by Maya Hughes
All His Regrets
Maya Hughes
Copyright © 2019 by Maya Hughes
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Cover: Najla Qamber, Qamber Designs
Contents
Foreword
1. Frankie - Now
2. Grim - Then
3. Frankie - Then
4. Grim - Then
5. Frankie - Then
6. Frankie - Now
7. John - Now
8. Frankie - Now
9. John - Now
10. Frankie - Now
11. John - Now
12. Frankie - Now
13. John - Now
14. Frankie - Now
15. John - Now
16. Frankie - Then
17. John - Then
18. Frankie - Now
19. John - Now
20. Frankie - Now
21. John - Now
22. Frankie - Now
23. John - Now
24. Frankie - Now
25. John - Now
26. Frankie - Now
27. John - Now
28. Frankie - Now
29. John - Now
30. Frankie - Now
31. John - Now
32. Frankie - Now
33. Frankie
Excerpt from ALL HIS LIES
Epilogue
Also by Maya Hughes
Connect with Maya
Foreword
"I don't forgive people because I'm weak, I forgive them because I am strong enough to know people make mistakes. – Marilyn Monroe
1
Frankie - Now
I checked the tests for the fifth time in five minutes, all fifteen of them. Really? Not even one giving me a little hope that maybe it was a mistake? They all blared big, loud, unmistakable smiley faces, plus signs, double lines, PREGNANT. That was it. I tried to get my breathing under control, but it wasn't working. How in the hell did that happen? I mean, I know how it happened, but really?
I sat perched on my bathtub, running my hands through my hair and down over my face. The tapping of my nails along the porcelain bathtub and my thundering heartbeat were the only sounds in the room. One night. One crazy night where I let my guard down and got a little tipsy, and then this. The first time I let my guard down, and then bam, knocked up. Of course, this would happen to me. Like a cosmic joke.
I grabbed my phone from the counter, my hands trembling.
Me: Sash, I'm pregnant
Sasha: Holy shit! Seriously?!
Me: Yes
Sasha: Good job, way to work your way through every high school cliché and you've been out for almost a decade.
Me: I hate you
Sasha: How are you doing?
Me: I'm freaking out.
Sasha: It's John's, right?
Me: Yes, it's John's. How many guys do you think I'm sleeping with?
Sasha: I don't know, just checking...
Me: You're no help. I'm sorry I even said anything.
Sasha: I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, and you know I'll be there if you need anything.
Me: A time machine?
Sasha: All out of the plutonium I need to run mine...
Me: What do I do now?
Sasha: Have John's baby?
Me: FUCK
2
Grim - Then
My palms were so damn sweaty. It was a wonder I could keep a grip on a football at all, but out on the field I was never that nervous. On the field, I could run for days, and it never got any less exciting. This was a completely different animal.
My Adam's apple bobbed up and down, and my throat tightened.
'Hey, Grim,' 'great game,' 'nice catch' comments are thrown my way, but I keep walking down the hall. People moved out of my way. Maybe they could sense I wasn’t in the mood for a rehash of last night’s game.
She was right there. Killian's back was to me, and he left when I was only steps away. Perfect timing. He'd kill me if he knew I was doing this. Killian acted like he hadn't slept his way through half the cheerleaders in the school. He didn’t seem to care about keeping his head down to keep his scholarship, like I did. I wasn’t going to screw around and mess things up for a girl, not just any girl anyway. Those other girls were fine, but they weren't her.
She slammed her locker closed, and I rushed those last few steps, my sneakers screeching on the tile floor.
"Hey, Frankie," I said, trying my best to keep my voice even.
"Hey, Grim." She had her hair in a long braid over her shoulder. The smile she gave me made me feel like I'd just gotten my first interception of the game. The books in her arms wobbled and I grabbed the stack. "I've got them." She reached for them, but I held them back.
"It's fine. I've got them. I'm heading this way. I can walk you to class." The flow of students moved around us so we were like two pebbles in a river as I walked toward her classroom. We were in our own little world, surrounded by everyone else.
"Cool, thanks!" She adjusted her bag on her shoulder and fell in step beside me. I glanced over at her t-shirt. It was covered in another cast of anime characters I'd never seen before. Her wardrobe must have been exclusively anime and comic book characters because I'd never seen her in anything else. “What did you end up getting for your half of the project?”
“An A, which I have to say is because of you.”
“No, it’s not. You did a great job. I mean what is up with Health class having a project anyway? I definitely learned way more about herpes than I ever wanted, but I’m glad we both got good grades.” She blushed and fiddled with the straps of her bag. Researching the background and spread of herpes was only something I looked forward to because I got to spend a few days every week, hanging out with Frankie.
She’d mainly been Killian’s friend, and we’d seen each other, but we’d never had a lot of time to talk. Never spent hours together huddled in the library trying to gross one another out. She was different. Not like a lot of the other girls in the school. I liked that.
