by Jared Bellis
“W-What? I didn’t…” Andrew stuttered.
Chalandra was shaking her head. “I saw you burn his hand. I don’t know how you did it, but you’re responsible…”
“SLEEP!” commanded Ruul. There was a quick flash of light and the cyborg passed out.
“What just happened?” asked Ray.
“Magic!” shouted Ruul. “I was tired of listening to him!”
“So, what do we do with them?” asked Andrew. Joe was still muttering about Raiders and had quit paying attention. “I don’t feel good about killing them.” Ray nodded his agreement.
“Should we turn them over to the guard?” he asked. Chalandra shook her head.
“No. Most of the guard is corrupt and would just let them go. We need a plan. Preferably something that won’t get innocents hurt or the bar destroyed.”
“You know, this gives us an opportunity. We were going to search for the bandits to take them out, but now we can get them to come to us,” Ray mused.
“Are you insane?” she demanded. “You all can’t possibly stand up to the Raiders! There are far too many and they are far too powerful! So what if you can shoot fire and he has metal balls? You’ll die!”
“You have metal balls?” asked Ruul. “Show me your balls!” Joe looked confused, but did as ordered. Soon Ruul had a half dozen metal balls orbiting him. He looked delighted.
“We’re stronger than you think. Besides, we have Balzac. He’ll help us come up with a good plan.” Balzac let out a loud snore and a fart that was totally out of proportion with his body. Chalandra looked doubtful.
“If you say so. But we still have to decide what to do with these pricks.”
“We should let them go,” said Andrew. They all gave him a look.
“What? We aren’t going to kill them—” Ruul muttered darkly at that— “so we could send them with a message, telling this queen where to meet us.” Ray and Joe looked at each other.
“That could work. We’d need to go outside the walls, though. I don’t want anyone getting hurt. If we could find someone to sneak into their compound to free the slaves while we confront her…” suggested Ray
“We don’t know where that is,” pointed out Joe.
“I know, we’ll have to figure that out. Do you think Stubby could track these guys?” Ray asked. Andrew paused before nodding.
“I bet he could. I’ll have to ask him when I go check on him.” Stubby hadn’t been allowed to stay at the bar, and him being in the city at all would attract too much attention, so he’d been hanging out in the forest nearby. He seemed happy with the arrangement. Andrew went out every day or so to check on him.
“I think I saw some of those plantling things Mo had with him last time I went out. Maybe they’ll help, too.”
“I have no idea what you guys are talking about, but good luck with whatever you decide. I’ll just be here, tending bar,” stated Chalandra.
“You could come with us and help,” offered Joe. He had a bit of a crush on the beautiful bartender and was hurt that she was dismissing them so easily.
“Thanks, but no thanks. I’m not a fighter. Just a little half-succubus trying to make her way in the world,” she replied.
“Half succubus? What’s the other half?” asked Joe.
“Out of your league,” she replied with a smile. “Besides, I’m not into guys.
“You’re a lesbian?” blurted out Andrew. She nodded.
“A lesbian succubus?” Ray added. She nodded again.
“Why would a leshbian suck a bus?” asked Balzac drunkenly. He’d sat up to make his comment, but fell right back over. Everyone burst out in laughter, nobody more so than Chalandra. After they all calmed down, they continued to try to work out a plan.
Andrew started knocking on the cyborgs head.
“Wakey, wakey! Time for you to leave!” he yelled.
“Wha…What? What do you mean, leave? You aren’t going to kill us?” asked the confused cyborg.
“Nope, we aren’t into killing. You get to leave on two conditions. First, never come here again. Second, take a message to your queen. We will be happy to meet up with her, outside of town, at this location. We will be there in three days. If she wants to throw down, that’s when and where it will take place. Got it?” replied Andrew. The cyborg nodded.
“Now, get your buddy here and get out!” The cyborg complied as quickly as possible, all but dragging his half-ogre partner out the door.
“You ready Balzac?” The squirrel nodded unsteadily and quietly followed the pair out. A few minutes later the power started to flicker.
