by Mj Fields
“Tonic please.”
“Would you like a lime with that?” the bartender asks.
“Do you have a slice of toxins?”
She lets her head fall back and sighs. “Lime please.”
“Of course, miss.”
I watch him watch me, his eyes narrowed, and I cock my head. “Is there a problem?”
“No, and there better not be.”
Autumn chuckles, and I look at her.
“I’m not sure if he was hitting on you or trying to save you from me.”
“You asked him to poison my drink.”
“True.”
She shakes her head. “So, what did you need?”
“Claudia, I like her.”
“Then maybe you should date her,” she says abruptly.
I roll my eyes. “This isn’t about getting dates for me; it’s about the project and spending time with you.”
“Okay, well, for me, it’s about both of us finding someone good for us, someone worthy”—she looks down —“and someone who doesn’t try to poison our drink, so to speak.”
I look up at the bartender, who’s giving me that look again. “We have a past, will have a future, we’re just in an awkward place.”
He looks at her.
“We’re trying to help each other find someone.”
“This is the reason I will remain single.” He shakes his head and walks away.
We look at each other and laugh.
“This is so stupid,” she says with the glass to her lips.
“No, it’s just part of life.” I sit back and nod to her. “I want to find her a good man, Autumn. Her ex died in battle.”
“Did she tell you that?” She sets her glass down and turns toward me.
“No, I did some digging. She’s a good girl. He was her first love, and she deserves something good. Something amazing, actually.”
“So do you.”
“I’m aware of that. Just waiting for you to wrap your brain around the fact that I have no desire to procreate. I have no desire to date, to look for something I already found.”
She narrows her eyes. “You could change your mind about that in five minutes, a year, ten years. You don’t know what tomorrow holds, Eric.”
“No, but I know who I want to be holding tomorrow, in a year, ten years.”
“It’s not—”
“It’s not going away for either of us. It’s not normal, Autumn, but we can do this dating shit because I’m really fucking happy that I get to see you, and I’m really fucking sure you’ll never meet someone you’re as in love with as you are me.”
“Wow, that’s pretty freaking egocentric.”
“No, it’s the truth. And when you get over the fact that I’d pick you over a litter of children, when you realize that not having kids of my own is my choice”—I close my eyes and shake my head—“I’m going to fuck the hell out of every orifice of your body.” I open my eyes and see hers agape, and her tongue is doing that shit again. “You are so fucking sexy.”
“Am I late?” Claudia chirps.
“Just in time.” Autumn smiles, stands and hugs her, and then offers her the chair next to me.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Autumn
Claudia smiles. “He’s cute.”
She’s such a doll. Every time I see her, I want to play dress up with her.
She dresses oddly professional for her age and shows no curves. And I realize her hair is probably hard to manage, but I would love to see it down. Her ebony skin is to die for. She has a perfect complexion. I’d love to have her remove those black-rimmed glasses, to expose her eyes, and maybe even give those long lashes a little swipe of mascara for added flair.
Eric shakes his head. “She needs to level up. These men aren’t worthy enough to open a door for her, let alone buy her a meal. Jesus, ladies aim higher.”
What I need and what I know I want are two totally different things.
“He meets all her requirements—over thirty-five, doesn’t want kids, and has a career.”
“He also has a fucking toupee; that’s a hard no.” But he’s what I need.
“He doesn’t.” I shake my head.
“Fine, date him, just don’t expect to grab a handful of hair when he’s going down. You’ll get the whole do.”
Claudia looks at him. “So, why is it that she needs a man who can take charge, but you insist on professionals for me? Nerds even?”
“Because they will respect you. You’re geeky chic, and they will do whatever you ask of them, because they want to be nerdy cool like you.”
“I’m going to take that as a compliment; otherwise, I’m going to go all Shuri on you.”
“See? My point exactly.” He laughs and holds up his hand for a high-five. She gives him one.
“And this one is yours.” I hold out a picture of a blonde who looks like a supermodel. They’d have beautiful babies.
He doesn’t even look at it. “Whatever you want, Autumn.”
Two days later, we are all at different tables in the same restaurant, waiting for our dates to arrive.
Eric looks amazing. I have to push down the tinge of jealousy I feel, knowing I want him to have the best and I’m not it.
I’m pretending to check emails while trying to ignore the warmth I feel whenever he’s around when I get a text.
