“Is he finally done out there?” his mom asked, washing a dish with a scrubber as I entered the kitchen.
I shook my head, taking in a deep breath before I said anything. I was swinging between anger and shock at how the night had turned out.
His mom dried her hands off on a towel and walked over, resting her hands on my shoulders. She was a few inches taller than me, and I had to tilt my head up a bit to look into her eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Serena.” Without warning, she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me in for a hug. “He gets into this mode, and we just have to let him ride it out.” She pulled back, keeping one arm over my shoulders, and ushered me into the living room.
My lip trembled, and I sniffed back the beginning of tears. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t cry over a boy after what happened with James, but there was so much more emotion when it came to this relationship that my throat burned from trying to hold it all back.
“What triggers it?” I managed without sounding too desperate.
We sat on the couch, and she turned toward me, her eyes sympathetic. “Ben tries really hard to be the perfect son. He’s always been that way, always wanted to excel. But it’s been getting worse lately. I know how much he loves baseball, but there are times when I wish he would find another sport.”
I was surprised to hear that from his mother, especially since she came to every game of his. “Why? What is it about baseball that makes him like this?” I really liked the Ben from therapy, or the Ben from the dock on our first date. But Ben the Pitcher was beginning to wear on me.
“I love my husband, but he isn’t the biggest fan of sports in general, least of all baseball. I think he had some bad experiences when he was younger, didn’t get picked for one of the all-star teams or something, and now he thinks it’s a waste of time.”
I raised an eyebrow, surprised Ben’s dad could think that about a sport. There were so many more things to it than just a couple of hours during the game. It was the hours of practice, the ability to develop teamworking skills, as well as the responsibility of showing up and giving it everything. But Ben’s ‘everything’ seemed to be more over-the-top than even I could have imagined.
“So what’s got Mr. Baseball bound and determined to hit that certain hole outside?” I jutted my thumb over my shoulder in the direction of the back door.
“Ben got an invitation this afternoon to an elite training camp next week. I guess they had a player drop out, and Coach Maddox reached out to him, asking if he wanted to take part in it. Ben asked my husband if he could go, saying he’d pay the fee with the money he’d earned at the clinic.” She swallowed and the pucker of her lips looked as though she’d eaten something sour. “After their disagreement last night, it didn’t go well.”
“Does Mr. Gates not want him to play in college or something? I would think an elite camp would be an amazing opportunity.” I’d be over the moon if I’d been invited to one of the elite camps for volleyball, and even if my mom said no, my dad would probably win her over.
“Dave just wants him to figure out a career and go for it. He’s not too keen on physical therapy being the best as it’s long hours and not that great of pay.”
“What do you think?” The woman kept talking about her husband’s opinion, but I was curious about what she wanted for her son. She was a woman who’d built a catering business and made it work for her and her family. There was no way she didn’t feel somewhat strongly about all this.
“I love watching Ben play. He has such a natural talent and reminds me of watching my brothers growing up. But he gets so in his head, to the point that I can’t get through to him when he’s like this.” She reached over and took my hands in hers. “I just hope you won’t let this affect your relationship. He lights up when he talks about you.”
My mind reflected on all the other times I’d seen Ben, or when I walked into a room and his big smile flashed, and I knew she was right. But the Ben outside right now was like some other person.
“I think I’ll just head home. Have him call me when he’s back to normal.” I stood, glancing around the room. Taking a step closer to her, I said, “Tell Daniel he can have the package of gummy bears.”
She laughed. “I will. You’ll probably cement yourself as his favorite person after that.”
I walked out of the house and over to my car. As I opened the door, I heard the familiar sound of Ben’s foot on the moveable mound around back.
It would be all right. We all had bad days, and I couldn’t expect him to be happy all the time.
But as I drove back home, I felt just as empty as I usually did with my parents. All I could hope was that this was some fluke, because I’d never felt second-best when it came to Ben before. Maybe a bubble bath and some reality TV would help put things into perspective for me tonight.
Twenty-Four
Ben
It took another three buckets of balls for my brain to be okay with the results. My arm was tired, and I could feel soreness already in the side of my neck. I picked up the balls and put the bucket back in the small shed. I considered taking down the nets, but the thought of my dad and our conversation about the elite camp made me want to tick him off. He wasn’t a fan of anything out of place in the backyard, sometimes cleaning up even while we were playing.
Right now, I had to figure out a way to get into that camp. I had saved enough money for it, although it would make driving anywhere long distance or outside of my usual routes impossible. But to be working out in front of some of the state’s top baseball coaches, the chance to up my scholarship opportunities was priceless.
I wiped the sweat on the sides of my head on my sleeves, kicking off my shoes in the small space my mom had designated as a mudroom a few months before. Water was next on the radar, and I walked to the cupboard to pull out a glass. I stuck it under the dispenser on the front of the fridge, filling it until there was only a half-inch of space left in the cup. It took about four gulps to drain it, the cool water helping decrease the body heat from being outside in the Texas night air for longer than I should have.
