse Lilly sprang from her desk, fixed her skirt and saluted. Pleasantries were exchanged and Carver strained to hear what was said. He couldn’t help feeling a wave of anger sweep over him as he watched them talk. He shook his head, trying to stay focused on the task at hand.
Carver saw Lilly hand Captain Shane a chart and she pointed at Carver. Carver brushed the sweat from his face with a nearby rag and stood. He could feel his leg aching, but overall, it felt good today.
Carver snapped off a crisp salute as the captain approached and he returned it with a touch of his brow. Shane looked at the chart then back at Carver. “Hello, Platoon Sergeant. How you feeling?”
“I’m feeling fine, sir. Ready to return to my unit.”
The captain nodded and looked at the chart, seeming to study it intently. He pointed at Carver’s leg. “Your leg was busted up pretty bad and you suffered a long infection. You’re lucky you didn’t lose it.” Carver nodded but didn’t reply. Captain Shane continued. “Nurse Lilly tells me you’ve been working hard…sometimes too hard.”
Carver glanced at Lilly and she dropped her eyes slightly. “I’m motivated to get back to my unit before they deploy again.”
Captain Shane shook his head.
“There’s no guarantee you’ll return to your unit, especially if they’ve already deployed. You know that, right?”
Carver nodded. “That’s why I want to get back now, before they deploy, sir.” He tapped his leg. “I’m good to go, sir.”
Captain Shane shook his head. “As you well know, combat requires every ounce a man can give. You’re making great progress, but you’re not ready. Not yet. I’m recommending another month of rehabilitation.” Carver’s jaw flexed as he gritted his teeth. Captain Shane continued. “I know you’re disappointed, but my word’s final.”
Shane turned to leave, but Carver raised his voice. “I’m ready now, sir. You’ve gotta let me outta here. My men need me.”
Shane handed the clipboard to Nurse Lilly. She gave Carver a slight shake of her head. Carver ignored it and was about to press the issue when Captain Shane pointed down the aisle leading to the exit. “Combat requires sprinting. You think you can sprint to the exit?”
By now the rest of the wounded GIs were paying attention. Those that could, stood or propped themselves to see better. Someone called, “You can do it Sarge.”
Carver estimated the distance at thirty yards. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he thought of the pounding his leg would take.
Without another thought he moved to the aisle and took a deep breath, willing strength into his limbs. Lilly reached out to stop him, but he evaded her touch and took off. He made it ten yards before the pain lancing through his body caused him to step wrong and his left leg collapsed, sending him sprawling into the row of beds. The cheering GIs went silent as they watched Carver pick himself off the floor.
Nurse Lilly ran to his side and reached down to help him. He tried to push her away, but she only gripped harder. He felt her iron grip on his bicep and he couldn’t help flexing. Who am I trying to impress?
She helped him get steady as Captain Shane approached. “Another month, Sergeant.” He slapped the chart into Nurse Lilly’s free hand and said. “I’d like to see you at your desk, nurse.”
Lilly nodded, and watched him pass. She leaned into Carver’s ear. He could feel her soft, hot breath. It sent shivers up his spine. She said, “I’m proud of you, Sergeant.” He looked into her hazel eyes and for an instant, time stopped. Captain Shane called and broke the trance. She released her grip and pulled away. Carver felt empty as her presence faded. He watched her go, taking in her shapely butt and her tapered waist. The Army uniform couldn’t contain her shapeliness. Just before she got to Captain Shane she looked back and saw him staring. She smiled and quickly turned away.
The next day, Carver lay on his bed thinking about his failure. His leg ached more than usual. He knew the captain was correct in his assessment, but Carver couldn’t help feeling resentment. He’d purposely humiliated him in front of the other wounded men and in front of Nurse Lilly.
The day was like every other day on the island, sunny and hot. He seethed as he thought about the smug look on the captain’s face.
He was lost in thought when he noticed Nurse Lilly standing beside him. He pulled himself from his self-pity and sat up. “What? Did you say something?”
She smiled and her eyes lit up. “I was wondering why you weren’t up working out. It’s not like you to lay in bed all day.”
He took a deep breath and let it out. “Just remembering my failure yesterday.”
She shook her head and her eyes went cold. “Never took you for a quitter.”
He sat up in bed and narrowed his eyes. “Never said anything about quitting.”
She reached her hand out. “Then take my hand and let’s get after it, Sergeant.” He gripped her hand and stood. The blood surging to his leg made his head swim, but he ignored it and took a step. He wobbled and she handed him his cane. He shook his head. “I’ll go without it for awhile if it’s all the same to you.”
Nurse Lilly took his rehab as a personal mission, pushing him to do more every day. Soon the work started to show. He no longer needed a cane and his limp was getting less and less noticeable.
