by Alie Garnett
He had to convince her of that, to show her she deserved to be in the baby’s life…and in Holden’s life. He had to show her that she was more than a doctor—she was a woman.
His first step had been to not fight with her, but he knew she had reasons for her actions and believed in them deeply. Holden felt that those reasons were stupid, but had learned in Afghanistan that yelling only caused her to get more defensive.
What he needed to do was romance her and show her what she wanted, not simply tell her. He wanted her, and he was going to do his damnedest to get her.
“See, he knows. Smart like his mom.” He touched his son's hand, and it instantly grabbed on to his finger, then slammed it into his mom’s breast.
“Nature. He’s just surviving,” she mumbled.
“Admit it, Dyl. Our baby is a genius.” He grinned at her. Her eyes were on the tiny hand holding Holden’s finger against her breast.
“Let's just say he’s above average for now. This might end up being his biggest accomplishment.”
“I was a whole lot older than him before I got a nipple in my mouth.” He watched the little mouth attaching to the breast he so enjoyed.
“You’re not actually talking about sex now, are you?” She grinned.
“Of course not,” he lied. “How about Todd?”
“No, Elissa’s married to a Todd.”
“Tony?”
“No.”
“Thurston, like on Gilligan’s Island.”
“No. Must it start with a T?”
“Andrew?”
“No.”
“Brett?”
“Are we going to do the entire alphabet?”
“Apparently. Carl?”
Dylan sighed. “No.”
“Anyone you want to name him after? Grandpa? Dad? The best uncle you ever had?”
“Nope. I never knew any of my grandpas, and no uncles to speak of.” He didn’t point out that she skipped over her dad. Was it because there wasn’t one, or worse?
“Okay, what about Mitch? I bet that one is fun to yell every day.”
“No.”
“Jack?”
“It just doesn’t feel right. Are you even looking at him?” she demanded.
He looked closely at the baby, who was now on the other breast, just as happy to drink there. “Max.”
“Tim, he looks like a Tim,” she said, the first name she had said.
“Timothy it is.”
“No, just Tim. Tim Marquez.”
“Is he going to have your last name or mine?” he joked with her.
“Yours, of course. You pick the middle name.” She didn’t joke about it.
“Tim Jesse Marquez.” He stated with a flourish.
Dylan shook her head. “No, not my father's name. Anything else.” Her hand stilled on the baby’s head as she said it. He could see the tension rising in her. “Here, he’s done. Take him.”
She pushed the baby away so fast the kid made a popping sound as her nipple left his mouth. The baby hadn’t gotten the message that lunch was over and started to cry. Holden got up and started trying to sooth the baby as Dylan looked away, biting her lip.
A nurse rushed in as he was calming the baby. She was short and made busy work of checking Dylan over, not even noticing the tension in the room. Once the mother had been completely checked over, the nurse grabbed the baby from him and re-wrapped him in the blanket.
“Have you picked a name yet?” she asked as his baby once again became a burrito.
“Tim. His name is Tim Dylan.”
“Well, Tim, hello there,” she said to the baby, picking him up and giving him right to Dylan. She didn’t even notice that Dylan didn’t want the baby at that moment, but since the nurse was handing him off, she took him reluctantly.
“Next time I come in, we can make it official.” She smiled at them both, then hurried out of the room.
Once the nurse had cleared the door, Dylan hissed at Holden, “Take him away from me.”
Happily snatching him up from her, Holden cuddled the baby close to him. He paced the room, letting her stew in her anger or pain, whichever it was. It had been there a long time, and she’d need a little time to get over it.
When she finally spoke, she said, “We might as well get the papers signed so you can get home. Get ready.”
“What papers?” He stopped walking. Her eyes were on the ceiling—she couldn’t even look at him.
“I’m giving up my rights to him, so you can take him home whenever they release him.” She was doing it again, pushing everyone away who could possibly love her.
Holden just stared at her for a moment before saying, “You can’t.”
“I already have the papers drawn up. It’ll only take a few minutes.”
“But Tim’s breastfeeding. You can't just cold turkey that.”
“It was only once; it probably doesn’t count.”
“Come on, Dylan. You know as well as I do that it counts.” He tried to calm himself. All he wanted to do was yell at her and tell her how stupid she was being about this. Instead, he took a few calming breaths. “Don’t you have a few weeks off after you have the baby, whether you take him home or not? Recovery time?”
“I guess. I was going to try to go back within a few days, but I haven’t scheduled any surgeries.” She admitted her plan to just push, push, push until she broke again. Hiding her pain in work as always.
“I think you should stay with Tim and me for a few weeks to recover with some help from us. No commitment, just hanging with two guys who know how to have fun.” He knew once she spent a few hours with the baby and let her guard down, she would love him.
Dylan’s eyes drifted to her lap. “I don’t know, I don’t know anything about babies.”
“I don’t either, but Tim will teach us.”
“I would do better at the apartment, then get back to work.”
“I know you have six weeks. Give us six weeks, and we will take care of you.”
“And what do you get for these six weeks?”
“Free lunch, for starters. You supply this guy with beverages, and we give you anything you want.”
