by Myers, Kelly
I can’t help the smile that pulls up the corners of my lips. “He wasn’t right for you.”
“And you are?”
“I never claimed that.”
“Then what are you proposing?”
“Want to hear about my latest victory?”
“That will be common knowledge soon.” She pauses. “I’d rather you tell me about your defeat.”
34
Dina
It has been a few days since I had to rally my best defenses against something as basic as hearing Gabriel’s voice on the phone. The attempt not to admit that I, too, want and miss him renders me mentally and emotionally drained by the end of our call. Having exhausted all of my options, I decide to end it with the excuse that I need to go to sleep, leaving it without conclusion or agreement.
Disenchanted, he lets me go.
This morning, the news officially comes out, publicly announcing the passing of a bill that allows the first bidder to offer the government a fully-fledged solution that practically dissolves all measures of online privacy, rendering millions of pieces of personal data available to the highest-bidding company and accordingly, the administration.
People go wild in reaction to the news. I’m sitting in my office, contemplating amendments to my letter of resignation when Derek barges in, his face inflamed.
“No doubt you’ve heard,” he grinds his jaw and glares at me with nothing but utter disappointment that tears through my insides.
“Yes,” I keep a straight face. “Have they announced the private partner yet?”
“Do you really need their announcement to learn who it is?” His widened eyes are filled with rage, and I can’t blame him.
“I’m leaving,” I monotonously announce.
He furrows his eyebrows. “Are you kidding me?”
“I’m leaving the gazette, Derek,” I clarify.
He slowly nods as he takes a seat across from me. “Did Armin ask you to do that?” I can see how hard he’s trying to act cool. Calm. I know that he secretly wants to strangle me.
I sluggishly blink, humoring my lazy, sleep-deprived eyelids. “No, it’s all me.”
“What next?”
“I don’t know,” I casually shrug. “Maybe New York. Maybe someplace new.”
“Have you told him yet?”
I tap with my fingertips over the desk. “Preparing it as we speak.”
We hear the noise outside get louder as more and more of our colleagues get the details of the news from those at the venue. Television reporters’ voices echo through the floor as every TV set broadcasts a different channel.
“What a mess,” he shakes his head.
I hit ‘send’ and shut my laptop, standing up. “Staying a while?”
“Are you sure now’s the best time to talk to him about this?”
“It’s as good as any,” I genuinely don’t care anymore.
As I walk toward my boss’s office, I feel my colleagues’ gazes on me, burning like acid as they land on every part of my body. Without a doubt, they see me as a traitor. My reputation has been destroyed.
“Hey, what am I looking at?” Armin instantly asks as I open the door and step inside.
“It is what it looks like,” I smooth my skirt with my hands and sit down. “I’m sorry, it should’ve come earlier.”
He slowly shakes his head. “What’s going on with you, kid?”
“I fucked up,” I clear my throat, struggling to maintain eye contact. “I can’t keep fooling myself forever.”
“Everybody fucks up,” he tosses his reading glasses on the desk, exasperated. “If that’s the way we handle things, I’d have a deserted building by the end of the year.”
“I’m not going to tell you how to run your paper, Armin—
His look becomes one of discontent. “You’re just going to give up after a hiccup.”
“It’s a disaster!” I hiss, pushing forward my head. “None of this would’ve happened if it weren’t for me.”
“Oh, please,” he waves a hand. “don’t—”
We’re interrupted by the loud bang on the door as it’s flailed open and Derek charging in with a few others. “It’s starting, guys!” he loudly announces with an excited look on his face.
“People are taking to the streets,” our colleague Eric explains. “They’re arranging for nationwide protests that will begin within the hour.”
“Then what is everyone doing here?” Armin shoots out of his chair, picking up his glasses. “Out! Out, out! I want updates every fifteen minutes! Every single one of you grabs an angle. Go on, get outta here!” He then turns to me. “And you…”
I instinctively stand up, my heart suddenly bursting out of my chest.
“Assuming that I’ve accepted your…” he waves in disgust. “resignation… you still owe me a month. Get the fuck out and report on this first-hand.”
Confused, I sharply exhale and walk out of his office, heading toward mine. My phone starts to ring. It’s Zoe.
“Hey,” I quickly answer as I wedge the device between my cheek and shoulder, hastily collecting my things and tossing them into the bags.
“Have you heard?”
“Of course I’ve heard. Where are you?”
“Office. They’re giving us the rest of the day to join the protests.”
“And will you?” I hang my bags over my shoulder and walk out of the room, closing the door behind me.
“What do you think?” she says matter-of-factly. “They have to reverse this decision and overrule the bill. It’s outrageous!”
Now, as I’m faced with such a blatant opinion, I don’t even know where I stand. Gabriel made a lot of sense in his argument for the project that I am now terrified to admit that I just might agree with him. Instead, I buy myself some time. “Well, I have to go—”
“You’re not joining us?”
“Aren’t you, like, halfway across town?”
“Meet me at your place. It’s closest to Jonathan, Cece and—”
I’m overwhelmed. “Is everyone going?”
