by Alie Garnett
Dylan briefly touched her forehead to his and groaned, then swung off his lap and grabbed at her water. She rolled her eyes at him as she took a sip. “I have worked pretty dang hard for them not to be there—that’s why I run.”
“Who told you that you were fat, Dylan?” he asked, because every one of her insecurities came from someone else's mouth.
“Nobody, so let’s drop it,” she requested, as she always did when he was getting too close to learning anything about her.
“Was it Chase?” Just because his brother was dead didn’t mean he could have been a dick when alive.
“Of course not. He…” She stopped talking and reached for her sandwich.
“Please tell me.” Holden took the sandwich and unwrapped it for her, then handed it back.
“He… He was the first person to ever love me for me, okay? He didn’t care that I wasn’t perfect, that I was weird, or that I was me. He never said that it was baby fat, or that I was big-boned, or that I should watch what I eat… He loved me anyway. I keep the weight off because my job states I must, but it isn’t always easy.” She grabbed the sandwich away from him but didn’t take a bite of it.
“Your parents then,” he surmised, nodding to himself.
“I was never perfect enough for them. I tried, but I never achieved the level of perfection they were looking for. Good grades were nice, but I was never a cheerleader or on the softball team. I was never the beautiful athletic kid that looked good in all the pictures. I was short and fat and not perfect.”
“Are you still estranged from them?” He didn’t have to ask; there were a hundred unopened envelopes in her closet that shouted yes.
“I’ve built a life without them,” she admitted, which surprised him. He didn’t think she would.
“Why are you still trying to be perfect for them?”
She scoffed. “I am not.”
“Dylan, I have seen your underwear drawer. Everything in your life is perfect. The moment he becomes imperfect, you walk away.”
She closed her eyes and arched her brows as she said, “I don’t walk away from anything.”
“You haven’t had a real relationship in fifteen years because you can’t control another person. You’re scared that they’ll become messy… That I’ll become messy.”
“I happen to have loved my husband very much,” she argued back.
He looked up from the blanket between them and stared at her intently. “So much that you can’t love again?”
“You don’t know what you are talking about.”
“I might not. I’ve never loved like that.”
He then redirected the conversation, because if he didn’t, she would kick him out. She had finally started opening up to him, and he didn’t want to push her too far. “How was Elissa today?”
“She’s going home in three weeks and is practically walking on air. All she talks about is Todd this and Todd that and sex, sex, sex. She’s so ready to go home.” The anger in her eyes had vanished while talking about her friend.
“What happens when she’s gone? When do you leave?” He didn’t really want to know, but he needed to. Maybe it was soon. Would they have enough time?
Dylan sighed. “I’ll get a new nurse; she isn’t my first. I’ve really enjoyed my time with her, though. I’ll be here for probably another year, maybe more if I can get past the med boards.”
“It’s not healthy to stay in a war zone for years on end.”
“I’m fine; I thrive here. I hate knowing what’s coming next.”
“What if you don’t pass your next medical board?”
“Then I’ll go back to the States, probably to some base somewhere. I’ll still be a surgeon, but it won’t be the same. How about you? Are you a lifer?”
“Oh yeah. I have no idea what I would do if I wasn’t in the Army. My dad works construction, but I don’t know if I can work with him.”
“I thought he was dead?”
“Nope, just an ass sometimes. He’s still miffed I joined the Army like Chase, since he got himself killed over it.”
“He and Marquez used to have the biggest shouting contests. Your dad usually lost those, but then Marquez would be pissed for days.”
“I know how he feels. I have had my own shouting matches with the man. Sometimes I wish Chase hadn’t wrecked the Army by dying in it. I’ve always wondered if Mom and Dad would’ve been happier about it if he hadn’t died over here.”
“It’s hard losing someone close to you.”
“Yeah, it is,” he said, tossing his trash in the bag—she had cleaned hers up as she ate. Holden offered her a quick smile as he stood up, then held out his hand to her. “I have a surprise for you.”
Once on her feet, she looked at him quizzically. “What kind of surprise?”
“Now that we’ve had an amazing picnic, I’m taking you to a movie.”
“Where at?” she asked, eyes brightening a little.
“Right here,” he replied and pulled out his phone and waved it at her. “I had one of my guys download a new release today.”
“On the floor again?” Her eyes were on the blanket still lying next to her bed.
“No silly, in bed. But only because you don’t have a couch.” He shut off her light since the sun had only started to set it was still very light in the room.
Grabbing the blanket, he sat against the headboard and patted the spot beside him. He realized his error as soon as she climbed in next to him. It was a twin bed, and there wasn’t enough room for them to sit side-by-side. His plan was to snuggle close to her, but this was too close, and he felt like he was going to fall off the bed.
As the movie started up, he re-situated them and so that her body was between his knees. Pulling the blanket around them both, she rested her head against his chest, letting the smell of roses surround him.
After about four minutes into the movie, he realized the men in his group were shitheads, and not one of them understood what his plan was with Dylan because that was the moment the main female character in the movie took off her bra, by accident. Are you kidding me, guys?! The “movie” they had put on his phone was a porno!
