“I have been trying to understand, Frank.”
Frank braced himself for the worst and prayed that he didn’t say anything stupid. “Understand what?”
“Our last conversation at the house. The day I left. I told you everything. Why didn’t you?”
“I did. I mean, there was nothing else to tell.”
“A baby is something, Frank. A really big, live, life-altering something.”
“Paging Dr. Natii, paging Dr. Natii. Please report to the OR immediately.” A voice rang out over the intercom, pausing their interlude for just a moment.
“That is not my child, Lisa.” He drilled his eyes into hers, emphasizing his point. “That is not possible.”
“Condoms are not absolute,” Lisa quipped, not buying his show of confidence.
“Well, a vasectomy is.” He had not meant to say it. There it was . . . something stupid had made its way out of his mouth. The tears on Lisa’s face were proof that the information about his procedure was something he should have taken to the grave.
“What? What are you talking about, Frank?”
Frank closed his eyes, cursing himself, knowing that he had probably just blown any chance he had to get Lisa back. Shit. “I cannot father children, Lisa. I had a vasectomy long ago, so I know that her child could not possibly be mine. She is lying.”
Lisa wiped the tears from her eyes. “Fifteen years, Frank. Fifteen years you allowed me to think that something was wrong with me.”
“I didn’t allow anything. Never once did I mislead you.”
Lisa kept talking as if she hadn’t heard him. “You knew I wanted to give you a child. The fertility treatments . . . the rituals . . . I tried everything.”
“You what?”
Lisa shook her head dismissively, trying to free herself from the thought.
“Lisa, what are you talking about, rituals and fertility treatments?” Frank inquired, pressing the button on the remote, lifting himself up. Seeing that he still had not garnered her attention, he continued calling her name. “Lisa . . . Lisa . . . hello . . . Lisa?”
Clank, clank, clank! Banging his hand on the plastic railing, he called out to her still.
“Lisa!”
That broke her trance.
“What are you talking about? What fertility treatments? Rituals? What did you do?”
Lisa looked at Frank, confused and fearful.
“What are you talking about?”
“I wanted a baby. My family. You shut me out, and I thought a baby would let me in again.”
Frank grabbed the sides of his face, massaging his eyes. The skin on his face felt so tight it might rip open. “Fertility treatments? Why didn’t you say anything to me?”
“Shame. Fear. I don’t know.”
“You don’t think that you might have wanted to discuss any of that with me?”
“You mean how you might have thought it was a good idea to tell me about the procedure?”
Frank had no rebuttal. She was correct. Had he been honest with her about it, she would not have suffered in silence. “Lisa, I cannot believe you went through that stuff by yourself.” Frank felt sick inside. He had truly failed her in every way possible.
“You shut me out, Franklin. You and Bria shared something so special, and I could see it. I just wanted that for us. I tried everything. I even went to a witch doctor.”
Frank felt dejected. He could do nothing but stare at his wife, a woman he apparently did not know much about. “Is that what you were doing all those trips?”
Lisa looked away from him before she answered. “Most of the time.”
Tears steadily ran from her eyes. Frank fought the urge to wipe them away.
“I thought you were cheating on me.”
Lisa’s eyes opened wide, and she looked at him for what felt like the first time. He could see her surprise. “What? Are you serious?”
Frank nodded yes, lowering his head in shame.
“But you never questioned me. Why?”
Frank inhaled deeply. “Guilt, I guess. I was so consumed with guilt about Brianna. I kind of felt like I deserved it. That maybe I needed to let you have that. I knew I was not giving you everything you needed. I wanted to, Lisa, I really did, but I did not know how.”
Lisa lowered her head back on the chair, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands. “Wow.” Lisa spoke in between sniffles. “This is probably the most honest conversation we have ever had.”
“Well, being naked under this sheet thing doesn’t leave me with a lot of room to hide anything.” Frank laughed, happy to hear Lisa join him.
