by Dee, Cara
Gray closed his eyes right away and didn’t bother following Darius’s stare. “Is he wearing a Trident windbreaker and a red baseball cap?”
“How did—”
“It’s Craig. My old coach.” Gray studiously ignored that half of the rink and focused on the guys. He didn’t know how he felt, only that he’d been hoping to avoid seeing the man ever again. It was embarrassing.
“Ah. Oh. You mean…”
“Yup. Him.” Gray wrung his hands and cracked his knuckles. His assertiveness took a nose dive, and he fucking hated it. He didn’t even know why. Craig meant nothing to him anymore. “I don’t know how to act. He doesn’t have a place in my life—I don’t care about him—but everything got so ugly back then.”
“He’s part of your past.”
“I wish he’d stay there,” Gray groused.
Darius snorted softly and slid in front of him, hands on Gray’s shoulders. “I know what you should do. Tell me to kiss you.”
Gray’s eyebrows flew up, and he let out a small laugh of confusion. “What? I don’t need a pretend boyfriend to get over someone I’m not even into.”
Darius inched closer, his eyes brimming with secrecy. Like he knew something no one else knew. “There’s nothing pretend about us, knucklehead.” He leaned in, and Gray’s breath hitched. Was he for real? With what he’d said? “Tell me to kiss you,” he murmured.
Gray swallowed dryly. “Kiss me.”
Darius shifted his hands to Gray’s hips and covered his mouth with his own, and a storm of emotions swirled around him. Gray didn’t know what to think or what to do, but one thing was for sure. The moment became perfect as they kissed each other slowly to the background sound of Jayden and Justin laughing at the twins’ theatrics. Justin scored a goal, Gabriel pretended to be mad, Gideon whooped, and Jayden shouted in triumph. All while Gray fucking melted in Darius’s arms.
“I’m losing my head over you, Darius,” Gray chuckled weakly. “Don’t fucking play with me.”
“I’m not playing. If anything, I’m sick of it. I’m so over pretending that I only wanna be near you during your recovery, when—fuck. When I’m pretty sure I’ll never be able to let you go.”
Gray fisted the front of Darius’s hoodie and screwed his eyes shut, feeling months of tension rolling off him in waves. Then he kissed Darius deeply until he could form words like a normal being.
“No more pretending.” He spoke in between hard kisses. “And let me know if you’re a flight risk. I’ll tie you to a pole on the porch.”
Darius smiled into the kiss and cupped Gray’s cheek. “I’m not the runner, baby. I’m all in.”
Gray couldn’t describe what a rush it was to hear that. “For us, I can be a fighter.”
Darius’s gaze grew shiver-inducingly hot, and he gave Gray a swift, firm kiss. “Exactly what I needed to hear—”
“Coach!” Gideon yelled. “Come meet the next NHL generation!”
Gray groaned internally and dropped his forehead to Darius’s sternum.
Darius shook with silent laughter. “I guess he didn’t go away.”
Guess not…
“I’ll hold my possessiveness at bay,” he promised.
That made Gray feel much better, and he managed a wicked a smirk. “Unleash it on my ass tonight, Big Daddy.”
Darius narrowed his eyes at him, and Gray laughed as he skated toward the boys.
The roller coaster ride of emotions that was his life nowadays continued to wear him out, but God. Right this second, the happiness that fluttered in his system was a high he didn’t mind staying on for a while. Maybe it would even provide some cushion for his next drop.
When Jayden spotted him, he began making kissy faces in the air. “Are you done sucking face?”
Gray coughed around a laugh.
Craig was walking across the ice, and he’d reached the center line, making it easier for Gray to observe him discreetly. He’d sort of expected a physical reaction to seeing Craig after so long, especially given how he’d felt toward the man—or thought he had—before he was taken last fall. Instead, there was nothing. Nothing at all. No hidden affection, no wistfulness, no hurt, no resentment, not even an ounce of anything close to bittersweet.
It was a relief.
