Once again the room fell silent. There were no words for what we had discovered. Celestria was holding back tears, biting her lip and trying everything to remain calm. In a way I understood why the truth was horrifying. The body she had found in the woods was the one that had been buried, the one that haunted her memory. If my father had played a nasty trick like that I did not know if I could forgive him. I was certain Alaire was thinking likewise; we had seen enough death to know it was not something that should be faked.
Rubbing her forehead, Celestria said, “I have to find her.”
Alaire and I exchanged concerned looks.
“There's no date on this letter, and judging from when she gave it to me, it isn't recent,” she insisted. Her determination to be reunited with her sister did not come across as a shock. They were family, and Dyanna had been her only true ally before the world fell apart. However, France was far too dangerous for our kind when they were at war.
“We can't risk traveling to France when it's a war-zone. Magicians do not interfere with human wars just as they are forbidden to interfere with ours,” I said.
Celestria snatched the letter from Alaire and carefully folded it. At a loss of words, I glanced to Alaire in hope that he could convince her with his charm that for now we had to wait. He watched her fold up the paper, never taking his eyes off of her. Now and then he would open his mouth, but then he would close it before saying anything. Why was it that the person closest to her found it the most difficult to speak?
Spit it out already, old man. I thought as I painfully witnessed his failed attempts.
Several minutes passed, and then he finally said, “Dyanna is important to all of us, and I promise I would never stop you from reuniting with her. For now, though, all I ask is that you wait until it's safe. We can't send you out into a war with your condition as it is.”
There was no response, but Celestria moved his hand so that she could lay down on a pillow. At any moment Gavril would stop in to check on his patient. Considering the amount of time he had been gone, he was most likely preparing herbs or restocking his supplies.
In a low voice, she responded, “I thought you would understand... Please let me rest; I have a lot on my mind.”
I stood up and held out my hand. Alaire ignored the gesture and slowly slid out of the bed. Grabbing the cane by the nightstand, he limped to the door and clutched the doorknob. I followed behind, but he hesitated like it would be a sin to leave the room. According to Daciana, Celestria had been with Alaire after his accident as often as possible. It made sense to return the favor, but Alaire also hadn't taken any time to think about himself. There were enough people in the house to keep Celestria protected. Once he opened the door we walked toward the staircase. The maids were out of earshot, and thus I took advantage of the opportunity to speak what was on my mind.
“I'm tired of secrets. Esmour had hundreds for all we know, and that left him alone in the end. I don't want deceit tearing us apart from each other,” I said.
Alaire stopped at the top of the staircase and faced me. “I've never told anyone outside of Destin about what we did. Some stories are better left untold.”
“You'd prefer to keep Celestria in the dark?” I asked, staring blankly at him. The only way to convince Celestria to stay was by expressing the dangers we were facing now. She and I had probably been seen by a majority of the White magicians in Belsgar, and it was only a matter of time before we were fully exposed.
Sighing, I decided to tell him about the funeral. “Christopher was at Aldemund's funeral. I thought he died in Belsgar, but he's alive and has seen both me and Celestria. What are you willing to lose: your secrets or the woman you love?”
He started down the stairs, holding onto the railing for extra support. I followed several steps behind, though I wondered what was going on in his mind. By allowing Celestria to share the secrets we had kept in Destin she wouldn't be left out of anything. We had seen parts of the magical world that she might never experience, and it seemed fair to catch her up. The White magicians did not have time for mercy. When they decided to attack it would be swift and brutal, and we needed to be prepared for the worst.
As we reached the bottom of the staircase Alaire remained silent. It was not until we reached the last step that he finally spoke up, though he stared ahead further into the foyer.
“Don't ever ask me to choose because I would rather lose everything in a heartbeat than ever risk losing her for eternity,” he said gravely. Then he limped across the room to the front door and opened it. Rostland stood outside with his hand raised up to knock on the door. I raced to where they stood, frightened for what reason he would have to show up on my doorstep.
Holding out his hand, he said, “I think you'll want this.”
He grabbed my hand and dropped something tiny and silver into it. I glanced down and gasped, but when I looked up at Rostland again he said nothing. It was a destin ring with a red gemstone. The rarest of rings rested in my palm, appearing to be the perfect size for a woman's finger. No man's secret is kept long before another is discovered.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Rainfall
A lot can be seen from a man's window, but what he will always see without a doubt is his own reflection. It can be a man's greatest enemy or his worst fear. At dawn the next day I stood at the window, watching the raindrops trickle down the glass. I tried to gaze past my own reflection, but the forest also seemed to mirror reflections of myself that I did not have the strength to face. However, I noticed now that there was another reflection entering from behind me. Quickly, I reached for my belt and clutched the hilt of a dagger. Someone had entered into my house unheard, but fortunately they chose the wrong man to challenge. The figure continued approaching, though their identity was hidden by the cloak covering their entire body. My timing had to be exact otherwise the intruder would have the advantage. I counted the seconds passing, trying to distinguish between the rain and the footsteps.