We moved through the halls in silence. Locker doors slammed shut and people high-fived me along the way. I struggled to find the words. The science wing was up ahead. Now or never. I took a deep breath as we got closer to her classroom door. Advanced Placement physics.
"Would you want to go to the Ancients’ dance with me? If you don't already have a date." I rushed out in one breath, hedging, so I didn’t make myself sound like a moron. She bounced on the balls of her feet, nearly eye level with me. I could look her in the eye without ducking my head. I liked that. I knew when I kissed her, I wouldn't get a cramp in my neck. And I couldn't wait to see how she tasted.
"Sure. That would be great." I let out a breath and my cheeks hurt from smiling. "I can meet you and Kill there. What time were you thinking?" My smile faltered. She thought this was a group thing.
"No, not me and Kill. Just me and you." Her eyebrows furrowed and maybe this was a mistake.
"Oh...OH! Like a date?" Her eyes widened and her cheeks pinked up. She ducked her head, tugging on her t-shirt. Suddenly, her sneakers were the most interesting thing in the hall as she rocked back on her heels and tapped the toes together. I liked that I could do that to her. Get her a little flustered. She peeked up at me and smiled before glancing away again. I clenched my hands at my side to keep from wrapping my fist around her braid and kissing her right then and there.
"Like a date." I tipped her chin up wit
h my finger and caught her eye. The end zone in view, my heart hammered while I waited for the pass.
"Sure, Grim. I'd like that a lot. Thanks for asking." Touchdown!
"I'll pick you up at seven."
"I'll see you at seven for the dance," she parroted back. She peered over at me as I backed up down the hall, and she stepped into the doorway of her class. I spun to head to the other side of the building to my next class. I'd have to hustle before the bell.
"Uh, Grim?" she called after me.
I whipped back around. "Yeah?"
"I'm going to need my books," she said, chuckling. I glanced down. My arm was still wrapped around her books.
"Sorry, here you go." I handed them off and slunk back down the hall. Real smooth...
The rest of the week crawled by. The only time my mind didn't wander to Frankie was during the game at the end of the week. We crushed the other team. Sent them home with their tails between their legs. She texted me her address. After fifteen tries and what seemed like thirty YouTube videos, I finally got my tie done. My anxiety skyrocketed as I drove down her street.
The houses that lined the street all had names on them on big brass plates affixed to tall brick columns outside the high wrought-iron fences that surrounded them. Osborne House. Great Wrigley. Hunting Hill. The elevated circular driveways could barely be seen from the street with the massive gates that wrapped around the whole property. I knew she wasn't a scholarship kid, but this was another level. There wasn't anyone walking on the street, or I'm sure my knocking engine would have gotten a few looks.
I triple-checked the map on my phone and pulled up to what had to be the biggest house on the street. I rolled my window down, cranking the handle, leaned out and hit the intercom button on the small box at the gate. A bead of sweat trickled down my back.
"Yes?" The voice reminded me of something out of a movie. A butler or something. English. Snooty.
"I'm here for Frankie." Please let this be the right place. Actually, scratch that. Please let this be the wrong place. Maybe she was one of the maid's kids. Lived on the property. Watered the lawn?
"And who may--" The voice cut out.
"Come on in, Grim. I'll be right out," she said, out of breath.
The gate swung open, and I drove my car up the driveway, the engine growling the whole way. I drove past an open garage with at least eight cars in it. Cars I never thought I'd see in person, let alone know anyone who owned them.
Never had I been more embarrassed by my hunk of junk. I grabbed my jacket off the passenger seat and hopped out of the car, buttoning it as I climbed the steps to the front door. Before I could even lift my hand, the door swung open.
"Hey, Grim, you ready to go?" Frankie said, grabbing for the door handle behind her. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I'd never seen her like this before. Even in her overalls and anime t-shirts she was beautiful. In her normal clothes, she was warm summer days and lying out in a field full of flowers. Peaceful, tranquil and fun. But this was something else.
The lavender, strapless dress hugged curves I thought were hiding under everything she wore, but hadn't ever let myself imagine. The top of the dress showed off cleavage that would be the envy of any girl tonight. There was a sparkly bit around her waist that made me want to wrap my hands around it. Her hair was down, wavy and flowing over her shoulders.
I'd never seen her with her hair down. It was always tied up in a ponytail, braid or a messy bun with pencils sticking out of it. Earrings sparkled and shined in her ears, catching the light from the veranda. The short, flowing skirt did nothing to hide her amazing legs. And heels. Heels that made her almost the same height as me. I couldn't wait to take her out on the dance floor.
Her smile would have lit up any room. I couldn't take my eyes off her. Before she could close the door, what seemed like a whole house-load of people came pouring out of the door with phones and cameras. And there was an actual photographer. I blanched, expecting a grilling session as her three brothers and dad stepped outside.
