"The watch belonged to my great grandfather, my grandfather, and then my dad," James says. "It's been in the family for a while. I brought it to a jeweler to put a new strap on it so that you could wear it."
"This is too much, James," I say, starting to put it back in the box.
"No," James says, stopping me.
“It’s your father’s.” I say. “I can’t take this. I can’t take something that belonged to him.”
“Please, Arya,” James says. “If I could give you the world, I would, but I can’t. I can only give you all of me. I want you to have this watch. It’s a piece of me I want you to have. I know he would have wanted you to have it.”
“James.”
“Here.” James takes the watch in his hands and clasps it around my left wrist. “Perfect.”
“You’re amazing,” I say. “You know that right?”
“I know.” James shrugs.
"Such a bugger," I say, looking at the watch, feeling it with my fingers.
"Too bad you're stuck with me," James says and then grabs me and pulls me close to him.
"No place I'd rather be," I say. "But I have a reason for inviting you inside."
“And that is?” James asks, still holding me. I pull myself away from him and grab a large brown paper bag from the counter and put it in front of him on the island in the kitchen. “What’s this?”
“I just had to confirm if those pretzel buns were as good as you said,” I say, and then pull one out of the paper bag. “And it did not disappoint.”
“You’re crazy,” James says. “How did you find it? How did you even get out there?”
“I have my ways.” I smile.
"You're the one who is amazing now," James says, looking in the bag that is filled with pretzel buns.
"I know," I say, and then James takes the pretzel bun out of my hand and takes a bite out of it. "Hey!"
James smiles at me and then we hear the front door open and Mia walks into the kitchen. “James!” Mia says excitedly.
“You are never this happy to see me,” I joke.
“Because I have to see you every day,” Mia says and then sticks her tongue out at me.
“Funny,” I say.
“Nice watch,” Mia comments with a smile.
“Thank you,” I say while touching the watch. “From a very thoughtful guy.” I kiss James on the cheek and then my phone rings. “It’s Mom and Dad,” I say, looking at the screen. “Better take this.” And then I walk out of the kitchen.
James
“Told you she’d love it,” Mia says.
“Thanks for your help,” I say. “I wanted it to be perfect for her.”
“I heard that your dad’s case is supposed to be settled next week,” Mia says.
“Yeah,” I say. I’m trying not to think about it.
“I think it will be good for all of you,” Mia says. “To finally be able to close the door on that night.”
“I’ll never forgive him,” I say. “I can’t.”
“And you don’t have to,” Mia says. “But maybe you should consider…”
“Stop, Mia,” I say.
“Forgiveness doesn’t mean what he did was right,” Mia says. “It means that your recovery is more important than harbouring anger towards someone.”
“Well can you forgive Henri?” I ask but immediately regret it. “No, Mia, I’m sorry…”
“No, it’s fine,” Mia says. “Henri raped me. He took advantage of me. He caused a trauma that I can never fully heal from. He did a terrible thing, and I don’t owe him anything. I don’t want to forgive him. I don’t want to give that to him. I never will. But the guy that took your father’s life ran a stop light. He made a mistake. A split-second mistake that he has to live with forever. If you don’t want to give him forgiveness, then that’s your choice. But think about if you were in his shoes. A mistake like that or something similar could happen to a lot of people. It shouldn’t be the defining moment of their life.”
I stare at Mia. She won’t forgive her rapist. Raping someone isn’t a mistake. Someone made a choice. Driving through a red light is a mistake. The other driver wasn’t texting or drinking. He made a mistake. He didn’t mean the destruction he caused.
“James?” Arya says, putting an arm on me when she walks back into the kitchen. “Everything okay?”
I look at her and then at Mia and then back at Arya. “Can you forgive someone that is responsible for taking away someone you loved?”
“Oh, James.” Arya puts her hands to my neck, and I grab her waist. I don’t see it, but I hear Mia leave the kitchen.
“He took him away, Arya,” I say, and I feel myself holding back tears.
“I know, James,” Arya says.
“How can I forgive him?” I ask. “How can I forgive the person that took away the most important person in my life?”
“James,” Arya says. “You don’t have to forgive him. But just think for a moment about what your dad would want. Would he want you to still be angry about this? Do you think he wants this for you?”
“Arya.”
“Do you think that if you forgive him that it means you love your dad any less? That you have somehow let him down?” Arya says. “Because it doesn’t, James.”
I stare at her. “No, I know,” I say quietly. Arya puts her hands to my cheeks and rubs away the tears that had just stared to form and I pull her in closer to me.
“I think it’s time to close the door on that night, James,” Arya says.
***
“He took a year off work,” the lawyer says as the man responsible for the worst tragedy in my life walks into the courthouse. “Couldn’t deal with the fact that he had killed someone.” I have to do this. “James!” I ignore the voices behind me as I walk towards the man I have spent the past two years hating.