Don't let them lay a hand on Alaire or Celestria. Don't let them step into another part of this house. I thought as I slowly pulled the dagger out of its carrier. Now I could feel the figure breathing against my neck. I didn't understand their plan of attack, but nonetheless there was no place for intruders in my home. There wasn't time to think it through, and thus I quickly turned around, grabbed the figure, and held the dagger against their neck. Pushing back the hood with my free hand, I noticed a thin squirt of blood that had leaked from where I held my weapon. When I looked up at the face of the figure I gasped and loosened my grip on the dagger.
“Nicia... Why did it have to be you?” I asked, debating whether to put my weapon away or if I'd be needing it.
Wincing, she stared at me and said nothing. The blade was too close to her throat that if she moved the slightest inch it would only cut further into her skin. Instead she raised her hand and caressed the arm that held the dagger. Her eyes would not lose contact with mine, and I felt like I was being placed under a spell. It was no witchcraft that made it difficult to breathe much less hold the weapon. At one time the woman in front of me meant everything, and I would have trusted her with my life. Perhaps I would have died by her side had fate not corrupted our lives. Alas, I did not feel the same for the stranger who stood before me. Half of me considered ending it all here in the bedroom. Esmour certainly wouldn't have trusted her, but he also had no idea what it was like to kiss her. My conscience begged for me to go through with the foul act, but my hearty and her touch directed me otherwise. At last I lowered my weapon, and she in return dropped her hand.
“You should know better than to walk into a man's chambers with your identity concealed,” I growled.
Nicia turned her head to look out the window. “The rain is steady, yet there seems to be something that makes it lonely and sorrowful. There have been nights when the rain falls, and then the sadness returns again. Have you noticed that?”
I frowned, watching the drips of blood from the cut fall as quickly and sile
ntly as the raindrops.
“You're bleeding...” I commented, though she smirked at my remarked. Cautiously, I reached out and held two fingers against the cut. The blood soaked into my skin, but it was not enough to forgive what I had done.
With her brows furrowed, Nicia replied, “It's never bothered you before. Have you become ill?”
I held my finger up to her lips, but then I quickly withdrew it upon realizing the red stains it left. Taking another step, I rest my head against hers. Either her heart was beating loudly or mine was pounding twice as hard, but for the time being I didn't care. I closed my eyes and listened to her breathing, and then I raised my hand and guided it through her curly hair. Though I could not see anything, I could have sworn I could feel her lips curving into a smile. The moment felt surreal just as it had the first night I kissed her. Every emotion in my heart led back to her, and there were maddening thoughts running through my head. Every inch of my body yearned for her, even if she was the worst person for me. Miraculously I ignored every desire, every second that burned away by simply standing there with her.
Her voice broke through the silence, and then I realized that I hadn't the slightest clue of how long we had been standing by the window.
“The rain reminds me of you. What will happen when it stops? Will you force me to leave again? I leave, you walk away, and then the rain stops and awaits its precious moment to return,” she whispered.
I hesitated to open my eyes, knowing that once I did everything Nicia had said would happen. It would tear another hole in my heart, but I opened my eyes and looked at her.
“Just like the rain I will always return. When there's a storm I'll be fighting for you,” I replied, smiling while holding back tears.
“I came with every intention to convince you that Rostland can help.” She glanced outside once more and then added, “However, I think you'll see for yourself when the time is right.”
Gracefully she kissed my cheek and exited the room without another word. I watched Nicia leave, remembering what it had been like to sit by the fire with her.
“Only fools fall in love with a woman they cannot have,” I murmured as I dragged my feet across the floor and dropped onto the bed. The room was quiet, but it felt entirely empty.
***
Later in the morning when I awoke the rain had stopped. I approached the window and looked outside, and the sun was beaming through the clouds. I remembered everything Nicia said about the rain, but it could be a while before rainclouds filled the sky again. Someone knocked at the door, and my eyes darted to the chest that had remained on the bed. Before I could move a step toward it the door opened and Celestria stood in the doorway with a wide smile.
“Have I gone mad or did you just walk here alone?” I asked, though I watched the chest in the corner of my eyes.
Then Alaire's head peered around the corner. Even when she was up and walking he still wouldn't leave her side.
“Gavril says that she is well enough to go about normal activities. I thought we could show her around outside,” Alaire explained.
I nodded, noticing that his eyes had the same glimmer of hope as Celestria's. Though I was disturbed that Gavril hadn't reported directly to me, there did not seem to be a reason to say no when Celestria appeared willing to move around.
“I never could say no to a lady,” I said, winking at Celestria.
She turned around and headed to the stairs, and Alaire watched as she left. I had given him the destin ring to protect for the time being. We hadn't discussed what we would do with it yet, but without a doubt it was valuable and could not fall into the wrong hands.
“Should we tell her about the ring?” I asked.
Alaire's glanced lowered. “You were right when you said that we can't hide our secrets. She fought for us; she deserves to know as much as we can tell.”
