by Charish Reid
“Only sometimes,” she said. “But this is my first book and I’m not ready to write the ‘in your face’ erotica. Maybe later I’ll have the courage, but for now...do you get what I mean?”
He took another drink. “Aye, it makes sense,” he replied. “You want the sweeping romance of the past, but with a touch more diversity. You also want some global politics and adventure, but without the whole Fifty Shades business.”
“That’s exactly what I want. Is that too much?”
“It’s your book, Antonia. You’re meant to have whatever you want.”
A smile played on her lips as she stared into the fire. “It is my book,” she murmured. And she’d just shared it with him. He listened to her without judgement and even asked critical questions about it. She didn’t feel like her dream was ridiculous when she was around Aiden. “My fiancé didn’t think my writing was very important.”
He raised a dark brow as he peered over his glass. “Your fiancé?”
While she was revealing intimate details about her life, during a thunderstorm, one more detail couldn’t hurt. Antonia smiled sadly. “There was another reason why I ‘escaped’ to Ireland,” she began.
Chapter Fifteen
And the plot thickens.
Aiden sat and listened to Antonia recount what it was like to find out her fiancé was cheating on her. He did his best to contain his anger as she described running away from his apartment. If the prick was arrogant enough to pull something like that off before his own wedding, who knows what life may have been like after two years of marriage. He admired her though. Antonia may have been a little buzzed, but she talked about Derek stoically. She wasn’t on the verge of tears this evening. He knew there was something more to yesterday’s washing machine panic. This was the pain that lay just below the surface.
“How did you two meet?”
She chuckled. “Oh god, I was at a sports bar for a work colleague’s birthday. He was there with his finance buddies and talked me up at the bar.”
Aiden stared into the fire, hating this guy the more he heard about him. “Honestly, everything just moved so fast after that. He gave me his phone number, I called, and he wooed me with dinner. Within eight or nine months, he asked me to marry him.”
“What made you say yes?”
Antonia shrugged. “I loved him. I thought we were compatible? Looking back on it, I think I ignored a lot of things. At least, that’s what my sister says.”
Aiden opened his mouth to say something supportive, but closed it. He was unsure of how to regard her. His initial idea of going to her cottage now seemed silly. This woman was still in tremendous pain. He looked at her, sitting cross-legged before the fire. Her beauty shone through her frumpy house clothes. Those wild curls piled on her head were begging to be released so he could bury his face against them. Her large brown eyes followed the flicker of flames with a sadness that Aiden was desperate to kiss away.
“I’m tired of not being listened to,” she said after a long pause. She turned toward him, setting her glass on the rug. “Derek didn’t hear me that much and when he did, he wasn’t listening. My ideas were useless to him. It wasn’t just how he disregarded my book, there were other things. When I told him that I was burned out at work, I didn’t mean that I was going to quit my job.” Antonia stopped and searched for the right words. “I mean, my boss wasn’t listening to me there, if you want to be perfectly honest about it. He didn’t listen to me when I told him publishing his nephew’s novel was a terrible idea. But Derek heard me complain and took that to mean...” She trailed off.
“Mean what?”
“...that when we got married, I’d just quit my job anyway. I think he wanted me to be like his mother. A wealthy woman who sits at home. Someone he could just show off at company Christmas parties.” Her long, dark lashes lowered as her gaze dropped to the floor. “When I told him that the wedding was off, I also told him about my layoff. He made it sound like an excuse for us to keep going.”
“Like, you’d still need him?”
Antonia nodded. “And for a minute, it was tempting.”
“What about now?” Aiden asked. His heart pounded as he waited to hear her answer.
She peeked at him and smiled bashfully. “I don’t think I need him,” she said. “I was hustling before I met him. I guess I’ll continue to hustle.”
He released the breath he’d held and nodded. “I’ll drink to that,” he said, holding his glass aloft.
She picked up her glass and tapped it against his. “Slainte,” she said.
