Anders’s heart rate increased. “What did he do to you, Liv?” he growled. If he fucking touched her, Anders would kill him the next time he saw him.
“Nothing too serious. He grabbed me, hard enough to leave nasty bruises, but I managed to somehow . . . I don’t know . . . I managed to push him over. It gave me enough time to get in the car and drive home. I was so shaken up that Dad knew something was wrong. When I told him, we called the police and I arranged for a civil temporary restraining order that lasted fourteen days. Then we got a permanent one, which is what he violated today.”
“How does this link to your dad’s death, Liv?”
“We had the hearing for the permanent restraining order, and it was tough because Harding was determined to defend himself. He listed all the ways we’d ruined his life, how I was the one at fault, how it wasn’t clear-cut. He singled me out, threatened to sue Dad, even though I now know Dad had taken out a loan to pay him off. The judge agreed with me and I got my restraining order, but it was a tough morning. Dad died the next day.”
He placed his hand on her head and held her tenderly to his chest. “Oh, Liv. What a fucking ordeal you’ve all been through. What does it mean for the restraining order that he assaulted you today?”
“I’m not sure. I think the fact we saw each other accidentally would have been fine if he’d just turned around and walked away. Accidental violations are a thing, and you and I only made plans to get together for lunch this morning, so it’s not like he planned to be there. It was as if, once he saw me, he couldn’t let go. He’s still so angry, Anders. I don’t know how to help him with that.”
“The fact you can even think about him is one of the reasons I love you, Liv. You have a heart as big as a hockey arena. But you need to be that compassionate about yourself. You need to work through all this guilt. To live in the present, you need to cut yourself free of all the anchors holding you in the past.”
Olivia sighed. “You’re right. I need to tell Jake and Emerson. I asked Dad not to tell them about the restraining order. And when he died, we were all dealing with so much that it didn’t seem fair to burden them with even more.” She looked around, suddenly aware they were in the bathroom and were sitting on the floor. “Is your hand okay?”
Anders held it up, twisting it back and forth in the dim light before flexing his fingers into a fist. “I don’t think anything’s broken, but the hand has lots of little bones in it. Hopefully I just need some physical therapy to get the blood flowing.”
“Are you worried about what this will mean for your deal?”
He shook his head, surprised at how easily the answer came.
“Why not?”
Olivia placed her hand on the sink and pulled herself up and Anders joined her. He placed his bruised hand on her cheek and kissed her deeply. “Because this is how we do it.”
“How we do what?”
“This is how we live in the moment, Liv. An issue comes up, we deal with it, no matter how ugly it is. We put it in the sunlight and work through it.”
“I love you, Anders.” Olivia wrapped her hands tightly around his waist and he bit back a groan. While Harding had been easy to subdue, he’d gotten a couple of good punches to Anders’s ribs.
The pain was worth it to know she was safe. “I love you too.”
“Nice place,” Jake said, as he walked into Anders’s home and pulled Olivia into a protective hug. “Lucy, you got some ’splainin’ to do.”
“I know.”
When Jake released her, Emerson stepped up and placed her hands on Olivia’s shoulders. Emerson’s eyes roamed over her face as if looking for visible signs of injury, blanching when she saw the marks on Olivia’s throat and bruise on her cheek. “Are you sure you’re okay and don’t need to get checked out by the doctor or something?”
Olivia smiled softly. “I’m fine, Em. Save your mothering for Anders. He’s in worse shape than I am.”
“I’m glad he was there for you, Liv. Is he here?”
She shook her head. “No, he left for the training facility about an hour ago to get his hand checked out. Hopefully he’ll be home soon. They fought, Em. Like throwing punches and ending up on the ground.”
Emerson moved out of the way so Connor could see her. “I’m sure he didn’t have much choice, Liv. I’ve seen the guy play hockey and he has an inexplicable ability to control his temper. Don’t blame him for it.”
“I don’t. I mean . . . I just wish it hadn’t come to that. He can’t even play tonight.”
