by Harley Wylde
Nikki yawned and nuzzled closer to me, her eyes heavy.
“Sleep, baby. You need to rest,” I said.
She murmured something and fell almost immediately asleep. I smiled, admiring my beautiful family.
“You did good, man,” Dixon said. “Listen. Renegade is on his way here. I can’t promise he won’t be an ass, but he wants to come see his nephew.”
I held back a growl, but just barely. I didn’t know what the fuck his problem was, but the bastard hated me. “If he upsets Nikki, I’ll personally remove him from the room.”
Dixon nodded. “Look, the guy’s my friend, but when it comes to Nikki he can be a little… overprotective. And I think the fact that she was in such dire straits and he didn’t know…”
Wait. What the fuck did that mean?
“Dire straits?” I asked.
Dixon’s expression shut down.
“Dix, start talking. Now.”
“Shit,” he muttered. “Look, Nikki was living in an apartment across town. You found out she was being evicted and brought her home with you. Renegade lost his shit, and that’s why he’s such an ass to you. Because you got his little sister out of trouble, saved her, when it should have been him.”
I looked at Nikki and Oliver. Something was off. If Nikki was mine, and Oliver was mine, why hadn’t they been living with me. How long had she been in the apartment? No, the right questions was how long had she been living in my house? Had I not wanted her for some reason? I tried to remember, but it just made pain spike through my brain. The headaches were fewer now, but still hit hard when I tried to force the memories to come back.
“I know you have questions,” Dixon said. “But I think I’ve said more than enough.”
Or maybe he hadn’t said quite enough.
I didn’t get a chance to question him more before the room door opened again. This time the Pres and VP came in with their women.
“We aren’t staying long. Left the kids with Jordan and Havoc,” Scratch said. “Those two will have them trained as assassins within the hour. I kind of like that my kids are sweet. Too much time with that hellion of theirs and my sons might change from angels to the Antichrist.”
I coughed to cover a laugh, but I knew he wasn’t wrong. I’d only been around Lanie a few times since I came home without my memories, but that kid would scare Lucifer.
Clarity smacked his arm. “Be nice. You know you love that little girl. She’s going to be fierce just like her parents.”
“God help us,” Cinder said.
“Your son is beautiful.” Meg smiled at Oliver. “Makes me want another one.”
Cinder tugged her against his side. “Fuck, woman. I’m too old to chase after another kid.”
Clarity looked sad for a moment. “At least you have the option of having another one. Poor Jordan and Havoc.”
What did that mean? I had a feeling it was something else I’d forgotten. Clarity seemed to notice the confusion on my face and decided to elaborate.
“Jordan had a miscarriage with their second child. Because of complications during her recovery, the doctor suggested they not try for more kids so Havoc got snipped,” Clarity said.
“That sucks. I don’t remember that happening.” Then again, I didn’t remember anything before waking up in that warehouse. Everything before that was just a blank canvas. Nothing. Empty space.
The door slammed open and Renegade stormed inside, a dark look on his face. My body tensed as I prepared for whatever fight he might start this time. He looked at Nikki and Oliver, his gaze softening a moment, before turning back to granite when he faced me again. Why did he hate me being with Nikki? I adored her, and I could tell she was happy with me. I supposed I could understand to a point, but Nikki and Oliver were mine. Why was that so hard for him?
“You shouldn’t be in here,” he said. “They’re not your fucking family.”
Cinder cursed and tried to shove Renegade from the room.
“What the fuck does that mean?” I demanded. “She’s mine, and so is Oliver.”
Renegade sneered at me. “You may have claimed her, but that kid isn’t yours.”
My heart nearly stopped, and everything went still as I processed his words.
“Would you shut the fuck up?” Scratch demanded. “If you’re going to start shit, you need to leave. We talked about this.”
Oliver wasn’t mine? I looked down at Nikki and the baby. Was that the secret I’d seen lurking in her eyes several times? I’d decided I was imagining things. Had I known before losing my memory? Or had Nikki cheated on me? She didn’t seem like the type. I scanned the baby’s face, looking for any sign that he might be mine. He felt like mine.