My mom walked into the room, leaning her hip against the counter and her arms folded tightly. From her pursed lips, I could tell she was not happy about something.
“Are you back to normal? Or do I need to hit you on the head?”
“What do you mean? I’m always normal.” I set the glass into the sink and paused, knowing I needed a shower more than anything.
She shook her head. “Your girlfriend came over to see you, and you acted like she wasn’t even here. I’m all for you going to this camp, but not at the expense of Serena. I suggest you find a way to make it up to her and fast.”
“Did she leave?” I panicked, just now realizing how late it was.
“Yeah. She said to have you call her when you’re back to normal.” My mom’s eyebrow rose as if challenging any wrong response I was going to share.
My stomach twisted as I felt the anger surge. I just wasn’t doing anything right anymore. “She’d probably be better off dating someone else anyway.” I bit my tongue, surprised at the words. But as I thought about them, they felt truer than I wanted to admit.
“Why would you say that?” My mom’s face showed just how disappointed she was in me, her narrowed eyes trained on my face. I knew I was going to be there a while when I saw that expression.
Pulling out a chair, I slumped into it, not wanting to go into any of this, least of all with my mom. But she would bug me over and over about it until I told her anyway.
“She’s dated a few other guys from school, but they never lasted very long, and they’re all the typical popular guys. I’m not one of those, Mom.”
My mom placed her hand on the table a few inches from me, towering. “Relationships go two ways, Benjamin David Clark. From what you’ve said, she initiated the boyfriend/girlfriend titles, and I’m willing to bet she kissed you first, so I would say she’s invested in the two of you. Were those guys eve
n remotely like you in personality?” She paused, and I knew she wanted an answer.
“No.” It was true. The kind of guys she usually went for weren’t like me at all. Most of them were players or just all-around jerks.
“Then I suggest you make it right.”
“I will, Mom. I’ll talk to her right now.” I moved my fingers to trace the pattern on the tablecloth. “Will you talk to Dad? Please, I promise I won’t be as intense about practicing the rest of the week if I can go.” I was full-on begging at this point, and I added in the praying-hands pose in the hopes that it would sway her.
She nodded. “I’m not promising anything, but I’ll have a talk with him when he gets home from the gym.”
I blew out a breath. If there was anyone who could convince my dad of anything, it was her. Having her on my side was one thing I could count on for the most part because she always looked out for me, warning me of things that could go wrong.
Like with Serena. I’d been in the zone, wanting the pitches to hit the right spot, and I hadn’t taken the time to actually talk to her. I was just screwing things up right and left when it came to her, and we’d only been officially a couple for less than a day.
I headed up the stairs, trying to think of what I could say to her. My finger hovered over her name on my phone, trying to decide if I was going to call or text. As much as I wanted to send a message, I knew it would probably be better to call.
The ringtone sounded loud in my ear several times before I heard the line connect.
“Hello.” She said the word softly, and the guilt increased.
“Serena, I just wanted to say I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have been like that. It’s just that I really want to go to this camp—”
“You don’t have to explain,” she said, her words still softer than I’d ever heard her. “Your mom told me about the conversation with your dad.”
Blowing out a breath, I tried to find something that would help convince her that I was sorry. “Please forgive me, Serena. I know I made a mistake tonight. I was just so angry that he wouldn’t let me go that I couldn’t focus on anything until I, well, until I could prove to him that I deserve to go.”
The line was silent for several seconds, and I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, pounding loudly as I waited for her response.
“It’s all right, Ben. I get being irritated with parents. If you can go, how long is the camp?” Her voice cracked and I could tell how much she was trying to be upbeat about the whole thing.
“Serena, are you okay? I’m a jerk, and I’m so sorry.”
I heard her intake of breath, and then she said, “I’ll be fine. I was just excited to hang out with you, and if you’re going to be gone, I won’t get to see you for a while.”
“The camp starts on Monday, and I think we come home early Friday afternoon. Aren’t tryouts soon for volleyball?” I leaned back on my bed, resting my free hand underneath my head.
“Yeah, Monday.”
“What did you do today?” Her short answers were making it difficult to carry on the conversation.
“Hung out with the girls. Applied for some jobs.”
I paused a moment. “That’s awesome. What kind of job?”
“Nursing assistants, the kind where you don’t need to be trained yet.” There was little emotion in her voice. I was going to need something to make up for my tunnel vision.
“That would be awesome. It would give you some experience before you start the CNA program, right?”
“Yeah, I don’t know. We’ll see if I even get any of them. I’m going to head to bed. We’re going running again, and I don’t want to be dragging.”
I was so used to her initiating a time to hang out, and I wished she would do it again. But when a few seconds passed and she said nothing, I said, “Do you want to retry movie night tomorrow? Maybe I can come to your place this time?”
“Um, yeah, we can do that. I’ll text you tomorrow. Good night.”
The phone clicked, and I stared at the ceiling. I hadn’t achieved complete forgiveness, but I hoped that by moving our date to tomorrow, we might go back to how we’d been over the past few weeks.
