Poison Apple Crisp

by Addison Moore

  “Dear Lottie.” Ginger groans and spins in a circle. “Don’t you think a bit of restraint could go a long way? This woman knows something. I can feel it in my tiny little bones. If you keep this up, she’ll clam up. She might even try to avoid you the next time you’re around. Now that wouldn’t help Brenda, would it?”

  My lips cinch in a knot. Ginger is right.

  Cokie manufactures the idea of a smile. “My apologies, Lottie. I can see you feel very deeply about both of these men. Suddenly, it feels as if I’m a fourth wheel.” She belts out a laugh, and both Noah and Everett chuckle along with her.

  “Please don’t apologize,” I say. “I’m the one who owes you an apology. My head hasn’t been where it should be as of late. It’s as if this baby has taken over and I just say whatever I want.”

  “Not to worry,” she says. “And that’s a trait that Noah used to have way back when, so perhaps that’s a hint the baby is his.” She winks at Everett as if staking her claim.

  Fat chance, sister. I’m not relinquishing either one of them into her murderous little claws.

  Everett gives Noah a cool look. “Lemon has been quite expressive in other ways as well. A trait I’m well known for. I think the baby has a rock solid chance of being mine.”

  Now it’s my turn to chuckle.

  Cokie shakes her head. “I must say, Lottie, I’ve never met anyone quite as lucky as you, to have not one but two of Fallbrook’s finest men warring over you. And don’t think I won’t be paying attention several months from now when the bough breaks. I’ll be there to catch whichever one of these men falls by the wayside.” She laughs once again. “I’ve never been shy when it comes to gifting these two men my affection.”

  Carlotta pokes her head in. “That’s where my Lot Lot shines, too.”

  I hold up a breadstick with a threat in my eyes, and she willfully retreats.

  Noah takes another slice of pizza. “Cokie, were you close to Brenda?”

  “Not I.” She pushes her food away an inch as if it were the deceased. “For the most part, I had to tolerate Brenda. She was the head of the parent-teacher association. There was no way around her.”

  Noah grunts. “I get it. So who would you say was closest to Brenda? Any best friend that I could talk to?” He lays an emphasis on the word I, and I give him a gentle kick under the table to acknowledge it.

  “Yes, in fact, there was.” She nods aggressively. “Rachelle Dalton and Brenda were thick as thieves. Brenda used to be close to a woman named Alyssa Thomas as well, but they had some frivolous falling-out a while back. I don’t really know what that was about.” Her gaze shoots to the side as if maybe she might.

  Ginger floats down to Cokie’s shoulder. “Come now, Cokie, tell us the truth. Where were you on the night my dearly departed Brenda left for the big doghouse in the sky?”

  I can’t help but smile.

  “I take it I’m doing good, Lottie.” Ginger glows with pride a luminescent shade of pink, and I nod her way as if acknowledging the fact I agree with her.

  A thought comes to me. “Wait a minute. I think I met Alyssa last night. She was the woman with the pink shoes.” I look to Everett. “She mentioned her son was going to be a senior, and she was glad about it, too. She also mentioned the fact the PTA would have a seat to fill. I asked if she was up for it, and she said no. Oh, and she also mentioned she enjoyed my apple crisp.”

  Cokie gives a wistful shake of the head. “Who didn’t?” She glances to her phone. “I’d better get going. I need to be up with the sun and in my office. This school year is already off to a rocky start.” She sobers up as she looks my way. “Good luck with the baby.”

  “Thank you,” I say. “And I’ll be sure to bring that book we talked about earlier to my mother’s before the big fundraiser. If you don’t mind, I’d like to hang onto it and read it first. I’ll be extra careful not to wrinkle the pages. I’m incredibly interested in crime fiction.”

  “Yes.” She tips her head back, no smile. “The rumor mill has also been buzzing about your ability to solve crimes.” She pulls her purse onto her shoulder. “I’ll see you all soon enough. Noah, Essex, if either of you would like an ear to bend, I’m always available for a cup of coffee. Where are you both staying now? Are you still in Fallbrook?”