So much for a movie night where he didn’t constantly think about having sex with her. No. Instead, he had to watch raunchy sex with her in his arms. He could stop the movie, but he had nothing else planned and would probably just have to leave. With her in his arms, though, he didn’t want to.
As he was thinking over his options, he could feel Dylan laughing silently against his chest. Amazingly, she was taking it in stride, not saying anything about the “movie” they were watching.
Then the guy’s pants came off, and she laughed and said, “Well, that’s a disappointment.”
“Expecting more, Dyl?” he whispered into her hair.
“Uh, yeah, and so should Babs. So much more.”
“The director was maybe more concerned with how Babs looked than Ronnie.”
“I can see that, since her name is practically boobs, and Ronnie? Why not Rod or Willy or Johnson? Obviously, Hollywood isn’t focusing on the right thing.” So far, she hadn’t taken her eyes off of the tiny screen, only wiggling closer to him as the movie went on.
“Never heard it called a ‘Ronnie’ before?”
“Nope, and I’ve worked around fowl-mouthed soldiers for over a decade. I know all the euphemisms.”
“All?” he asked with a laugh. He could tell she was having fun.
“When I was in Iraq on my first tour, I worked with three doctors that had been together for a long time. They always called each other ‘dick’ in every way possible. I think they thought it would embarrass me, but I held it together.”
“I’ll have to test your knowledge one day.” He hugged her tighter to him.
Dylan was still holding up the phone, so he took the opportunity to snake his hands under her shirt. He caressed her stomach and sides ever so slowly, and he could feel her relaxing into his hands. When she let out a soft moan
of approval, he cupped her breasts, running his thumbs over the lace of her bra. She sighed, and her head fell back into his chest.
There was no way she didn’t feel his rock-hard shaft digging into her back. It had been there before the movie had started, and he didn’t need the movie to keep it there. As his hand slid under her bra, she adjusted herself against his chest, intentionally rubbing her back into his cock.
“Did he just…” she trailed off, her eyes on the screen.
He kissed her ear, then softly bit it before whispering, “He did.”
It was almost full-on dark now, with the only light in the room being his phone, flickering sex scenes right at them. Her knees inched apart, and she ground her back even more into his cock while thrusting her breasts into his hand.
On the screen, the couple was fully into it, making wild sounds Holden had actually never heard during sex. But in their bed, they were both silent as church mice as he continued to worship her breasts.
“Here, hold the phone,” she whispered, shaking it a little as if to get his attention.
“Why?” He licked her ear this time, and her body trembled.
“I need to…” She didn’t say, just shook the phone again. His thumbs stopped circling her nipples and slid out of her bra and down her stomach, making her suck it in enough for him to get a hand under the waistband of her pants.
“In a minute.” His hand slipped over her wet panties, which caused her to gasp.
She rocked her hips over his erection. “Please.”
With a grin, he pulled his hand out and brought it down the front of her pants and cupped her core. Her breath caught, and she moaned a low “yes” as he rubbed her gently through the layers of fabric. With his other hand, he undid her pants, earning him another breathy moan.
Holden brought his hand up and then back into her pants as her knees separated a bit more. Dylan’s hands were shaking again, but not with impatience anymore. She bucked against him when he found his target, and a low growl of approval rumbled through his chest at how wet and ready she was.
While running a hand over her clit, he watched her hands holding the screen aloft. His finger slowly went back and forth as the screen shook, but she held on. Picking up his speed, he saw her knees starting to shake also. Good thing he wasn’t interested in the movie—Dylan had dropped it and was now digging her fingers into his thighs.
Her entire body tensed the moment before she dropped the phone and rolled her head back and forth, moaning. His free hand snaked back up and squeezed her breast, flicking a thumb across her nipple as her orgasm hit, forcing his name from her lips.
He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight as she tried to catch her breath.
“I dropped the phone,” she said for no reason. They both knew why.
“I think it was over anyway.” He had no idea and didn’t care at all.
As if realizing it was still in bed with them, she sat up and found his phone. After turning off the movie, she placed it on the nightstand and rolled over, climbing up his body until she was straddling him. Gently, she took his face in her hands.
Grinning, she asked, “Can we please fuck now? Romance is all good and great, but a lady has needs.”
He grabbed her face as well. “A man hates to be used for his body. Will you let me make love to you?”
“Men. Always so needy.” She winked at him and laughed.
“Yes or no, Dylan? Will you let me?” All humor was gone from his voice. This time was going to be different. This time wasn’t about getting off.
She dropped her hands to his shoulders and looked at him for a second. “Yes.”
“What’s my name?” His own hands had dropped to his side, not even touching her anymore.
“Captain Marquez.” Her lopsided grin said she knew exactly what he was asking of her.
“First name? The name I want you to call me,” he demanded, eyes intent on hers.
“Holden. Your name is Holden.”
“I love it when you say my name, Dyl.” His mouth landed on hers, but neither touched the other with anything but their lips.
