by Elle Linder
“Mommy will be here soon.” He patted her leg. “Are you excited?” He felt stupid asking her that when their solemn moods mirrored each other. Last night he’d talked to Izzy about seeing Renee, but he couldn’t fake excitement.
Whenever he talked about Renee, he kept it light and let Izzy steer the conversation as she looked at a photo on her nightstand. Rick had taken the picture at a local park last summer, when he and Renee had still been a couple. That day had been a good one. He’d chased Izzy around the park as she giggled, pushed her on a swing, and slid down a slide with her dozens of times. The clear-blue sky was the same color of the room they were sitting in, and suddenly he was sad.
This wasn’t how Rick thought his life would turn out—a single dad raising a little girl, mostly on his own, because her mother was a drug addict. Sure, he knew situations like his were more common than they should be, but it wasn’t how his life was supposed to be.
Life in the fast lane, a fresh new woman each week, no commitments. It had all been an adrenaline rush, like an extreme sport. Then it had all come to a screeching halt the night he saw Renee in Tim’s Bar. She’d been alone and so had he. They’d sat together in a booth and talked for an hour about nothing much at all. Luke’s name had never come up. Looking back, if it had, Rick was certain he wouldn’t have taken Renee back to his place. But after his third Maker’s Mark, her fourth Sex on the Beach, and one dance…the line was crossed.
After that night, his life had forever changed. The line had been breached, so he’d tried to make it work with Renee. Mostly out of guilt for betraying Luke. In his mind, something good had to come out of the deceit. But that wasn’t how the story had ended. Lives had been ripped apart because he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.
“Rick?” He looked up at Renee as she entered, smiling at Izzy. “Hi, baby.”
He was lost for words, staring at her swollen red eyes. Thinner than the last time he’d seen her, Renee appeared weak and frail.
“Hi.” He stood and placed a light kiss on her cheek. “Give Mommy a hug,” he directed Izzy. She did as she was told, to his relief. He could see the hesitation in her eyes and hoped she wouldn’t throw a fit. A tear rolled down Renee’s pale, bony face.
“I don’t have much time,” she said with her lips pressed against Izzy’s head. “And I don’t want to fight.”
“Me either. How’ve you been?” She rolled her eyes. Stupid question, obviously. Not a good start. “Sorry.”
“I’m tired.”
“Having a tough time sleeping?”
“Tired of life. Tired of fighting drugs only to choose them over my kids. Tired of being alone. I’m tired of it all.” There was something different about her that he couldn’t place. She ran two fingers through Izzy’s curls. “I’m sure you heard about my visit with Luke and the kids yesterday?”
“Yeah, I heard.”
“He used to do everything I said. He used to give me everything I wanted. He used to care about me.”
“He still cares about you, but he isn’t yours anymore.”
“No, he isn’t. He’s hers!” Izzy startled on her lap, and Rick was ready to remove her, but Renee’s demeanor changed again in an instant. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry,” she whispered. “What about you? Are you seeing anyone?”
“Yes.” He wasn’t going to lie, but he would tread carefully. “Her name is Lauren.”
“Is she good to you? Good to Izzy?”
“She is.”
Renee smiled up at him, but her eyes were vacant. “I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks.” He looked around the room, unsure of what to say next. “When do you think you’ll be leaving this place?”
“Soon.”
“Really? That’s great. I didn’t know.” She nodded, looking down as she refolded Izzy’s socks. “So, then what will you do?”
“Anything. Everything.” She shrugged. “I have a letter for Izzy. But hold onto it until her birthday.” She handed him the envelope.
“Why don’t you send it to her? Or you could come out to Idaho for her birthday? We’ll have a little celebration.”
“Just take it now. I don’t want it to get lost. Maybe I’ll come out in December.” Rick slid the envelope into his back pocket. “I’m glad you came to see me before you left.”
“Of course. We wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”
Tears rained down on Izzy’s shoulders as Renee hugged her tight. “I love you, Iz. So, so, much.” Izzy stayed still on her lap, eyes wide and darting around the room. “Mommy has to go now, okay?” Izzy nodded and slid off her lap. “Wait. One more hug?” Izzy turned around, and Renee embraced her again.
