by Harley Wylde
“You can leave. Go back to the clubhouse.”
My jaw dropped. “Wh-what? What do you mean go to the clubhouse?”
“I don’t want a whore in my house.”
It felt like ice had been dumped over me, chilling me all the way through. I stumbled back and stared at him in horror. Why would he say such a thing to me? Did he blame me for whatever happened? Did he think it was my fault that Renegade had attacked him? “Ashes, please… what did I do wrong?”
His mouth twisted as he glared at my stomach again. “From the looks of things, you must do something pretty damn well to have gotten knocked up. Don’t try to pretend that brat is mine. Get the fuck out!”
I gasped and nearly fell in my haste to run from the house. Havoc, Cobra, and Ripper pulled up on their bikes as I tumbled from the house and landed on my knees in the grass. Ripper rushed over and helped me up. I didn’t see Jin and figured he must have left when he saw Ashes come back.
“Nikki, what’s wrong?”
“Ashes. He… he…” I pinched my lips together in an effort to hold back the tears. “He called me a whore and told me to get out of his house.”
Havoc cursed and went stomping inside. I could hear shouting, but not the actual words. There was a loud crash, then another. I stared, wide-eyed, and then ran back into the house. It didn’t matter that Ashes had gutted me with his words. He’d been injured, and I didn’t want Havoc to hurt him further.
The Sergeant-at-Arms had Ashes pinned to the floor, but the man who I’d thought to be so sweet and caring was snarling and cussing at Havoc, threatening to kill him and anyone else who fucked with him. I’d never seen so much anger coming from him before and it frightened me. What had Ashes been through today?
“Ashes.” I tried to kneel next to him, but Ripper held me back. Tears slipped down my cheeks as I pulled away and dropped down beside him. “Archer. Please stop fighting.”
He froze at the sound of his real name. I knew it was wrong to use it in front of his brothers, but I was desperate to reach him, reach the man I knew was in there somewhere. Maybe whatever had caused the head wound did more damage than break the skin. I only knew the man pinned to the floor wasn’t the same one who’d claimed me earlier. Whatever had happened, it had changed him.
“I don’t want you to get hurt. Please. Archer, you have to remember.”
I could feel the tension in the room. Ashes panted and glared at me, his hate-filled eyes making me tremble.
“Remember?” Havoc asked. “What the fuck is going on?”
I took a shaky breath and reached out to run my fingers over the scruff on his jaw. It was Ashes, and yet it wasn’t. The man in front of me looked like him, but wasn’t acting like the man I’d come to know. Something was wrong. Really damn wrong.
“You don’t know who I am, do you?”
“No,” he said, his tone biting. “Just some whore in my house.”
“Fucking hell,” Cobra muttered. “Hey, ass hat! That’s your woman you’re calling a whore.”
Ashes blinked a few times, studying me. “Mine?”
I nodded. “I’m yours. Try to remember. Do you remember this morning? Before Church was called?”
His brow furrowed and pain crossed his features. “All I remember is waking up in a warehouse. I was bleeding. I don’t even know how I came to this place. Just got on the bike outside and rode here. No one stopped me when I came through the gate. I… I kind of remember this place, remember being part of a club, but everything is hazy.”
“Do you remember who you are?” I asked, dread filling me.
“No.” He frowned. “I don’t think so. Saw the name Ashes on my cut. The Devil’s Boneyard MC sounded familiar. For that matter, I know what the hell a cut is, and most people don’t. Some things are there, but mostly everything else is gone.” His gaze held mine. “I remember the name Archer.”
“He needs a doctor,” I said, looking at Havoc. “Can you get off him, please?”
“Shit.” Ripper and Cobra both knelt next to me. “We’ll find out what the fuck happened to you and we’ll take care of it. Why don’t you let Nikki help you get cleaned up? We’ll have the doc here soon to check you out.”
