Donuts and Handcuffs

by Haley Travis

  That made me feel a bit unsettled. I couldn’t help wondering how bad her ex-boyfriend really was. I knew that I was paranoid, with my family history. It was something that instantly made my entire frame rigid with rage.

  I had always had a powerful sense of right and wrong, and lifting a hand to a woman was so wrong that the thought of it nearly rendered me blind with fury.

  There was no way I could discuss it with Bailey since she obviously didn’t want to talk about it. And I had to wonder if I made her nervous in any way. I was a pretty big guy, with a deep, somewhat booming voice. I could only hope that she knew me well enough to know that I was not aggressive. There was no way on this earth I would ever be aggressive with her.

  I almost wished that it was something else. Anything else. Some other reason why she had so much security, and was so jumpy, with no record of her existence. But it was the only reason that fit.

  I guess all I could do was be there for her, and help her to feel safe. It had to give her comfort to be close to a police officer. If her ex, or any of his friends, came stalking around, they would think twice if they saw a police presence.

  No wonder she had extra locks on the door. No wonder she had such a fear of needles. Maybe she had spent too much time in the hospital because of him.

  Shutting my computer down, I had to clear my mind. The best thing for her would likely be calm, wholesome evenings together. Something stable, to let her see that I am the sort of guy she can depend on.

  When I arrived at Bailey’s apartment with a pizza box and a bottle of wine, her sweet, twinkling eyes warmed my heart straight through. This finally felt like a date. I knew that I should take her out to a proper dinner soon, and I would, but I felt like she should still be resting at home as much as possible.

  The deep need to wrap her in a blanket of protection was not new to me. I was a protector and defender at heart, but I’d never had feelings this extreme. It seemed to come from a deep, wordless place inside me. I could only hope that I didn’t scare her away.

  “Daniel,” she smiled sweetly. “Come on in.”

  I followed her up the stairs, placing the pizza on her dining room table. She waved to her desk in the corner, covered with all sorts of pretty stationery. “There is the drive,” she said, gesturing to a slim blue rectangle.

  Glancing at her mini-office area, I took in the colored pens, chunky recycled paper envelopes, and thick, well-worn notebook with a duck on the cover. Everything was bright, almost playful.

  “I know,” she laughed. “I really don’t like paperwork, so I try to make it fun with markers, stickers and neat papers.”

  In moments she had plates, napkins, and glasses, while I uncorked the bottle. She poured half a glass of wine for herself, and a full glass for me. “I’m half your size, so I should drink half as much.”

  “I’ll leave the resident cook in charge of portion control,” I chuckled.

  As we sat down and I served the slices, a strange expression flickered over her face. “What is it?” I asked. “This is the kind you asked for, right?”

  She noted, giving her head a shake. “Sorry. I don’t mean to be weird. I just realized that I’d never had anyone but you as a guest here, and I haven’t had dinner with anyone since I moved here.” Her eyes grew wide as if she had said something she shouldn’t have, and she quickly added, “How was your day?”

  I placed a hand on hers on the table. “Thank you for letting me into your space,” I said gently. I hoped that she would realize everything I meant by that. “My day was pretty good. As always, people in the city have no idea how parking signs work. Honestly, you would think they were printed in ancient Sanskrit or something.”

  Bailey laughed, then had a tiny sip of wine. “That’s one of the many reasons I don’t bother having a car.”

  “It’s really expensive,” I agreed, “And if you don’t need one, why bother?”

  She nodded. “I have most of my supplies delivered, and the few times I’ve needed to carry something heavy home, I just grab a taxi. Two cabs a month is a lot cheaper than owning a car.”

  “I don’t like driving in the city,” I said, “But I rarely get a chance to go on a road trip. There’s nothing like a long country drive in the summer.”

  Bailey’s eyes became dreamy as she stared down at her dinner. “You know, that’s one of the things I’ve seen in movies dozens of times, but I’ve never actually done.”