Twenty-Five
Serena
The house was clean, and I’d made some popcorn as I waited for Ben to show up. Glancing at my watch, it was already ten after seven. He was late, and it wasn’t doing much to help keep the anger from simmering in my stomach. If he stood me up after yesterday, then his words of apology meant nothing, and I was done.
I checked my phone, hoping I just hadn’t heard a text saying he’d be late. Nothing.
Grabbing a blanket, I pulled it up to my chin, relishing the warmth against the air conditioner. I thought about how Ben had been acting weird lately, trying to pinpoint when it started. He’d been so chill and fun up until our first date on the docks, and then it seemed like he’d almost walled himself off. Was he really that much of a perfectionist that he didn’t think our relationship would ever work out because of a mistake?
I mulled that over until the bell rang a few minutes later, and I stood to answer it.
“Hey, you made it,” I said.
“Sorry, I had to finish up some last-minute stuff and then jump in the shower.” Ben leaned over and hugged me as he stepped into the house. His hair was wet, and he smelled like body wash. He shifted nervously, sticking one hand in his back pocket.
I waved him into the family room. “You’re good. My parents are at some charity gala for my dad’s team, so it’s just us tonight.” I sat back in my seat on the couch and pulled the blanket up again.
Ben hesitated and finally sank down, sitting a few inches away from me.
“What should we watch?” I asked, turning on the TV.
He shrugged. “I’m good with whatever.”
“You don’t have to be so agreeable all the time, Ben. What do you want to watch?” I nudged, staring at his profile.
He turned to me, his eyes almost pleading for something. “I like action, adventure, sports movies, but I’m good with what you want to watch.”
I nodded, opening up one of the streaming services on the screen and flicking through. “Do you see anything?”
He shook his head, but it didn’t seem like he was really looking at anything. Why was he acting so weird? A flicker of sympathy ran through me, and I wondered if something else had happened between him and his dad.
“Hey,” I said, scooting closer and touching his arm. “What’s wrong?”
“My dad said I could go to the elite camp.” He opened his mouth like he was going to say something else and then clamped it shut.
“But?” Having met David Clark a couple of times, I knew there was probably a condition attached.
Ben blew out a breath. “I have to quit the clinic and work at his office as long as he does every day.”
I leaned back against the couch. “Seriously? You love your job. How are you going to have time to practice?”
“I’ll do what I can. He said I need to take time off from things, to refocus.”
“So making you work double shifts is the way to do that? That’s not right, Ben. You’re still in high school. Doesn’t he remember what that was like?”
Silence surrounded us as I watched the emotions play across his face. “I just don’t know if I can go against him on this. I really want to go to the camp, but working all the time seems like a steep price to pay for a week away.”
I waved my hands for emphasis as I said, “Yes! Why is he so worried about you anyway? You’re a really good kid who’s probably only been in trouble once in his whole life.” Not that I’d done anything terrible either, thanks to friends like Penny and Brynn.
Ben turned to look at me, his eyes searching my face for something before he decided to speak. “I think he’s worried I’ll be let down by baseball like he was as a teenager.”
“What are you going to do, then?”
“I mean, this camp always has some of the top college recruiters
and if I can learn a few tips for pitching, or even strategy, it will be worth the cost moneywise. But once I get back from camp, I’ll have to work for him until graduation. If I don’t go, I’ll always wonder what chances for a scholarship I could’ve had, no matter what ones I get offered.”
I smiled. “I think you should go. But I don’t think it’s right to punish you for something you love.”
As Ben gave me a smile, I leaned against his shoulder, enjoying the silence between us. “Maybe he’ll let you off for my birthday, though.”
“When’s your birthday?” Ben asked, his words vibrating through my head as he turned so his chin was against the top of my head.
“The Friday at the end of your camp. So come celebrate with me. We can go do something fun, celebrate whatever you achieved during camp. Maybe I’ll have a job by then.”
“You can probably apply to take my spot at the clinic. John always asks how you are now that you’re done with therapy.”
With a laugh, I said, “I’d be lucky to get that job. I might apply, though, if I don’t hear back from anywhere else.”
Something else was bothering Ben, and as much as I wanted to force it out of him, I didn’t want to scare him into not wanting to talk to me about anything again.
In a softer voice, I asked, “Anything else you want to ask me or talk about?”
He took in a deep breath. “How many people have you kissed? Besides me, I mean.”
His question caught me off guard, and I shifted back in my seat. I tried to read his expression, but it changed from serious to nervous and then back again.
“Not including you, three.”
“Really?” A mixture of relief and surprise flashed across his face.
“Yes, really,” I said, my cheeks heating in record time. I wrapped my arms around my waist, staring at the coffee table in front of us. “A lot of the rumors around school aren’t true, but it’s easier to let them go unanswered than to have people wanting things from me because I’m Steve Gates’s daughter.” I paused again, trying to decide how much to tell him. But since he’d asked me directly, I wanted him to know. I didn’t need secrets between us.
The Perfect Game: A Young Adult Romance (Rosemont High Baseball Book 2) Page 13
