I managed to find some bad hospital coffee and now I take a sip and grimace. I was expecting something too weak, but this is too strong and bitter. I should get up and hunt down some more cream and sugar but I don’t feel like moving.
I reach into my pocket to grab for the rabbit’s foot, but just as quickly I remember I gave it to Alice and smile to myself.
I’m not sure what to do but I don’t feel right going home. I feel as if I’m waiting for something. I think I’m waiting for Alice to ask to see me. Something about that feels right. When my stomach rumbles, I realize I haven’t eaten for way too long. Hospital food is never the greatest but I’m not so picky and Quinton Hospital food really isn’t too bad. I force myself to get up and trudge through the labyrinthine halls, following the arrows to the cafeteria. It’s nice and clean and shiny. I find a decent looking sandwich and a salad and sit and eat, catching up with my emails on my phone. My brothers have texted me a few times. They’ve almost reached the safe-house. It’s sort of a multi-use space; an empty building that can be used for a pack’s needs. I understand a lot of people from Hardwidge slept there before they found new places to live. It’s pretty far outside of town so I expect them to be a while, although apparently they dropped Micah off at his place and Xander and Aaron continued on. That makes me feel better. I might need Micah’s help at some point.
I eat and then walk around to stretch my legs and when I can’t stand to wait anymore, I go to check on Alice. The nurses have my number in case she does ask for me and I have to assume I have not been asked for because they have not called. But I can’t help wanting to see how she’s doing. I make the excuse to myself that I can at least drop off the backpack. Maybe she’ll find that comforting.
They told me what room she would be in and when I find it, I peak in the door and see her sleeping. She looks so peaceful. She’s probably sedated. I hope she’s okay with that. They’ve cleaned her up a lot. Her hair is still dirty but it’s pulled away from her face which has since been washed. There’s a small bandage at her temple and dressings on her wrists. She’s hooked up to IVs.
I don’t want to wake her so I walk in and gently rest the backpack in the chair by her bed.
She’s clutching the rabbit’s foot in one hand and I smile.
I feel like everything is fine. Maybe I’m not nearly as needed as I thought. I should go home maybe? She’s going to be here a few days probably. I think they’re concerned about her mental health more than anything and they’re probably going to give her a more detailed physical exam that should have nothing to do with me.
I have an urge to leave a note or something but the backpack is probably good enough.
I sigh to myself and take one last look at Sleeping Beauty. Her lips are cracked and chapped. She has a black eye and a bandage on her head. She has an ugly scrape on one cheek. She’s pale in her hospital gown as she sleeps. Her hair is lank and limp. But I can tell that she’s lovely.
I hope you made those monsters suffer, Xander, I think. At least half as much as Alice has suffered.
I go home and get some work done. I load the dishwasher and do some laundry. Xander has cleaning staff for his house. It never seemed necessary to me. It’s good for me now anyway, as I pace around and putter and dust and put things away that weren’t really out of place.
I’m waiting for her to tell the nurses to call and worried that she won’t. I brought her in and she has no one else. I can’t imagine she will leave without letting us know at the very least. I doubt there’s a giant wad of cash in that backpack for her to use on a new life.
I just hope she lets us help her.
My phone vibrates and it’s Luna, Micah’s mate. Of course, that’s a good person to be talking to about this. She’s another escapee from Hardwidge, even if it was years ago. Maybe she can shed some light on how this Alice situation should be handled.
“Hi, Luna.”
“Heeey. You found her!”
“Yeah,” I say, nodding, even though she can’t see me. “Finally. I was lucky my brothers decided to help me. The tracking was way too difficult on my own. I should have had them help me before.”
“Hey, the important thing is that she’s safe now. Micah caught me up. But you’re the one at the hospital so…”
I feel a twinge of guilt even though I really didn’t know what else to do. “I actually came home from the hospital? She’s been asleep for a long time and I told them to let me know if she asks for me. I don’t want to, I don’t know… She doesn’t know me, you know what I mean?”