  Everett lifts his chin. “Nope. We’re neighbors right here in Honey Hollow, on Country Cottage Road. I live next door to Lemon, and Noah is in a cabin across the street.”

  “Noah was there first,” I offer. “That’s back when we were dating exclusively and I had to move. Could you believe two houses were up for lease right across the street from him, and I was practically forced to pick the cute one with the white picket fence and red door? Everett bought the big blue one next to mine, and we’ve all been one big, happy family ever since.”

  Her lips turn down as she offers a bitter smile. “How wonderful that must be for you, Lottie. Convenient even.” She looks to Noah and Everett. “I know how it feels to play second fiddle to someone. I can surely commiserate.” She says goodnight before taking off, and I choke in her wake.

  “Did you hear that?” I gag. “That was a total dig at me. And what is this rumor mill she keeps talking about? Were those adults she was referring to, because it certainly didn’t sound like it.”

  Carlotta leans back. “Welcome to the mean girl jungle, Lot Lot, where it’s eat or be eaten. Don’t you worry. I’ve got the perfect plan to launch both you and Evie Stevie to the top of the food chain.”

  “Don’t you dare,” I bark.

  “Don’t you tell me what to do,” she barks right back.

  “Come on, Carlotta.” Mayor Nash tries to garner her attention. “I think it’s time we leave.”

  “You don’t tell me what to do for sure,” she snips his way. “I decide when it’s time to leave, and I say we leave right now. Last one to the car gets the duct tape.”

  They speed out like a couple of apparitions.

  I look to both Noah and Everett. “And don’t either of you even think of telling me what to do.”

  Everett’s lids hood over his eyes, and this time there’s a touch of lust in those lusty high beams of his. Noah glowers as if I had just started a war, and something tells me I may have.

  “We’ve got a long seven months or so ahead of us,” I say. “You both want me happy, don’t you?”

  They’re both slow to nod.

  Everett takes up my hand and kisses that wedding band he landed there a few months back—an emerald cut diamond surrounded with smaller sparklers. It takes my breath away each time I look at it.

  “Lemon, I live to see you happy. But I’d also like to see you in one piece. If Cokie is right, whoever killed Brenda Phillips already knows that you’re one of the best.”

  “That’s right.” Noah leans in. “And that means they’re ready for you to come knocking. Don’t put yourself in danger, Lottie. Don’t put our child in harm’s way, whether you mean to or not.” He runs his finger along one of the ridiculous pink ribbons attached to my wrist. I’m sure Cokie thinks I’m an insane person for far more reasons than these odd accessories. “Are you hoping for a girl? Is that why you’re wearing these?”

  “I’m hoping not to puke. That’s the reason for the pink season. But to be truthful, I hadn’t even thought about what gender I might like best. I guess I’ll take what nature gives me. A daughter would be amazing.” My chest bucks with emotion, and Everett wraps an arm around me. “But then, so would a baby boy.”

  “Let’s get you home, Lemon. It’s been a trying week, and we still haven’t got out of the gate.”

  He drops a wad of cash onto our table and Carlotta’s. They left in such a hurry it seems they forgot to pay—seems would be the operative word.

  Once we step out into the crisp fall air, Noah wraps his arms around me and gifts a tender kiss to my forehead.

  “If you need anything, I’m right across the street, Lot. I love you.”

  “Love you, too,” I say
as he takes off, and I turn and grimace at Everett. “I’m sorry. That was awkward and disrespectful.” I wince. “It sort of just slipped out.”

  “It’s okay, Lemon. I know you’ll always have a heart for him.” His lips twitch. “Now get in the car,” he says it stern like he means it. “I’m taking you home.”

  “Don’t you dare tell me where to go.” I bite down on a smile. “Now take me to my place. I expect to be bathed and put to bed properly. Do you think you’re man enough for the task?”

  Everett gives a long blink. “You’ve pushed the limit, Lemon. And now I’ll be forced to show you exactly how much of a man I can be.”

  Ginger appears next to me and barks up a storm. “Oh, Lottie, I’m swooning. He’s just as rough and tough as my Emmet was. And if he’s anything like him when you’re alone, you’re in for a real treat. I’ll be with the boys myself. The cats are rather taking a liking to me.” And with that, she blinks right out of sight in a plume of purple smoke.