  “Wow, really?” She nodded. “Well then, let’s put that on our list of things to do some time,” I smiled.

  She nodded again but didn’t comment further. Maybe she was leery of planning things too far in the future.

  “Thanks again for that footage,” I said. “We really hope that the fire wasn’t arson, but everything about it is just so suspicious.”

  “It must be tricky having to rely so much on your gut reactions for your work,” she said quietly.

  I shrugged, chewing thoughtfully for a second. “It’s probably just a matter of experience. You’ve probably adapted your recipes because you just know how things usually turn out. We keep an eye on things that we know looked a bit sketchy last time, and we learn and adapt as we go. Everyone probably does.”

  We finished our meal, then Bailey made chocolate coffee with a drop of Irish cream, and we settled on the couch.

  “How is your arm feeling?” I asked.

  Her nose crinkled adorably. “It’s mostly okay, as long as I don’t think about it. But I have to think about it to remember not to use it. I guess it’s more annoying and inconvenient than anything else.”

  “Does it still hurt?” I asked.

  “Not much. I take a painkiller only when I know I’m going to be moving around for the next few hours. Knowing that there are stitches through my skin is completely disgusting, so I’m sort of trying to imagine that my arm is no longer part of my body for the time being.”

  I laughed, leaning in to wrapping an arm around her. “You have a very unique way of thinking, sometimes,” I said softly.

  She was very still for a moment, as her eyes looked up to me. Then she took a deep breath before snuggling into my shoulder.

  “Bailey,” I said gently, “You seem a little timid around me. I want you to know, I have no expectations. I just really like you, and I want to be near you. Is that okay?”

  Her huge, pretty eyes looked up at me with an expression of absolute relief. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I don’t know what I’m ready for, yet. And I don’t know how to sort a lot of things out. But being close to you feels so… Grounding?” She smirked. “I hope that sounds like a good thing?”

  I laughed, wrapping both arms around her and pulling her toward me. “You can say anything you like about me. They say that physical touch is grounding. And if you’ve been alone for a while, maybe you need some quality snuggling time. I know that I do.”

  She grinned, those luscious lips so close to mine. “I like that a huge tough guy admits that he needs cuddles too.”

  “Please don’t tell my captain,” I said, trying to appear serious and failing terribly.

  Bailey stretched up to kiss me, and the entire world melted away. Her lips gliding gently across mine sent a shockwave of lust through every part of me, but it was so much more than that. I could feel her yearning. Her craving for closeness.

  I shifted, lying back so that she was almost on top of me. I wanted her to feel like she had all of the control. Our kisses became deeper, scorching hot as she moved over me. Her fingertips nestled at the back of my neck, swirling gently in little circles across my skin, sending delicate shivers through me.

  It felt like time stopped. I had no idea how long we softly moved together, kissing and caressing. Exploring and surrendering.

  My hand skimmed along her spine, then gently cupped her firm round ass as I pulled her against me tighter. A tiny moan escaped her lips, and I breathed it in, relieved that she was opening up to me.

  Makeouts were usually a stepping stone to
something else. But I could feel that she might not be ready. So I didn’t make a move beyond caressing her entire back, her shoulders, almost moaning as she parted her lips for my tongue.

  When she finally, reluctantly pulled away, she looked at me as if she were almost stunned. “I can’t believe how you kiss me,” she whispered, suddenly appearing shy.

  “I’ve never needed to kiss anyone like this,” I admitted. “Bailey, I am developing warm, squishy feelings for you. If you want to hear about them, just let me know. But I’ll keep a lid on them for now if you like.”

  The room echoed with her laughter. Then she brought her lips to my ear. “I think I have them too. But…” she paused, tucking her head into my shoulder.

  “Shh, it’s okay. We have all the time in the world.”

  She lifted her head to look at me. “Thank you for being so patient with me. And not prying.”