“Slainte.”
After taking another sip, she asked him, “What about you, Aiden? Have you ever almost been married?”
“Not even close,” he said. “The last woman I dated was my colleague and she left me for better career prospects.”
“Oh?” By the look on her face, Aiden wondered if she was relieved that she wasn’t the only damaged person in the room. “How long ago was that?”
“Nearly a year ago,” he said, smiling to himself. “Around this time, actually.”
Antonia asked, sitting up straighter. “What was her name?
“Lisa Brennan. She’s moved to Paris to teach at the Sorbonne.”
“Was there someone else?”
Aiden shook his head. “As far as I know, just Victorian literature and job opportunities.”
Antonia sighed. “That’s good, at least. I wouldn’t wish what happened to me on my worst enemy.”
“That’s thoughtful of you,” Aiden said with a chuckle. “But I’m not blameless in my relationship with Lisa.”
Antonia studied him. “How did it end?”
“It’s hard to say,” he said, carefully choosing his words. “If she had one foot out the door, I’m sure my priorities weren’t in order. I didn’t know that she was unhappy or that I was moving too slow for her. I thought she liked Galway, that she might want to build a life there with me. But I think she wanted us to be an academic super duo. Perhaps she had it in her mind that we’d get tenure together and I was dragging my feet.”
“Are you still trying to get tenure?”
He gave a mirthless laugh. “Aye, I’m trying. I’ve got a year before they review everything, but it’s still nerve-racking. Although she and I were quite different, Lisa was right about one thing: I had my head buried in the sand while this was quickly approaching. I’m paying for it now.”
“What happens if you don’t get tenure?” Antonia asked, nibbling on her bottom lip.
Aiden stared at her mouth and realized he didn’t want to talk about this anymore. He wanted to nibble on her lip instead. “The university is going to have to let me go,” he said.
“You’ll lose your job?”
“That’s how academia works, my dear,” he said with a rueful grin. “It’s not as liberal as you think. But don’t fret, I’m steadily working on it. I’ve got a conference next week and I’m going to put out a book proposal.”
“If you need help with your proposal,” Antonia said in a bashful voice. “I’m qualified to assist you.”
Aiden paused. “Really?”
She nodded. “Sure, I won’t know everything about your subject matter, but I know what makes for a good nonfiction proposal. My first editing job was at my university’s press.”
It was a generous offer that he had nothing to counter with. The sweet glow in her cheeks touched his heart in a way he didn’t think was possible. “That would be lovely. Thank you, Antonia,” he said, glancing away from her. Unsure what to do with himself, he went back to his drink.
“So you’re steadily working on your career. What about the relationship part of your life?” Antonia asked, tilting her head. “Did you want to marry Lisa?”
“Perhaps,” he said. “It took me awhile to realize that I wanted to get married, but just not to her I suppose. When we
first started out, I thought she was an efficient woman...” Aiden trailed off when he saw Antonia frown. “That’s a terrible way to describe her.”
“Yes,” she said with a laugh. “No woman wants to be known as efficient.”
He nodded. “Right. I liked how put-together she was. But after a while, I could see that our differences were getting harder to ignore. I like teaching, but I want to start a family one day. I want to come home from the university and share something with someone. Lisa wasn’t interested in that.”
“Her career is important,” Antonia reminded him.
“Yes, it is. There are a lot of minefields for a woman in this industry, so I can’t blame her for choosing her career over me. I just wish...”
“What?”
It was difficult for him to articulate his past, but with Antonia, he found himself easing into her warm embrace. Aiden had not even described his conflicting feelings regarding Lisa with Robert, who knew them both quite well. “I just wish I had convinced her that we could have worked on both together. Instead, I just pulled away from her.”
The look in Antonia’s eyes wasn’t one of pity, but sadness. “I think I can understand that.”
