by Jay Key
A subtle tug on his hand diverted Duke’s attention to a diminutive alien known as a Broan.
“This way, Mr. LaGrange,” he moaned. He was clearly not an enthusiastic little fella.
“We saw you earlier. At the Booze Man’s joint.”
“His prices are pretty reasonable,” replied the Broan in the deadpan cadence typical of his species. “And there’s not a lot of small talk. I hate small talk.”
“Yeah, I bet,” said Duke, sharing a glance with Ishiro’shea.
The trio stepped into a plastic booth. The Broan handed them each a minute earpiece. “See that screen straight ahead of you?”
“Yeah, the big one?”
“Yeah, the big one. That’s where I’ll broadcast your Zylantian friend. She’s pretty aggressive, if you ask me.”
“Thank you.” Duke paused. “I don’t believe I got your name?”
“Fogerly Crasstop.”
“Thank you, Fogerly Crasstop.”
The Broan closed the door to the cylindrical booth, walked to a panel and tapped away at a few buttons.
Mama Fong’s face appeared on the primary screen. Her three eyes focused on Duke.
“It’s an honor to talk to you again, Mama Fong.”
“And you as well,” she reciprocated. Given her manners, Duke had trouble understanding how Mama Fong grew up on such a disgustingly crude planet as Zylantia. “And, I must say, your friend Mr. Dallas, is quite the specimen.”
Is she blushing? Is Mama Fong, the grizzled leader of the Bounty Hunters Union, actually blushing?
“I’m not following you?”
“Where have you been hiding him?”
“I just met him, Mama Fong.”
“Oh, that’s right. I apologize. He’s just so charming. And easy on the eyes. That’s saying a lot, LaGrange, since I have three. I think I might be a tad out of sorts. It’s been a while.”
Unbelievable.
“He’s apparently a pretty significant part of Hefty Senchax’s criminal empire,” Duke reminded the Zylantian.
“I have no doubts about that. You know, Duke, if you really think about it...”
“Yes?”
“He’s a bit like you.”
That’s because he’s my deadbeat coward of a father that was too full of himself to finish raising an orphaned kid left to die in the heat of the Nova Texan sun.
“I hadn’t noticed.”
“He’s like a slightly more rugged version of you.”
Okay, there’s that Zylantian congeniality.
“A similar energy, though.” She took a breath, gathering herself. “But what do you think? Charm aside, what do you think of this alliance? Is it a trap?”
Duke knew that this potential alliance and his knowledge of the location of the Four I’s headquarters were the two things keeping him alive. It was in his best interest to bet on the partnership being on the up-and-up, because anything else would likely find him on the down-and-down. And if he didn’t have the partnership, then attacking the Four I’s was less of a strategic offensive and more of a suicide mission. The truth was, he wanted to believe Duke Dallas’ intentions. He wanted to believe that Hefty Senchax, despite building a multi-planetary empire by double-crossing every person he came across, was capable of seeing that this was the most logical way to take out the oppressive Four I’s contingent. He really, really wanted to.
“I don’t think it’s a trap, no.”
“But?” Mama Fong asked.
“I do think that Hefty and any of the crime bosses that decide to join will be quick to turn once the outlook grows the slightest shade of grim.”
“Honor amongst thieves?”
“Not with this lot. They give thieves a bad name. A more financially prosperous name, but a bad one, nonetheless.”
“I see.”
“Even so, I do believe that Senchax and his operation are aligned to the fact that a joint attack with the BHU is the best, most plausible way to take out the Four I’s. After that, I wouldn’t even try and guess his intentions.”
“Do you believe this Dallas character?”
“Why does that matter?” Duke snapped.
Mama Fong squinted with all three eyes.
“I’m sorry,” the bounty hunter recoiled. “I’m a bit jumpy. It’s hasn’t been a smooth trip here to Prime.”
“Understood, LaGrange.”
“Yeah, I believe him. As much as anyone, I guess. What were the terms of the partnership anyways?”