“Too bad it took all of this.”
“I really am sorry, Lisa. I should have told you about the procedure, but I was too busy dreaming. Everything I ever wanted was happening. I found love with a beautiful woman, married, and I was a signature away from securing my financial future.”
“I deserved a chance to make my own decision, Franklin.”
“I know, and trust—”
Lisa cut her eyes so hard Frank thought they might have whiplash.
Stuttering a bit, he continued. “Trust me, I was going to tell you.”
“When?”
“That day we met with Jacob.”
Lisa relaxed, softening her stance. “Oh. Why didn’t you?”
“Kids were not really on my mind until that moment. Everything was going according to plan. When we got that news, it felt like Mount Everest landed on me. I felt like the biggest ass ever. How could I tell you that we could never get the money because I couldn’t father a kid? I could barely process the news.”
Frank briefly turned his attention to the small television mounted in the far corner. Footage from a leaked police cam showing the murder of an unarmed black man sprawled across the screen in silence. Frank’s stomach turned, recalling the previous four or five cases that had made the front page—no convictions, no indictments, no concern over the loss of life. It disgusted him. With each name added to the ever-growing list, Frank thanked the heavens that Brianna was female. Her odds of surviving were a little better.
“I understand you were fearful, but . . . damn, Frank. Really?” Her words verbally rebuked him for allowing his attention to sway away from her. “We never discussed kids, and then we had Brianna.”
Frank shrugged his shoulders. “I thought having her fixed things.”
“You were wrong.”
“I know.”
Lisa sprang to her feet, briefly locking eyes with Frank. She slid toward the television, giving Frank a clear view of her nude bottom peeking through the slit of her hospital gown. Watching the coverage, Lisa asked the question that had been leering at her from the shadows.
“Did you try and kill me?”
Frank sat up straight in bed, waited for Lisa to face him. “I have made some horrible decisions. I have been an asshole, a liar, and in some ways a thief.” Taking a deep breath, he spoke from his heart. “I did not do this to you. I love you in my own imperfect way. I love you more than anything in this world. I need you to believe that.”
“I believe you, Franklin. I believe you.”
Feeling somewhat relieved that she accepted his answer, he shared his commentary on the moment. “I thought you tried to hurt yourself because of me. Because of that baby.”
“How did you know?”
Frank scoffed. “Charlie kept calling over and over again. I excused myself to the restroom—”
“To take her call.”
Frank could see the wheels spinning in Lisa’s mind. “Yeah, and she warned me about the messages. I ran out and—” Frank fought back his tears. The image of his wife still hurt. “I found you lying there.”
Lisa sauntered back to her seat beside his bed. She climbed back through the moment when she had found him lying on the floor. She knew exactly how he felt.
“I lost it. Anyway, I don’t even know how she found you.”
“Full disclosure: Charlie and I have stayed at the hotel a few
times.”
Frank remained neutral in his reaction to the news. He did not want to regress. Besides, he could not be upset with anything she did. He had vacated their marriage, leaving her to fend for herself.
“You and Charlie were pretty serious, huh?” he asked.
“That relationship met a need. I won’t belittle it to soothe your ego. There were moments when I craved to be with her, in her presence.”
“Why? What was it about her?” Fear crept into Frank’s heart, chipping away at his ability to be enough for the woman he loved.
“She made me feel like I was the only thing in the universe that mattered at all to her. The planets revolving, galaxies exploding, she put me in the center of her world. I came second to nothing.”
Even with his eyes closed, Frank could see what Charlie gave that he had not. His wife felt ignored, unimportant, and that feeling left her vulnerable, in need. He would not make that mistake again. “And now? How do you feel now?”
“That was a lie.”
“About me. How do you feel about us?”
“You scare me.”
Frank swallowed his words, unsure of how to process that. “I would never hurt you, Lisa.”