She puffs and snorts. “What’s with you today?”
“I—It’s just taking a minute to sink in,” I sigh. “Okay, tell them all to meet us there.”
“See yah!”
As I rush toward the elevators, I see groups of the Gazette employees piled up in front of each door. There’s no way I’ll have the patience for this, so I push open the service staircase door and rush down the spiral steps. My phone rings again, and it’s Julia. I see my car and march toward it, kicking off my heels as soon as I get to the door.
“Hey, Jules.”
“Where are you now?”
“Office, heading home. You?”
“Home? Aren’t you covering the protests?”
“I’m head of the business segment, I—”
“What about joining?”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I toss my bags onto the passenger’s seat and get behind the wheel. “I’m meeting Zoe and some of our friends at my house, and we’ll see what happens from there.”
“Zoe must be joining.”
“Yes, yes she is.”
“Well, Spencer and I are leaving Lily with his mother, and we’ll be out on the street in half an hour. Let me know where you’ll be. We can get together.”
“Sure. Take care, will you?”
“Don’t worry, hon. You too.”
We hang up as I drive out of the parking lot and into the street. My eyes roam around from behind my shades and spot a group of people walking out of the stationery store with large sheets of paper. At the opposite side by the café, a small gathering of youngsters sits cross-legged on the sidewalk, writing their signs with thick black pens.
“This is it, Gabriel,” I whisper as I turn the wheel and take a right. “Revel in your success because we don’t know how long it’ll last.”
My phone begins to ring again. I pick it up and put the output on speaker. “Hey, mom, I’m driving.”
“Honey, your dad i
s concerned, and I’m trying to tell him—”
“There’s nothing to be concerned about. They’re just protests.”
“Wasn’t your portal the one who—”
“Reported on Quentin Ford? Yes. It doesn’t really matter now, mom.”
“What’s going to happen?”
“Just because I did some research on this doesn’t mean that I know what their plans are.”
“Who are they?”
I can’t bring myself to say it. “The government, mom. It’s always them, right?”
“There are private entities involved!”
“Yes, as always. Everyone gets to outsource some tasks, and this isn’t a different case.”
“Are you safe?”
“I’m going home right now. You don’t need to worry.”
“Yes, yes. Go home, honey. This may not end well.”
“You guys need anything?”
“We’ve got everything we need. Just call us if something happens in Boston. We’ll be following the news here.”
“Okay then, kiss dad for me.”
Traffic gradually worsens by the time I pull up to my building. I get out of the car and grab my things, hearing distant chants from another street that my vantage point doesn’t cover.
“Is this your democracy?
We deserve our privacy!”
I keep my head low as I quickly lock my car and head to the gate, fishing out my keys as the songs ring louder. When I get into my apartment, I lock the door behind me and start making a quick checklist of all the things we might need on the road. Water bottles. Bandages. Face masks? I don’t own any, so I run to my bedroom and search for fabric bandanas instead.
“I hope you’re happy now,” I angrily hiss from between my teeth as I go through my wardrobe, trawling for an old pair of jeans and a tee.
Changing out of my work clothes, I wonder how long it will take for us to call it quits and go home. Since we’re likely to spend the entire day outside, I dip my hand back into the closet and fish out an old hooded sweater.
A loud puff forces itself out of my mouth as I shake my head, trying to choose a side.
In a rush, I make my way over to the kitchen and open the fridge, pulling out two small water bottles. I stuff them into my backpack before I head to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, looking for the bandages. My eyes quickly scan the many medication bottles, expired and lined up as a sad reminder of my pathetic past attempts. Pushing them aside, I quickly grab what I’m looking for and throw it into the bag before slamming the cabinet door shut.
I fleetingly face my own reflection in the mirror and look away.
Hypocrite.
The doorbell rings, so I hurry back out into the living room, unlocking the door as I open it. “Hey,” I quickly kiss Zoe on the cheek, and she steps in, followed by Cece, Jonathan and a man I’ve never met before.
“Dina, this is Victor,” she gives me a meaningful look and a subtle smile. “Victor, Dina… my oldest friend in the whole world.”
I mindlessly perform the pleasantries before Zoe returns to the spotlight. “So, we ready?”
“I’m just gonna use the bathroom real quick,” Cece disappears.
Jonathan and I watch Zoe and Victor mumble hushed words to each other by the window. We exchange an awkward smile.
“Y’know,” he shakes his head in dismay. “I hear Palanick really has something to do with this bill.”
He clearly doesn’t read the B-Gazette. I raise my eyebrows and nod in forged interest.
“Word on the street, they created a new software—so sophisticated that no other company has managed to crack it—which can harness all of our data from our devices. All of them collectively.” He widens his eyes. “Everything.”
“Well,” I titter, glancing at my phone to check the time. “I guess we need to start being super careful then.”
He clearly isn’t amused.
What the hell am I doing?
Cece reemerges, adjusting her top. “All ready to go?”
At this very moment, my phone buzzes in my hand with an alert that vaguely resembles the government’s Wireless Emergency Alerts, but not quite. It reads:
Yes. Go downstairs, but get into the black van instead.
