by Harley Wylde
Ashes kissed my cheek, then rubbed his beard against me, making me want him even more. I loved it when he did that. He always kept it soft so he wouldn’t scratch my skin. I’d learned that the stuff he used on it was what I smelled every time he was near. It had a musky oak type of scent that I just loved. Then there were the times I’d wake up and find him clean-shaven. I just never knew which Ashes I’d find from day to day.
Renegade and Darby came over, but my brother looked uncertain as he gazed at me. I wasn’t sure what to expect of him this time and waited to see what he’d say. If he ruined my night, I might very well have to kick his ass. Or at least I’d try.
“Okay if we sit?” he asked.
“Depends,” I said. “Are you going to be an ass?”
He winced and Darby elbowed him. Cinder had already spoken to him, and while he’d been slightly less hostile toward Ashes, he’d still been something of a dick. My big brother might not have wanted me to be part of the club, but I was and there was no turning back. He just needed to accept it.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken out my anger and frustration on Ashes, or attacked your relationship the way I did. I wanted a better life for you, one that wasn’t filled with danger, and I lashed out. Didn’t help that I hadn’t realized you were in trouble and someone else stepped in to help you.”
“Those are excuses, and poor ones at that,” I said. “You beat on Ashes! Then because of you, he got sent off on that stupid run and lost his memory. As if that isn’t enough, you dare to come to the hospital, then tell him that Oliver isn’t his. What the hell?”
Ashes tightened his hold on me. I wasn’t sure if he was thankful for the support or just wanted me to shut up. I was likely embarrassing him in front of his brothers, but I was tired of Renegade’s shit. Yeah, he was a big bad biker around here, but he’d always just be my brother. Family was supposed to support one another. He seemed to have missed that memo along the way and I was tired of the way he was treating Ashes.
Renegade swung his gaze to the man holding me. “I’m sorry I’ve been a dick. It’s obvious my sister cares about you and I shouldn’t have tried to run you off. I just didn’t want this life for her.”
“I can understand that,” Ashes said. I could feel the hesitation in him and wondered what he was holding back. “Are you really the reason I was sent out that day?”
I was surprised he hadn’t already asked more about what happened. Or maybe he was worried what he’d discover. I knew that Ashes wanted his memories back, and yet there were times I wondered if maybe he was better off not remembering certain parts of his past. What would it be like to have a clean slate? A fresh start with no guilt of any past wrongdoings?
“Yeah, I am,” Renegade said. I could see in his eyes that he regretted that decision.
“What’s done is done,” Scratch said. “Nothing we say or do will change what happened. But I may have a bit of good news for you. Havoc tracked down the men Ashes was supposed to meet that day. They were paid off and we were set up. I figured as much when they went to ground right after it happened.”
“That’s good news?” Ashes asked.
Scratch shrugged. “At least we have something to go on. If we can piece together what happened that day, then maybe it will help bring your memory back.”
“Not that I don’t love the fact you’re discussing club business in front of us women,” Clarity said, “but we are here to celebrate Halloween with the kids. Maybe we should get started on the fun stuff?”
Scratch kissed her cheek and nodded. “All right. You and Meg get everything going.”
“I can help,” I offered. “As long as Ashes doesn’t mind watching Oliver?”
My man patted my hip and nudged me off his lap. I knew he adored our baby and normally didn’t mind helping with him. But I also knew he had an image to uphold, and even if the brothers present were all fathers, I didn’t know how he would react. He gave me a wink and a nudge of his chin letting me know it was fine to leave. I joined Meg and Clarity by the table draped with crepe paper covered in pumpkins and ghosts. Someone, likely a Prospect, had even put up some balloons.
“How are things really going?” Meg asked.
“Good. He sometimes loses his temper when he can’t remember something, or rather when he gets bombarded by what he calls flashes that don’t make sense to him, but he never takes his anger out on me or Oliver.”