  I stroked her hair, kissing her cheek. “The only thing I want is for you to be happy and comfortable. Okay?”

  She kissed me again, so lightly, almost teasing. “I’m actually shocked how comfortable I am around you.”

  “I know I’m a big guy,” I whispered, “But I’m just an oversized teddy bear at heart.” I grinned. “You likely don’t remember me telling you that before in the hospital.”

  Bailey looked into my eyes intently. Then she nodded, sitting up. “Sorry, I must be getting heavy.”

  “Not at all,” I chuckled.

  We snuggled for quite a while before I realized the time. “Hey,” I murmured softly against her ear. “You’re still healing, so you likely need extra sleep. I’m going to leave now.”

  Her big blue eyes locked on mine. “Thanks for dinner,” she said gently.

  I wanted to stay so that she could sleep with my arms around her, knowing that she was completely safe and warm. Yet I knew that it would be too damn easy to let my hands wander more than they should. She was so shy and timid about some things that I was worried I’d make her uncomfortable.

  Kissing her softly, I walked back down the stairs with her on my heels. “I’ll see you soon,” I said, watching her delicate face in the shadows as she nodded, with the sweetest little smile. As soon as the door closed behind me, I heard the swish and click of solid locks. I hoped that she’d tell me someday why she was so diligent with her security. I also hoped that someday she’d feel safe with a regular lock, while sleeping beside a cop.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  The next day, I was delighted to see a text from Daniel, just wishing me a good morning. It was so sweet that I could have cried. He was such a decent man. I’d never felt this torn in two in my life. Even when I knew I would have to disappear, it was a decision that had crept up on me for over several months.

  The decision to truly let Daniel into my life was almost as frightening. It wouldn’t be right to lead him on, and he didn’t seem like a one night stand kind of guy. The feelings I had for him were already overwhelming me completely.

  But there was no way I could jeopardize his career. Strangely, that came to mind before thinking of my own situation. I couldn’t let him know who I really was, or the things I used to be close to. Could he accept that all I could tell him of my life was from a year ago and onward?

  He seemed to imply that he thought I was coming out of a terrible relationship, which was true, sort of. My ex never hit me, or anything like that. He was pretty controlling, with an aggressive tone of voice, but he never raised a hand. Our relationship was like a dull headache – it wore me down over time, and was ultimately unhealthy.

  At first, Daniel’s size was a little intimidating, since I’d accidentally met some of my father’s friends who were huge, obviously violent brutes. But Daniel was so gentle, and so careful with me, that I knew he would never harm me. This made the thought of hurting him completely unbearable.

  Even though I wanted nothing more than to disappear into his arms for the rest of my life, I had to think things through. I couldn’t let there be any reason at all for him to look into my past. How could I open myself enough to love someone if I constantly had to have my guard up?

  It wasn’t right. I’d sort of resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn’t date again for years, if ever. Yet here was Daniel, so sweet and wholesome. So positively delicious in every way. It wasn’t just the incredible physical craving, although that would almost be enough in itself. He obviously cared for me. Even when he was being a little pushy, I could see that he was only trying to help.

  I knew that I should drive him away, but I couldn’t. Every time he held me, I felt completely, totally safe for the first time in my life.

  Just thinking about the way Daniel kissed me caused a wave of flutters through every inch of my skin. I’ve never known anyone to be so devastatingly sexy while being impossibly gentle.

  I spent the morning getting as much work done as possible. Although my arm was healing, the tension on the stitches felt positively creepy if I moved it too much, so I was still extremely careful. I didn’t want there to be any reason a doctor would need to add more stitches.

  Everyone continued to be extremely understanding as soon as they saw my bandage and scarf-sling. I was grateful to be among such mellow people.

  It was always fascinating to me to listen in on the conversations of the customers who came into my shop. The most popular topics were always the weather, what they were going to do later that day, and what they were thinking of buying as they came toward the counter.

  But this morning I overheard two of the neighborhood women discussing a fire.