“Pretty standard. We coordinate together as equals. If we can’t land on a joint plan, then we don’t pursue further. However, assuming that we align on a strategy that both parties feel can win, we do our best to have our teams operate independently.”
“I could see how bounty hunters ordering gang bosses around, or vice versa, could be interesting.”
“And not productive.”
“And if we’re successful?”
“We agreed to give them a grace period.”
“For what?”
“A grace period of one cycle that we won’t pursue those that aided in the battle. In fact, Dallas seemed to think it would be a fairly significant recruiting tool.”
“Is that wise?”
“Financially speaking, we will survive. They will be paying us a portion of the fair market value of the bounties on their respective heads. It will be placed into a third party account and distributed over time in equal increments until the cycle has ended.”
“Shockingly sound.”
“I was surprised too. That Dallas character knows his stuff.”
Except how to be a decent father.
“Agreed on plan... Grace period… A fair market fee to leave them alone. Seems pretty airtight.”
“Dallas did have one more request.”
“What’s that?”
The Zylantian’s mouth puckered. “He demanded that you remain with him under Hefty’s control, at least until the assault is over.”
“And?”
“And what? That’s why I wanted to talk to you. You’re one of the longest-standing members in our ranks. You’ve never missed a single BHU payment. I won’t agree to this without your blessing. Our union is only as strong as our members.”
For the first time in what felt like a dozen cycles a warm feeling consumed Duke’s body. There was no life-long love selling him out to Admiral LePaco. There was no intergalactic dogfight with an Armada Titan. There was no kidnapped child or swarm of swamp people or power gauntlets. He felt happy. Duke searched his memory to remember the last time that he truly felt this way. It was his last night on Neprius. A night with a beautiful, powerful lady.
“Mama Fong, thank you. But it would be selfish—even for me—to deny a chance to take out the Four I’s and, possibly, LePaco because of my imprisonment. I’m fine going along with the plan.”
Ishiro’shea stepped in front of Duke.
“Ish, you can’t go instead of me. I got this.”
The ninja pointed to himself adamantly.
“No, you can’t join me either. Maybe we can negotiate with Hefty to get the Deus back and you can join the BHU fleet.”
Ishiro did not yield.
“Guys,” Mama Fong interjected, “I think Hefty meant both of you.”
Duke noticed Ishiro’shea smiling under his mask.
“I’m not sure when I will be in contact with you again but, on behalf of your brothers and sisters in the Bounty Hunters Union, good luck. Good luck to both of you. I hope we meet again soon.”
“In a world without Admiral LePaco and the Four I’s.”
“That’s the plan,” Fong replied.
The screen went black. A sharp ringing stung Duke’s ears.
“Holy hedgehogs!” Duke screamed.
The ringing smoothed to become the monotone voice of Fogerly Crasstop.
“Sorry about that. But you have another communication coming in,” muttered the Broan.
“From who?”
“The boss.�
�
Hefty Senchax appeared on the large screen. His bulbous face extended well beyond the monitor.
“I just talked to Dallas,” said the crime lord in between belches that didn’t quite escape his mouth, “and it looks like you came through. We might have a chance to take out those bastards after all.”
“Looks like,” said Duke.
“We start our planning tomorrow with your bounty hunter friends. But tonight we celebrate. I want you and Ishiro’shea to be our honored guests.”
“We are definitely honored, Mr. Senchax.”
Duke turned to Ishiro’shea and whispered, “I’ve heard how nuts his parties are; this alone could be worth all that we’ve been through on this dump of a planet.”
“Excellent,” said Hefty. “It’s going to be one of the biggest events that I’ve ever thrown, even at this short notice. Many of the other gang bosses are attending. It’s going to be epic.”
“Sounds fun.”
“I even scored the biggest cover band in the sector.”
“Congratulations, I’m sure they will add to the marvel of the spectacle.”
“The Stampeding Lifeless Androids. You know who they cover?”
“I have an idea, Mr. Senchax.”
