by Ella Miles
Just as she reaches for the door, I slam it shut, caging her in with my hands.
“Why?” I whisper, taking my anger down a notch. Maybe there’s an answer, an explanation. My voice pleads for there to be a good reason for her to be getting all dolled up to go on a date with Julian. But for the life of me, I can’t come up with a reason.
She closes her eyes as if to shield herself from me.
“Why are you going on a date with Julian?”
She reaches for the door handle again, and this time, I let her open the door. I’m not going to force her to tell me the truth, not anymore. If she has a good reason she wants to share, she’ll tell me.
And then I see them, the glistening tears against her cheek.
“I’m doing this for you. To keep your precious Lucy safe.” She walks out the door, slamming the door in my face, leaving me alone with my stunned expression.
“You really are an ass,” Nora says from behind me.
I agree, the biggest.
“Come on, let’s make some popcorn. I have a feeling we are going to be up all night worrying about our girl,” Nora says, taking pity on me.
But I can’t turn to follow Nora. Instead, I keep looking at the door and the expression on Siren’s face. It was the truth. She’s going on a date with Julian to protect Lucy. She’s doing it for me.
Why?
The answer is obvious. But I’m not ready to go there again. I’m not ready to risk everything. I’m not ready to be vulnerable. But I do know that I’m going to be staring at the door all night long, desperately waiting for Siren to strut back through it.
It’s just a date.
Exactly—it’s a date. So I don’t know why I expect her to be walking through my door again tonight. She’ll be spending the night with Julian. She’ll spend the night in his bed. Or at least his house.
I may have gotten Lucy back, but I just lost another woman—Siren.
15
Siren
This date is by far the worse date I’ve been on, and I’ve been on some doozies. Dates that ended with a drunk man puking on me, getting left with a two hundred dollar bill, and even an attempted drugging. But my date with Julian Reed tops them all.
And I can’t even tell you why exactly, just this strange feeling in my gut that says Julian is up to something. He’s always up to something.
Because as much as Julian has wanted to control this date, he isn’t. I’m in control.
At first, he tried to fight back, but I quickly took control, and I haven’t let him have it back since the moment he tried to pick me up in his fancy Aston Martin. He opened the passenger door and expected me to sit obediently, but instead, I slid all the way into the driver’s seat.
After my little fight with Zeke, I needed the distraction that driving offers. And I couldn’t stand for Julian to drive. I needed to feel in control.
It continued when he tried to hold the door open for me; I took it and waited for him to enter first. When he tried to order my drink for me, even though he ordered my favorite, I asked the bartender to bring me a different one. When he ordered my meal, I ordered another.
The date became one big fight for control, one I was definitely winning. However, Julian didn’t seem too upset to be losing.
I was winning—until now. I feel the brush of Julian’s fingers under the table against my knee.
I freeze. I can’t stand to be touched by this man. By any man really, but especially this man. The only man I want touching me is Zeke. And right now, I don’t even want him to touch me because his touch reminds me of everything that we will never have.
Julian’s hand slides up my thigh.
“What are you doing?” I ask, gritting my teeth to keep from yelling at him in this posh restaurant.
“There was nothing in our rules that said I couldn’t touch you.”
His hand slides higher, hitting my limit.
I grab his middle finger and twist, getting that instant release of pressure as I dislocate his finger.
Julian’s face scrunches in pain for a split second, and then his face goes neutral.
Huh. Maybe he has a higher tolerance for pain than I thought?
“It wasn’t part of our agreement because I didn’t think it was necessary to state that you weren’t allowed to touch me. You are never allowed to touch a woman without her expressed permission.”
His eyes darken as he leans forward. “You want me to touch you. I can see it in the way your lips part anytime I talk, hanging onto every word I say. I can see it in the way you keep crossing and uncrossing your legs. The way your eyes grow heavy with lust. You want me.”
I take a deep breath, and then I dislocate his ring finger. This time he doesn’t even cringe. He was expecting me to hurt him.
“Well, let me clear some things up then. I don’t want you. I don’t like you. I hate you.” I release his hand and fling it back in his direction. “Don’t ever touch me again.”
“You can say whatever words you want. They are all lies. You may not even realize it yourself. But your body doesn’t lie to me. Your body wants me, even if your mind doesn’t.”
I shake my head. “My body wants Zeke, that’s who I’ve been thinking about all night.”
It’s true. I’ve been thinking about Zeke all fucking night! Been thinking about our last kiss. Been thinking about the taste of Zeke’s cum between my lips. Been thinking about how great angry fucking against every hard surface in the house would be, but it isn’t going to happen. Because Zeke doesn’t understand. He will never understand why I make the decisions I do. Why I outwardly betray him, while secretly protecting him from greater evil than he even realizes exists.
Julian shakes his hand and then carefully pops each finger back into place.
Excellent—now I can dislocate them again.
“Zeke will never want you like you want him.”
“You don’t know that.” Even though I know it’s the truth.
“I do. You want to know how I know for sure?” He leans forward again like he’s about to tell me a secret. And I find myself leaning forward as well.
“I know because you will never like me like I like you,” he says.