When I stand in front of him, I don’t know what to say. He’s not how I pictured him. He’s young. Probably in his late twenties. He looks like a man that has put too much stress on himself. He’s nervous. Unsettled. And then he looks at me and we just stare at each other for a moment. “You’re his son,” he says, and I nod. He looks away for a moment as if to compose himself and then back at me. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never meant for it to happen like this. I haven’t forgiven myself for it. It’s the worst mistake I’ve ever made. I don’t think I’ll ever come to terms with it.” He’s rambling. “I’ll never forgive myself.”
“But I do,” I say, the words coming out faster than I could think them.
“What?”
“I forgive you,” I say. I had planned what I was going to say to him when I first met him, but now all those words are out the window. “I know you never meant for this to happen. I want to let go of that night. My dad wouldn’t want people to suffer. Not on his account. So, I’m choosing to forgive. It’s what my dad would have wanted.”
“I’m so sorry,” he says again, and I see the tears forming in his eyes. He’s truly sorry and he didn’t expect forgiveness from a 16-year-old teenager today.
“I know,” I say.
***
“Arya?” I call as I get out of the car. She’s sitting on my doorstep. She gets up and comes up to me as a I close the car door. “Shouldn’t you be at school?”
“You wouldn’t let me come,” Arya says. “But I know it’s been a big day for you, and I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“The case is settled,” I say. “Enough money that I don’t have to worry about my mom or sisters, even when I’m gone.”
“And how are you feeling?” Arya asks.
“I met him,” I say. “And then I forgave him.”
Arya nods. “That must have been difficult.”
“It was easier than I thought,” I say. “That night messed him up. He needed my forgiveness as much as I needed to give it.”
“I’m proud of you, James,” Arya says. “Forgiving him is no small thing.”
I grab her neck just at her jawline. �
��Thank you for never giving up on me.”
She smiles. “Never letting you get away again. You can’t escape me even if you try.” And then she kisses me.
Chapter 61 – The Best
“You're simply the best / Better than all the rest / Better than anyone” – The Best, Tina Turner
Four Months Later
Arya
"Hush, hush," Diana says to Teddy and me. We are sitting in the first assembly of the new school year. Our Grade 12 year. I look and see James sitting next to Malcolm a couple of rows ahead of me. It was the best summer you could have asked for. James and I spent as much together as we could. We spent time with each of our families, all of our friends, and I was sad when it was over. But now it's time for a new school year, our last year. And I have the best friends and boyfriend you could ask for going into it. I had a good feeling about this year.
Mia is doing great. She loves the life she has created at East Side, the friends she has made. It wasn’t easy. Life never is, but she is strong, and with the right help she is in a much better place. Some scars will never heal, but if you see scars as strength, rather than weakness, you can accomplish more than what you can ever imagine. There are a lot of people that have been through terrible things. We can’t let the trauma be the end of our story, just a chapter in it. I took Ms. Sinistra, the principal, up on her offer from when I was sent to her office.
***
Four Months Earlier
“Arya,” Ms. Sinistra says as I walk into her office. “What can I help you with?”
"I want to ask for help with the situation I'm in," I say.
“Of course,” Ms. Sinistra says, pointing to the chairs for me to sit.
I wave at the door and Mia comes in behind me and we both sit down.
“What do you need?” Ms. Sinistra asks kindly.
I look at Mia, waiting for her to speak. “I think I need help,” Mia says.
“What kind of help?” Ms. Sinistra asks.
"Someone to talk to," Mia says.
“Of course, Mia,” Ms. Sinistra says. “It’d be a pleasure.”
***
Sometimes all we need is someone to talk to, someone who is outside of the situation completely. Mia was lucky to find a therapist she got along with so well. She’s better now. Not the same as she was before Henri, but she never will be because she’s no longer that person.
"They're announcing our grade now!" Diana whispers to me. This assembly also announces the top three top students from last year. Diana is anxiously waiting to hear the names called. She and Lincoln never tell each other their final grades, wanting to keep it a surprise for the assembly to see who the top student will be. "This is where I beat Lincoln to the ground," Diana whispers. "I can't wait to see his face when I win." I am curious as well, so I listen as the principal calls out the names, starting with third place.
"And for Grade 11," Ms. Sinistra says into the microphone, "with the third-highest average…" Ms. Sinistra looks down. "Malcolm X."
"What?!" everyone says around me, including me. Diana is the most outraged.
“How?!” Diana says.
Malcolm stands up while his three friends stand up and cheer the loudest, accepting his plaque on stage and giving the principal a handshake.
“He’s smart?” Diana says confused. “Since when?”
"Hush," I say to her.
"With the second-highest average…" Ms. Sinistra says, "there are two recipients. Lisa Bathory and Lincoln Abraham."
“Ha!” Diana says beside me. “Only one spot left.”
“And finally, with the highest average…” Ms. Sinistra says, “Diana Warrior.”
Diana screams so loud next to me that I'll have to check she didn't damage my eardrum.
When we get out of the assembly, I see Malcolm and James. "Congrats!" I say to Malcolm. "Definitely didn't expect to see you up on that stage."
"Malcolm keeps his grades to himself," James says. "He might even steal Diana's spot if he applied himself and did all his homework."