"You must be Grim, we've heard so much about you," her dad said like a much taller, buffer version of Mr. Rogers. "Thanks so much for taking Frankie out. We didn't think she'd ever peel herself away from the computer for a dance." He smiled and pumped my hand up and down like I was doing them a favor by taking her out.
"Dad," Frankie ground out through her teeth. I bit back a laugh. I liked them already.
"Pictures. Pictures, who knows the next time you'll be in a dress, young lady," her mom said. At least I thought it was her mom. She could have been her sister from the look of her. They had the same light brown hair and dark brown, almond-shaped eyes.
"Fine, Mom. You get exactly six minutes for pictures." Frankie pulled her phone out, set a timer and slid it into the pocket inside my suit jacket. Her fingers grazed my chest through my shirt and she winked at me. Fuck! I locked my hands in front of my crotch and started thinking of everything in the world to keep things under control. Getting a boner in front of her whole family was not how I wanted to start this evening off.
Six minutes to the second, I escorted Frankie down the steps to my car. As if parking it in the school parking lot day in and day out didn't make me feel shitty enough about this clunker, escorting her to it, made embarrassment crawl in my stomach. She deserved so much better than this.
"Cool car," she said, beaming at me. We hadn't hung out much outside of school, and I always stayed late for football practice, so she'd never seen it before.
"Thanks," I grumbled, closing the door once she sat down. She waved to her family, all standing at the top of the steps. Her brothers were wrestling beside her parents, but they all waved back.
My engine rocked and rumbled as I drove back down the elevated driveway. If she cared, she didn't show it. While I drove, all she could talk about was some new sci-fi show she was watching. Like Doctor Who, but not. That was about the only thing I understood. I tried to keep up with her, but she was speaking a mile a minute. Whatever the show was, I wanted to hear more. Her passion for it came shining through. I don't think I'd ever been as excited about anything, other than football, in my life.
"And you've got to understand that it's all about the exploration and improvement of interspecies relationships. It is such an interesting look into what society could achieve in only a couple centuries." She peered over at me. "Grim?"
"Yeah?"
"The light's green," she said, pointing out the windshield. I glanced up and threw the car into drive, cars behind us honking. She kept right on talking, and there were a couple more lights where she had to tap my arm to get my attention to the green light in front of us. Her touch sent the simmer of desire for her even higher.
Tonight was going to change everything.
3
Frankie - Then
I couldn't believe what a production my parents made about this dance. I had to tell my mom, I didn't think a diamond choker was appropriate for a school dance. The fact that she might never see me in a dress again was repeated throughout the afternoon as she helped me get ready. With the promise that I would wear a dress to at least one other event in my lifetime, she relented and let me leave without every gem known to man draped across my body.
It seemed she’d forgotten about the last time I was in a dress. I wish I could have forgotten it. The entire time she helped me get ready, I had to keep talking myself down off the ledge. This would not be like the last time. This would be fine. Grim was a great guy. He didn’t even hang with my old middle-school classmates. But I couldn’t help but replay the similarities of this dance to my last in my mind. Hot popular guy asks me to the dance out of the blue.
"You're quiet tonight," I said, glancing over at Grim. I clamped my hands together to keep myself from fidgeting. The urge to tell him to turn around, so I could go get my hoodie nearly overwhelmed me. I was so exposed. So much skin. If this went sideways, I at least wanted to feel like myself. Talking was the only thing to calm my nerves. Would they all s
tart laughing again? Tell me it was all a big joke, and he’d been put up to it? Would they pay him, like they’d paid my last date? Who was still traumatized by something that happened when they were twelve? I was being stupid. This would be a perfectly wonderful evening.
We arrived at the hotel, and Grim checked for a good place to park. I spotted a flower in a plastic container in the back seat.
"Is that for me?" I asked, jabbing my thumb toward the back seat. He glanced over his shoulder before reaching into the back seat. The car lurched forward in the parking spot and he cursed.
I grabbed the emergency brake, and he threw the car into park.
"Thanks," he said, grabbing the container and popping the lid off. The small bunch of purple flowers matched my dress and his tie. He took it out and slid it onto my wrist. I admired the orchid, rose, and pansies as Grim ran around the car to get my door. Such a gentleman, I smiled to myself.
I waited for the door to open as he tugged on the handle, but nothing happened as he pulled on it. I checked to make sure it wasn't locked inside.
"Shit. Can you lean against it?" he asked through the closed door.
"What?" I said, trying to figure out what he meant.
"Push your shoulder against the door. It gets stuck sometimes." I leaned against it as he wrenched the handle, and the door flung open. I tumbled out and braced myself for a nice hard smack from the ground, when Grim's arms wrapped around me, catching me. I flung my hair out of my face and peeked up at him.