“The fact he committed to defending you like that makes me like him even more,” Jake said.
Olivia pointed them in the direction of the large family room. Two cream sofas flanked an unlit fireplace with a large table between them. Opposite the fire were two soft, leather chairs the color of cognac. Jake sat in one of the chairs, Emerson settled next to Connor on one sofa. Olivia perched on a seat across from them.
Emerson leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees. “Do you want to start by telling us why there was a restraining order we knew nothing about?”
It would be easier to get to what she really wanted to tell her siblings if Olivia got that out of the way first, so she relayed everything she’d shared with Anders to them.
“You remember how Dad was, right? Just before he died? And now we know all this other stuff, about the loan, about paying off Harding and others. About the insurance being denied. I just added to Dad’s pressure. I can’t help but think this was the icing on the cake.”
Jake leaned back in the chair. “It was a perfect storm, Liv . . . no pun intended. No one thing on its own would have caused Dad’s death. And let’s not forget that the autopsy also said he had underlying medical conditions that said he was a ticking time bomb anyway. Hardened arteries, cholesterol. Even without the stress, he was heading for a heart attack. You can’t blame yourself.”
Emerson looked at Connor, who nodded silently at her, encouraging her to say whatever was on her mind. “I fought with Dad. I guess it was the afternoon after the two of you had gone to your permanent restraining order hearing. I was mad we were in a mess. I begged him to take out a loan, not knowing he already had. It got loud and angry. He basically dismissed me from his office. I was so furious. But I hated being at odds with him, so the day he died, I came over to the house and had breakfast with him. You were still sleeping, Liv. We talked. I didn’t agree, but I understood it was his company and he needed to do what he saw fit with it. We made our peace. But for the longest time I wondered whether that conversation was the thing that brought on the heart attack. So, I understand what you’re saying.”
Olivia took a moment before she responded. She needed to find the right words to explain what she was feeling. “Maybe you do. But I see things a little differently. What you were doing when you tried to convince him to invest was in the best interests of the distillery. The stresses I caused Dad were different. With Anders’s help, I’m making my peace with the fact that the root cause of all this was the storm, and not my fault. But I still carry a lot of guilt for what happened next.”
“Walk me through it, Liv,” Jake said. “Because I don’t think we see it the same way you do. As soon as we got the notification about the building, you immediately started work on plans, right? You gave Harding options . . . a slimmed down reception in the tasting rooms or a full-size reception at another hotel. You issued an amazing publicity release that was clear and concise. You contacted pending brides and grooms with a clear action plan of how you were going to help them. And you helped about seventy percent find an alternate venue, for which they were eternally grateful.”
Emerson nodded in agreement. “You probably don’t remember because of the haze you were in at the time, so I’m going to find all the letters and emails of gratitude from the brides and grooms who thought you handled things brilliantly. It’s all about perspective, Liv. You were never going to please everyone, but you certainly helped the majority.”
&nbs
p; “And for what it’s worth, I know I haven’t known you very long, and your sister will likely kill me for saying this, but you are too good for the distillery,” Connor said. “You should be at a major ad firm. You’ve been managing such a mixed portfolio of work. Events management, social media management, marketing, branding, and campaign design. You have a creative eye and the practical skills to pull campaigns together. I don’t know why you continually doubt your skills and talent. You need to let go of last year. Put it to bed and let it be the year you never talk about again. I’m not talking about burying it. Just deal with the guilt and let go.”
Olivia rolled her eyes. “You sound just like Anders.”
“Who sounds just like Anders?” Anders said, walking into the family room.
“Connor.” Olivia noted his hand was bandaged up, and it looked like two fingers were splinted. She was desperate to understand how his hand was, but now wasn’t the time to ask. “Anders, meet my sister, Em, and her partner, Connor. And over there is my brother, Jake.”
Everyone said their hellos and Anders sat down on the sofa next to her, reaching for her hand. “Well, Connor must be a smart guy. What did he say?”