I frown and lean back before taking a sip of my Pina colada. Yes, I ordered a frozen Pina Colada even though this is a restaurant where you only order wine or scotch. I also ordered macaroni and cheese off the kid’s menu—anything to make this less of a date and more awkward for Julian.
“That’s because you are an evil monster who would feed his child to the wolves if it meant you got ahead in this world.”
He nods. “Exactly, and Zeke thinks of you in the same way. He thinks you are a selfish cunt who only cares about herself. He doesn’t know what you’ve done for him. He’ll never know. Even if you told him, he wouldn’t believe you.”
I suck on my straw until I get every last drop of the frozen drink that’s more sugar than alcohol into my mouth. Julian’s right. Zeke will never want me. Never like me. Definitely never love me.
But it doesn’t change my feelings for him, at least not right now. Maybe when he’s gone, and he takes my heart with him, will I realize that loving him was a mistake. Right now, it feels right. Like I was put on this earth to love Zeke. To protect Zeke.
Zeke may think I’m a siren luring him to his death. But he got it right the first time—I’m his guardian angel watching out for him, he will just never know that I’m an angel in disguise.
“Don’t give up hope yet, though,” Julian says out of nowhere.
My eyes flicker up hesitantly, unsure what he’s saying.
“I thought that was exactly what you were saying, to give up hope. Because it’s the same lost cause as you trying to go after me. It’s never going to happen.”
He drinks down the rest of his scotch. “The odds are against us both. But every once in a while, a man picks the winning lottery numbers, gets struck by lightning, and hits the game-winning three-pointer. It doesn’t happen of
ten, and sometimes the results are worse than the current life. But it happens. It can happen. Rarely, and unexpectedly. But our lives aren’t about the expected.”
I swallow, afraid of the words that are coming next.
“You have three men who want you in different ways. Three men who have carved their names into your neck. Three men who have wanted you. And by the time this is all over, you’ll end up with one of us. Hugo, Zeke, or me. You’re destined to.”
“What if I want to run away and live a normal life with a normal man? A man who is a teacher or lawyer, a man living a sane life, one where I don’t have to carry a gun with me everywhere I go.”
He smiles gently. “Because you don’t want that life, Aria. A teacher’s life is boring. And a lawyer can be just as corrupt as I am. And don’t for one second pretend that you don’t enjoy carrying that gun. It gives you power and control over your life. Something you desperately want.”
He’s right. I like the gun. I like using my skills. But what if I want more? What if I want something different? Something that isn’t just shooting and killing people? And fighting? Sometimes I’m tired of fighting.
But I’m not tired of this life. I just want my partner to carry on the fight when I can’t. When I’m too tired to fight. When I need a break.
Julian’s right that I can only ever be with a man from this world. I can’t start over with a plain, normal, and boring man. I need a man who can fight as well as I can.
Hugo, Julian, or Zeke.
But the only man for me is Zeke.
“Have I fulfilled my dately duties? Are we finished?”
“Just about.”
Julian stands and motions for me to do the same. He guides me out of the restaurant with his hand on the small of my back.
I’m going to make him pay for the gesture. For the burning touch that I can’t do anything about without making a scene in front of all these people. The second we get to the car, all bets are off. The date is over, and I can do whatever I want.
The valet has already pulled the car around without us having to ask. Julian is a regular at this restaurant. It’s also why he never handed them his credit card. They already have it on file.
The valet goes to open the passenger side door for me, and this time, I don’t fight Julian for the driver’s seat. I want a few minutes to be lost in thought before we get back to Julian’s compound, and I have to decide between finding a guest room in Julian’s house to sleep in or going to Zeke’s. Neither seems like a great option right now.
Julian drives wordlessly back to the compound, but he doesn’t stop in front of his house. He stops in front of Zeke’s. As if he knows that’s where I’m headed. Or he wants to make Zeke jealous or angry by him showing up with me.
He put the car in park.
“Deal over? You won’t touch Lucy?” I ask.
“I won’t touch Lucy. You have her address and information, and I’m guessing you already have a plan to move her elsewhere.”
I don’t answer, but he knows me well enough to know that it’s exactly what I’m doing.
I grab for the door handle, when Julian grabs my face and turns it toward him until our mouths are inches apart.
My eyes fly open, and red warning bells go off everywhere.
And without thinking, I have a gun pointed at his temple.
He grins at my reaction but doesn’t release my face. Probably because he knows I won’t kill him. If I do, Lucy is dead. And so is Zeke. He has fail-safes in place to ensure Zeke and I don’t kill him without losing something we love as well.
“This date is over, Julian. I agreed to one date. No kisses. No sex.”
He nods. “The date is over.”
“Then, what are you doing?”
“Offering you a second deal.”
I close my eyes. Don’t listen. Whatever it is, it’s not worth it.
“I’ll trade a kiss for time.”
“Time?” I ask, keeping my eyes closed. Don’t fall for his tricks. Don’t fall for the devil’s schemes.