“While she’s in the past, I still needed to learn that lesson,” Aiden said, searching her gaze. He wanted her to look at him, but she was staring into the fire. “I needed to recognize my mistakes before the next relationship.”
With her eyes fixed on the flames, Antonia nodded. “You’re right,” she murmured. “We have to fix the mistakes now...for the next relationship.”
Aiden wanted to know what she was thinking about as she worried her thumbnail between her teeth. “Antonia,” he said in a soft voice.
She finally turned to look at him. “Hm?”
“Thank you for talking.”
Antonia nodded and flashed him a beautiful smile. In that moment, Aiden wanted nothing more than to kiss the smart arch of her brow, the bridge of her nose, and the corners of her mouth. She pulled him with an invisible lure that made his body alive with electricity. Does she feel it too? “Are you hungry?” she asked. The question ended with her eyes dropping to his naked torso.
“I am,” he said with a thick voice. Her tone was innocent, but Aiden was brought back to the SuperValu where they first met. Her smile had the ability to make him lose his words as his blood rushed downward. He sat up and discreetly adjusted his damp jeans.
“Me too,” she breathed, met his gaze, and blushed. “The drink is going to my head.” She drew herself from the floor, stood, and stretched.
“Do you need any help in the kitchen?”
Antonia shook her head. “No, you stay there. While you’re in my cottage, I’d like to try feeding you.”
He watched her walk away, the gentle slope of her hips swayed as she went. Quiet intimacy like this was what Aiden missed most. He and Lisa had stopped talking honestly to one another long before she announced she was leaving him. In the evenings, they’d come home, tired from teaching and settled into watching television. On the weekends, she’d worked on things in her office, while he went out on the boat he kept tethered by the river. Instead of talking to his girlfriend, he’d taken to the water. The irony didn’t escape his notice. Aiden had to remember that all of his answers didn’t lie at the bottom of the ocean.
* * *
Antonia felt her way around the kitchen, listening to the storm batter the village. She hated to imagine what it might look like the next day. She wanted to avoid thinking about tomorrow for a more pressing reason; Aiden would leave her in the morning. Antonia didn’t want the storm or the night to end.
“Are you alright in there?” she heard him ask.
With her head in the fridge, searching for a wedge of soft cheese that needed rescuing, she called back, “I’m fine.”
She patted things with her hands, feeling for the cheese. When she found it, she put it on the counter and went searching for the crackers. If she remembered correctly, she’d left them on top of the fridge. Blindly, she reached up and swept her hand across the top, knocking over the electric teakettle. It hit the floor with a clatter, making her jump back and yelp. “Shit!”
“What happened?”
“I’m fine,” she said. “I just knocked something off the fridge.”
In the darkness, she heard his footsteps travel from the living room to the kitchen.
She detected the dark outline of his body against the dim light of the dying fire. She stood in the opposite doorway, watching him take halted steps into the kitchen. “Are you hurt?” His voice was a low and warm vibration that filled the space.
“No,” she said, taking a tentative step forward. “It was the teakettle, but it didn’t hit me.”
“What are you looking for?”
“Crackers,” she laughed. “I swear that I’m not usually a klutz in the kitchen. I can find my way around in the light.”
“I don’t know if I believe that,” he said. His voice drew closer. The air became thick and heavy when he closed the distance between them. “This kitchen and its appliances have been giving you problems from day one.”
Antonia’s voice caught in her chest in response to the warmth of his body right before her. She was between a rock and a hard place, positioned before the refrigerator, facing him. He was still shirtless. She closed her eyes and imagined his rippling muscles from earlier. Her breathing became shallow and fast as he drew closer still. “Aiden,” she whispered.
“Antonia,” he replied, his voice thick.