My lips part in surprise. Gabriel. Who else enjoys playing these games? He has been texting and calling me from a hidden number, and now this.
“It was just a fun side project for my team.”
I recall his statement and wonder how many leisure activities his employees indulge in to produce such tech. Something inside of me rages.
He still wants me by his side.
But where do I want to be?
This is my ultimatum.
35
Gabriel
Gazing out through the all-glass façade of my high-rise office, I watch the streets as they roar and seethe underneath the Palanick tower. The protesters’ presence here is not intentional, but their aim—I gather—is to occupy the downtown area and expand outward in a clear metaphor of their growing influence.
With my hands in my pockets, I leave my earbuds in place as I listen to the heated dialogue taking place between Ford and one of his superiors. They have put me on the call for reasons beyond me, but now I’m beginning to enjoy their futile exchange regarding the developing crisis.
My eyes regard the epic scene below and move upward, watching the vague strip of what can either be smoke or dust as it separates the masses from the heights of the blue sky on the majestic horizon.
A smile draws itself up on my face as I ponder the fresh order of the world under its new norms. Human beings are such adaptable creatures.
I don’t know why this thought brings forth the image of Dina in my bedroom, tantalizing my fantasy. Distracting me. Turning me on.
“What do you think, Palanick?” Ford’s troubled voice rudely pulls me back to the moment.
“We did forecast resistance, so this should come as no surprise,” I said matter-of-factly. “Gentlemen, this will all settle, I promise you. As the inflamed emotions wane, the public will put matters into perspective, see things for what they truly are, and learn to adjust.”
Ford’s boss grunts. “Are you suggesting we do nothing?”
“The bare minimum should do,” I confirm. “If you go out of your way to accommodate their anger—although it will be briefly appreciated—it will bring about more questions and greater demands.”
“He’s making a good point there,” Ford advocates.
The door at the right-hand corner splits open. It’s the private emergency elevator that connects my part of the parking lot directly to my office.
“Gentlemen, this is an emergency. I’m afraid I must disconnect.” Tossing away the earbuds, I turn to face my visitor.
Dina steps forward, sporting a faded, worn-out pair of jeans, an old hoodie with rips at the cuffs and a stained backpack.
Her eyes look like they can shoot fire if they had the chance. But is it friendly fire?
“Why am I here?”
Smiling, I look out through the glass once more. “I needed to know you’re safe.”
She takes a step closer. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”
“I have no doubts about that.” I turn to her. “Is this why you were going to join them?”
She straightens her shoulders, sliding her hands into the sweater pockets. “I haven't decided yet.”
Brazenly, I scan her outfit from head to toe. “Either that or a costume party.”
A faint smile appears on her beautiful, lush lips as she eyes my rolled-up sleeves and tie-free collar. “And what are you dressed for?”
“Hey,” I scoff and shrug, “it was just another day at the office until an hour ago.”
“Are you happy?” she takes another step. “Gabriel?” She whispers my name like it comes from a different planet. An alternate universe.
“I don’t know. Are you?” I wrinkle my eyebrows and take a step toward her
. “Is anyone?”
She slowly shakes her head. “Some people are.”
“They’re satisfied,” I reply, reaching with both hands to grab her by the elbows. “There’s a difference.”
“So now you don’t believe in happiness.”
“I don’t remember claiming that I did.”
“Too bad.” She tilts her head, her eyelashes slowly batting in response. “I was hoping…” She stops and lowers her gaze.
“On the contrary.” I wrap my arms around her waist, staring into her eyes. “I’m over the moon right now because you’re here.”
She turns away as her neck stiffens, scoffing. “I don’t even know why I came.”
I smile, repeating the statement she once hated. “Because I said so?”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” she smirks, and I see her eyes sorrowfully go over the bustling violence outside.
Say it.
Just say it.
She’s an intelligent woman and can handle whatever you throw her way.
“If I don’t do this, then all hope is gone.”
She locks eyes with mine. “In believing that you can rule the world?” She then turns back to the ominous vista. “This world?”
I pull her closer. “Oh, that’s granted,” I whisper, my fingers catching a lock of her hair and twirling it around one finger. “In getting a little more personal,” I set the record straight with a suggestive whisper.
“Utterly reprehensible,” she says, her eyes searching mine.
I let my eyes linger on her lips for a moment, an obvious warning of what I’m about to do. She doesn’t budge, and her expression doesn’t falter. For a second, I feel as though I can sense an exuberant energy coursing through her body, carrying within them the calling of temptation that pulls me in.
Once again, she has me unarmed. “I—”
She presses her finger against my lips before I utter the words. “So do I,” she whispers, her unfathomably deep jade eyes sparkling as they fixate on mine. “But perhaps we shouldn’t say it out loud just yet.” She tilts her head and inches closer.
Her perfume invades my nostrils as I close my eyes and feel her mouth merge with mine. She softly bites on my lower lip and slightly pulls, prompting me to use my tongue to coax hers into this dangerous game we’re playing in the middle of my office.