Chapter 6
A Chat
HEFTY’S FLAGSHIP WAS IMPRESSIVE. IT was larger than one of the Four I’s battle cruisers and appeared to pack as much firepower as an Armada Titan. Clearly, Senchax’s bottomless pockets had allowed him to build an intimidating lead vessel. The other gang bosses had impressive ships as well, but Hefty’s was something different. Of course, Hefty wasn’t on the ship. He wasn’t about to actually risk his own neck. It was probably a smart decision: Duke assumed that his father was probably more adept in combat than the obese crime lord.
Duke and Ishiro’shea sat on the bridge without any constraints.
Who knew a criminal enterprise could be so trusting? thought Duke.
The bridge was cavernous and followed a similar design to the control center. Screens filled every open space and a litany of races filled the seats, all staring at those screens. Hefty employed the best, regardless of their planet of origin.
The main doors on the back wall slid open. Duke Dallas, trailed by Noot and Roller, stepped over the threshold. The crew all paused and acknowledged the senior officer on the deck with a diverse round of salutes, nods, grunts, and headshakes. Ishiro’shea even extended a thumbs-up.
“Put that down, Ish. He’s not our captain,” said Duke.
“More like captor,” interjected Dallas.
Duke struggled to think of a retort.
“No need for a witty comeback, Duke. I wasn’t being serious. You and Ishiro’shea are free men on my ship.”
“You are too kind, my liege,” Duke replied with a mocking bow. “You are too generous for scum like us.”
Duke Dallas sat down in a chair next to the two bounty hunters. He sported a cheerful expression.
“We missed you at Hefty’s gala. I hope you’re feeling better.”
“Much better. Must have been food poisoning,” Duke replied.
“You didn’t miss much. I wasn’t a huge fan of the musical act. I guess I’m not a fan of their source material.”
“Yeah, I hear they aren’t for everyone,” Duke responded, exchanging a quick glance with Ishiro’shea.
A Sabromm approached and handed Duke Dallas a device. He input a few lines of data and handed it back to the thick-skulled crewman. “Thanks, Jerry.”
“You’re welcome, Captain.”
Duke Dallas turned back to the bounty hunters.
“Tardasio System, huh? I should’ve guessed that. Makes sense. We know the Tardasians aren’t going to put up much of a resistance. They’re isolated. They have plenty of uninhabited moons and planetoids to set up a nifty little operation.”
“Yep, Tardasio,” Duke replied, uninterested in the conversation.
“Did you hear about the plans? Surprisingly, the crime syndicates worked well with the BHU,” stated Dallas.
“I think bounty hunters and criminal masterminds are probably closer in makeup than one might imagine.”
“I don’t doubt that,” Dallas concurred. “It’s a sound strategy. I think we have a chance.”
“Possibly.”
“And more folks joined up than anticipated. I think news of Oscavia and Erontia falling to the Four I’s really hit home. I think they also are close to taking over the entire Ecclox System as well.”
“Neat.”
The Nova Texan stood up and turned his back on the elder Duke.
Dallas sighed deeply. “Look, I know I owe you a chat.”
“You don’t owe me anything,” Duke snapped back. “As far as I’m concerned, when you left after Trixie was murdered, you were as dead as she was.”
“That was a long time ago, Duke.”
“I know, so long ago that it’s like it never happened. In fact, maybe it didn’t. I was young, after all. Maybe it was a figment of my imagination; something to fill the gap after Miss Trixie died. Yeah, I like that story better. I’m going to go with that.”
“Duke, please. There was a reason.”
“Nah, I think I’ll stick to my story, if you don’t mind.”
Duke Dallas plunged his face into his hands. “Look, when Trix died, it hit me hard. The only thing I could think about was revenge. I had to see that son of a bitch mutilated and torn to bits and scattered across the cosmos. It consumed me. I couldn’t be a parent. So I left. I had every intention of returning. I thought it would be a few weeks, tops. But the bastard proved to be harder to track. And I just couldn’t give up. I knew the girls at Trixie’s place would take good care of you.”