Craig had lost a few pounds. His dark hair was combed neatly underneath the same cap he always wore. He looked pretty much the same, and Gray wondered what kind of spell he’d been under to pine over this man for so long. He was handsome, sure, but… Well, Gray was under another man’s spell now, and he much preferred Darius’s well-worn jeans, leather jackets, and Wagoneer over Craig’s khakis, windbreaker, and Camry.
Justin pushed his traffic cone past Gray, skating quickly toward Darius, and Gray watched the boy sign something.
“Of course, I’ll help you.” Darius met Gray’s curious look. “He needs to go to the bathroom. We’ll be back in a bit.”
“Ah, okay.” Needing something to do, Gray skated over to Gideon and stole his stick. “I wonder if you should try a stick that’s lighter.” He loaded the puck onto the blade, dropped it back on the ice, and fired at the net.
“I wasn’t ready!” Gabriel defended.
“And you’re hoping to get drafted this year,” Gray chuckled.
Gideon stuck on the stick topic. “Really? Lighter?” That was the moment Craig reached them, and Gid offered him a nod. “Hey, Coach. Gray thinks I should try a lighter stick.”
Gray straightened and rested his forearm on the top of the stick. “Just sayin’. I increased the speed of my shots significantly when I switched to a lighter, more flexible one.”
“Hm.” Gideon grabbed the stick and went for the puck. “They break so fucking fast, though.”
“Only if you can’t control your temper,” Gray replied. “Borrow some of mine at Mom’s and see for yourself. Especially the Vapor and the Trigger Aiden got me last summer.”
“The Vapor is a good one,” Craig said with a nod.
Interesting. His voice didn’t make an impact either.
Gideon turned pensive and practiced a few shots while Jayden watched, utterly intrigued. And it gave Gray no choice but to face his former coach.
“Long time, no see,” he said lamely.
Craig mustered a small smile, and his dark eyes became misty. “I’m so glad you’re home, Gray. I thought I was going to lose my mind when…”
Gray cleared his throat and shifted awkwardly. He didn’t want this to drag out or get serious.
“I moved out of the house,” Craig admitted. “When you went missing, I couldn’t hide my worry for you. She caught on, and I said I wanted a divorce.”
“All right.” Gray folded his arms over his chest and side-eyed Jayden. He was busy cheering for Gabriel when he caught Gid’s pucks.
“You’ve moved on,” Craig stated quietly. “I can see it in you.”
Gray nodded with a dip of his chin. “I’m not the same guy anymore.”
“And you’re with someone…” Craig glanced toward the exit.
“Darius—yeah.” Gray couldn’t hide his happiness completely. “It’s new, but…yeah. He knows me better than anyone.”
Craig stuck his hands down into his pockets and stared at his feet. “I had a feeling I’d lost my chance. I made you wait too long.”
“You did a lot more than that.” Gray frowned. Just because he didn’t feel anything didn’t mean the man couldn’t evoke fierce reactions, and if Craig thought all he’d done was keep Gray waiting…? Hell, did Gray have news for him. “I tried repeatedly to move on—for fuck’s sake, I quit the team—and you insisted on pulling me back. Constant texting, empty promises, pathetic love declarations—all while you stayed with your wife. I was a mess.”
Craig cringed and took a step back. “You’re right. I know, you’re right. I was a coward—a desperate fool.”
Darius and Justin were on their way back.
Gray wanted this to be over. At least this was one thing he could leav
e behind. “Get out of the closet, Craig. You’re just gonna die miserable and full of regrets if you don’t stop hiding who you are.”
Craig drew a deep breath and nodded once, and then he must’ve spotted Darius, because he straightened and composed his expression. “I’m sorry for how I treated you, Gray. I really am. You deserve much better than that.”
Gray lost some of the tension in his shoulders. “Thank you.”
Craig offered a final nod, and that was it. He walked over to the twins and told them to go home and get something to eat, ’cause he wanted them sharp for practice in a few hours.
A breath gusted out of Gray, and he ran a hand through his hair.
That was one chapter of his life he could finally close.
Gray didn’t know what side of Justin they saw at the shelter, but the boy hadn’t been remotely close to being difficult all day. Sure, they had to get creative with communication at times, but so what? Justin needed time to adjust, that was all.