“Pretty much the same as you . . . that I need to let go of last year. Stop going back to it. Shake it off by talking about it. Deal with the guilt and let go.”
“I guess there’s still more on your mind, though, Liv,” Jake said. There were times when he reminded her so much of their father it hurt. He had the same big heart and creative expression. Watching him at the stills from her office window, he even walked like their father.
“This,” she said. “Me and Anders. Robert Harding and the fight today. We have the relaunch of Dyer’s Vintage in three days. There’s going to be press about the fight, I’m sure.”
Jake shrugged. “So?”
“What does that mean?” Olivia asked.
“So what? A guy you have a restraining order against tried to attack you, and your boyfriend decked him, the same as I would have done.”
“Or me,” Connor added.
“Or me.” Emerson looked around the room. “What, like you think boys are the only ones who can stand up for themselves?”
“Fine,” Connor said, kissing the top of her head. “Next time we’re in a brawl, I’ll let you have a go first and you can tag me in when you need a break.”
Jake laughed. “Yeah. You can be the next Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley. You’ll look great in spandex, Em.”
“Screw you both and the bike you both rode in on,” Em said tartly, but the grin showed she wasn’t mad at all.
“My point,” Jake said, bringing the conversation back around. “Was that, again, this is not your fault. A guy assaults you, we have your back. Your boyfriend defends you, we have his back too. It affects the rebrand of Dyer’s Vintage—”
“Which it won’t,” Connor assured them.
Jake nodded. “Yeah, which it won’t. But in the alternate universe where it might, we still have your back, Liv. You aren’t in this alone. You aren’t to blame. You aren’t the only one who wishes things could have gone differently last year. It’s what we do this year that counts.”
Anders squeezed her hand and it grounded her. The support everyone had for her was overwhelming. “But we’re still only two stars when you put us into a search engine. Our ratings suck.”
“Again, Liv,” Jake said. “It is what it is. It’ll change over time. Is that what those two gold stars stuck on the top of your monitor are about?”
Olivia nodded. “Turning those around is a sign I’ve been successful.”
“You’re wrong, Liv.” Emerson smoothed her hands on her pants. “You’re worrying about the wrong metrics. We can’t control that Harding orchestrated a trashing of our online reputation. That’s just noise and not even accurate. You can only try to fix measures you can control.”
Anders locked eyes with Olivia. “I know a thing or two about trying to control external environments instead of looking inward. You can’t control what people like Harding do. You can only play your own game. And what it sounds like, from three people who really care about you, is that you are really fucking good at your job, Liv. You’ve got to pull up that anchor and move forward. You’ve got to meet me and them in the present.”
Olivia could feel the corset of pressure she wore every day loosen. They were all right. She didn’t hold Emerson responsible for their father’s death because they had argued. And it was clear her family didn’t hold her responsible. And she’d always admired Connor, who had walked away from the large company he felt she’d thrive in, so his words of confidence bolstered her faith in her skills. And Anders loved her. As she had been, as she was now, and as she was going to be. Personal growth meant change.
She rested her head on Anders’s shoulder as the knowledge of that settled in her soul.
14
Four days later, Anders flexed his fingers before he slipped his hand into his gloves. They were a little tender, but everyone on the coaching staff agreed that they needed him on the ice for the game against New Jersey.
Wyatt and Theo, the right and left wing of his line, sat down on either side of him.
“How’s the hand?” Wyatt asked.
“It’ll be fine for the game,” Anders answered, but then remembered his commitment to stay in the present, to settle in instead of being so caught up in keeping to himself. “Sorry. Yeah. It’s still a bit sore. But I have the grip strength I need.”
“That’s good to hear,” Theo said. “We heard what happened. How’s your girlfriend?”
“Liv? She’s okay. The restraining order had been in place for a while, so this wasn’t a new thing for her. He’s out on bail, so we have to be careful.”
Theo nodded. “Good to see the organization stood behind you, though.”
