“No qualms here.”
That was a little oversimplifying it. I had the ingrained habit of wanting to move fast with just about everything in my life, and this was probably going to be no different.
But for Renee, it was something that I could try and do. For Renee, I could try and do anything.
“Good.”
She swallowed.
“I don’t know how you’ll feel about this next point, but Zane, we cannot have our business public for quite some time. I have a reputation and a professional image to uphold, and while it’s not unheard of for former patients and therapists to fall for each other, it’s rare. And it’s certainly significantly rarer than this. That means I’m not going to go to your parties. I’m not going to do a ton of public dates with you. In time, sure. But that goes back to the bit about being very, very slow.”
“Sure. I get it. And I’ll do everything I can to respect it.”
“Good,” she said, taking a deep breath. “And I know this might seem simple, but I need to know that this is an exclusive relationship. That you won’t be seeing me on weekdays and then going after some club bunny on a Friday night.”
“That’s the easiest thing you’ve said so far,” I said with a half-chuckle. “Sex is great. Sex with someone you care about is much more meaningful.”
That gave her the first real smile since she had started this intense conversation. I think she was surprised by how relaxed and at ease I felt with all of this, but it wasn’t an act. I genuinely was willing to move at her pace and go with whatever happened.
“Then I would say that you addressed most of my concerns,” Renee gave with a smile. “I don’t know what else to say other than…”
“Let’s get out of here?”
I realized as soon as I said it that it probably came across as more sexual than romantic.
“I just mean somewhere private, you know, since you want to avoid public dates and all—”
“No, I know what you mean,” she said, but a coy smile started to form on her lips. “Come on. Let’s head to my place.”
I didn’t want to presume anything as we headed for our respective vehicles and rode to her place. But as soon as we got to her place, as soon as I saw the wicked look in her eyes, as soon as I entered and her hands were on me, I knew one thing was for sure.
I finally had my girl.
6
Renee
It felt good to finally unburden myself of all of the shackles.
No more worrying about the burden of ethics. No more worrying about death at the hands of Owen. No more wondering if Zane was only using me as a means to be some great conquest, not to be something more intimate.
In relieving myself of my duty to be his therapist and to just let myself be human around him, I finally had the chance to feel what I had wanted to feel—something that, ironically, I had failed to do for some time despite pushing my patients to realize it so much. I would never tell a patient to quit their job just so they could be with someone, but I would always tell them to weigh all the factors and make both a detached and an emotionally-vested decision.
I guess I just needed all of the highs and the lows of the couple of weeks to get to that.
And because of that, I was ready to be naked with Zane—and this time, without shame or questioning for why I had done what I had done.
I was already giggling when I pressed the door to my apartment shut, pulling in Zane right after to my lips for a passionate kiss. I thought for a split second that we might have just gone like wolves into the bedroom and fucked like bunnies, but I think both of us realized some silent, unspoken value in just remaining where we were, kissing lovingly. We had fought through so much just to be here; why would we want to rush such a moment?
“Are we going to go to your bedroom, or just make out all night?” Zane said with a hint of that boisterous laugh that had so marked him when I first met him.
“I think I’d be happy with either one, honestly,” I said.
Zane murmured something incomprehensible through our kisses, and then just said, “I’d be too.”
I don’t know why—I guess the little things were just impossible to predict—but that just warmed my heart so much. Even as we were about to be naked and exploring each other’s body, Zane would have been content just to have me here. Granted, it could have easily been passed off as just “the right thing to say in the moment” but I didn’t think of it like that. Zane wasn’t the player trying to get into my pants anymore; he was something more.
Still, arousal and horniness had a powerful way of compelling people to act, and moments later, the two of us were moving through the apartment, trying not to knock into walls, coffee tables, and furniture. Eventually, I just gave up, having to pull myself away from the kiss momentarily so that I could pull him to the room without banging my shin. I think Zane started to say something, but the fact that I held his hand and that he already had an enormous bulge from his jeans meant that he wasn’t going to be saying anything that would slow me down.
As soon as we got into my bedroom, it was like he full-on tackled me to the bed, leaving me yipping and laughing with delight. I will admit that a small part of me, perhaps on instinct, wanted to withdraw; after all, this was someone that I had fought like hell to prevent from so much as flirting with me, let alone doing more. But I was able to mentally push back on that withdrawal, allow Zane to continue touching me, and seconds later, it passed.