“Yeah, I get that. I’m sure she will ask for you if she really wants to see you. But I think if she doesn’t, you should go back tomorrow?”
“Yeah?” That makes me perk up. I feel as if I’m being given permission to help further. Not that Luna has particularly magical powers on the subject, but I do think I should trust her advice on this kind of thing more than anyone else’s.
“I think you don’t want to smother her,” Luna says carefully. “But she might think she’s bothering you. Putting you out? I mean, believe me, she has been taught her entire life to fend for herself, Mason. She has no idea what asking for help even looks like. You might need to sell her on the very idea, make it very clear that we can all be there for her. I mean, I didn’t think you guys would accept me either. Hardwidge really does a number on a girl.”
“Yeah?” I say, scratching my head. “I mean if you think so, I’d certainly prefer to help her anyway I can, anyway that we can. I just don’t want to be presumptuous.”
“Mason,” Luna says, laughing a little. “You’re a thoughtful guy. I think you’re probably the most empathetic of your brothers. Which makes you the perfect person to be a friend to this woman right now. But don’t overthink it. She has no one but us. She’s trusted you this far. You should definitely presume until she tells you otherwise.”
“Okay,” I say firmly. “Thanks for that. I’ll take your advice.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to go back down there this second,” Luna says. “But I’d go in the morning.”
“Okay,” I say, nodding. “That makes sense. I’ll only go tonight if they call me first.”
Luna lets me go and I feel better about things with some idea of a plan and advice from somebody who has some first hand knowledge about what somebody just escaped from Hardwidge might be feeling and needing. Thank goodness for Luna.
My phone is practically attached to my hand but I eat a snack and watch the news and take calls from my brothers who catch me up on things once they’re on their way back. Two alphas from other Washington packs are going to handle Alice’s captors. I learn that one is Jason, Alice’s brother. He was devoted to Dax and stuck on the idea of rebuilding Hardwidge even without him. He intended to make Alice the mate of his friend, Kyle, some low level toady. I suspect that eventually they’ll be put on some kind of probation with a pack that’s hopefully as far away from Alice as possible, given what Micah reported to Xander about their treatment of her. They will likely be kept under guard while they make restitution for a couple years at least. That’s the closest thing to prison shifters have for themselves. Some wolves can be exiled for crimes against their own pack but it would be stupid to let such a large number of these Hardwidge wolves go free only to wreak havoc just like they were taught to by Dax and others before him.
The hospital doesn’t call and I find myself a little disappointed. I kind of wanted to have a reason to run down there and check on Alice again. I wonder if she’s been sedated or sleeping all day. It sounded like they wanted to give her x-rays just in case once we told them she had probably never seen a doctor in her life and lived in rough conditions.
I stay up until three in the morning just in case they call me and I miss it, the phone in my lap as I barely pay attention to cable news and look at stocks. I manage to fall asleep on the couch and have dreams of following Alice’s scent to the cave, only to find it empty. I’ve missed her. I never found her. I’ve fail
ed.
At six in the morning, I jerk awake and I can’t get back to sleep again. I take a shower and when I check my phone again, still wrapped in a towel, I see a voicemail from the hospital.
Alice is asking for me.
Chapter Six: Alice
The problem is that I do want Mason to come because Mason is the one I talked to on the phone all those weeks ago and Mason is the one who found me in the cave. I learned his scent when he carried me to the car through the woods. It was a long walk. I was too out of my mind to appreciate how hard it must have been. I’m still pretty out of my mind. That’s the thing. I want to see him but I don’t want to see him. He’ll think I’m crazy and too much trouble. The nurses tell me he promised he’d return. I hold onto that. I try to live moment by moment. I’m in this comfy bed and people are here feeding me. I don’t know how things work in this world. I mean of course, I know about money and credit cards and all that stuff. I know the basics, I think. We did see the real world in bits and pieces. Sometimes I managed to get my hands on some cash and go into town with Andy and a few other wolves who we didn’t like but had to tag along with if we wanted to go down and buy candy and whatever treats we could find cheaply at the gas station or something. That was when I was little. And it was rare. Most of the time we had to hunt for our food and if we couldn’t hunt, we didn’t eat after a certain age.