“When the game is over. When Zeke has finished his last task or answered his final question, I’ll be free to chase down his boss. I’ll be free to kill them all, Zeke included. I’m trading one kiss for one day. I’ll wait one day, give Zeke a one day head start to return to his friends and try and keep them safe. One kiss for one more day of Zeke getting to live instead of dying. One kiss for one day.”
Damn him. He already knows I’m going to accept. I would do anything to keep Zeke alive. I would give Julian anything to ensure Zeke has the best chance of survival. And in this game, one day can mean everything.
“Deal,” I say, keeping my eyes closed, keeping the tears at bay. It’s just a kiss.
A kiss Julian will play in his head over and over. A kiss he will dream about. A kiss his thoughts will stray to when he’s masturbating. A kiss he will think means so much more than just a kiss.
I wait, unmoving, for him to kiss me. My heart thuds wildly, not from excitement, but from trepidation. I can’t do this.
Zeke. Think about Zeke.
So I do, and I realize that is what Julian is waiting for—for my mind to go somewhere else. For him to be able to kiss me without the pain, for him to kiss me when I’m most vulnerable.
His lips press against mine, and his hand cradles my head and neck, keeping me from ending the kiss too soon.
We didn’t talk rules of the kiss.
How long?
Are tongues allowed, expected?
Nothing.
I’m a passive participant.
I let him kiss me, but I don’t kiss him back, even with Zeke flicking in my head.
Julian puts everything into the kiss. He spreads my lips, his tongue dips and swirls in my mouth, and his throat gives off soft moans.
I feel nothing but sticky lips against mine.
Finally, he releases me. And his eyes heat into devious slits.
I’ve never understood why Julian hasn’t just forced me. Why hasn’t he raped me if he wants me? I’m sure he’s raped other women before. But with me, it’s his favorite game. To try and convince me to choose him. Only then will he have his way with me.
I don’t know why. Does the man think he loves me? I doubt Julian Reed is capable of love. But then, most creatures are. They just love in different ways.
Julian shows his love by not raping me.
Zeke shows his love by protecting me.
And I show Zeke my love by betraying him to keep him safe.
I step out of the car wordlessly. I walk up to the front door and knock, unable to push my way into Zeke’s house when I was just kissing Julian.
When Zeke opens the door, I know he saw the kiss. If his anger was a ten before, now it’s a hundred. The ensuing battle is going to be one of our most intense.
16
Zeke
Siren went on a date with the devil to keep Lucy safe—a woman I’ve led Siren to think I love. A woman who means the world to me, but not in the way Siren thinks. I’m not in love with Lucy; I just love her. She’s part of my life, my family, my world. And I will do everything to protect her.
And it seems, Siren will too.
I stare at the door Siren just left through, unable to get passed what just happened. I’m angry. And happy. Confused and blind. I feel warm and cold.
“Here,” Nora thrusts a drink into my hand, but I don’t register if it’s alcohol or not. Or even what kind.
I just sip.
“What is Siren doing?” I ask, needing to understand who Siren is.
“Isn’t it obvious?” Nora replies.
No, it’s not obvious. Nothing Siren does is obvious. She’s manipulative and selfish and unkind. She’s the exact opposite of everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman. And yet, I’m still here standing in front of the door, regretting letting her go on a date with my biggest enemy.
I take a drink and then spit it out. “What the hell is this?”
“Apple juice.”
I raise an eyebrow at Nora. “Why the fuck are you giving me apple juice?”
“Because you need a clear head when Siren returns, not be drunk off your ass.”
“And apple juice is the way to do it? Why not water?”
She bites her lip. “Because I thought you were too focused on Aria to notice I wasn’t serving you wine or alcohol.”
I shake my head. “I’m not focused on Siren.”
“Then why are you standing in the foyer staring at a door? She’s going to be gone a least a couple of hours; you should sit in the living room and finish watching the soccer game with me.”
“No,” I answer, not giving her more of an explanation.
Nora doesn’t push me, though.
“You two are so fucked up that you belong together, you know?”
I frown, still staring at the door, memorizing every dark spot, flaw, and scratch. “No, I don’t know. We are so fucked up, we are completely wrong for each other.”
She laughs. “Want to make a bet?”
Finally, I look at her. “I don’t bet on people’s hearts.”
“What about your own?”
I turn back to the door.
“I don’t want your money. I just want you to realize that you’ve already fallen. It’s all wrong. You are both so wrong for each other. You’re both toxic to the other. But you’re also the cure.”
“That’s not possible.”
She smiles, knowingly. “I’ve known Aria for years. At the time, she was with Hugo. In love with him, so to speak. It might have been love, but it’s not what you two have. When Hugo and her would walk into a room, they didn’t demand attention and change the feel of the air like you two. Depending on how connected you two are, you turn the room cold as ice or hot as fire. The two of you together control more than just each other; you control the whole dammed world. And together you can save it or destroy it. Whatever you two have is that powerful.
“Call it hate. Call it love. Call it fate. You were destined to be together. For a moment in time or forever, I don’t know. But together, you can inflict so much pain or save so many. But only together. Apart, you are fated to destroy us all. Your pull is too great. Stop fighting it. You don’t have to love her, just be with her. Stop letting your jealousy and pride get in the way.”