  Everett takes me home, indulges me with a bath, and teaches me one quasi-tender lesson after another until we’re both spent and fast asleep.

  Chapter 6

  Thump.

  My lids are glued shut, and I can feel the weight of Everett’s arm over my body.

  Thump.

  I give a few light blinks as I begin to stir to life. It’s still dark out. My alarm hasn’t gone off yet, so it must be earlier than four-thirty.

  Tap, tap, tap.

  I sit up and give Everett a shake.

  “What is it?” He sits up on his elbows as the moonlight streaks across his chest.

  “I heard a noise,” I hiss.

  “What kind of noise?”

  Crash!

  “That kind of noise.”

  Both Everett and I jump out of bed, and I throw my robe on while Everett does his best to dance into his boxers. I flick on the light and grab that trusty Glock Everett and Noah gifted me a while ago that I aptly nicknamed Ethel.

  “I’d ditch the gun, Lemon,” he pants. “It might be Carlotta. She might have forgotten something and come back.”

  Makes sense. Whenever Everett spends the night, I ask Carlotta to sleep in Everett’s spare bedroom next door so that Evie won’t be alone. And while his theory could hold water, I don’t like the way any of that sounded.

  I decide to hang onto Ethel while Everett rushes into the hall in front of me, and we see a flash of light go off as a shadow runs out of the house. An icy breeze whistles in, and I scream bloody murder while brandishing Ethel at my poor cats.

  “Lemon, get out of the house,” Everett thunders. “There might be someone else here.” He navigates us out onto the porch, and the sound of footfalls comes from our right as that shadow darts across the street just past Noah’s cabin.

  Everett races that way, and I’m right behind him, screaming as if someone just set my hair on fire.

  Noah runs out in nothing but a pair of boxers himself, and in his hand is his government-issued weapon.

  “What’s going on?” he riots as he does his best to transcend the wailing emitting from my throat.

  “Intruder!” I stretch the word out fast as a bullet train, and without warning, Noah fires his gun near Everett’s feet.

  Everett jumps backward. “What the hell are you doing?” he riots.

  A few of the neighbors’ lights go on, and I can feel the weight of their stares.

  “Lottie Dottie!” Carlotta wails as she and Evie run this way.

  “Everett?” Noah takes a few blind steps forward, his weapon still very much drawn and aiming to please.

  “Yes! It’s me. Put that thing down,” Everett shouts as if he’s about to start a prison riot.

  Noah runs over and grabs ahold of me. “Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”

  “Stay here, Evie,” Everett barks before coming my way. “Give me your gun, Lemon. I’m going back to check the house.” He takes Ethel from me and darts across the street.

  “Lottie”—Noah pants hard, his breath pluming out like smoke—“what happened?”

  “We were asleep.” I look to both Evie and Carlotta shivering in their PJ’s. “And I heard a noise. And then I heard it again and again. Everett thought it might be Carlotta, but when we got into the hall, we saw a shadow running out of the house and we followed it this way. I guess they took off into the woods.”

  Noah glances back at the green belt of pine trees that hugs the cul-de-sac. “They might still be out here. Why don’t the three of you head to Everett’s? Get warm. Try to get some sleep if you can. I’m going to call this in. Chances are they’ve already taken off, but they might be waiting it out to see if we’ll leave first.”

  We head across the street together, and Carlotta and Evie stay at the base of my driveway while Noah and I head up the porch.

  Just a few days ago, Everett and Noah pulled the fall decorations out of my attic while Evie, Carlotta, and I festooned the porch, outlining the door with silk maple leaves. We went down to the local pumpkin patch and bought a few of those happy orange globes, and we even convinced Everett to haul a few bales of hay over to give it that homey autumn appeal we love so much. My house looks so adorable, so innocent, and I just hate that it—that we were so blatantly violated.

  The house is lit up as bright as a football field as Everett comes out shaking his head.

  “They’re gone.”

  Pancake and Waffles wander to the door, and I quickly scoop up Pancake as Evie takes Waffles.