“Sweetie?” One of the nurses comes around to face me because I’ve curled up to face the window opposite the door. “We called Mr. Tremblay, he said he’s going to come as soon as he can.”
I don’t know what time it is but the light from the window looks like morning. Isn’t that too early? Am I bothering him? I must be. I don’t say that. I really haven’t said much that wasn’t screaming.
But my head feels a little clearer now. I think the sedatives are wearing off. I heard them say they didn’t want to give me anymore. I hope I don’t have more nightmares or hallucinate.
When the nurse leaves I fall back to sleep again and since the sedatives have worn off, when I have nightmares this time I can’t stop screaming and thrashing.
I feel like I’m looking down from outside of my body when I shove the nurses away and kick a doctor in the stomach and then they’re strapping my hands down to the bed and it’s just like the cave and when I shut my eyes again, I’m back there.
So I don’t stop screaming.
They won’t let me go! They’ve got me and they won’t let me go!
I exhaust myself and fall asleep and when I wake up again, I can’t move and the room is dark. Jason and Kyle have got me all over again and I shake my head as I cry out. I must have imagined it all. I hallucinated Mason Tremblay and his soft expression as he knelt before me, so gentle as he freed me. Nobody’s ever been so gentle. Of course, I must have imagined it.
My mind feels so muddled like everything is foggy. Maybe it’s because I’m hungry or thirsty. My heart won’t stop pounding. I shut my mouth, biting down hard on my lip until I can’t stand it. If I make too much noise, Jason might get angry. But it’s hard not to pull on my restraints at least. I want to curl up on my side and I can’t. I can’t move at all.
I feel as if I’m stuck in the dark and there’s a light somewhere that I’m missing; a way out of the cave. If I could just move. My wrists are sore but I pull and pull, whimpering but trying not to cry out too loud as I shake my head.
“Please,” I murmur. “Please, please…”
The light comes on and it hurts my eyes. It must be Jason and I try to ball myself up and make myself small, but I can’t, I can’t move…
“It’s okay, it’s okay, sweetie. We couldn’t sedate you anymore is all-”
“No! No no no no!”
She’s trying to lie to me. My mind feels hot. I remember once when I was sick as a little girl and my mom was still around at Hardwidge and she took care of me. My mind feels like it did then; like it’s too hot and everything is mixed up.
“Where’s the nice wolf?” I say, choking on my own tears. It feels good to cry, the tears making hot, salty streaks on my face. Jason will hear me but I don’t care, I don’t care, I want him. I want the nice wolf from the dream to come back and be sweet to me. “Please, bring him back. I’m sorry, I’ll do whatever you want. Please… Please please…”
I don’t know how much time passes. I keep hoping if I’m quiet again, Jason will bring me some food. He can’t just want me to die. What good am I then? I’m supposed to be Kyle’s mate. Shouldn’t they want me strong?
Then you must shift, I think. The thought creeps up like some forgotten creature in the corner and it makes me want to cry all over again. I forgot. I forgot that I can’t shift and that’s why they’re so angry. I have to concentrate and calm down and then maybe I can shift and they’ll let me hunt and I’ll eat and feel better. Maybe I can eventually get away. I tried to run a few times and they kept catching me. Jason was always a pretty good tracker.
“What’s happened to her?”
The voice sounds far away. It sounds familiar and I shut my eyes, trying to concentrate. Where is it coming from? Somewhere in the woods? Am I imagining it?
“Why have you got her restrained? What’s the meaning of this?”
There’s a jumble of voices. I try to twist and turn, pulling on the ropes. Where is he? It was the nice wolf, I think. I must be dreaming again. I try to listen for that voice again, like seeking out fresh water.
“Let her go! Immediately. Take those awful restraints off right this instant! Don’t you know she was just held captive? What on earth were you all thinking?”