Anders thought about the conversations he’d had with everyone, from the owner to the physical therapists to the legal counsel. They’d all had his back. Their doors were always open to any questions he’d had. They’d been respectful of Olivia. They’d been crystal clear in their support of him. He’d never felt that kind of support in Phoenix. “Yeah, they were. Couldn’t have asked for better.”
“They were the same with me,” Wyatt said. “And I was a complete dick when I came here.”
“You were?” Anders asked, surprised. “The fans think you walk on water.”
Wyatt laughed. “Now, yeah. But I really didn’t want to leave New Jersey. I was born there, they were my team as a kid. I was drafted by them, played for ’em, gave them everything. Lived two blocks from my mom. And then I got traded out of the blue when the team decided to rebuild, and I was too expensive. I caused all kinds of shit. I gotta be honest. The way they handled all that was part of why I settled.”
“Did you move with family?” Anders asked.
Wyatt took a deep breath and sighed. “Nah. Couldn’t convince my ex to move with me. She had her reasons.”
“Man, that sucks. I kind of worry about that with me and Liv, given I’m a free agent at the end of the season.”
Theo looked shocked. “You aren’t staying?”
First rule of major hockey league trades was that you didn’t talk about major league trades. And Anders wasn’t sure why he’d offered that piece of information. It had just slipped out in a moment of empathy for his friend. “Who knows. I’ve got options, that’s no secret, but never say never, right?”
“I’d hate to see you go. We’ve had some things to work through, but it’s finally starting to come together,” Theo said. “Kaija, my girlfriend, is a teacher in Vantaa, my home in Finland. I go there in the off-season. She comes here on school holidays. But I’d give my right nut to play in a city where she lived, but she understands why I have to be here. I’m going to have to buy shares in baby oil given how often I jerk off.”
As the three of them laughed, Anders became acutely aware that this was more information than he’d known about the two men he’d played with sin
ce he’d joined the organization.
“Speaking of jerks. I’ve been one. I’m sorry. It shouldn’t have taken getting my knuckles busted to talk like this.”
Wyatt shoulder checked him. “Water under the bridge. Plus, I need you to play extra hard tonight.”
“Yeah?” Anders said.
“It’s fucking Jersey, and even though it’s been years, I still owe them assholes for trading me.”
Five hours later, a little before midnight, Anders let himself into his house. He wandered into the kitchen and noticed the two glasses and empty bottle of wine by the sink. Good. Olivia had invited Natalie over to keep her company while she watched the game. He knew she’d felt guilty about moving in with Natalie and then spending so much time with Anders.
When he opened the fridge, he saw his usual post-game, pre-bed snack ready for him. He’d eaten his big meal at the center, but he always ate a chicken breast, cold pasta salad, and slices of cucumber afterward to help with water retention. It was all there, chopped and ready for him.
Liv.
He appreciated her thoughtfulness.
As he ate, he thought about the game. His line had played well. Better than well. With Wyatt pumped to crush Jersey, and the conversation they had before the game, they’d seemed a little more . . . in sync. And Karl had operated like a curling broom, smoothing the path for him . . . not standard defensive play. If anything, Karl had played ahead of the offensive line. And if Anders didn’t know better, he could have sworn Karl had been his own personal defensive guard. At first, coach had been pissed, but when Anders’s line scored three times in three skates, the coach let them be.
Anders rinsed the dish and crept upstairs so as not to wake Olivia. When he got to the bedroom, he could see the eerie blue light of a laptop. “What are you still doing awake?” he asked, kicking off his shoes.
“The campaign went live today, and I can’t stop looking at how great all the stats are.”
“Älskling, it’s past midnight. You need some sleep. And we can celebrate the awesomeness you are over breakfast.” He slipped out of his suit and tossed it into the dry cleaning bag. The rest he dumped into the laundry. When he was naked, he walked to her side of the bed, took the laptop out of her hands, shut it, and took it out to the hallway.
Love In Moments: An opposites attract hockey romance (Love Distilled Book 2) Page 20