It took all the air out of Rick’s lungs, seeing her quivering lip and the protruding veins in her hands as she gripped Izzy.
Was he doing the right thing moving to Idaho?
Rick had never doubted getting full custody of Izzy. Her safety and wellbeing were his top priorities. Nor did he feel guilty about not being with Renee. The night in the bar should have only been a one-time deal. Real love and emotion had never been present for either of them, even when he’d tried. He saw it so clearly now that Lauren was in his life; she made his life whole. He’d never been so happily in love until her.
When he turned his attention to Renee, it was sadness he felt. He had known Renee when she was a vibrant, attractive woman. When her kids mattered. He didn’t know this weathered addict.
“Okay.” Renee released Izzy and stood. “Take care of her.”
“I will. And if you need anything, I’m only a phone call away.”
“Thanks. But I’ll be fine. Take care of my girl and have a good life with…Lauren?”
“Yes, Lauren.” He looked down at Izzy briefly, and when he looked up, Renee was gone.
twenty-two
Secrets Revealed
Lauren stirred her coffee as Julia served each of them some fruit, yogurt, and granola in little glass bowls. It had been almost two months since her indiscretion with Trent, and she couldn’t keep it in anymore. Rick would arrive tomorrow, and she didn’t want anything standing between them. Meaning, she didn’t want Julia angry.
But Julia seemed off, and Lauren wasn’t quite sure why. “Julia, what’s up?”
“Nothing. Why?” Julia handed her a bowl and sat down across from her.
“You seem off.”
“I could say the same about you. Something on your mind?” Lauren sipped her coffee slowly. Maybe telling her about Trent at this moment was a bad idea. But then, was there ever a good time to tell you best friend that you slept with her ex? She cringed as she recalled that night. “Everything all right with you and Rick?”
“Everything is wonderful with Rick.” She flashed a full smile, unable to contain it when she thought about him. “I wish we didn’t live so far apart from each other. But I’ve never been happier.”
“I’m thrilled I’ll get to see you more often now that Rick’s moving to town. I can’t believe how fast everything has fallen into place for him. A brewery, moving and you, all within six weeks. It’s pretty mind-blowing.”
“It is.”
“And you thought you’d always be single. What was it you used to chant? The single life is the best life? Such a load of crap.” Julia rolled her eyes.
Lauren remembered the morning she had admitted wanting more than a vodka-laced hookup to herself with a pang of guilt. “Julia, I have something to tell you.”
“Oh? What?”
“Actually, I have two things to tell you, and I need you to promise me two things first.”
“Promise you what?” Julia clasped her hands together like she always did during a business meeting.
“One, promise me you won’t get mad.” Julia pinched her brows together. That was never a good sign. “And two…you can’t tell Rick the second part.” Julia bit her bottom lip and drummed her nails on the table. That was really not a good sign. Lying and Julia didn’t mix. Keeping secrets wasn’t somet
hing Julia did. Lauren’s pulse thumped in her ear as she waited for Julia’s response.
“I promise to not tell Rick whatever number two is, and I promise to be fair about number one.” Of course, professional and diplomatic. “Continue.” She nodded.
What the hell? Julia had agreed to keep her secret without an explanation first. The world must be ending.
“Oh God, this isn’t easy…I slept with Trent.” Lauren watched for a reaction, but all she got was a stone-cold expression, so she continued. “I’m so ashamed. It was the weekend before Brice’s birthday. It just happened. You know, vodka, strobing lights, Lady Gaga. We bumped into each other, and I took him home.” Lauren covered her face with her hands while waiting for Julia’s response. Each second that passed felt like a lashing with a whip. “Please say something.”
“What else?”
“No, first this Trent thing.”
“Is it a ‘Trent thing?’ Are you seeing him and Rick at the same time?”
“No. God, no! I lo—” She stopped herself from saying the four-letter word. “It was only one time. I never meant for it to happen, and now I’m disgusted that it did. I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me?”