“I don’t know.”
“Just give it a try, okay? Then you’ll know he’s being taken care of when you leave.” He hated saying the words, but he had to give her an out before she would agree to anything.
“How about a week, then see how it's going?” Her eyes were back on the baby, and Holden could see the tension leaving her body as she worked out the plan in her mind.
“Works for me,” he agreed. It was one step, one baby step in the right direction.
“How’s your back?” she asked, fingers lightly touching the baby’s blanket.
“Some pain, but not bad anymore. Thank you for working on me.”
“You were on my table, I couldn’t not.”
“What do you do here?” he asked, because though he knew she was on staff, Mara hadn’t told him.
“Surgical. All planned and routine. Oddly, it’s not the routine I’m used to at all. What are you doing? I thought you’d be out.”
“Recruiting. I’m kind of enjoying it, actually. Not the adrenaline rush I’m used to either.”
“I hear change is good…relaxing.”
“Have you called Elissa and told her the baby was here? I bet she’s excited.”
“I haven’t talked to her since I left. She’s back to her real life, so no need to talk to me.” Another person cut from her life, so she didn’t get attached.
“How about you rest, and we’ll go tell the nurses how they’re doing things the wrong way?” He grinned at her because he could tell she was exhausted, as if she had just come off a thirty-six-hour shift.
Without waiting for the argument that “she was not tired,” he took the baby from the room, earning him another scolding from the nurse in charge. But he wasn’t dragging a bed around with him because he wasn’t putting his son down in it. He was still basking in the idea that
not only did he have a son, but it was with Dylan.
Chapter 19
When Dylan opened her eyes, the world outside her window was dark. She didn’t know how long she had slept, but it hadn’t been enough. What had woken her, she didn’t know, but maybe it had something to do with the odd pain in her breasts?
Looking at the machine beside her, she remembered she had the baby, but the delivery hadn’t gone as planned. And somehow, she had agreed to stay with Holden and help with the baby for a week, possibly more.
Sitting up a little, she looked around the room, noticing Holden was still there. His head was flopped to the side as his body slumped in an uncomfortable chair, sound asleep. As far as she could tell, the baby wasn’t in the room.
Tim… He was named Tim. That was what she had been calling the little thing since the first moment she knew about him. Trust in me, she had promised him, telling him that she would take care of him until she could hand him off. It was supposed to be without them meeting again. A social worker was supposed to take him away and give him to Holden. He wasn’t supposed to be there when she woke up from surgery.
Or sitting in the chair beside her bed, sleeping.
She didn’t know what he was planning, but he was planning something. When he didn’t yell, shout, or ask questions, she knew he was romancing her, or whatever it was considered now.
If the shoe had been on the other foot, she would have railed him for hours, mostly not letting him explain anything because she was so busy yelling. But instead, he had taken to their son, no questions asked. Holden treated their baby with a love and tenderness she knew he would, reinforcing her decision to leave Tim with him.
“Tim was getting a little hungry.” A nurse came in, carrying the bundle in her arms.
Handing him off, she proceeded to leave the room immediately, like she had done this more than once before. Don’t they know that this was nothing she had ever even thought about?
As Holden said, Tim knew. Within moments, his lips clamped down on her nipple as if he had been starving. In the dark silence of the room, he made little sounds as he ate. His dark hair was soft against her hand, resembling her hair. At first, she had thought he looked just like Holden, but now she could see herself in him. Her hair, her nose, maybe even her eyes one day.
Maybe he looked just like her, but she had no baby pictures of herself, so she would never know. It was the first time since she walked away from her life that she wanted to know more about herself. Had she been a good baby? A naughty toddler? When was the first time her mom thought she was lacking? How old was she the first time her father hit her?
When was she going to turn into the monster that was lurking inside her? When would Tim see it for the first time? How old would he be when Holden took him away from her?
Dylan wiped the tear from the baby’s face, only for it to be replaced by another falling from her eyes. One week, that was all she was giving him. Then he would have nothing but good memories of his mom. Or none at all, which was better for everyone involved.
It was the sixth time she had fed him because he kept falling asleep before he was done and would be hungry again quickly. The nurse said it happened a lot, and he would grow out of it. Apparently, living was hard on a new person.
Dylan felt it was an annoying, time-sucking thing. All she wanted to do was sleep for four hours straight. Hell, she’d take two hours at this point.
Holden was having no issue with the entire process; he got a good nights’ sleep and didn’t have to feed the baby every two hours. His life was fucking perfect.
“OMG! Jake told me everything. I’m so glad I’m a pushy wife!” A tall, auburn-haired woman in scrubs rushed into the room, dropped a bag on the floor, and hugged Holden. Based on her expression, it seemed like the woman’s excitement was just as surprising to him. Letting him go, she turned to Dylan. “Let me see him. It’s a him, right? I cannot believe this. If you need anything, I have it all! I mean it all. Liam, my youngest, is three, so we kept everything. We’re planning to have another one day, but not yet. I’ve got everything from crib to clothes. All yours, if you want it.” She paused for a breath, then asked, “Can I hold him?”