Havoc slowly stood and backed up, his body tense as if prepared for Ashes to attack again. Ashes stood slowly, a hint of vulnerability in his eyes under the hostility. I took his hand and led him from the room, down the hall, and into the bedroom. Pushing the door shut, I wondered if he’d prefer that I leave. While he looked around, I went into the bathroom and started the shower. My heart was pounding. I didn’t know what would happen if Ashes never remembered me. What if he didn’t want me anymore?
I heard the shuffle of his steps as he came up behind me. I saw his hands hover over my sides before he gently settled them on my hips.
“I’m sorry I don’t remember you,” he said. “And I’m sorry I reacted the way I did before. Some part of me just knew this was my house, but…”
“You didn’t remember that I was living here, that we were together.”
“Right,” he said softly.
“I’ll get you some clean clothes while you shower. I can just leave them on the bed.”
I turned to face him and his gaze searched mine before dropping to my belly. He placed his hand there right about the time Oliver rolled and kicked. Ashes jolted then smiled.
“His name is Oliver,” I said.
“A boy?” Ashes looked at me again. “We’re having a boy?”
I hesitated only a moment, then nodded. The man was going through enough without me complicating things and explaining about Bane. With some luck, he’d wake up tomorrow and remember everything. I hoped this was only a minor setback and whatever had happened to him wouldn’t have lasting consequences.
“The water’s getting cold. You should wash off. Do you want jeans and a T-shirt laid out, or some sweats? I don’t know where you’re injured other than your head and knuckles.”
“Sweats might be better.”
Before I had a chance to leave, he removed his cut and pulled his shirt over his head. I couldn’t hold back my gasp. He was covered in heavy bruising across his chest and down one side of his ribs. Tears sprang to my eyes as I gently traced the wounds. Who had done this to him? If my brother had caused any of this, I was going to kill him.
“Archer.”
He placed his hand over mine, holding my palm against his chest. “I’m fine.”
No, he damn well wasn’t “fine,” but I knew better than to argue. I’d just be wasting my breath.
He toed off his boots and removed his socks, jeans, and underwear. There were a few cuts on his thighs and more bruises. When he turned to get into the shower, I whimpered. It looked as if he’d been beaten with a bat. Ashes got under the water and slicked his hair back, leaving the door open. He didn’t even glance my way, just held out his hand.
“What?” I asked.
“Get in with me,” he said.
“You… I… You don’t remember me, but you want me to shower with you?”
He glanced at me. “You’re my woman, right? My ol’ lady?”
I hesitated a moment, but what he said was true. I was his, even if it had only been for a day. Not even a full day.
“Yes.”
“Then get your ass in this shower, woman.”
I took my time undressing, noticing the way his gaze heated with every inch of skin I exposed. By the time I was naked, he was pulling me under the spray with him. His hands settled at my waist, or where I’d once had a waist. He stared at me, as if searching for even a wisp of a memory that included me.
“How could I forget you?” he asked.
“Let’s get you cleaned up so the doctor can look at you.” I reached up and brushed my fingers over the wound on his head.
“Everything will be fine, Nik.”
My eyes widened. “What did you call me?”
“Nik. That’s your name, right? Nikki?”
“Y-yeah, but you�
�re the only one who really ever calls me Nik.”
He leaned down and lightly brushed his lips against mine. “Maybe my memory is coming back already.”
He devoured my lips and I couldn’t resist him. Clinging to his shoulders, I held on as he claimed me all over again. I only hoped he remembered it, and me, this time. And I hoped like hell that he hadn’t injured himself further by taking me so roughly. I’d loved every second of it, but from the bruising on his body, I knew he had to be hurting.
Chapter Five
Ashes
Two months and I still had huge gaps in my memory. The rest of me had healed just fine. Thankfully, nothing had been broken, except my brain. Every now and then I thought I remembered Nikki. A flash of her at a party or with another man. Several of her with her brother. But not a damn one that reminded me how we’d ended up together. I could have asked, but I kept hoping it would all come back to me. There was a tug in my chest whenever she was near, and I found myself falling for her all over again. She was the sweetest woman, and I knew I was damn lucky to have her.