“You do realize you left me to be raised in a brothel, right?”
“I didn’t at the time. I mean, I knew it was a brothel but I didn’t consider it ‘leaving you.’ I thought I’d be right back. But I didn’t realize that I’d be so consumed by murderous intent. Death. Killing. But, hey, I couldn’t have been all bad, right? You took my name.”
The younger Duke shook his head. “First off, you gave me a dumbass name to begin with.”
“What? Lafayette? Trix loved that name.”
“The reason I was called Duke was only because one of the girls told me you died in battle and you were a hero. When I learned that wasn’t the case, it was too late. Everyone knew me as Duke. I even tried to change it but it didn’t stick.”
“Change it to what?”
“I had a few phases. I went simple. Tom.”
“You’re not a Tom. You’re a Lafayette. You’re a Duke,” replied Duke Dallas.
“Then I went with Hacksaw LaGrange.”
“I’m guessing no luck there either?”
“Have you called me ‘Hacksaw LaGrange’ yet?”
“Touché.”
“I even had a time when I just referred to myself as ‘The Jaguar.’”
Duke Dallas did not respond.
“So don’t flatter yourself that I go by Duke. It had nothing to do with you, or the real you, at least,” said LaGrange.
“Fair enough.”
“Did you at least track him down? Did you get your revenge?”
“It took a while.”
“What’s a while?”
“Fifteen cycles.”
“Holy hedgehogs. I’ll give you kudos on the dedication.”
“I came back to Nova Texas a few times to check in on you. I was too embarrassed. The longer I stayed away and the older you got, the more embarrassed I felt.”
“I’m glad a bout with embarrassment was too much to overcome. I know I wasn’t your flesh and blood, but you should’ve told Mom that you weren’t interested in a son if something happened to her. She could’ve made arrangements or sent me back to an orphanage.”
“About that—” Dallas began.
“It was almost as bad as my real parents who dumped me on the doorstep of a brothel. Abandoning a kid a second time is p
ure evil.”
He stormed away from Ishiro’shea and his adopted father. Let’s see if I really have freedom on this ship.
The hall that led from the bridge to a centralized elevator bank was dotted with chairs, benches, and other furniture to accommodate the weary space traveler. Duke plopped down on a resting apparatus designed for a T’ckuvian. He closed his eyes and attempted to collect his thoughts.
After an undeterminable amount of time, he awoke. Sitting next to him was his Irish-Japanese companion.
“Hey, Ish.”
The ninja greeted him silently.
“I’m sorry about that. I need to focus on getting out of here. And I hate that the Deus is back on Prime collecting dust. I miss her.”
Ishiro’shea agreed again.
“I’m worried that this detour with the Four I’s is going to put us behind on our real mission. Even if we take out the Four I’s, it doesn’t matter if LePaco finds your parents and the Amplification Key.”
The ninja placed his hand on Duke’s shoulder.
“I hope you’re right, Ish. I hope it will all work out. I’m just not so sure with that bastard running the ship. Let’s just hope he’s a better captain than he was a father. Can you believe that load of garbage he was shoveling at me?”
Ishiro’shea shrugged.
“No, don’t tell me that you believed it,” cried Duke. “C’mon, Ish.”
“Lafayette LaGrange,” shouted Duke Dallas.
“Where did you come from? I’m done with your apologies or whatever that was. No more. Let’s just try and beat these guys and go on our merry ways.”
“Lafayette LaGrange, you weren’t adopted. Not by me, at least.”
“Is this supposed to make me feel better? Or you?”
“Trixie wasn’t your biological mother. But her last name was LaGrange.”
“Yes, I know this. Should I go get your ‘Father of the Year’ trophy now?”
“We both decided to give you that name so that you weren’t dishonored by your biological father. He was a nasty, nasty man that did a lot of nasty things. He was a bounty hunter, back when that wasn’t a glamorous gig with unions and fanfare. It was a hard, gritty way of life. It wasn’t pretty. It was a different time, especially on a place like Nova Texas.”