He was beyond adorable, and even more so after they’d eaten at Darius’s restaurant.
The fish camp stayed true to its theme, and the interior consisted of fishnets in the ceiling, wooden barrels under the tabletops, tea lights in little bowls filled with sea glass, old photos of fishing boats and crews on the walls, and a ship’s wheel above the register behind the bar. It was cozy and not too loud, thanks to the establishment being divided into two sections, cut off in the middle by the bar and the entrance. One side was reserved for a bar crowd, and the other was for dinner guests.
Having wanted to stay close to Darius, Gray and the boys had chosen the far corner of the bar. Additionally, it was too early for the bar crowd, so Darius wasn’t overly busy.
They’d brought Justin’s booster seat for Jayden to sit better on his stool, whereas Justin himself had opted to sit on Gray’s lap, where he was now asleep.
Definitely no complaints from Gray. Justin’s legs hung limply off each side of Gray’s lap, and even his little sneakers were fucking cute.
“Told you he sleeps early,” Jayden said, finishing the last of his fries. “Can I eat his fish sticks?”
“Dig in.” Gray switched their plates, glad that Jayden had a strong appetite.
He had a particularly big appetite for ketchup.
Darius came back after having poured a bunch of beers for some dinner guests on the other side of the bar. “What’s the verdict, guys?”
“Amafing,” Jayden said around a mouthful of food.
Gray grinned at him before shifting his gaze to Darius. “Best flounder I ever had.” He wasn’t lying either. He’d always liked fish, and everything on the menu had sounded fantastic. The smell of grilled fish continued to give him glimpses of a past he’d rather forget, but it was getting easier.
“Good, I’m glad.” Darius took the two empty plates and set them under the bar. “It’s one of the handful of original recipes I started the restaurant with.”
“Family recipe?” Gray wondered.
“Aye, from my grandfather.” Darius popped open a beer and set it in front of Gray. “Try that one. I’ve noticed you’re picky about beer.”
“I prefer the lighter types,” Gray admitted with a nod. He took a whiff from the bottle, then a tentative sip. And it was good. Damn, it was really good. Very light, probably from a local brewery, and it had a faint aftertaste of citrus. “I like this. What is it?”
“Sample from a place nearby,” Darius answered. “We need a few kinds for the summer menu. I figured one with lemon and elderberry should appeal to, uh…” He trailed off, and it was so comical that Gray had to laugh.
“To women?” he prodded in amusement.
“Well. Yeah.” Darius leaned back against the counter and appeared to be smothering a smirk.
Gray shrugged. “I like rum. And gin. And tequila sometimes.”
“Me too—but hold the tequila. I can’t handle it anymore,” Darius chuckled, then shifted his smile to Jayden. “You too full for ice cream, champ?”
“No!” Jayden assured. “I love ice cream, ’specially strawberry.”
Gray grinned against the top of Justin’s hair and stroked the soft locks.
“I’ll make sure to tell the guys in the kitchen.” Darius winked. Then he must’ve caught something behind them, because he looked toward the entrance and lifted his brows. “I see the cat dragged in something foul. Why do you look so constipated? Are you drinking your revolting wheatgrass shots again?”
It was Ethan.
“Just pour me a drink,” he grumbled. He looked tired and irritated. He chose a seat around the short end of the bar, next to Gray. “Hey.” He managed a somewhat polite nod at Gray and Jayden.
“That’s Ethan, one of Darius’s brothers,” Gray explained to Jayden.
Jayden nodded slowly and scrunched his nose. “Okay.”
Darius found something funny about the kid’s reaction. “All right, so what’s got your panties in a twist, little brother?”
The two brothers looked a lot alike, at the same time as they were night and day. Ethan was much more polished, but almost in a forced way. Gray couldn’t describe it. The man was clean-shaven, wore dress pants and a form-fitting button-down, his slightly wavy hair looked neat, and his fingernails were weirdly flawless. Did he get manicures? For putting an obvious abundance of time and effort into his appearance, especially with his athletic build, he didn’t look comfortable.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Ethan said, accepting a screwdriver from Darius. “Is it fresh squeezed and organic?”