Her belly had gotten bigger and she looked like she might pop at any moment, even though both she and her doctor assured me it wasn’t time yet. I found myself pressing a hand to her baby bump every chance I got, loving the feel of little Oliver pushing back. Our son. I smiled, wondering if he’d look like his mom or like me.
Nikki had tried to put some distance between us, attempted to sleep in the guest room those first few nights, but I’d refused to let her. If she said she was mine, then I wanted her with me. I’d taken her against the shower wall not long after learning that she wasn’t some club whore like I’d accused when I’d first come home. Maybe it was wrong. All right, so it had definitely been wrong, but I’d hoped it would spark a memory. Being inside her had felt incredible, and really damn familiar. Any time I reached for her, she’d always come willingly. I’d been gentle, or tried to be.
Until this morning, when I’d accidentally hurt her.
Which was why we were now at her doctor’s office, and she sat on the padded table wearing one of those gowns. There’d been a bit of blood, and it had scared the shit out of me. I’d immediately helped her dress and brought her in, insisting they make room for her in the schedule.
I grasped her hand, needing the comfort of her touch as I worried about her and our baby. If I’d done anything to hurt Oliver, or Nikki, I’d never forgive myself. It was bad enough I couldn’t be around her brother without an argument starting. I didn’t even understand why he was so pissed at me. We were brothers, part of the same club, and family. I could only imagine how furious he’d be if he knew I hurt Nikki today.
The doctor came in, smiling broadly. “Good afternoon, Nikki. I see you’re a few days early for your appointment. The nurse said you’d bled a little today.”
Nikki nodded. “We, um…”
My woman blushed so hard her entire face turned red.
“We were having sex,” I said. “But she cried out in pain and I noticed she was bleeding. I made her come straight here.”
“We’re going to check on baby Oliver first, then I’ll need to check you and see if there’s still some bleeding or if you’re dilated.” The doctor patted Nik’s knee. “Just let me get the portable machine brought in.”
The woman turned to go and Nikki cried out. I stared, jaw dropping, at the water dripping off the table. Holy shit!
“Or we can deliver a baby,” the doctor said.
“What? No!” Nikki started breathing hard and I could see the wildness in her eyes. She was in a full-on panic. “It’s too soon!”
There was something in the doctor’s eyes that said she agreed, but by the way her jaw firmed, I knew whatever she said next would be to help keep Nikki calm. Maybe it was too early, but I didn’t know exactly what that meant.
“Your baby is developed enough that Oliver will be fine, Nikki. He’s only three weeks early. There may be some health risks down the road, but delivering at this stage is much safer than if he’d arrived two or three weeks ago.”
I’d been reading the baby books, and even though I still didn’t know much of anything about babies or the birthing process, I could tell the doctor was trying to ease Nik’s fears. She was right about the health issues, though. I also knew that keeping Nikki calm was necessary. If her blood pressure and heartrate spiked, it could stress the baby. I’d read that just the other day as I tried to prepare for the arrival of our son. I smoothed my hand over her hair and leaned down to press a kiss to her cheek.
“Easy, sweetheart. You’ve got this.”
“I’m going to call over to the hospital and get a room ready for you,” the doctor said. “Think you can walk to the hall and I’ll have a wheelchair brought around?”
Nikki nodded, her grip on my hand tightening.
“So, Dad, keep her calm and we’ll be saying hi to little Oliver soon enough.”
The next three hours passed so damn slowly I thought I’d lose my mind. I stayed with Nikki in the delivery room. Sweat soaked her hair as she screamed, cussed, and pushed for all her worth. The way she squeezed my hand, I thought she might break all my fingers, but I didn’t care. If I could ease her pain, I would. Little Oliver just didn’t want to cooperate. His head would start to come out, then the doctor said he’d just retreat back inside Nikki. They were close to getting forceps when he finally shot out of her into the doctor’s waiting hands.