“Unnecessary,” Malcolm says. “It takes up too much of my time.”
“I’m still impressed,” I say. “I guess you were always fourth place the past years, so no one knew about that big brain in there.”
“I told you I was smarter than all my friends combined.” Malcolm winks at me.
"Funny," James says.
"At least I've never electrocuted myself," Malcolm says to James.
“Don’t you have somewhere you need to be right now?” James says, raising an eyebrow.
Malcolm looks between the two of us. “Don’t worry,” he says, “I can take a hint.” And then Malcolm walks away.
"I didn't see that coming," I tell James.
"He's one of those people you hate because he gets 100% on all his tests without even trying," James says.
“I guess I know who to ask to be my lab partner in physics then,” I say, looking over James’ shoulder.
“Hey!” James says. “I thought we were supposed to be partners.”
"Surprised you don't choose him over me," I say.
"I would never choose anyone over you," James says. I raise an eyebrow at him. "Okay, maybe my mom on occasion, but that hasn't happened in a long time."
“I’m only joking, James,” I say. “It’s not a competition.”
And just then, Lisa walks by in deep conversation with a guy I have never seen before. She doesn’t even acknowledge us.
“Who’s that?” I ask James and he turns his head to follow them.
"Alan Turing," James says, looking back at me. "He's a 12X. He's a good guy. Very much a science geek. I guess that's something they have in common."
“Did you ever talk to her?” I ask James, realizing he never told me if he did or not. Lisa stopped bothering both of us, so I never thought to bring it up again.
“I tried,” James says. “But she seemed already consumed by Alan and it looks like they are still together.”
I look over and see Alan and Lisa together. She seems happy for once and he's looking at her like she is the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. "I'm glad she found someone," I say and then Lisa looks over in my direction. She smiles and then winks at me before she turns away with Alan.
“Is that Rachel?” James says over my shoulder. I turn to look and see James’ little sister talking to some boy. “You’ve got to be kidding me. It’s only the first day.”
“Settle down, James,” I say, putting a hand to his forearm. “There’s no need to go all crazy older brother on him already.”
"Too late," James says and starts walking over to them. I laugh. Poor Rachel. I guess I will have to help her out if she wants any type of relationship while her older brother is at this school. James will have to accept that his sister will date and that freaking out on some guy is not a good option. I'm proof of that. Hopefully, she can realize that his protective nature comes from a loving place and how lucky she is to have a brother like James in her life.
Because I know I am beyond lucky to have James in my life.
Epilogue – Remind Me to Forget
“Baby, it hit so hard, I'm holding on to my chest / Maybe you left your mark, reminding me to forget / It doesn't matter where you are, you can keep my regret / 'Cause baby, I got these scars, reminding me to forget” – Remind me to Forget, Kygo
One Year and Four Months Later
Arya
"I like this dress, Arya," James says as we put our winter coats on to step out on the porch. I look down at the green dress that is my favourite. The dark memory that this dress holds doesn't haunt me anymore because the person that caused them was held responsible for his actions. While not charged, he was driven out by a whole town turning against him. "Looks expensive."
“It is,” I say. We step out onto the porch to say goodbye.
"It was nice of your family to have me over for dinner tonight," James says to me on the porch. It's snowing outside, perfect weather for the Christmas season.
James and I just got back from our university exams to spend the Christmas holidays at home. We both are at the University of British Columbia (UBC). James is doing a degree in Mechanical Engineering, while I am doing a degree in Biomedical Engineering. It was a busy first semester, with lots of work and a lot of soccer, but we still have remained together through it all. School will get easier as the terms go, they say. Hopefully that's true. James was a bit nervous about being so far away from his family, but UBC was always where he wanted to go and it's where both of us got a soccer scholarship. It only made sense for both of us to go there. All our friends are slowly coming back into town as well. It'll be great to see everyone and how they have been since we parted at the end of summer.
Diana went to MIT to do a combined Chemistry and Biology degree; Lincoln went to the University of Amsterdam for Archeology; Teddy went to Dalhousie University for Marine Biology; Eleanor went off to travel the world with just a backpack and her passport; George went to Algonquin College to become an Aircraft Mechanic; Sarah went to Queen's University for Fine Arts; Samson went to McGill for a Bachelor of Science; Richard is working at his dad's restaurant to save up some more money before he decides what to do; and Malcolm went to Loyalist College to become a Survey Technician. Malcolm could go to any school he wanted and do whatever career he wanted, but he chose to do a hands-on job that is out in the field.
Oh, and if you’d like to know, Lisa went to the California Institute of Learning to do a Chemistry Major. Even though I don’t know for sure, I am certain that Alan followed her out there. The pretty popular girl and the science geek make a good combination, especially since she’s a science geek as well. Lexi is in the States as well on a hockey scholarship at Boston University. We don’t talk much anymore, which is not surprising, but I know we are both happy for each other.
"You know that you are always welcome here," I say to James.
"My mom wants you to come over tomorrow night," James says.
“Happily.” I smile and kiss his lips.
"I think she's more excited to see you than me," James says.
East Side Academy Page 42