He gestured for me to follow, and I joined him to catch up with Celestria. She waited at the bottom of the staircase, and I realized her attire had changed. It was a dress I recognized, seeing as it was one of Mama's that she had made over the years. She loved sewing dresses and at one time had sworn she would have a daughter or daughter-in-law who could enjoy the handwork. The dress was dark green, making Celestria's red hair stand out in all of its brilliance.
As we descended the staircase I called out, “Tell me, Celestria, how is your condition?”
The smile on her face instantly faded.
“If I lay in that room for another day I might as well have died. That room is full of pain and death, darkness and nightmares. I wish to see the sunlight again,” she responded.
“As you wish, love,” I said, reaching the last step and silently cursing myself for allowing the last word to slip out.
Alaire offered his arm, Celestria accepted and then offered her free one to me. I took it without question and the three of us walked outside. The fresh air that blew in my face was refreshing. It was too early for locals to be crowding the streets, but merchants were setting up their wagons for another long day of work. I pointed out the trees to Celestria, noting their full and colorful leaves. She laughed, but she led Alaire and me like she knew her away around town. Now and again Alaire would point at a shop or a hovel and explain who it belonged to. All the while Celestria was quieter than usual and seemed to be absorbing the information. She started to circle around town again until we ended up in front of the cemetery. I stopped before the gate and released her arm.
“I remember this place...” she said, though her eyes became alert with the realization.
“All cemeteries look similar,” I reassured her.
Shaking her head, Celestria responded, “No, something led me here before. I... Oh, what was it?”
Alaire also lowered his arm and steadied himself. It was the first time he was walking without the cane, and he was showing signs of being fully recovered. However, his face pinched up and his jaw tightened.
“Was it in a... dream?” he asked.
Saying nothing, Celestria took another step and neither of us tried to stop her. Whatever had drawn her to this place required answers that only she knew how to find. Alaire started following her, glancing back once at me. I debated on whether to join them or not. There would be someone waiting by a gravestone for me, but I was not certain that I could face my father. I hadn't visited him since Malin's disappearance, and I doubted either of them would be proud of the recent choices I made.
“Leal, are you coming?” Celestria called out.
Running ahead, I caught up with them within a minute or two. Celestria's focus was on the gravestones, but I knew it was only a matter of time before we ran into my father's. All the while during her search I remained quiet. Alaire said nothing either, though I imagined that he dreaded this place as much as I did. His mother and sister's graves were at the far end of the cemetery. He had never visited them after the burials, though no one could blame him with a loss like that. I wondered if he had told Celestria about that horrid night or if it was something he kept private. There had been an ongoing search for a few years to find the murderer, but the lack of evidence never pushed the investigation forward.
Everyone suddenly stopped walking, and I realized we were standing at the gravestone I had wanted to avoid. Celestria knelt down and touched it with her hand, tracing over the letters of “Irvine.” Bowing his head, Alaire took several steps back and turned his attention to the graves behind us.
“I've seen this grave before. It appeared in my mind,” she said, rubbing her temple.
“Celestria,” I said as I knelt beside her, “this is my father.”
She winced and grabbed onto the head of the gravestone to keep her balance. I held my hand out behind her in case she fell backwards. Perhaps she wasn't as ready as Gavril thought.
“Do you wish to return to the house? I think we've been outside long enough for today,” I offered.
Celestria shook her head, though her body shook uncontrollably. I feared she was having another e
pisode like before, but when I turned for Alaire's guidance he was already at the opposite end of the cemetery. He seemed to be watching for something, and the only way to gain his attention would involve yelling.
“No, I remember it all... We were dancing,” Celestria insisted.
“You and I have never danced before,” I responded slowly.
Just as I was about to call out for Alaire, a much louder and horrified voice did.
“Alaire!” Celestria screamed, falling back into my arm. I pulled her back so that she was resting against my chest. Once I glanced up I realized Alaire was running toward us, but the look on his face was one I had memorized over the years. There was trouble approaching, and Celestria seemed entirely helpless. I tried to reposition her and move with her body so that we could hide behind the gravestone. A sudden, throbbing pain inserted into my arm, pinning me down to the grown. Whatever the weapon was it had pierced through my skin.
“Leal, I'm coming!” Alaire shouted, though shortly afterward I heard someone gasp and a body hit the floor.
Celestria was lying against me, and if it weren't for her heavy breaths and shaking I might have thought she was dead. I couldn't move, and each time I tried to the pain in my arm became more intense. There was no way for me to determine where Alaire was, but I knew right now my first priority was protecting Celestria.
“Celestria, look at me,” I gasped, attempting to lift her up with my other hand. “Please I need your help.”
She turned toward me with her eyes shut. “My head is spinning... I can't control it.”
Panicking, I decided I would have to see for myself what had struck me down. I stretched my free arm across Celestria, and she slowly inched her body so that I would be able to reach. For an instant her lips brushed against my cheek, but then she turned her head and looked down at my injury.
“It's an arrow, and there's blood,” she said. The shaking seemed to be coming to a halt.
“Take it out,” I replied through gritted teeth.
Shadows and Embers Page 19