  “Are you talking about the fire at the old Carter building?” I asked. “I heard that they were still investigating that.”

  The two women shook their heads. The taller one with nearly black hair said, “There was another fire last night. At the corner of Ferris and Plaxton.”

  “Do you know that little beige apartment building?” the other woman asked. “The ugly five-story one?”

  “Yeah,” I said, thinking. “I think that’s where Mrs. Williams lives.”

  The taller woman nodded. “That’s the one. An empty apartment on the top floor caught fire last night, and they had to evacuate the building.”

  “Do they have any idea yet what started it?” I asked.

  She shrugged. “It’s an old building. It could just be bad wiring. Or teenagers on the roof throwing cigarettes. Who knows?” The women picked up their order of seven-grain bread, smiled politely and left.

  I felt the prickle at the back of my neck. That strange, inner radar that screamed that something was off. Setting it aside for the moment, I put on another pot of coffee and took muffins out of the oven, my left arm strong enough to take a third of the weight, so I could balance properly.

  Rushing to the front when I heard the bell, I was delighted to see Daniel. Just watching him walk in the door filled me with a sense of soothing warmth. “Hello, Officer. Another lovely day in the neighborhood?”

  His enticing lips smiled, but his eyes were tight. “You didn’t hear about the fire last night.”

  “Yes, actually. Just a minute ago from a couple of customers. What happened?”

  He cocked his head, accidentally turning his perfect jawline into the light. “You don’t read the news?”

  “No. It just makes me angry and I don’t sleep very well as it is.”

  “Well, there was a fire at the Armstrong apartments a few blocks away.”

  “Yeah, was everyone okay?”

  “Apparently. They said it was a wiring issue, and it started in an empty apartment, but the smoke alarms were intact, so there were no injuries.”

  “Thank goodness.”

  “Well, yeah,” he shrugged. “But the inspectors have said that the wiring in the whole building is shot, and it has to come down. So all of those people will need a new place to live.”

  “The whole building?” He nodded. “That doesn’t seem suspicious to you?” I asked.

  He looked at me oddly, but I could
see that he was genuinely interested in my opinion. “Go on,” he said.

  “People are tearing old buildings down and putting up condos all over the place. It’s much easier to get a lot rezoned if they have to tear any structures down anyway.”

  Daniel nodded. “There have been a few rumblings up that alley, but there’s no way to prove anything.”

  “Are the electrical inspector and the property owner related in any way?”

  “I don’t know. I’ll look into that.”

  “Did the fire start vertically or horizontally?”

  “What... Every building is different. How would that make a difference?”

  I knew I shouldn’t be saying this, but some of my customers lived in that building, and could have been killed. “One way to make a fire look like an accidental electrical fire is to punch a hole in a wall where there is a bunch of wiring, and have a rat ready. You have the cage door lined up at the hole. Set the poor little thing on fire, and open the cage. The rat runs wildly through the interior of the building, setting things on fire.”

  His jaw fell open. “That’s the most disgusting, cruel, horrific thing I’ve heard today, and it’s not even noon.”

  I nodded. “I know. So, natural electric fires tend to go upward, as flames and heat rise. Rats tend to run on a horizontal plane.” I held up a hand. “I know, it’s awful. I read a book on insane crimes a few years ago, and that has stuck with me. According to the book, it’s done all the time, and really hard to detect.”

  “I’ll look into it, and mention it to the detective on the case. There’s likely no way to prove anything.” He sighed heavily. “Those damn condos are squashing every building with a bit of charm. Nobody will be able to afford to live here in twenty years.”

  “I’m sure they teach you to follow the money when you’re looking for answers. Whoever has the most to gain from that property likely set the fire.”

  “Or had their minions do it,” Daniel said, then his jaw clenched. “Like the hardware store fire several years ago.”

  “That was before I moved here,” I said, then quickly remembered I never wanted to talk about me moving. “What hardware store?”