“What the hell?” asked Ray. They rushed outside and noticed a nasty smell. They started looking around, finally spotting a smoking Balzac hanging from a power line with his front paws. His back paws were sitting on the lower line.
“DAMMIT CLARENCE! YOU GAVE US A DEFECTIVE SQUIRREL!” Andrew yelled up at the sky while shaking his fist. Thunder rolled across the sky, sounding like a giant laughing. Joe shook his head and sent a metal ball up to slap the squirrel off the wire. He landed with a thud on the ground.
“Owww!” wheezed the squirrel. Andrew sighed and quickly healed Balzac.
“You’re an idiot. You know that, right?” said Ray.
“It’s not my fault! I run across that line all the time! I figured it was a good way to stay out of sight, but I slipped,” responded Balzac.
“You don’t usually do it drunk, though!” noted Ray.
“Oh, yeah. That might have contributed,” admitted Balzac.
“Now we don’t know where they went!” whined Andrew.
“Guess you need to check on Stubby,” stated Joe.
“Guys,” started Ray, “Stubby never got his scent, so there’s no way he can follow him.” They gave him a blank look.
“He can’t follow a scent he never got, right?” Ray tried again. The brothers looked at each other.
“Oh, I guess not. What now?” said Andrew.
“Let’s go back to the bar and get our things. We need to get out to the meetup site and prepare,” answered Ray.
“But we don’t meet up for three days! Why would we want to sit out there when we can be comfortable here in town?” whined Andrew.
“I think we need to spend some time getting ready and planning things out. Besides, I don’t think we’re going to accomplish much more in town,” said Ray.
They headed back to the Purloined Pixie to grab their stuff and say their goodbyes.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” asked Chalandra. John and Frank looked dubious.
“You’re all stupid!” encouraged Ruul. “Why would you go out there at all? Ruul can protect you!”
“I wouldn’t bet on that,” stated Chalandra. “You can’t count on anyone in this town; the Raiders are too powerful and have too much influence. Not that going out on your own is a good idea either. You’re just making yourself more vulnerable out there.”
“You have a better idea?” asked Joe.
“Well, no,” she replied. “It just seems you are putting yourself in unnecessary danger.”
“If we’re out there, they won’t come after you guys. Besides, if we get out there early we can prepare some surprises,” said Ray. “Do you all have any information or advice?”
“Don’t die?” offered John.
“Piss on them all!” advised Ruul. Chalandra shook her head.
“I think they’re looking for something a little more concrete. We don’t know much about them. There are quite a few of them; nobody knows how many. Some are basic human,” she said, “and we only know of the one cyborg and half-ogre. There are also rumors of several vampires. Well, at least one less now than there used to be. There might be a necromancer, too, but nobody knows for sure.”
“We killed some zombies on the way here,” stated Andrew.
“Yeah, they weren’t tough,” bragged Joe.
“They must not have had the necromancer with them then. They are a lot stronger with their o
wner around. Look, there’s no telling how many you’re going to face or if they’ll show up at all. I think this is a needless risk,” stated Chalandra.
“Well, it’s all we’ve got. That information helps; if you guys want to come join the party, we’d love the help,” said Andrew hopefully. Ruul and his people shook their heads.
“Our place is here. They may decide to hit the Purloined Pixie, so we need to protect our home!” stated John.
“It was worth a shot,” said Ray. They started gathering their stuff and headed out of town. The guard they met on the way into the city stopped them as they arrived at the gate.
“You boys are a special kind of stupid aren’t you?” he asked.
“Yeah, why?” answered Andrew without thinking. The other two gave him a dirty look and Balzac snorted out a squirrelly laugh. The guard just looked incredulous and pulled them aside.
“You killed one of the high ranking Raiders and you challenged the Queen? That’s all kinds of stupid. Or suicidal. Why would you do something like that?”