“I don’t trust people, Frank. Nothing personal against you, though your record definitely hasn’t helped, but in general, I don’t trust people. I am not sure I know how to do that.”
“One decision at a time.”
Lisa did not say anything. He could see her contemplating his offer.
“I am a better man than I have been. Let me prove that to you.”
“I don’t know, Frank. I love you, but I don’t know.”
Frank’s heart sank, but he wasn’t giving up yet. “Treat yourself, Lisa. You stuck around through all of my bullshit. Suffered with me. Don’t bail now that I am finally the man you always needed me to be.”
“I don’t need you to be him for me. I am good by myself. Always have been.”
“I don’t doubt that. Maybe you don’t need me, but I need you.”
Lisa looked down at her hand; Frank still had hold of it. A subtle smile washed over her. “If we are staying in our marriage, we are in it forever, Frank.”
“That was always the plan.”
Lisa smiled a huge, genuine smile this time. “Great, because I hate divorce.”
“Thank you for giving me another chance, Lisa. I’ll never fail you again.”
“You better not. I am in your corner, too.”
Frank leaned over the bed, pausing inches away from Lisa’s face. She closed the space, planting a kiss on his lips, sealing their reunion. Lisa tried to break it, but Frank was not having it. He pulled her face closer with the palm of his hand, deepening their connection, rekindling a part of them that had been dead for decades.
“I love you, Lisa Raine Mason,” Frank whispered as he reluctantly released her.
“So, you are in this no matter what?” Lisa inquired.
“No matter what.”
“I have plenty to share with you.”
“I’m ready.”
“Someone tried to kill me.”
“I know.”
“That needs to be resolved.”
Frank nodded in confirmation. “Details are sketchy. Happened really quickly. Played it over and over in my mind. What do you remember?”
Frank stared in wonder as Lisa’s aura seemed to shift before his eyes. Emotion disappeared from her eyes, her voice. It was like she had flipped an internal switch.
“Masculine energy. Must have been hiding somewhere in the kitchen. Happened really quickly. Heard the voicemail, turned to the stove, upset, distracted, and he attacked me at the precise moment. One hand over my mouth, the other pushed a knife into my chest. Motion was fluid. Over in seconds.”
Lisa recounted the incident like it was a minor traffic accident. This woman was made of steel. Her speech was not that of a victim. There was little, if any, detectable emotion, only the facts as she remembered them to be.
“My chest erupted in flames. Tried to scream, but I couldn’t for some reason.”
Frank interjected. “The knife punctured your lung, instantly filling it with blood.” Swallowing his discomfort, he continued. “Consequently, you started choking on your blood until you lost consciousness.”
Lisa stared at Frank but did not reveal if his words had affected her. She seemed to be processing the information objectively, as if it had happened to someone else.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“Trying to think of who would have the skill set, the gall, and the intellect to pull something like this off. And how that person may be connected to Charlie.”
Frank drew back, surprised that Lisa would think Charlie capable. “I blamed her initially, but I was upset. Distraught. She isn’t capable of doing this.”
“You don’t know her, Frank.”
“Come on, Lisa. Murder? I just can’t see that.”
“Just because your dick got familiar with the walls of her pussy does not mean you know her. It certainly shouldn’t option you for her defense, seeing as though she is, at the very least, trying to pin a baby on you.”
“Point taken.” He lifted his hands to indicate he had no intention of pressing the issue. “Just never heard you speak of her that way.”
“You have not heard me refer to her at all.”
“True enough. Why do you think she would do this?”
“Charlene believes I don’t remember her, but I do.”
Frank perked up. This sounded promising. Lisa was finally letting him in, taking him into her past, a place she refused to visit.
“From the start, there was something familiar about her, but I couldn’t name it. Her features weren’t distinct. She looked like plenty of other women I knew. I had no clue until her letter . . .”
“Letter?”
“She confessed her sin in a letter before she abandoned me at the hotel. Told me about her deal with Lewis and where we met.”