Renegade was forced from the room and Scratch placed a hand on my shoulder. “Son, I’m only going to say this once. That kid has never known a dad other than you. You’ve been with Nikki from the moment she knew she was pregnant, took her to her appointments, made sure she ate, took care of her the best you could. Doesn’t matter if that kid carries your DNA or not, he’s yours and he will always be yours. Unless you decide to walk away. But that’s not the Ashes we know. The man we know isn’t a quitter and doesn’t back down.”
His woman took his hand and moved closer to his side, looking at Oliver then me. “Scratch isn’t Caleb’s biological father, but he’s the only one that boy has ever known. And Caleb adores his daddy. When you look at Oliver, what do you see?” she asked.
“My son,” I said.
“Then that’s all you need to know,” Cinder said. “Whether your memory comes back or not, that boy will always be yours. You’ll be the one he watches, the one he learns from, the one he calls daddy.”
I nodded, my throat tight with emotion. I still needed to know… “And Nikki?” I asked, almost not recognizing my voice. “Did she…”
“She didn’t cheat on you,” Meg said. “You’ve known her a long time, but you didn’t start seeing each other until after she discovered she was pregnant. Although I suspect that you’ve had feelings for her longer than that.”
The weight on my chest eased at that knowledge. It would have torn me apart to think of her sleeping with someone else after she was mine. Hell, I didn’t like the thought of her being with another man even when she hadn’t been mine. I didn’t remember anyone but her. Still, I knew she hadn’t been my first. I’d been to the clubhouse enough times when the club girls were there to know that I’d been with at least a few of them, or at least they made it sound like I had been. I had no memory of them at all. I just hoped that I hadn’t cheated on my woman. I’d have to kick my own ass then.
“Whether your memory ever returns or not, those two are your family. It’s clear to anyone who sees you and Nikki together that you love her, and she’s over the moon for you,” Cinder said. “Don’t let her asshole brother make you feel like it’s all a lie. I’ll handle Renegade, and find out what’s crawled up his ass.”
“We’ll ask the others to give the three of you some time,” Cinder said, his gaze going to Nikki and Oliver.
I looked down and saw Nik was awake, and chewing her lower lip, worry clouding her eyes. Smoothing her hair back from her face, I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Renegade’s outburst had made me doubt her for a moment, doubt what we had, but they were right. She was mine. Oliver was mine. And that’s all that mattered.
The others left and I took Nikki’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “You missed your brother,” I said.
“What did he do?”
“Said that Oliver isn’t mine.”
Her face drained of all color. The hand still gripped in mine trembled. I could tell she was scared now that I knew the truth, but I didn’t understand why. It was obvious that I’d made her mine. She even had a property cut to prove it, even if I hadn’t seen her wear it. It was understandable since it probably didn’t fit very well while she was pregnant, but now that Oliver was here, she’d get to wear my name on her back, show the world she belonged to me.<
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“Scratch and Clarity said something before they left. Whether Oliver is mine by blood or not, he’s still my son. I love him, Nikki, just like I love you. Whether or not we share the same DNA doesn’t matter.”
Her breath hitched and her eyes filled with tears. “You love me?”
Shit. Had I never told her that? Maybe I was an asshole just like her brother. I didn’t like the idea of that, but why I hadn’t I told her sooner? The others were right. I loved her, even if I didn’t remember being with her before the incident at the warehouse. “Yeah, sweetheart. I love you. Both of you.”
I hugged her to me, making sure we didn’t squish Oliver. I didn’t know what the future would bring for us, but I did know that I saw Nikki by my side through it all. Maybe my memory would return one day, or maybe it wouldn’t. Sometimes I got flashes of what I think happened to me. I just hadn’t been able to piece it all together yet.