Ray sighed. “We ran into some of these jerk-offs before; they like to hurt women and children. We don’t hold with that. Once we get this taken care of, we’re going to go hide out somewhere and never fight again.”
“Well, you’re going to die. But good luck!”
“I don’t guess you want to help or anything?” asked Joe. The guard laughed.
“No way. I’d rather live, thanks. If you actually do survive, give me a call. I’ll buy you all a drink!” With that, he let them go.
CHAPTER 19
“You guys need to do some training,” stated Balzac, “and you don’t have much time.”
“What kind of training?” asked Joe. “We know how to use our powers.” They all agreed, feeling very confident in their abilities. Balzac shook his head.
“Look, you have a basic grasp on what you can do, but I think you’re all capable of more. Joe, you probably have the greatest understanding of your abilities— relatively speaking— but you’re only scratching the surface,” the squirrel said. “Ray, I’m betting you can control more than fire and air, and you’ve barely even practiced what you can do with air!”
“Andrew,” he continued, “you’ve figured out healing, but what about the rest? Other than farting at supernatural evil, what have you done?” Andrew started to defend himself, but Balzac held up a paw. “I know, you stopped and exploded some zombies. But do you know how you did it? Could you do it on command? What else can you do? A lot of priests can cast regular spells, but you’ve shown no ability to do that at all. Don’t you guys want to know what you can really do?” They looked at each other and came to an instant decision.
“Alright, when do we start?” asked Ray.
“Let’s get to our campsite first. We also need to grab Stubby on the way.” Balzac sighed. “And I’m probably gonna have to get Clarence to help us out too.” He didn’t look happy about that.
“Can’t he just help us with those stupid Raiders?” asked Joe. Balzac shook his head.
“No, all we can really do is find and aid heroes, not actually interfere in conflicts. Getting him to help with training is pushing it, but hopefully he’ll be willing to help.”
“Dude, you take an active part in everything we do. You can’t say you don’t interfere,” pointed out Andrew.
“I interfere as a squirrel, not with my full powers. When I’m down here, I’m only what I appear to be, nothing more. I can’t access my greater powers to help.”
“Oh, well that sucks,” said Joe sympathetically. “It would have been nice if you guys could just POOF them away.”
“You guys really love that term don’t you?” asked the squirrel. They all nodded.
“Well, we’re far enough from the walls now, so do you think you could just pull up the carpet to get us there?” asked Balzac.
After Joe agreed and called up his metal magic carpet, they all hopped on, taking extra care of the enormous box holding all of the cards and game books they’d gotten from Ruul. They were saving those for when this whole mess was over.
Before heading southeast to the meeting site, Joe took them to the edge of the forest where Stubby usually waited on them. Stubby was indeed waiting when they got there, as were a few surprises.
“Squirrel?” asked the Plantlings cuddled up to the demon bear. Balzac face palmed.
“I’m here, what do you want?” asked the squirrel. He did not have fond memories of the humanoid plants. He really hoped they weren’t going to try to drag him off to be toilet paper for the Mo-Mo again.
“The Mo said wait for you,” replied one of them. “Had us looking for banditses,” stated another. “Found them! Found the banditses!” exclaimed a third. “The Mo will be happy!”
“Well, this changes things!” said Balzac happily. “Now we can go surprise them! We’ll have a better chance of taking them out!” The guys gave him looks of disgust.
“No way, fuzzy dude,” said Joe. Andrew nodded.
“We made a deal, Balzac. We said we’d meet them at a specific place and time. That’s what we’re gonna do,” said Ray. Balzac looked at them with his jaw open and his eyes wide.
“But, this would give us a huge advantage!” he protested. They shook their heads.
“Wouldn’t be right. We have to honor the deal,” stated Joe.
“THEY WOULDN’T! WE DON’T EVEN KNOW IF THEY ACCEPT THE DEAL!” argued Balzac.
“If they don’t show, we’ll go to them. Otherwise we play this straight,” said Ray. “It would be good to get some information on them before we fight though. Why don’t you go with the Plantlings and look around? Nobody will suspect a squirrel.”