“She was thrashing around, sir, and we couldn’t sedate her anymore-”
“Because she’s terrified can’t you see that? I want those restraints removed and I want to see her immediately. I never pull this card, ma’am, but there is a wing of this hospital named after my family.”
“Yes…”
“Why are you still standing here? Take off those goddamn restraints!”
I shut my eyes tighter, trying to slip into the dream. The nice wolf is coming to let me go. He’ll make Jason and Kyle go away. The dark turns red in my eyes. The sun must be blazing out, lighting up the cave. But I want to go back into the dream…
“Okay sweetie, we’re going to take off these restraints before Mason Tremblay here blows a gasket. I’m sorry about these, sweetie…”
Somebody’s taking away the ropes but even that is frightening and I flinch at the brush of skin against my wrists. Somebody is murmuring and making shushing noises. I feel my wrists free and realize finally that there are bandages on them. That’s familiar… I forgot about that. Everything is so confused.
Mason Tremblay…
Mason, the nice wolf, who promised to find me. Mason, like the name on those jars. My mother used to drink out of them. She kept jars of booze hidden way when she needed it but then she left and let me alone with Jason and the rest. I think I could find her if I looked. I’m sure she wanted me to find her…
“Shh shh.” The woman is brushing my hair back. My feet are free and I curl up on my side. I’m in that comfy bed. That’s right, I did get out… Didn't I? It’s all confused. “Oh sweetie, it’s alright now. It’s alright. Would you like to see your friend? Mr. Tremblay’s come down to see you?”
I crack open an eye and the light is so bright, I shut it again.
“Do you know where you are, sweetie?” The woman says. She’s not Jason or Kyle or the nice wolf… I did get out, didn’t I…? “You’re in the hospital, okay? Your friend found you and brought you here. You’ve been here a couple days, okay?”
My friend? I don’t have any friends except for Andy and I was always the one trying to look after him, not the other way around.
“Do you want to see him?” The woman says. I open my eyes again and clench my fists, willing myself to keep them open this time and get used to the light. “Do you want to see your friend, Mason?”
Mason Tremblay, the nice wolf.
“That’s it, sweetie,” she says. “Breathe. Good, just like that. You’re alright.”
The woman is a nurse and I’m in the hospital because Mason Tremblay brought me here and all of that dream was real.
“Rabbit foot,” I whisper. “Where…?”
“Oh yes! Let’s see, where is it now?” The nurse is looking around and picks something up off the floor. She presses the rabbit’s foot into my hand and I grab it, sighing at the familiarity of the soft fur and the cool metal of the keychain. The rabbit’s foot tells me what’s real. I should have had it in my hand before and I would have known.
“Do you want to see Mason Tremblay then?” The nurse says. “Or should I send him away.”
I’m facing the window. The blinds are open and it’s light out. I can see trees outside and the mountains beyond where I was alone and scared in the cave. It helps that I can see it. I know I’m not there anymore.
“Mason,” I whisper. “Yes. Please. Don’t send him away.”
“Okay.” She pets my hair. It’s hard not to flinch from her but the touch is soft. “And I’ll get you some ice chips okay sweetie.”
I should be embarrassed, I think. My head is starting to clear a little. I was completely mad with fear and it made everything mixed up. But I remember now how Mason came, just like I kept hoping he would. I also remember who he is. He’s rich and so well respected. He’s the opposite of anyone from Hardwidge. And his brother is married to that girl, Luna. She was from Hardwidge but she got out a long time ago. She was strong enough to get out and I wasn’t…
I hear footsteps and I tense up a little. Mason Tremblay approaches slowly, coming around to sit in the chair next to me a couple feet away. He blocks the view of the mountain, but that’s okay too. I want to know it’s far away but I don’t want to stare at it either.
“Hi there, Alice,” Mason says softly. “They said you were asking for me. I tried to get here as quickly as I could.”
I swallow. My throat is so dry. I feel as if I haven’t talked properly in a year. “Hi.”
Mason's Mate Page 4