When those memories did return, I knew one thing. I wanted vengeance. Whoever had done this to me had stolen my life. Thankfully, Nikki was helping me remember things here and there, but we hadn’t been together forever, and she wouldn’t know club business. I hated having this large void in my head. Placing my trust in people I didn’t remember had been hard.
“You’re not mad I didn’t tell you?” she asked.
“No. I wish you would have, but it doesn’t matter. I’m sure the way I treated you when I first came home scared you. Just like I’m slowly learning to trust everyone at the compound again, you didn’t know if you could trust me anymore either. You had Oliver to think about, and I’d been an ass to you right off.”
She smiled a little. “Yeah, but you quickly made it up to me.”
“That I did.” I smiled, remembering how I’d asked her to join me in the shower, taken her against the wall not caring if anyone remained in the house who might hear. Once I’d known she was mine, that had been enough.
Whatever happened, whether my memories came back or not, I wasn’t going to let it hamper my life with Nikki and Oliver. They were my entire world, and I owed it to them to keep moving forward. We’d make new memories, just like we’d been doing the past two months, and I’d cherish each and every one.
I just needed to find a way to make peace with her brother. I knew it bothered Nikki when Renegade came after me. Why the idiot couldn’t see what he was doing to his sister left me confused. It was obvious he cared about her, so why hurt her the way he had been? It wasn’t something that would get resolved right now, but soon… We needed to sit down and talk. For now, I was going to enjoy the time I had with my woman and son. And I wouldn’t let anything ruin it.
Chapter Six
Ashes
The gray light of early morning streamed through the windows and I blinked in confusion, trying to figure out what woke me. I felt small hands pulling at my underwear and I glanced down the length of my body to find Nikki kneeling between my thighs. She was biting her lip and staring at my hard cock, clearly not aware I’d woken. What the hell was she doing? The doctor had warned us she shouldn’t have sex for at least six weeks, not until after her appointment, and it had only been three weeks since Oliver had been born.
“Nik, what are you up to?” I asked, my voice still husky with sleep.
I loved my son, but damn… that boy woke up every two hours wanting to eat. Nikki and I were both exhausted, her more so than me. Even when I got up to get our son, it wasn’t like I could feed him, so I’d still have to wake her. There were dark smudges under her eyes, but she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.
She flashed me a smile, then leaned down and licked the length of my cock, making me hiss in a breath as my hips bucked. Jesus! She was trying to fucking kill me. I reached down, intent on pulling her away. As much as I loved having her mouth on me, it wasn’t necessary. I might have once been the kind of guy to get off and not care about the woman, but with Nikki things were different. Before I could stop her, she’d taken at least half my dick into her mouth and used her hand to stroke the rest.
“Damn. Baby, that feels so fucking good.”
She hummed, making my balls draw up, as she sucked me harder. The little flicks of her tongue just under the head had me fisting the sheets as I fought for control. It would be so easy to wrap her hair around my hand and shove my cock down her throat, but I didn’t want to hurt Nik for anything, and I knew I wasn’t exactly small.
She shifted and changed her angle, and holy Christ! I damn near came right then and there. I heard Oliver start to whimper through the baby monitor and knew he’d be screaming for his meal in a moment. Nikki just doubled her efforts to get me off.
“Nik. Baby. Oliver is…”
She did this purr type thing as she swallowed more of my dick and I swear I nearly blacked out from the pleasure. Where the fuck had she learned to do that? I was so close to coming when she pulled away, giving me one last lick.
Wait. That was it? She was going to work me up, then leave?
Oliver started to quiet again and Nikki gave me a smile before reaching over me for the drawer next to the bed. Now what was she up to? When she withdrew a bottle of lube, I pushed myself upright. No. No fucking way. The doctor had been very damn clear that she couldn’t have sex yet.
“Nikki, you know we can’t. You heard the doctor.”
“Yes.” She snapped open the lube and started working it down my cock. “I did hear her. I also asked her about other ways we could play.”