Clarity and Meg shared a look.
“What?” I asked.
“The Ashes we know, from before the incident, would never lose his temper around a woman or kid, much less his own. Are you sure everything is okay? You aren’t scared being there with him?” Meg asked.
“We’re fine. Really.” I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince them or me. “He leaves when he realizes he’s let his anger take over.”
Clarity rubbed her hands together. “Then let’s get things started. I had the Prospects lay out the food and drinks, all non-alcoholic. If the guys want beer, I’m sure they’ll just grab them from behind the bar. I just didn’t want any of the older kids to pick one up out of curiosity.”
I heard the door open but ignored it. The way Meg’s eyes went wide as she stared over my shoulder made my shoulders tense. Then the cloying scent of way too much cheap perfume assailed my nose right before Oliver started to cry. Don’t ask me how I knew it was my son and not my nephew, but I just did. I could tell his cry from any other baby’s. I didn’t know if that was a maternal thing or just a gift I had. Turning to see why my son was so upset, my eyes narrowed as I stared at some trashy woman shoving her cleavage in Ashes’ face.
My hands clenched at my sides, and I growled as I started across the room. The way she pawed at him was enough to make me grind my teeth. It was only the way he was trying to shove her away that tempered my rage even a little. I’d never felt anger over another woman coming on to my boyfriend in the past, but Ashes was mine and I would damn well fight for him if I had to.
“Get your hands off him,” I said.
She turned her face toward me, her lips painted a dark red. It was a stark contrast from her bleached hair with dark roots, layers of black mascara and eyeliner, all set in a ghostly pale face. The makeup couldn’t hide the lines around her lips telling me she either was or had been a smoker. She also looked quite a bit older than me. Unless partying at the club had just prematurely aged her. I knew a lot of drugs and alcohol could do that.
She eyed me up and down before facing Ashes again, dismissing me like I was nothing. Oh no, she fucking didn’t! I marched around the table, reached out and grabbed a handful of overprocessed hair, and pulled the bitch away from Ashes. She teetered on her heels before landing on her ass. When she tried to stand, I shoved my foot in the center of her chest and knocked her back down.
“Just stay down there. You don’t talk to him, you don’t touch him, and you sure the fuck don’t offer yourself up like a whore to him.”
She sneered at me. “I can do whatever I want. You don’t make the rules.”
I felt a presence at my back, the type that only Scratch and Cinder could pull off. One of them placed a hand on my shoulder.
“She may not make them, but we do. She’s also his ol’ lady, so you’ll show her some fucking respect. You were told not to show up here this early, and whoever let you in is going to be dealt with. I have no doubt you got him all worked up, but it’s no excuse. It’s family time, and you have no place here right now.” Cinder moved forward, and I knew it was Scratch holding on to me, probably worried I’d lose my shit on the bitch. “You can come back in three hours.”
“Feel free to crawl back. I’m sure you’ll spend the night on your knees anyway,” I said.
Scratch squeezed my shoulder, but I felt the vibration of his silent laughter.
Ashes stood, our son in his arms and stared down at the woman on the floor. Then he turned his back on her to face me, a dismissal if ever I saw one. Tipping my chin up, I met his gaze. All I saw
was warmth and concern. I pressed a kiss to his lips, letting him know I wasn’t upset with him. Just with the slut who had dared to go after him. There was no way he’d have asked for her attention. He’d looked decidedly uncomfortable when I’d walked up to the table.
“We good?” he asked.
“Yeah. Just need to take out the trash.”
I stepped around him and Cinder, grabbed the woman by the hair again and started dragging her ass out of the clubhouse as she shrieked and squawked. I could hear the other ladies clapping as I slammed the door shut, the woman still lying on the porch, her face twisted and flushed a bright red. Maybe she’d think twice before going after a man who was claimed, and everyone by now knew that Ashes wasn’t single anymore. It seemed some of the club sluts didn’t care.