After one grueling day of work, Lilly sat on the cot beside him and asked, “Why haven’t you asked me out on a date, Sergeant?” Carver nearly fell over. He stared at her until she finally looked away. She continued, “Am I too forward?” He stammered but couldn’t respond. Her hazel eyes burned into him. “I can’t wait any longer so I’m taking matters into my own hands. I’ve seen the way you look at me.” His face turned red and he looked at his feet. She leaned forward and whispered, “I like it.”
She reached for his face and stroked it as he looked into her eyes. Most of the other men were in the chow hall. The only wounded in the room, too badly damaged to notice their interlude. He was lost in her gaze. He reached for her face and her skin was smooth and warm.
She broke the trance. She pulled away and gave him a radiant smile. “There’s a movie playing at the outdoor theater. I’ll meet you there.” He only nodded.
Carver got to the outdoor movie theater forty-minutes early. He’d shaved, borrowed some aftershave and worn his least faded uniform. He wore his hat at an angle and paced. He felt nervous pinpricks of sweat threatening to ruin his undershirt.
He’d spent a lot of time with Nurse Lilly, but only in a professional setting. She’d pushed him and helped him achieve his rehabilitation goals. Of course, he’d noticed her shapely body and flowing, thick dark hair, but he’d tried to push his growing feelings away. He was a soldier fighting a bloody war he’d likely not survive. The last thing he needed was a romance…or was it? He could be sent to the front tomorrow and killed. Wasn’t it better to live for today?
He didn’t ponder the question too long. The feelings that coursed through his body when she’d touched his face was all he could think about. Her smell, feminine but tainted with a tinge of sweat made his head spin. She wasn’t the most petite or pretty nurse on base, but to him she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, and somehow, she was interested in him.
She arrived ten minutes early and Carver marveled at her beauty. He’d never seen her with makeup, and her hair was normally tied up in a tight bun. Now it flowed over her shoulders like a chocolate waterfall. He couldn’t help staring.
She looked him in the eye and smiled. “Well, you gonna spend the whole night gawking, or are we going to the movie?”
He reached out and she took his hand. There were other moviegoers streaming past them, but Carver stood like a rock in a fast river. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
At first, she looked at her shoes, then deep into his eyes. “I didn’t really wanna watch the movie anyway.” She pulled him off to the side and he pulled her into his arms. He bent forward and tasted her thick lips. His body was on fire and the next thing he knew she was dragging him back to her tent. They stopped to kiss multiple times. Each interlude pushing his lust higher and higher until he thought he’d burst.
As she pulled back the tent flap, she looked for any roommates. It was empty. In a husky voice full of passion, she said, “We’ve got a few hours till the girls get back.” They collapsed onto her cot and the next few hours were the most memorable of their lives.
The next three weeks were the happiest of Platoon Sergeant Carver’s life. Every morning they woke up early and left their love nest. They couldn’t sleep together in Lilly’s tent, nor on Carver’s cot, so they’d borrowed a hammock and strung it in the jungle far enough away so no one would hear their passionate lovemaking.
Every morning, before light they’d stumble into their respective sleeping quarters and pretend nothing out of the ordinary was happening. Of course, they weren’t fooling anyone, and there was good-natured ribbing from the other nurses and GIs.
Carver was still committed to his goal of returning to combat, but his motivation had waned since meeting Lilly. He devoured any war news he could get his hands on. As far as he could tell the allied advance toward Japan moved steadily forward. He hadn’t heard from Sergeant O’Connor, or anyone else from
his unit, nor had he heard the Americal Division being mentioned in any stories.
His leg improved every day. Soon he was able to jog and even run. He felt like a new man.
A month after becoming romantically involved with Lilly he returned to his bunk and saw Captain Shane waiting for him. Carver braced and saluted. Shane returned the salute. “It’s time for your next evaluation, Sergeant. I’ve been noticing your progress and want to get you back to your unit as quickly as possible.” When Carver didn’t react, Captain Shane said, “I thought you’d be happy. I’m getting you back to your unit early”
Carver nodded. “Yes sir. I appreciate that very much. It’s just a surprise is all. Kind of getting used to things around here.” He saw Nurse Lilly doing her rounds. She threw a worried glance his way.
Captain Shane noticed the exchange. He flushed and cleared his throat. “You know relationships between enlisted men and officers are strictly forbidden.”
Carver tore his eyes away from Nurse Lilly. “Yes sir, of course.”
Shane leaned in close, “I’ll be back tomorrow morning.” He leered. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of Lieutenant James.”
Carver turned beet red and his eyes went to slits. He balled his fists and was about to strike when Lilly appeared beside him and put her hand on his tense shoulder. With steady pressure she pushed him back until he was against his cot. She stood between Captain Shane and the Platoon Sergeant.
Shane looked surprised at her sudden appearance. “Lieutenant James, I was just reminding the sergeant of the strict penalties for becoming romantically involved with an officer.” He looked her up and down, like he was sizing up a piece of choice meat. “Of course, there’s no regulation between two officers.”