Darius pointed to the bar. “I’ll ban you from the bar if you ever utter that sentence again, you fucking diva.”
Gray choked on a laugh, and Jayden snickered behind his hand.
Ethan clenched his jaw and took a sip from the drink.
In the end, he did want to talk about his troubles, which apparently involved overhearing a client of his at the grocery store saying that men who shaved their chests were ridiculous. At that point, Gray exchanged a look with Darius, and it was almost too funny. But Ethan was oblivious. He started a rant about how he was a perfect ten, and what the fuck did his client know? Then he turned to Gray, with a straight face, and asked for his opinion, since he was “gay and all.”
“Jesus Christ,” Darius griped. “Can you read the room, or have you completely lost your marbles?”
“What?” Ethan frowned.
Gray didn’t mind. He merely smiled at Ethan. “As the obvious professional on dudes here right now,” he said cockily, “I’m gonna say that your client is right. Men in their fifties definitely shouldn’t shave their chests.”
The look on Ethan’s face…
It took everything for Gray not to break into hysterics. He knew very well that Ethan was a couple years younger than Darius’s forty-three. Well, forty-four soon.
“Men in their fifties…?” Ethan rasped.
That set Darius off. He howled with laughter.
Jayden laughed because Darius laughed.
“I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t offend,” Gray said quickly. “You look hella good for a man your age.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, I can’t,” Darius guffawed. “I’ll be back with your ice cream, buddy.” He walked toward the end of the bar, still laughing, and pushed the gate open. The kitchen must’ve been around a corner there somewhere.
Gray’s chest expanded with a rush of happiness. It’d been a terrific day, and he’d never heard Darius laugh so uninhibitedly before. It was a gorgeous sound.
Ethan chugged his screwdriver.
“I’m looking forward to meeting the rest of your family,” Gray said.
“Great. Then you can be there when Darius retells everyone about today for years to come,” Ethan muttered. “I can never catch a break.”
Gray’s brows went up. He could never catch a break…? Sweet Jesus. Not to quote Darius or anything, but seriously, read the damn room, man.
Nevertheless, Gray enjoyed the moment and to
ok a swig of his beer. For one day, for one early evening, he got to feel almost normal. Here he was, drinking beer in the bar where his boyfriend worked, he had two adorable boys to look after, and he’d been slinging jokes like he used to back in the day.
It was a wonder that Justin slept peacefully through the ruckus.
Seventeen
“Baby, wake up.”
Gray groaned and turned over, burying his face in a pillow that smelled like Darius. “Not yet… Where are you?”
“Willow texted.”
That worked better than a bucket of cold water, and the thought forced a memory upon him. The memory of having ice-cold water thrown in his face, then the feeling of the wet, scratchy, rough material of the burlap sack over his head, then the smells of mildew and piss…
Gray grunted and shoved the memory aside along with the covers, and he rolled out of bed, scrubbing at his face.
Fuck.
“Willow texted…?” Gray mumbled and squinted.
Darius was getting dressed. “She found the buyer’s other location. I’m heading over to her right now.”
Gray went over to the rocking chair and grabbed a pair of jeans from the other day. “I’ll come with you.”
Was this finally it? Could Jackie’s suffering be over soon?
Gray needed a miracle.
Once they’d gotten dressed, they gathered their wallets, phones, and keys, then headed downstairs and were out the door within a minute. Gray sensed the urgency in Darius and hoped this was really the moment they’d been waiting for. The moment they’d been training for.
There’d been something every day, be it cardio by doing yardwork, martial arts, or target practice with one of Darius’s handguns. Out here, no one would hear anything anyway. And the man had, like, eight different guns, three of which were rifles. Growing up in Washington, in a town where hunting was popular, Gray wasn’t unfamiliar with them, but he’d never owned a gun himself.
“You drive.” Darius tossed the keys to Gray. “I’m gonna call Willow once I have reception.”
Gray nodded and got in behind the wheel. Too bad the cabin’s Wi-Fi didn’t extend past the property line.