“Feel better?” Cinder asked.
I paused, trying to determine if he looked pissed. I was still trying to learn my way now that I wasn’t just the sister of a Devil but claimed by one too.
“Maybe.”
He cracked a smile before sobering again. “Good. Now let’s show these kids a good time.”
I went to Ashes and kissed him and Oliver. Ashes leaned down, his lips brushing my ear. “That was so fucking hot. I can’t wait to get you home and put Oliver to bed.”
My nipples went instantly hard and my panties grew damp. I was starting to worry he’d never touch me again! If I’d known all I had to do was beat some whore’s ass, I’d have done it a week ago. He nuzzled my neck, then kissed my cheek.
I could feel my cheeks burning when I joined Meg and Clarity again. We set up a pin the tail on the werewolf game, a bean bag toss with a board shaped like Frankenstein, and someone had filled a large bowl with water and apples on a table away from everything else. Havoc pumped some kid-friendly spooky music and songs through the speakers and I smiled as Allegra and Caleb started bouncing and dancing. It didn’t take long for the other kids to join in, except for the babies.
I noticed Jordan kept eyeing Oliver with longing. I took him from Ashes and walked over to her, then held out the baby. “You can hold him,” I said.
Her lower lip trembled, and it was the only time I ever remembered Jordan showing a vulnerable side. I heard she’d lost her shit when Havoc went missing, but I’d never seen her look close to crying before. Losing her baby, and knowing she’d never have another, must have been tearing her apart. I couldn’t even imagine if Oliver hadn’t survived.
“You know, if you want to keep him sometime, you can. Not that I think you’re a glorified babysitter, but… I’m just saying, if you get baby fever and need a fix, I’m sure Oliver would be happy to visit with you.”
She held my son close and hugged me tight with her other arm. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“I know we aren’t exactly friends, Jordan, but have you thought of maybe adopting? It’s not the same as giving birth to your own, but I’m sure there are babies out there who need a home.”
A shadow fell over me and I tipped my head back to look up at Havoc. He had an arched eyebrow as he stared at me before settling his gaze on his woman. “She’s right. Might be something we should look into.”
Jordan nodded and kissed Oliver’s forehead. “Okay.”
I left them and went to find Ashes. He’d claimed a table with Scratch, Renegade, and Jackal, each with a beer in their hands. It seemed Clarity had been right. The guys had wanted alcohol so they’d gotten bottles from behind the bar. The table still didn’t have a drop of alcohol where the kids could reach it. Instead of intruding on their time, I went back to Clarity and Meg, but Josie had joined them since I’d walked off earlier.
Darby was talking to Jordan, and I saw Havoc head in the direction of the other guys. A Prospect was standing behind the bar, but was busy doing something on his phone. I felt so out of place. I never had before, but at other gatherings I’d just been Renegade’s sister. Now I was Ashes’ ol’ lady. These people were my family, yet most of the time I felt like I was on the outside looking in. It wasn’t that they didn’t include me in stuff, but I just felt… like I didn’t belong. Maybe it was because I knew the real reason Ashes had claimed me, and it didn’t have anything to do with him loving me. He hadn’t confessed his feelings until after his injury, and while I’d loved hearing those words, I worried that once his memories came back he wouldn’t feel that way about me. Might even be angry that I hadn’t corrected him. It ate at me all the time.
“What’s wrong?” Josie asked.
“Nothing.” I gave her a weak smile. “I’m fine.”
Josie’s look clearly said she didn’t believe me. I wasn’t ready to confess my fears to anyone. Part of me felt guilty. It was wrong to hope he never got his memories back. I kept telling myself he’d be better off, not remembering any bad stuff from his past, but deep down I knew I was just scared of his reaction to me and how we came to be together. I’d told him quite a bit already, even if I hadn’t told him everything.