He stood so close to her, his hands hovering over her arms until finally they closed around her. He slid one hand up to her shoulder and to her neck. His long and graceful fingers intertwined through tight coils at the back of her head. Aiden’s movements were agonizingly slow, as if he could not trust his sense of touch in the darkness. As Antonia tilted her head back against his supporting hand, she waited for his gentle exploration to gain traction. His other hand slid down to her hip before traveling to the small of her back, pulling her hips closer to his. It was like yesterday’s washing machine incident. She’d felt the urge then and hoped for release now.
She let out a soft moan as he gently tugged her head back. When his lips pressed against the rioting pulse of her neck, her knees shook in anticipation. Antonia was unsure of what to do with her hands; they hung at her sides helplessly as he kissed her collarbone. Ever so slightly, his chest brushed against her breasts, causing a new warmth to spread throughout her body. Her movements were tentative, as she slowly lifted her hands and placed them on his tight biceps. She held on as her emotions pitched like the restless seas. Her excitement was quickly put on hold when he paused, pulled away from her neck, and whispered, “I’m sorry.”
Antonia’s eyes flew open. Sorry? With her hands still gripping his strong arms, she pulled him closer. “For what?” she breathed.
Aiden dropped his hands to her waist, his thumbs gently caressing her hips, but he did move back a scant. “I truly didn’t come over here to liquor you up and have my way with you.” There was an edge in his voice, as if he struggled against his desire. His breath was ragged as he continued. “I don’t want you to think...”
Antonia was confused. And aching. The excited shiver that still coursed through her body made her breasts heavy and full as the juncture between her legs grew wet. These were all of the feelings she had missed with Derek. She felt them with a new man, a powerful arousal that needed to be sated. Why not tonight? Her hands traveled up his arms, to the sides of his face, cupping his lean cheeks. The stubble she ran her fingers against thrilled her all over again. Only seconds before, that stubble had tickled and scratched her neck. Why not tonight? He started this and, by god, she would make some progress. In the darkness, Antonia leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. She caught his lower lip by accident, and her hands moved to tilt his head down to adjust accordingly.<
br />
He groaned, relaxing his body as she took her first tentative kiss. Aiden’s arms circled her waist, pulling her against him. She wanted desperately to take off her sweatshirt to feel the heat of his bare chest. His body crowded against hers, pressing his bold arousal to her softness. He returned her kiss, his mouth covering hers hungrily. Antonia did her best to keep up with his demanding lips, countering with an urgent and exploratory tongue. She savored the smoky sweet flavor of whiskey, as his scent and taste pulled her down, below the surface, into new depths of pleasure. Antonia was fully prepared to drown in the wet darkness of her own lust, as she pushed against his body, helplessly rocking her hips for more sensation.
Between his devouring kisses, she shrugged out of her sweatshirt, pulling her arms out of the sleeves and forcing it over her head. Aiden slipped his hands upward and gently tugged at her loose ponytail until her curls cascaded around her shoulders. She tossed her sweatshirt to the floor and returned to his lips. Feverish with want, she was ready to swoon from his careful ministrations. His hands left her tangled curls and traveled slowly down her neck to her chest, settling on her pounding heart. Finally, his large hands cupped her breasts, pushing them up against the neckline of her tank top. Antonia arched against him, tipping her head back against the refrigerator. “Please,” she begged as his fingers fanned against each nipple, causing them to tighten beneath her shirt.
His hands left her swollen breasts and swiftly took her by the thighs. Antonia yelped in surprise when he hoisted her against his midsection. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he spun her around and set her on the edge of the kitchen sink. His lips returned to her neck, pressing kisses along her hot skin until his tongue lathed down to the tops of her breasts. Antonia balanced herself against the sink, legs still wrapped around him, pushing her sex against his grinding hips. As his wet tongue dipped into the valley of her cleavage, she gasped from the pleasure.
Boom, boom, boom!
The pounding at her front door frightened them both. Aiden straightened up, nearly knocking Antonia off the counter. She screeched as she pitched forward, but he managed to catch her before she fell to the floor. “Jaysus, Mary, and fucking Joseph,” he shouted. “Who is it?”