By that point, Zane had already gotten my shirt off and was in the process of wedging his hand between my bra and the bed so that he could remove my bra. He’d already started to move his kissing away from my lips and down toward my neck. By the time he reached my breasts, he seemed to have timed the removal of my bra perfectly; it was seamless pushing it away.
“Oh, Zane,” I murmured, running my hands through his hair. “Feels so fucking good.”
“Just wait till I get to the good stuff.”
I actually shuddered at that. It was so odd, even though I knew intellectually what was going on—I’d already experienced the sensation of sex with Zane, and yet this time, I was feeling very excited and even a bit nervous. There were some nerves last time, sure, but it was more like the nerves of just having sex than the nerves of being with Zane.
Now? They were the nerves of someone who was so eager and so desperate for this moment to come that I couldn’t help but shiver and shake. Fuck, he might have been able to get me off just by anticipation alone!
Fortunately, he was moving with such speed that I didn’t have to worry about that.
He got down to my hips, unbuckled my jeans, and had them and my underwear yanked off within moments. We may have wanted to take our time with kissing, but now that we were in that transition spot, there was no part of either of us that wanted to go slow. He buried his face into my sex, pushing his tongue forward, and started to work my clit.
“Zane!” I shouted. “Ohhhh.”
His murmuring only increased the excitement and tingling that I felt down there. The mere vibration of his vocal cords, though subtle, was enough to add just enough light touch that it kept pushing me on and on.
It was a far cry from the last time, in which there was the physical pleasure that came just through the act but not much else. This was the kind of passion that I’d hoped to experience; this was the emotional reward that I hoped all of my clients sought. Guess it was about damn time that I found it for myself, huh?
After a few minutes, I tried to get him to come up so that I could have him inside of me, but he initially resisted.
“Gonna make you come first, darling,” he said. “And you don’t have a choice in the matter.”
Oh, well then. I hadn’t come last time, but that wasn’t because it wasn’t impossible. I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind.
But now?
And then, just as I had that thought, Zane went back to work, and the slight delay seemed to do the trick. I was feeling a tension that was n
ot about to be broken, that had reached the point of no return—so long as Zane didn’t stop, I was going to actually come.
And I swore to God, if he stopped…
“Oh fuck, yes, yes, Zane,” I said, and soon, I couldn’t even speak. I could only utter gasps of air, wordless breaths that seemed to be able to communicate only by their intensity and by their rapid pace. I took one quick draw of the breath, feeling the tension reach its absolute peak…
And then, like a dam cracking and then breaking, the waves of orgasm pulsated through my body, their warm glow reaching all the way from my sex down to my extremities. My hips shook violently and my legs quivered around Zane’s face. I closed my eyes and arched my head back.
The whole process, in real time, was probably only seconds, but I knew as soon as it happened that it was just going to be one of those moments that I would never forget. It would be a moment that, while sitting at my desk at work, I would just zone out and have come to mind. It was less a memory and more an indelible image that was never going to be forgotten.
“Oh my… God…” I said when I finally got Zane to back off. I saw him starting to remove his clothes, but I was still recovering from the pleasure of that orgasm before I could even try anything else. “How in the world…”
“Because of you,” he said.
Zane…
“Because of you, I went down like that and gave it to you until you came.”
I decided not to inquire further into what he meant. The surface level words were sweet enough.
And, in any case, he was over me in a second, and he was reaching back to position his cock for entry into my still-throbbing pussy. He reached down to kiss me, and I practically swallowed his lips, engrossing him in the most erotic kiss yet.
When I felt him fill me, my breathing again intensified to the point that I could barely keep pace with him. This time, it was more than just a pleasure—it was fulfilling. And, yes, very filling.
Over the next several minutes, we traded different positions and tried just about every single one. Missionary, doggy, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, standing… I hadn’t had sex like this in ages, but it had very little to do with the positions, though they couldn’t hurt.
It wasn’t until Zane finished that I could finally slow down, reflect, and think about what had happened.
I’d just had a former client of mine have sex and finish in me. And there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with that. I wasn’t compartmentalizing or trying to rationalize. I just really, truly, genuinely did not feel any sort of doubt about the positivity of the experience.
“Zane…” I said as he pulled out and cuddled against me.
“I love you, Renee.”
I did a double-take. Had I heard him right? That had sort of seemed out of nowhere.
