After ordering another drink with my fake ID, I scanned the dance floor, skimming over the nameless and faceless bodies, settling on Mac. Again. He was saying something in his partner’s ear, and she was smiling. My fingers tightened around my glass, and I wanted to throw it—at a wall, at her, but mostly at him. I drowned the rest of the whiskey, and turned for the bar, slamming into a wall.
“Are you okay?” a deep voice asked.
I looked up to see that the wall was in fact a very handsome blond with pale blue eyes, and a dimpled smile. The guy was built like a linebacker. “I’m fine, thank you.” My eyes scanned him from head to toe, enjoying every last bit of him.
“I guess you’re all right if your priority is to check me out.” He smirked, accentuating his dimples and making him even more attractive.
I held my head up high and looked him in the eye. “I like what I see. Can you blame me?”
“I suppose not.” He held his hand out, and smiled wider. “Name’s Jason.”
Jason and I had a few drinks and became quite acquainted while we danced. As much as I was enjoying his company, in his arms wasn’t where I’d wanted to be. No matter how hard I tried to ignore him, my attention kept drifting over to Mac. Only this time when I looked over, I was shocked to see him staring back. His gaze was heavy on me, while his hands were all over her. He continued to watch me on and off, and I was helpless to look away.
Blake and Axel came around a bit later to tell me everyone else was heading out. Mac appeared at her side with his little gingernut, and she repeated what she’d just told me. They hugged and quickly pecked on the lips before separating.
“I think we’re going to head out too,” he said, eyeing his date.
I more or less declared the same thing, grabbing Jason’s hand. Mac’s eyes dropped to my hand in Jason’s, and he scowled before sniffing and schooling his expression. He wasn’t acting like himself, but I supposed it was likely the alcohol.
Blake’s gaze shifted between me and Mac. “Perfect timing! You guys can split a cab.”
I wanted to scream “no,” though Jason’s deep voice, and the floozie’s high one, cut me off. They apparently thought it was a brilliant idea.
What a fuckin’ holy show. I found myself in a taxi on the way back to the flat, with not only Jason, but Mac and his floozie. Jason was the tallest and sat in the front while I leaned against the passenger-side window, trying to make myself as small as possible in hopes I’d disappear. I should have known that lady luck wouldn’t have sided with me. Mac sat next to me, though he was too preoccupied to notice I was there, let alone that I was fuming.
The hellish ride ended, and I bolted from the car, forgetting all about Jason. He called out for me, halting my retreat. When I turned around to go back, I bumped into Mac and reflexively gasped when his brown eyes found mine and he smiled.
“Slow down, kid.” He reached for me but stopped with his hand in midair. He glanced over at my date and shoved his hand into his pocket. “You should go get your guy.” His tone was cold, and so unlike him. Mac wrapped his arm around his date’s shoulders, stepped around me, and headed inside.
What the hell was that? I couldn’t worry about him right now. With all the energy I could muster, I turned a seductive smile toward Jason and welcomed him to join me inside.
No polite small talk occurred once we all got inside the flat. Mac had taken hold of his date’s hand and swept her off into his room, slamming the door behind them. When we were alone, Jason stepped in close and laid his claim on me with a scorching kiss that would have made my toes curl, if not for the fact that I wished he was someone else.
I led him down the hall to my room, though I knew I should have just sent him home and gone to bed. We started slow with kissing and his exploratory hands on me. He asked me what I liked, and I was about to reply when a high-pitched moan crept into my room. My head snapped toward the shared wall with Mac’s room, and I cursed the eejit who built the place and skimped on soundproofing. She moaned again, longer this time, fraying my will to be a responsible, logical adult.
Jason was oblivious to my inner turmoil and stood waiting for my answer to his question. “I want you to throw me against that wall then fuck me until I can’t stand.”
“And here I was, trying to be a gentleman,” he quipped.
I unbuttoned my jeans, and pushed them down, trying not to flinch with every new sound coming from Mac’s room. “I don’t want a gentleman tonight.”