  “Come here, you fat, furry beast.” She lands a kiss right over his nose. “You scared me to death! I thought a robber took off with you. God knows you’re the only valuable thing in that house. Sorry, Mom, but it’s the truth.”

  “No apology necessary. And you’re right,” I say, peering inside cautiously.

  It looks as if a few knickknacks were knocked off the sofa table, a tall ceramic vase I keep near the door is lying on its side, but outside of that, I don’t notice anything out of place.

  “What do you think they wanted?” I ask as I hold Pancake close to keep me warm.

  “No idea.” Noah gives the back of his neck a slap. “Why don’t you go on in, Lottie? I’m guessing they came in through the front door since the windows are intact. If they wore gloves, we won’t find prints, and at this point, I think we should be glad they took off.”

  I glance to the coffee table and something seems off, and just as I’m about to scour my brain, it hits me.

  “The book!” I shout as I stagger past both Noah and Everett as I make my way into the living room. “I had it right here on the table.” I give a frantic look around as Pancake hops right out of my arms with a yowl.

  A shimmer of stars erupts from down near the fireplace, and Ginger materializes in all her ghostly glory.

  “Are they gone?” she hisses it out, and Pancake walks over to her and spins around the poltergeist as if he could see her. A while back, my friend, Bizzy Baker, who also happens to be transmundane—telesensual to be exact, meaning she can read the human and animal mind—paid me a visit. She helped me talk to Pancake and Waffles, and it turns out, they can sense the ghosts that come back to help me solve these heinous crimes and my sweet cats don’t mind them one bit.

  “Ginger,” I whisper, glancing behind me to make sure it’s still just Noah and Everett in the house with me as I take up their hands so they can hear, too. About a year ago, we discovered that I work as sort of a conduit, and if they hold my hands they can hear the dead just as clear as I can. “Did you see anything?”

  “Oh yes, I was getting frisky with Pancake here. Or was it Waffles?” She cocks her furry head toward the ceiling. “Anyway, a bright light streamed in and blinded the three of us. The next thing we knew, someone was walking right through the door.”

  Everett and I exchange a look.

  “I’m sorry, Lemon.” He gives a hard blink. “I was distracted. I don’t remember locking the door.”

  “Neither do I.”

  A wave of
guilt sweeps over me because I distinctly remember yelling at Everett to step away from the door in order to work him up for our bedroom adventure.

  This is what I get for listening to Carlotta. I always knew her advice was dangerous, and here she almost got us killed.

  “Wait a minute.” I lean toward that sparkling cutie. “Ginger? Could you tell me what you saw? What did they look like?”

  “Oh, they were wrapped in dark clothes from head to foot.” She shakes out her fur, and a sprinkling of stars hurls from her. “I just saw the one. They had a funny hat on and it covered their face. But they came straight in and grabbed something off that table and left.”

  Noah, Everett, and I exchange glances.

  “You mentioned a book, Lottie.” Noah leans in. “What book?”

  My lips press tightly. “Justice Served Cold: The Story of Desmond Meadows.”

  Everett pinches his eyes shut a moment. “The autographed copy worth some serious money. The book Cokie was anxious to get back.”

  I nod. “That’s the one.”

  Evie and Carlotta edge their way in.

  “Carlotta told me what this was all about,” Evie spits it out with venom. “I think the three of you are sick.” She bends over and scoops up Pancake and bundles him close to his brother. “I’m taking the cats next door, and I’m sleeping in until noon. And I don’t want to hear any flack about it either,” she bites the words out as she speeds out the door.

  “Carlotta?” My tone is curt and demands an explanation all on its own.

  She bats a hand my way. “Would you keep it down? I just told her what I thought best.”

  A groan comes from Everett. Or come to think about it, it might have been Noah. Probably both.

  “Spill it,” I say. “We can’t leave her over there by herself. And I demand to know what’s going on in that poor kid’s head.”

  Carlotta struts forward, doing her best impersonation of a chicken.

  “I told her the three of you were gearing up to get kinky and that old Foxy was playing the part of a masked intruder.”