“I realized it when you left after the last time,” he said. “I realized that if you left me, it would absolutely crush me. I couldn’t imagine living with you. But I vowed not to impede on your decision making until you were sure. And now that you’re here… I can say I love you.”
The therapist in me wanted to sound the alarm, to say that this was too much too soon, that this wasn’t healthy.
The human in me, though?
“I love you too, Zane,” I said.
It wasn’t the love that we’d have in a year or a decade. It was a nascent love, the kind that would need time to grow.
But it was a real love. It was a real connection.
And ours was a real, permanent relationship at last.
Epilogue
For a group as loudmouthed, ostentatious, and shameless as the Savage Kings had once been, it sure seemed like we had now done a 180 and gone into the other direction.
Just months ago, the group was full of bachelors who drank, smoked, and fought their way to whatever they wanted. We were led by a pair of brothers who had inherited the club from their father, one who barely wanted to be there, the other who had some major shoes to fill. I was the craziest of them all, but it wasn’t like the other officers weren’t a little nutty either. We were protective of Romara, but I couldn’t pretend that there was never any collateral spillover from what we did.
But now, as I sat in the wedding chapel that looked more like a country barn, with Renee holding my hand, I couldn’t help but think that that group of men had not just changed.
We had evolved.
Brock had learned to embrace his past, the good and the bad, and to avoid letting him and Heather become a sort of modern day Romeo and Juliet.
Petey, meanwhile, had learned to let go of his past. He and Anna had become, in many ways, the ideal for the club to follow—both of them being a little bit older meant they had the maturity to invariably weather the fights that came our way.
Parker… well, Parker was still as batshit crazy as ever. As a persona, he had never changed, and I really didn’t think he was going to change. He just loved being a Marine a wee bit too much. But say this for Liza—she kept him in check and wasn’t afraid to call him out when she was around.
Landon had rediscovered his purpose in the club, and Caroline’s kindness and grounded morals and gone a long way toward helping him realize the importance of where he came from.
And then there was me.
Zane Williams, the young buck who swore not just to never fall in love but to actively remind everyone of it. My name was synonymous with party, sex, and just about every other nightlife term you could think of. I didn’t do heavy drugs, but that was only so I could maintain my mind and verbal wit.
I couldn’t even say that Renee entering my life was the thing that changed me. After all, I would be lying if I said that she started out as a true romantic goal; I only wanted to make the claim that I had hooked up with my therapist, as if that would somehow add to the legacy of what I was.
But slowly, Renee did the impossible. She showed me I needed to change.
She made me realize that the club, as it existed, couldn’t go on as it was—and by the club, I mean me. I couldn’t continue to just be a wild fuck. There wasn’t any shame in facing the vulnerable parts of myself—in fact, it’s what made me so very human.
It was that realization—and, admittedly, some time, some dumb luck, and some bold moves—that had gotten us to where we were. Now, I didn’t care if Renee was a therapist, a banker, a student, or a stay-at-home mother. Because Renee wasn’t her job title, and I wasn’t my hobby or lifestyle. Renee was much deeper than that, and so was I.
And when I realized that I had come full circle, it made me smile widely. The club was going to have a lot more father and husband support groups than it had before.
“For the first time, I introduce to you as husband and wife, Brock and Heather King.”
We broke out in applause as we rose to our feet. Landon looked like he was on the verge of tears. Parker was trying to puff out his chest in a blatant attempt to not cry. The rest of us were just so happy for Brock.
And as they made their way down the aisle, as we watched the rest of the Savage Kings make their way out, as my hand went back to Renee, I knew one thing for sure.
All of us in that room were going to be at the altar someday. And for the members of the club who had found their woman in recent times, we were going to be up there with those women.
It was hard to think of anything more royal and perfect than that.
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Savage Redemption
“My life was all about revenge until I met her.”
I want them destroyed.
The Anarchists killed my father, haunt me and my brother, and seek to destroy my club, the Savage Kings.
For years, I have stopped at nothing to annihilate them.
But for years, I also never forgot her.
She was everything to me.
She brought joy to my life.
And I had to leave her without explanation.
But a chance encounter has b
rought her back to me.
And now, everything has changed.
My life is now all about having her—and nothing can stop me.
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Final Absolution: An MC Romance (Savage Kings MC Book 20) Page 3