“Nik… I’m not going to do anything that might hurt you or delay your recovery. Baby, I know you’re still tender, and --” My brain short-circuited when she straddled my legs, then leaned over, trapping my cock between her breasts. As she rocked, stroking me, I stared at the erotic sight and wondered where this naughty version of Nikki had come from, and how long she’d stick around. Holy fuck!
“This might work better if I lie down and let you fuck me. Well, you know, like this and not…” Her cheeks flushed.
I tapped her and she got up. I quickly reversed our positions, getting even harder when she pressed her breasts together and I thrust between them. Her nipples were red and sore from feeding Oliver, but she didn’t act like she was in pain. If there’d been a hint of discomfort on her face, I’d have stopped no matter how turned-on I was, and I had to wonder if she was hiding her discomfort from me. There was a sparkle in her eyes that said she’d missed the intimacy between us as much as I had. Then the minx flicked her tongue out, licking the head of my cock on the next stroke.
“Jesus, Nik. You’re killing me.”
“Fuck me, Archer. Come all over me.”
My balls drew up at her words and I thrust harder and faster. It only took seconds before I was coming. Ropes of cum spurted across her chest, up her throat, and even splashed onto her face. I couldn’t catch my breath as I stared down at her. I’d have imagined a lot of women would have been freaked out about having cum all over their faces, but not Nikki. She just looked pleased with herself.
“That was so fucking hot,” I said. “Come on, beautiful. I’ll start the shower for you.”
I got off the bed and helped her up, then led her to the bathroom. While the shower warmed, I studied her. Fatigue clung to her, but she never uttered a word of complaint about Oliver or the things she did around the house. Hell, she could have slept a little longer and instead had found a way to get me off, even though I still couldn’t touch her for another few weeks.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
She shook her head. “No. I mean, my boobs are sore, but not because of what we just did.”
I felt bad that she’d just done that for me, even though she hurt. Somehow, I’d make it up to her. It hadn’t been necessary. It was sweet, and hot as fuck, but she needed to take care of herself and not worry about me so much. Despite what men said about needing sex on a regular basis, my hand and I would have gotten along just fine until she was fully healed. After she’d rested a bit, I’d have a talk with her.
/> I tested the water again, then nudged her under the spray. As much as I’d have loved to get in with her, I knew she also needed some alone time. While Nikki washed, I used the sink to rinse off, then went into the bedroom to pull on a pair of sweats before checking on Oliver. He was lying on his back, staring up at the mobile over his crib. Awake but not screaming.
“Good morning, Oliver.”
His legs started kicking when he heard my voice and his head jerked one way, then another as he tried to find me. I moved into his line of sight and reached for him, cradling him against my chest. The scent of a dirty diaper wafted from him. I was amazed he’d been so quiet if he needed to be changed. I loved my son, but he was always vocal when he needed a new diaper. Or food. A cuddle… Really if he was awake, then he could find something to fuss about.
I eased him onto the padded top of the changing table, grabbed a fresh diaper and the wipes, then set about cleaning him up and put him in a fresh outfit. He sucked on his fist and I knew he was hungry, but Nikki hadn’t appeared yet. I hated to drag her from the shower before she’d had a chance to relax and enjoy it, but the little man wouldn’t be satisfied with his hand for long.
I snorted to myself. He wasn’t the only one. Not that I would dare have sex with Nikki before she was healed. I wouldn’t have even thought to touch her this morning if she hadn’t instigated things. Still, it bothered me she felt she’d needed to do that when she could have used the time to rest. We’d definitely have a discussion later. Right now, our son needed to eat.
“Hey, Nik,” I called as I walked into our room.
She stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her head and another around her body. “I figured he would be getting hungry, so I tried to hurry.”
Nikki had proven to be an amazing mother, but I didn’t like the way she always put herself last. I’d have to find a way to make her relax, even if it was just for a little while, or take a much-needed nap. Something. Anything. When she wasn’t taking care of Oliver, she was cleaning, cooking, or finding something else that needed her attention and couldn’t wait. She was wearing herself out, even if she didn’t realize it.