Frank bit his question, deciding to let her tell the story uninterrupted.
“Leaving Indiana was necessary. I buried her and everything related to it once I crossed the state line into . . . Never looked back. I still couldn’t remember who she was, but during our last phone call, she said something that struck a chord: ‘We weren’t in your future. We were only in mine.’”
Frank was flabbergasted. Charlie really wanted his wife for herself. She was out of her fucking mind. “I cannot believe I am hearing any of this.”
“I have had women love me, but not like her. Her infatuation blinded her to the point where she would do anything I asked. Anything at all, without question or protest. She met a need, and I didn’t mind using her desire to my advantage, but she was becoming unmanageable. Required too much of me, and I knew our season was ending. It took a few days, but that phrase came back to me, punching me in the gut and ultimately nailing down my decision to leave, recoup. Prepare . . .”
“Prepare for what?”
“For her. Charlene Grae, aka the psychotic bitch from hell. She’s been searching the country for years, trying to find me. Hunting me is more like it. I left Indiana because of her.”
“Wait a minute.” Frank fell back onto his pillow, staring up at this large tiled ceiling of the hospital room, trying to wrap his mind around what he had heard. “What? She hunted you?”
“Her mind is fucked up. Obsessed with me even in high school. I’d find letters, poems, and random gifts in my locker. She would show up to parties uninvited. She wouldn’t interact. Just sat in a corner, watching me.”
Shaking his head in disbelief, Frank did not know what to say.
“I let it go because she just seemed . . . off and harmless for the most part. But one night, I lost it, confronted her. She freaked out, ran away humiliated. She quit coming after that, and I thought maybe it was over. Then I got home one day, found my parents sitting in the living room. My very abusive, sadistic father had letters in his hand. I
don’t know where he got them. I didn’t have time to ask. All I remember is the sight of his closed fist rushing toward me. I don’t know when it stopped, but I woke up in bed. Could barely open my eyes, missed nearly two weeks of school.”
“I don’t understand.”
“No daughter of his was going to be no damn lesbian.”
Frank’s heart ached knowing Lisa had endured so much so young. No wonder she didn’t want to talk about it. The pain on her face showed how she was clearly still bothered by it.
“Started partying pretty hard. Didn’t want to be home. He beat me every time he thought about those damn letters.”
“I thought your dad . . . you know . . .”
“The last night I was there. The last party. I got home, pretty intoxicated. My dad was pretty lit, too. He helped me to into my room. Turned on the light, and . . . there were pictures, letters, flowers all over the place. Somehow she had gained access into my room and decorated it. My dad went ape shit, destroying everything in his sight, cursing the whole time. I should have run, but I couldn’t think of one place to go. So, I stood there in the doorway, braced myself for the beating I knew was coming. But when he turned around, I saw a monster standing there. His eyes were black like coal. He was heaving, saliva dripping from the corners of his mouth.” Lisa closed her eyes, shook her head, trying to force herself to finish.
“Lisa, you don’t have to do this. This is clearly upsetting you. You’re shaking like a leaf.”
“Fear is a sobering thing. I was so fucking afraid in that moment. I wished my mother would come this once, but I knew she wouldn’t. He was going to kill me. I tried to fight back, but . . . it was useless. He threw me around that room like a rag doll. Every part of my body hurt, but when he threw me on the bed . . . I wished he had killed me. I prayed to the Most High to let me die. I left after that. Minutes later. Never looked back.”
Frank wiped the tears cascading down Lisa’s face with the palm of his hand. “I am so sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say. Nothing would undo what was done then. Lisa covered his hand with hers, cradling it to her face, while she wept softly. “No one will ever hurt you again.”
She gently kissed the inside of his palm before letting his hand drop to his lap. “I am okay. That hurt, and I admit that it has affected my decisions, but I feel free now that I have shared it with you. This space between us feels . . . safer than it did before.”
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