He scooped me up, backed me into the shared wall—not as hard as I’d hoped. Not like when Mac threw me around. Jason bit my neck, causing me to throw my head back against the wall and groan. There was a pause from the other room before the sounds started back up, louder than before. I bit Jason’s collarbone harder than I should have. He gritted his teeth and hissed instead of crying out as I’d hoped. It was petty and childish, but I wanted to one-up Mac for every sound I heard.
Jason pulled me from the wall, and carried me over to my bed, dropping me down. He whipped his shirt off then stroked his fingers over the fresh bite marks I’d left on him. “I’m trying to go easy on you, man. I don’t want to hurt you.”
He was too nice. I felt like an arsehole for using him, but I couldn’t stop now. “It’s fine. I’m not going to break.” At least not physically.
In all the chaos of last night I’d left my curtains open. The sick, empty feeling in my stomach woke me from a restless sleep, while the blinding sun ensured that I’d actually have to get my sorry arse out of bed. It was early—earlier than Mac usually got up on the weekend—and I didn’t hear any sounds from Mac’s room or the kitchen. Satisfied that I could move about without having to face him, I got up, threw on a shirt and some sleep pants, and went to the kitchen.
Mac was nowhere to be found, thankfully. I drank a glass of water, and was in the middle of refilling it when the front door opened. I spun around and leaned back to see around the corner, stunned when Mac stepped into view. He had his gym bag with him and was breathing hard.
I turned away from him before I wished him good morning, distracting myself by running the tap. I heard his bag hit the floor followed by footsteps until I could feel the heat radiating off of him from directly behind me.
“What the hell was up with last night?” he asked me in a clipped tone.
I cocked my head to the side, turning around with a scowl. “Excuse me?”
“All that banging against the wall and porn star moaning. You put on quite the performance.”
“As if you have any room to judge me. You’re the one who started it.”
He snorted, though it wasn’t in amusement. “So I wasn’t mistaken in feeling like last night was a contest. Had I known you wanted to play games, I’d have turned out all by best tricks.”
“Fuck you,” I ground out.
“Sure you’re not too tired to after last night?” He flinched after the words left his mouth. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. I just don’t get what’s going on.”
I crossed my arms and shrugged. “You had a pretty good grasp of the situation last night with what’s-her-name.”
“Oh, so you can fuck other people, but I can’t?”
“That isn’t what I’m sayin’—”
“Why is that suddenly a problem?” he pressed on.
It struck me then that I hadn’t had an issue with the other times I’d known Mac had slept with other people. He’d come home smelling like sex or with hickies, and I never had a problem with it. But seeing him with that woman, and then having him bring her home—
Ah, that’s it. I hadn’t had to see it before. Mac had never brought women home in the time I’d lived with him, even before we started fucking. Why had he done so last night? Why did I even care? Even if I didn’t know why I was jealous, the fact that I was remained. How did I expect to explain that to him, when I couldn’t make sense of it to myself?
I sighed, releasing most of the fight in me. “It’s not a problem.”
&
nbsp; He scoffed. “Clearly it is.”
“This is exactly why I was hesitant to do this with you. Why are we even fuckin’ havin’ this fight?! This was a mistake.” I pushed past him toward the hall, but he grabbed my wrist, stopping me. I turned toward him with my fist clenched, ready to puck him in the jaw. I deflated and unclenched my fist when I saw his face. With a heavy sigh, he cast his eyes down and looked like a dejected puppy.
“Just wait a minute.” He let go of me then ran his hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean to come at you this morning. Well, that’s not true. I wanted to, but I knew I didn’t have any right to. I was going to pretend last night didn’t happen, and move on… then I saw you when I got in, and I couldn’t stop myself from coming over and being a dick.”
Uh, what the fuck? “Sorry, what’re ya sayin’?”