I smiled down at Nikki, so damn proud of her. Until the murmurs of the staff in the room caught my attention. Along with the silence.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
The doctor gave me a sad look as the nurses rushed Oliver from the room. What the fuck was going on? I looked at Nikki and saw tears slipping down her cheeks. The doctor pressed on her stomach and said something about delivering the placenta, then they were cleaning her up. Nikki was moved to another bed and placed into a room in the maternity ward, but we still hadn’t seen Oliver.
“Where’s my son?” I asked the next nurse who stopped in.
She gave me a smile, but she had that same spooked look I’d seen right before Oliver had been taken away. Something was wrong, but I didn’t know what. And I knew Nik needed answers too.
“They’ll bring him to you soon.”
“What happened? Why wasn’t he crying? Don’t babies cry when they’re born?”
“The doctor will answer your questions soon enough. Please, try not to worry. Do you need anything?”
I shook my head and held Nikki’s hand. I could feel the tension rolling off her. My gut was churning over the fear of losing Oliver before we ever really had him. I’d spent the last two months talking to the kid, and now I might never get to meet him.
“Archer, what if… what if…”
I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. “Hush. He’ll be fine. We’ll get to hold him soon.”
She nodded, but I could tell she didn’t believe me. Hell, I didn’t believe me either.
Another hour went by and finally, a small clear bed was wheeled into the room. A blue bundle lay inside, and my heart swelled with so much love for the tiny boy inside. Nikki pushed herself higher up in bed and I released her hand to go to Oliver. My hands shook as I picked him up. He yawned and smacked his lips, then turned his head toward me.
“He’s hungry,” the nurse said. “Better give him to his mom.”
I nodded and carried him to Nikki. She dropped the front of her gown and reached for Oliver. Seeing her nurse our son was probably the most beautiful thing I’d ever witnessed. I reached out to stroke his cheek as he suckled.
“Baby Oliver was six pounds seven ounces,” said the nurse. “And he’s nineteen inches long.”
“He’s perfect,” Nikki said, her voice choked from unshed tears.
“Yeah, he is,” I agreed. “And he looks just like his mom.”
“I’ll leave the three of you to bond. There are diapers and wipes provided by the hospital, as well as some other goodies you g
et to take home with you. Just buzz the nurse’s station if you need anything. The doctor will be around shortly to check on you.”
Oliver greedily sucked at Nikki’s breast before she switched him to the other side with a grimace. He was in a gown the hospital had for every baby born here, and I didn’t like it. He had clothes at home, things we’d picked just for him. It bothered me that his bag was back at my house, along with Nikki’s. I pulled my phone from my pocket and shot off a text to Dixon.
Get the two bags just inside my front entry. Bring them to the hospital. Oliver is here!
I got a thumbs-up emoji as a response, but I had no doubt he’d tell everyone our son had been born. It wouldn’t be long before the club would stop by, hopefully not all at once. If Renegade made an appearance, and I knew it was likely, he’d better damn well behave and not start shit.
I sat on the edge of the bed watching my woman and kid, my heart feeling full. They were beautiful, and mine. When Oliver was done eating, and Nik had covered up again, I settled on the bed and pulled her against me, our son in her arms. I might not remember my life, or this woman, but I doubted I’d ever been happier than I was right now. I hoped that Oliver would be the first of several kids for us.
The doctor stopped by and explained Oliver hadn’t been breathing at first, but they’d managed to clear his airway, given him some oxygen, and he was now able to breathe on his own. It had been a scare for everyone, but not as serious as they’d first feared since he was born too soon. I knew I’d be watching him like a hawk, probably from now until the day I died.
The door opened a short while later and Dixon came in, a smile on his face as he saw little Oliver. He set the two bags down at the foot of the bed and came closer. Slowly, he reached for Oliver, stroking a finger down my son’s cheek.
“He’s cute,” Dixon said.
“How long before the others show up?” I asked.
“Scratch, Cinder, and their women are downstairs right now. I’m sure the others will be along soon enough.”