With her position on above him, she slid off her shirt and unclasped her bra, letting his eyes feast on her breasts. His hands cupped them, and she moaned.
Her hands were busy with his shirt and pants, pushing them off as best she could while he was still under her.
“I think we just have to get undressed. This bed is too small,” he said as he unbuttoned her pants.
Leveraging herself on his chest, she got to her feet. Within seconds, she was naked. It took him longer since he was wearing more clothes than her, but he got to enjoy the view as she waited for him on the bed. She felt the same way as she watched him slowly undress as well.
The moment his underwear hit the floor, she scooted back to make room for him, though there would never be enough room for him in her tiny bed. His lips claimed hers, and her hands reached around him and pulled him closer, both needing to feel the other completely.
As his hands roamed over her body, she managed to find a condom and rolled it onto him, even as her hands caressed him.
It had been weeks of buildup, and his body wasn’t waiting, despite all his inner chants of taking it slow. Once she was there, he couldn’t stop.
After slipping into her, she wrapped her legs around him and held him tight to her for a moment. Then she kissed him as her hips began to rock, starting a rhythm.
“Dylan, I want to take our time.” His hips stilled as he spoke.
“Fuck, Holden, next time. This time I just need you, now.” Her hips bucked again.
At the sound of his name, he let go and pounded into her, sending wave after wave of orgasm through her. By the time he crested, he had no idea how many she’d had, just that she wasn’t stopping. Her walls gripped his cock tighter and tighter with each thrust until he couldn’t stop himself from coming.
Drained, he pulled her to his chest and tried to steady his breathing. He was surprised when she went willingly, but she murmured something he couldn’t hear and snuggled into him farther.
It was completely different from the first time they had been together. This time wasn’t just sex, it was something more. But Holden couldn’t help but wondering if this was something that Dylan truly wanted.
Chapter 14
Going back to work after spending nearly an entire day in bed with Holden wasn’t easy. All she could think about was getting back to him and being with him again. Her shift was nearly half over, and she was counting the hours, but there was still a long way to go.
“Earth to Dylan,” Elissa said beside her, holding files for patients that needed to be signed. “Well, someone’s in a sex fog today.”
“And what do you know of sex fogs?” She took the files from her.
“I know I have two and a half weeks before my next one. I’m glad to see that romance has spread to the bedroom for you. You seem happy now.”
“I’m always happy,” she countered.
Elissa gave her a skeptical look. “Rarely, ever so rarely.”
Dylan was thinking about a good comeback when their phones chimed in unison—time to get to work.
Getting up, they both headed for the OR. Elissa was quicker though, and was already in the room when she stepped inside.
“IED blast, most of the damage is to his back, but his spine seems okay,” Elissa said, but the usual cheeriness that she brought with her was gone. Sure, it wasn’t a place for fun, but blood and gore couldn’t dominate everything in the OR.
While pulling on a glove, Dylan looked at the soldier on her table. The man was lying on his stomach, and his back was a bloody mess. She wondered if he was conscious when they sedated him; probably not. Looking over the damage, her mind went into autopilot and created a plan. Elissa handed her a scalpel that she didn’t need to ask for, and she touched her soldier's skin tentatively.
The tingle that shot through her arm at the mere touch had her pulling back for an instant
and looking at her friend, whose only answer was a nod. The soldier on her table was the same one she had woken up to yesterday morning: Holden.
Her eyes went wide with shock, but then she shook her head to refocus. Pushing Holden from her mind, she mindlessly worked on him for hours, sewing him back together as best she could and trying to leave as little scaring as possible.
As she tied the last suture closed, she knew she was saying goodbye to him; he wouldn’t be conscious again in Afghanistan. All of his recovery would be elsewhere this time. She also knew he was never coming back—the injury was career-ending.
As most of the surgical staff left the room to work on someone else, she went around and looked at his face. He looked like he was sleeping. She knew that look. Kissing his dirty, sandy cheek, she whispered her goodbyes and went to wash his blood from her body.
Hours later, she was still in her office with the lights off, trying to stop seeing his bloody body in her mind. It was pointless—she would see it until the day she died. He had somehow wormed his way into her heart, and now he was gone.
With a soft knock, Elissa came into the room and whispered, “Ambulance just took him to the airport. Germany first.”
“I know.” She had signed the transfer papers.
“He’s probably done.” Elissa somehow knew everything.
“I know,” she said again. What else was there?
“You still have his address, Dylan. You can write.” She nodded at the papers on her desk. His was there somewhere, but Dylan couldn’t look at it. Not yet, maybe one day.
“It’s over, Elissa. It was always over when one of us left.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“Yes, it does,” she stated firmly and pushed past her friend. She needed out of this room and away from this conversation.
Somehow, she managed to hold back the tears until she made it back to her room the next morning. She might have even saved them until after she slept, except he had left her flowers on the bed, the one she had left him sleeping in. They were in a vase and written in black pen. He’d signed it: Thinking of you, Holden. Hugging the papers to her chest, she sobbed for the man who was as dead to her as his brother was, who had touched her heart and made her believe in life again.