Mac’s jaw clenched then he nodded to himself, like he’d been debating whether to tell me or not. “I got insanely jealous last night when I saw you dancing with that guy.” My eyes widened in shock. Those were not the words I’d been expecting. “I know it’s hypocritical and stupid.” He shrugged. “It doesn’t change how I felt. Seeing him with his hands all over you pissed me off. I brought that girl here last night to rile you up after you’d said you were bringing your guy back. I’m sorry. I really didn’t know I was such a possessive asshole.”
I huffed, my shoulders slumping forward. Mac deserved honesty from me. “I felt the same. I only picked up that guy after I saw you dancing. Part of me wanted a distraction, but there’s a big part of me that hoped you’d be jealous. My foolishness only made things worse by the sound of it.”
He snorted a laugh. “Is that so? Shit. We’re doing great at this uncomplicated, fuck-buddies thing.”
An unexpected laugh bubbled up, easing some of the tension between us. “Shut your gob. How do we fix this? Add in a new rule about not bringing people back here? And maybe no fucking around at mutual friends’ parties,” I added dryly.
“No. That’s too much work. You’re hotter than she was, anyway.” My eyes went wide again. Mac had just said I was hot. Wow. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You said I was hot.”
“Um, yeah. Of course you are. It’s not like I haven’t said it a thousand times already—don’t derail the conversation.”
“You haven’t said it before.”
It was his turn to be taken aback. “Really? Jeez, I am an asshole,” he muttered. “Look, I think you’re a smoke-show. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. Frankly speaking, I’d rather keep this thing going with you than sleep with other people. We get along and have great sexual chemistry. If it’s cool with you, I’m fine with altering the arrangement.”
“Altering it how?”
“Casual, yet exclusive. No fucking other people. No more drama.”
“Exclusive friends with benefits. Deadly idea—that’ll work for me. Are you sure it’s what you want?”
Mac nodded immediately. “Absolutely. Like I said, it works with you. We’ve both got a possessive streak, and this takes care of that without messing things up. I’d have proposed it sooner had I known something like last night could happen.”
I winced and nodded. “Sorry about that.”
“It’s fine.” He waved his hand between us while he spoke. “That’s over and done.”
“That guy was a fine thing, but he wasn’t as good as you, anyway,” I teased.
Mac’s mood shifted. His brown eyes conveyed mischief and fire, and his lips curved into a grin. “That ‘fine thing’ was huge and worked you over pretty good by the sound of it. I’ll give you today off before I remind you just how much better I am. That, and I need to buy more condoms today.”
“What if we stopped using them?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.
Mac raised an eyebrow at me. “Explain.”
“If we’re not going to fuck other people, we can consider getting tested and ditching condoms altogether. We don’t have to, it just came out.”
He hummed, considering it for only a few seconds before turning a wide smile on me. “I like it. I can only imagine how much better it’s going to feel to—what’s the term? ‘Breed that bussy.’”
Hearing those words out loud was worse than cringey. I found myself cursing Mac in my granny’s native tongue before I could think twice about it. “Imeacht go fánach ort féin is ar do chnapán miúlach! Do not ever say that again.”
“I don’t know what you just said, but I’m going to assume it was bad. Yeah, I feel like I need a shower now after saying that.” He shook his shoulders and shivered.
“You’re far too vanilla to stick that kind of dirty talk,” I muttered.
“Excuse me? I am not vanilla. That’s essentially calling me a basic-bitch at sex.” He actually sounded affronted. It was fuckin’ grand. He pulled me into his arms, telling me all the filthy things he’d do to me, and I couldn’t help but find the whole situation gas. My laughter only made his protestations worse, which made me laugh harder. He ended up kissing me and giving me a blowjob to shut me up. It worked.
Eleven
Mac
Days later, and Dove’s blow still stung. Me—vanilla? The nerve of that kid. I was in serious need of reassurance—and cookies—so there was no better place for me than Grams’s apartment. She’d actually agreed with Dubhlainn, though I found sympathy and support from Mrs. Baker and the other sweet ladies at the complex. I’d spent the day playing games, eating freshly baked goods, and fixing up anything that required “the touch of a strapping young man,” or so I’d been told. I knew that there was a fully capable handyman on staff, just as those sweet ladies knew that I’d enjoy spending time with, and being useful to, them.