Holden smiled at the woman. “Dylan, this is Mara David. I work with her husband, Jake. Mara works in the ER and saw you come through yesterday. She’s how I found you.”
Dylan handed the baby off because Mara was going to take him anyway. “I forced Jake to tell me about the big romance, and how many girl-Dylans are there your age? Or Dylan Marquez’s? I mean the J in the front threw me, but I decided to call Holden, anyway.”
The woman pulled the baby close to her and smelled him. “Babies smell great. I can babysit anytime! Well, when I am not working, that is. Did you name him?”
“Tim,” Holden provided.
“Timmy, I love it.”
“Just Tim,” Dylan stated, then hated herself. The woman wasn’t doing anything wrong.
“Just Tim then. He looks like a Tim. Mine are Luke and Liam, but we want a girl. One day, we have time. Are you two going to have more?” Again, the auburn smelled the baby as she bounced him in her arms.
“Not there yet,” Holden said for them. They were miles away from there; centuries away from that talk.
“Well, I mean it about the baby stuff. It’s just in the garage. I’ll have Jake get some stuff out after work. Maybe even take it to your place. We have it all ready. I mean, the last thing you need to do when you get out of here is put together a crib. Or are you moving in with Dylan? Oh, what am I thinking, just because Holden has nothing doesn’t mean Dylan doesn’t.”
“I don’t,” she said quickly, “have anything…that is.”
“Have Jake give me a call, and I can tell him where to put things,” Holden said as the woman smiled bigger than she had before.
“I will, and I have a gift for the mom. So, everyone always gets the baby something, but the mom has needs too! P.S. by the second one, there are way fewer gifts.” With one hand on the kid, like the expert she was, she grabbed the bag from the floor and handed it to her. “I went a little crazy, but it happens.”
Dylan looked into the bag and pulled out three pairs of yoga pants, all in black. She wanted her to start exercising? Seemed odd.
“Thank you.”
“It was the only thing I wore for six months after Luke was born. All stretchy, and they don’t make you feel fat. Genius invention. And if you go out in them, people might think you just got back from the gym instead of just getting up from a nap. Bonus is if you wear them long enough, Holden will get sick of them and never encourage you to actually go to a gym.” She giggled at herself.
“Thank you. They sound more comfortable then fatigues,” she said, but doubted it, since she always wore them during her time off.
“God, yes! You’re going to want to throw all your fatigues out, except for work ones,” she smiled.
“You’re Army?” she asked the woman. Mara was the happiest woman she had ever met, even more bubbly than Elissa.
“Reserves, but I’m done now. But I work here, so maybe not as done as I think. Just not going back to war.”
The two women talked for a while about their time there and if they had ever run into the same people, with both of them being medical. They came up with a name or two before Mara had to get to work. The younger woman reluctantly handed back the baby to his parents. Very reluctantly—she nearly cried.
At the door, she stopped and mentioned, “I’ll bring a car seat for him, tomorrow. You don’t have one, right?”
“I haven’t even thought of it,” Holden said, now holding the baby.
“I’ll bring it in then,” she replied and paused a beat, adding, “We’re waiting before we have another one.”
At that, she turned and left the room, probably crying. Dylan felt bad but had no idea what she could have done. Only handing the baby over to the woman permanently would have stopped her tears, and she might have cried then also.
&nb
sp; “I have a feeling Jake is getting lucky tonight. She’s got baby-making on the brain.” Holden bounced the baby in his arms.
“How old are their kids?”
“Seven and three. She got deployed not long after both were born, and she has it in her head that if she got pregnant, she would be deployed again. Though she’s retired now,” he explained.
“I feel bad when people have to leave their kids. Kids need their parents.” She bit her lip. Her kid didn’t need her, this was completely different.
He either wasn’t listening or was ignoring her because he handed her back the baby. After nearly twenty-four hours, she was getting used to him being around, both Tim and his father.
“Now it seems we don’t have to go shopping for everything he needs. But if you want everything new, we can. My son doesn’t need hand-me-downs.”
“No, it’s fine. He can sleep in any crib, I think.” Her insecurities on it were starting so show.
“How about you slide over and let me sit with you, and we can watch some videos on babies. See what we’re getting into.” He actually pushed her across the narrow bed until he could climb in.
“This isn’t working.” He sighed and shifted her again until she was sitting between his legs, like their movie night so many months before.
As Holden found something to watch, she saw that Tim was almost asleep. Some research sounded good, but with Holden’s heat behind her and the baby’s heat in front of her, she knew she was going to fall asleep any second.
A video started with a cute young mom telling how her days go with her baby. With Holden holding her tight, she let her eyes drift shut. Safe.
Twenty-four hours later, she hadn’t changed her mind, or at least changed her mind enough to not let Holden change it back.
Mara had been true to her word, and Tim was strapped into a car seat that looked way too big for his little body. The woman had also brought pajamas that had puppies all over them and seemed like it was supposed to fit a baby way bigger than Tim. His hands kept disappearing into the sleeves, and Holden kept pulling them out.