The kids played their games, ate cupcakes, and ran wild for over two hours. By the time the party was winding down, I was more than ready to go home. Jordan had held Oliver until he’d gotten fussy and needed to eat. Cinder had let me use his office to feed the baby since I hadn’t been that comfortable breastfeeding in front of my brother. Now Oliver was asleep in his carrier. Ashes gently rocked it every few seconds while he talked to Scratch, but I’d tuned them out. Some of the women hated not knowing what was going on the club, but I honestly didn’t want to know, unless it was going to take Ashes from me.
The Prospects were going to clean up the mess and get things ready for the single guys to start their night of drinking and women. As all the families headed out, Ashes put his arm around me and lifted Oliver’s carrier from the chair. The heated look in his eyes still made my stomach flutter. No matter how much I worried how he’d react when he remembered everything, I still craved his touch. I’d fallen for him, even as I’d told myself not to get attached.
“Ready to go home?” he asked.
“Yeah. I need to get Oliver changed and into bed.”
Ashes kissed my cheek, then stood with the carrier in his hand. He helped me up and led me out to the car. Once Oliver was secure and I’d buckled my own seat belt, Ashes put the car into gear and drove through the compound toward our house. I hurried inside to get out some pajamas for Oliver and a clean diaper. Ashes brought him inside and laid him on the changing table. While I got our son ready for bed, I heard Ashes moving around in the bedroom. The sound of water running made me pause and stare at the wall, trying to figure out what he was doing, but I shrugged it off and put Oliver to bed.
I pulled his bedroom door all the way shut, knowing that we’d hear him on the baby monitor if he got fussy, and I went to find Ashes. My jaw dropped when I entered the bedroom. The lights were off, but he’d lit about a half dozen candles around the room and I saw the soft glow of more candlelight in the adjoining bathroom.
“Get naked and get in here,” Ashes called.
I stripped off my clothes and shoes, then padded into the bathroom. He was laid back in the tub and held his hand out to me. I stepped over the side and let him pull me down in front of him, his legs bracketing my body. Leaning against his chest, I sighed as the hot water seemed to just drain the stress from me. I didn’t know how he knew I needed this, but it was heaven. “You’re pretty amazing,” I murmured.
“There were times tonight you looked freaked out. I didn’t know if someone had said something to you, or if you had a lot on your mind.”
I shrugged a shoulder and skimmed my hand across the water.
“Nik, why do I sometimes feel like you’re keeping something from me?”
Every muscle in my body went tight at his words. My heart started to race and I wondered if my happy little family was about to unravel. Would he force me to tell him? Would he be angry?
“You know I love you, right?” he asked. “Nothing you say or do will change that. I don’t know what life was like between us
before, but I’ve learned what an amazing, compassionate, sweet woman you are. And tonight I learned you’re a badass when someone flirts with your man.”
I didn’t feel like a badass. Yeah, I’d gotten jealous and felt territorial, but… I wasn’t like Jordan. I couldn’t kick someone’s ass, even though she’d tried to teach me some self-defense. After Bane and I had been taken, she’d been worried what would happen if I were in that situation again. I’d been beaten badly, but I knew things would have been so much worse if my brother hadn’t shown up that day. It had nearly cost him his life too.
“What would you do if you found out that our relationship was a lie?” I asked softly.
“A lie? How is our relationship a lie?”
I licked my lips and braced myself for whatever he might say or do when I confessed the truth. “You only claimed me because you were ordered to. Oliver’s dad was a Prospect. Bane. I know I’ve mentioned him before, but I never told you everything. Just bits and pieces. He and I were taken and beaten. Bane didn’t make it, but I did, and I found out a little while later that I was pregnant. Your cousin was behind it, me and Bane getting taken. The only reason you spent so much time with me during my pregnancy was because of your guilt, even though I’d told you time and again it wasn’t your fault. I didn’t lie when I said you took care of me after Bane died. You did. It just wasn’t because you loved me.”
He rubbed a hand up and down my thigh.