Miho hadn’t been so kind at our family’s Fourth of July barbecue. Before dinner, I’d pulled her aside and quietly asked her if she thought I was vanilla. Her response was to burst into laughter and take off to go tell Mom what I’d asked. The two of them cried from laughing so hard at my expense. Dad and Grams were having a hushed conversation in the living room, so at least they weren’t there to join in on the ribbing at my expense.
I’d managed to convince Grams to come over for the day, which was a great feat considering she wasn’t fond of traveling much these days. We always went to her for holidays and visits, but I really wanted her at the house this year, at least once. Christmas or Thanksgiving would have been preferred because they felt more like family holidays, but the weather would have made traveling harder on Grams, and I wanted her trip to go as smoothly as possible.
We ended up having a marvelous time, with only minor teasing between me and Miho. I brought a ton of leftovers home to share with Dove and was delighted to see he’d brought back two containers full of food from his visit with his sister and her husband. Dove was in the shower, so I took the containers out and had a little peek. One was some kind of beefy, brothy, potatoy, carroty thing. The visual wasn’t so great, but it smelled good. The other dish was a feast for the eyes and nose. I think it was lamb over rice with some type of yogurt-based sauce. I scanned the counter and released a throaty groan when I spotted a bag of what appeared to be fresh, homemade pita bread. Surely, Dove wouldn’t notice if I had one little taste.
In hindsight, I probably should have left the food alone. Dove came down the hall just in time to catch me stuffing my face with the last chunk of the single pita I’d taken out of the bag. He cursed me black and blue, though his tone held no vitriol. I could see his lips trembling, trying to hold back a smile. Seeking his forgiveness, I dropped down to my knees before him and asked what I could do to make amends. The flush that spread over his pale skin was almost as lovely as the shade of his beautiful hair.
I’d been enjoying making him blush every day in the nearly two weeks since Eli’s birthday. As discussed, we’d gone and gotten tested for every STD under the sun and were awaiting the results. Neither of us wanted to spend money on condoms after Dove’s supply ran out, s
o we’d taken to getting each other off by more creative—but no less enjoyable—means. I felt like I was sixteen again and just discovering how fucking amazing sex was.
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been distracted. Fooling around with Dove had been perfection, but in the back of my mind, I hadn’t forgotten about Dove’s vanilla comment. I had every intention of proving him wrong. I’d make him swallow those words—I was just biding my time until I figured out how.
One scorching July afternoon, I’d finally figured out how I’d prove it. It was ungodly hot, and our baseball game had just ended in a damn tie. Postgame drinks were going to be a shit show, though I had other ideas. Any time I had a problem, if I didn’t ask my family—which I was not doing this time—I’d ask my friends. Bryan was immediately ruled out. If I was vanilla, he was basic vanilla to my French vanilla. I loved the dude, but asking him for kinky advice would have been pointless. Axel was too young and inexperienced. Santiago might have been into some wild shit, though we weren’t quite at that stage where I wouldn’t feel weird asking him. Blake would have made fun of me to no end, which I wasn’t remotely in the mood for. Which left Maxim—why I hadn’t thought of him first was beyond me. I chalked it up to a blond moment.
Maxim was very private in all aspects of his life, but I’d been around him longer than the other guys. I knew him back when he had a serious boyfriend, and I was unlucky enough to stumble upon them in the middle of some wild fuckery involving a spreader bar and rope—or so I’d been told. I’d promised Maxim not to speak of what I saw, and he promptly took back the emergency key he’d given me to his place. Apparently, running out of milk hadn’t been an appropriate emergency to use the key.
I strolled over to Maxim while he was packing up his gear and casually leaned against a fence post, pretending to take in the sights of the park and its patrons. Maxim finished packing his bag before he spared me a questioning glance, which I returned with a cheeky grin.
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