“The last time I saw them, one of them threw me through a guitar. They know you all have a squirrel,” replied a very irritated Balzac.
“Yeah, but will they be able to tell you from all the other squirrels in the woods?” pointed out Andrew. Balzac knew when he was beaten and nodded.
“Fine. Are you dipshits waiting here for me, or do I need to find you at the meeting site?” he asked.
“I don’t know. Is it far to the bandit camp?” Ray asked the Plantlings.
“Not far! Not far!” they replied.
“We’ll wait. If you aren’t back by nightfall, we’re going on to the site. Do you want Stubby to go a little ways with you?” asked Andrew. Balzac considered it before shaking his head.
“No, I’m better off doing it alone. Like you said, they won’t be able to tell me apart from the other squirrels. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” With that, Balzac and the Plantlings disappeared into the forest.
“Clarence, I don’t know if you’re listening or if you can help, but please keep an eye on the little guy. We don’t want to lose him,” said Andrew quietly, gazing toward the sky. There was a soft rumble of thunder, as if agreeing to the request. Andrew smiled softly at that apparent reassurance, then let out a deep breath. “What now?” he asked.
“I guess we practice,” said Joe. “I’m not sure how though. Should we spar or something?”
“I dunno. I’m not sure if that’s what Balzac meant,” said Ray. “Maybe we should practice with our powers before we try to fight.”
Joe nodded in agreement.
“How am I supposed to know if I can cast spells?” asked Andrew. “I don’t even know where to begin.”
“What do priests do in-game?” asked Ray. “I’ve never played as one.” Neither of the others had either, so they were just as clueless.
“Pray, maybe?” suggested Joe.
Andrew shrugged and sat on the ground. “What are you gonna do?” he asked Ray.
“Play around with my air powers I guess. Maybe see if I can do anything else after a while. How about you?” Ray continued the questioning on to Joe.
“I don’t know,” Joe admitted. “I’m pretty good with my magnetism already. I guess I can try to see what else I can do with my power, too.” With that decided, Ray and Joe walked away so they c
ould practice in private.
Ray was wondering just what he could do with air. He’d already created an air-saw, and he knew he could create powerful gusts of wind to blow things away. What else was there?
What about an air-burst?, he thought to himself. With that thought firmly in his head, he went about trying it out. He placed his hands about a foot apart from each other and concentrated on creating a ball of air in between them. Before long, there was a small sphere of air swirling in his hands. He focused on concentrating it more and more. Soon the winds blew stronger and stronger, to the point where Ray was having a hard time holding it. After a few minutes, he lost control and it blew him across the clearing.
“Damn! That seems effective,” he said. “Now I just have to figure out how to use it without blowing myself away.”
A little more practice, and he was shooting orbs of dense air across the clearing, blowing up huge gouts of earth with every strike. “That’s awesome!” he yelled after yet another silent explosion. He sent another blast out, this one a little closer than he meant to. Huge rocks started to rain down on him, and he instinctively lifted his arms to protect himself. As if responding to his will, a shield of spinning air flowed from his upraised hands, neatly deflecting the falling earth. Okay, that’s even better, he thought.
Meanwhile, Joe was considering what he could with his own powers. “I’ve already figured out how to fly, throw metal around, and reshape it. What else is there?” he asked himself. He didn’t have a good answer. He sat there for a while, considering his options. “I could always use more metal,” he muttered to himself. “Maybe I can detect more?” He closed his eyes and stretched out his hands, focusing on feeling the metal around him. It was easy to find the metal he’d brought with him, so he continued to reach out further and further. He felt more metal in the ground nearby so he pulled it up to add to his collection. He felt out further and found a large concentration in the forest, but he refrained from trying to pull it to him. There was far too much. I bet that’s where the bandit camp is, he thought. He marked the position in his mind and continued searching. More metal in various places kept popping up on his mental radar, but he ended up leaving most of it alone. He noticed his mighty metal balls rotating around his body.