“Forgive you? You want me to forgive you?”
“Is that a trick question?”
“Jesus, Lauren, this is Trent we’re talking about. Trent! I don’t have feelings for him. I don’t care who he screws. But even so, there’s something weird about knowing you had sex with my ex-boyfriend.” Julia shivered in her chair. “Of all the guys, you pick him?” She made a gagging face that Lauren wanted to be able to laugh at.
“I was drunk! He was familiar. It was the stupidest mistake I could ever make, and if it ends our friendship, I’ll die.” She could feel the tears pooling in her eyes.
Dammit. She didn’t want to get emotional, but she had been emotional all week, crying over the most ridiculous things, like an empty container of chocolate coconut milk and when Elena became a vampire.
“Relax, hon. You sleeping with Trent won’t end our friendship. I’m just sorry you had to experience his less-than-stellar skills in bed.” Julia giggled. “Did he fumble trying to find your G-spot and ask you to slap his ass right before he came?”
“Um, yeah.” They roared with laughter. A wave of relief washed over Lauren. “He also cried your name out twice, and the next morning when I was freaking out about sleeping with him, he said you wouldn’t care because you had your stupid lumberjack.”
Julia stopped laughing. “That’s not funny. That’s creepy! He cried my name out?”
“I think he still loves you.” Lauren shrugged.
“Ewww! It’s been a year. You’d think he would have moved on by now.”
“Maybe you’re that wonderful a woman and he regrets cheating on you.”
“Whatever. But, wow.” She sipped her coffee as her eyes darted around, her tell that the wheels were turning in her head. “So, what’s your second secret?”
Crap! The whole Trent issue had been so quickly resolved, better than Lauren could have predicted, that she had forgotten about the number-one issue. Oh please, oh please make her keep my secret. She threw up a silent prayer, heart galloping like a horse.
“Well, I’ve been thinking about the inn a lot in the last week, and maybe we should hire a full-time manager. Like Teri. She’d be great.” Lauren sucked in breath, fighting to keep her emotions from unravelling at the seam. This conversation she had never imagined having, not like this anyway, or maybe not ever.
“Really?”
“Or maybe we sell it.”
“Sell it? Why?”
“Because I don’t want a long-distance relationship with Rick. How am I to know if he has the it-factor if we’re only together for a few days here and there?”
“You mean how will you know if you love him?” Julia tapped her fingers again. “But sell? Isn’t that presumptuous? I mean, come on, babe, you and commitment haven’t ever been a thing. Don’t get me wrong! I want you to settle down, and I’d love for it to be here in Faithful Falls. With Rick. But what if this is only a month-long fling?”
“What if it’s an eighteen-year fling?” Julia looked at her, confused. “Or a fling to span our whole lives?”
“Do you love him?”
“I don’t know. I know I care about him more than I’ve cared for another man. But that L-word…it’s a powerful word. Maybe. It would make sense if I did, since he’s the…father of my baby.” She held her breath, willing Julia to jump out of her chair in utter delight and break out into her happy dance. Please be happy for me.
“I suppose. But sell?” Julia’s eyes flashed in awe. “Wait! Baby? Baby!”
Lauren nodded her head. “Baby.”
It took Julia several deep breaths and some pacing in the little lake house before she could sit back down and resume the baby conversation. Lauren grew giddy waiting for her thoughts. She could read Julia’s body language and facial expressions like a book. And right now, Lauren felt a calm move over her that everything would be okay.
Except the burning question remained: would Julia keep her secret? That, Lauren didn’t know. A baby was a huge secret to keep. Was it even fair to ask Julia knowing her moral compass would be compromised?
“I don’t know what to say. Or what to think. Or what to say.” Julia was off and running like a babbling fool. “Does Rick know? Wait, he doesn’t or else you wouldn’t have told me to promise not to tell him. Oh my gosh! You’re going to tell him, right? It would be completely wrong if you didn’t. You know that, right?” Lauren nodded, waiting for more. “I guess I see why you’d want to move up here. A baby. A baby is a big deal. Oh my God, you’re having a baby!”
Lauren smiled as Julia talked out her thoughts. Silence was the only way to deal with a flustered Julia Greene.
“How far along are you? When did you find out? Any morning sickness? How did it happen? You’ve been on the pill for like, ever!” Julia sat, then stood from her chair and walked around the room, and then she spun around and wrapped her arms around Lauren. “You’re going to have a baby, sweets. I’m so happy for you!”
“And you’re going to be an auntie.”
“An auntie!”
“I’m only a couple weeks along, but the four pregnancy sticks I peed on all showed positive. So, I saw my lady doctor three days ago. Apparently, what they say is true: only abstinence is one hundred percent. Leave it to me, the birth-control freak, to prove them right.” She giggled.
“And how do you feel about it? I mean, this will change your life dramatically. And what about Rick, how do you think he’ll take it? You guys have only been seeing each other a month, if that.”
“I’m fine with it. I welcome it. But I’m not sure about Rick, which is why you can’t tell him or Luke. I want to see how he is when he gets here. He’s already fathered one child. I don’t want him to feel trapped or tricked.” She quieted a few beats. “I feel like this baby”—she placed her hand on her stomach—“was meant to be.” Her lip quivered, and Julia hugged her again. “I want this baby. I want to be a mother, and I’ll do it on my own if I have to.”
“You will never be alone. I’ll always be with you.”
Later that day, Julia took Lauren out to the property she hoped to close on by the middle of September. If she did this right, the foundation could be poured before the first snowfall. She inhaled the scent of pine around her as she watched Lauren walk around holding her belly.
Wouldn’t it be perfect if they could be pregnant at the same time? Their kids could grow up together and be best friends like them. Julia reveled in the sweet fantasy of it all.
“How big of a house are you thinking?” Lauren hollered.
“At least four bedrooms, with a full basement. The house plan I fell in love with is close to four thousand square feet.” Lauren’s eyes widened, and Julia shrugged. “We need the space.”
“I bet, with his kids and then the ones you’ll have.”
“Rig
ht, and I want two.”
Lauren smiled wide. “What about Luke? Does he want two more?”
Julia laughed. “He wants as many as he can impregnate me with. The more the merrier, he says. He’s crazy.”
“I think he’s sweet. It shows how much he loves you. I’m guessing Renee will have a cow about the first one and then taper off as you pop more out.”
Julia walked to the edge of the property to view the lake. She also believed Renee would have a cow. After all, how dare the homewrecker have a baby with her husband?
“Hey, what’s wrong? You have that look in your eyes. The one that says something is eating away at you.”
“Renee wrote me a nasty letter.” Lauren frowned. “A week before Luke left with the kids, it arrived at the resort. That woman hates me so much. As if I’m the one who stole Luke away. Seriously, I didn’t come into the picture until three years after they divorced. She’s the one who cheated with his best friend!”
She gasped, choking on the foot she had to lodge in her throat. What an insensitive, mindless thing to say.
“I’m sorry, babe.” She searched Lauren’s face. The indifference in her eyes set Julia’s mind at ease.
“It’s okay. It’s the truth, and I’m okay with it. I don’t like that he slept with the skank, but it is what it is. Rick is a changed man. A wonderful changed man.” She rubbed her stomach again. “Whatever was in the letter, forget about it. She’s a manipulative bitch, and all she wants to do is hurt you.”
Julia wouldn’t argue that, but it haunted her how it had sounded like a suicide letter. “There’s more,” Julia continued. “After calling me a heartless homewrecker, she said, ‘May my death haunt you for the rest of your life.’”
“She’s full of shit! Don’t let her strong-arm you with empty threats. God, I hate that woman!” Lauren spewed. “Gah! What did Luke say? I’m sure he went ballistic.”
“I haven’t told him.”
“Why not?”
“Because I got distracted with my mom and aunts visiting. Then Luke and I had it out about the kids not returning to Alaska and him not telling me, and then we made up and decided to build a house, and then he left.” She took a deep breath and blew out. “There hasn’t been a good time.”