Eric: Babe, run. Run as fast as you can. It’s worse than expected.
I look up. “Oh dear.”
“Hey, sweetheart, I hope I didn’t keep you waiting.” His voice booms through the quiet restaurant as he practically runs to the table like he’s at McDonalds.
I start to stand up, and he leans in for a kiss. Dodging it, I end up on my ass and hear Eric laugh.
“Let me help you.” He bends down as I stand, and we knock heads.
“Well, this is starting out all wrong.” He laughs loudly and snorts.
I hold my hand up to stop him while I right myself and stand. When I have my bearings straight, I look up and, sure enough, his hair has shifted.
“I’m sorry, but this is a sign.”
“Oh no.” He belts out another laugh. “Let me make it up to you.”
My phone vibrates on the table, and I pick it up. Eric has sent an entire screen with laughing faces. I suppress a grin.
“Everything okay?”
“No, it’s my husband. He’s wondering why I’m not home.”
“Your husband?”
I shrug. “Just need to spruce things up once in a while, but if he finds out, it would be bad.”
“Of course. We’ll do this another time.”
Gross, I think as I throw a twenty on the table and leave.
Two hours later, Claudia and Eric walk into Bombers, our meeting place, laughing hysterically.
“Laugh it up.” I smile and look at Tony, the bartender.
“Their usuals please.”
As we share a drink, Claudia tells me about Eric’s date, who couldn’t stop smiling.
I force myself to put my claws away.
“He has that effect, I’m sure.”
“Babe, she had Botox today and apologized as her drink spilled down her frozen face.”
Babe...He needs to stop that.
“And my guy believes aliens are landing on top of The Rock.”
We all have a good laugh, and then Claudia is the first to leave again. This time, Eric insists on her taking a cab.
“You worried about her?”
“Yeah, of course. She’s single and living in a pretty shitty area of town.”
“Is my basement apartment nicer than her place?”
He smiles and shakes his head. “I don’t know, babe, but damn.”
I don’t have to ask what damn means. I see admiration in his eyes. It’s warming and not just in the spots where lust lives, but in my heart.
I look down. “Maybe you could find out.”
The next evening, as I’m in the basement apartment, I hear the door open and grab the broom. �
�I have a weapon.”
“I’m aware.” It’s Eric.
“Don’t you know how to knock?” I yank the scrunchy off the top of my head and run my fingers through my hair, trying to fix the mess I know I am right now.
“I have the code.”
I poke my head out from behind the bedroom door.
“It’s me.” He holds his hands up.
“What...?” I pause. “Is everything okay?”
“Her place is bad but rent controlled, and she won’t leave it because the city is where she fell in love. She thinks it’s good luck.”
I walk out. “Well, this place is rent controlled, in a decent neighborhood, and after last night’s date, she needs luck.”
“Pretty sure they lived there together.” He cocks his head and narrows his eyes. “She’s not going to leave, and I’m not going to sleep knowing she’s there.”
“You’re freaking adorable.”
A smile creeps up on his face as mine burns with embarrassment at my word vomiting.
He steps toward me, and I hold up the broom.
“Really?”
“It’s best you don’t.”
“It’s best you just let it happen.” He takes two steps and grabs me, hugging me tightly as he whispers, “Just go with it.”
“I’m not sleeping with you.” I wrap my arms around him and hug him back. God, how it feels so good.
“Tell me what that feels like.”
“Shh...” I whisper.
“This feels right, Autumn of Queens,” he whispers back.
What it feels like is everything I want but am afraid to take.
“Shh...” he whispers.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“But I know what you’re thinking, Autumn, and the worst of it is over. All the good stuff comes next.”
“What’s the worst?”
“The fall.”
I shimmy down his body and step back. “To me, that’s the best.”
He looks between my eyes. “Because you haven’t felt the what’s to come.” He steps forward again, and I don’t move. Then he grabs the back of my neck and pulls my head toward his.
“Have you?”
“I’m in it, Autumn, just waiting for you to catch up.” Then he leaves.
I pace back and forth then finally say fuck it and hurry outside just in time to watch him drive away.
When I look down, I see a bouquet of flowers. I pick them up and smell them. Then I pull the card out and read it.
He should have brought flowers. You deserve flowers.
~ Yours ~ E
After four weeks of dates, each ending with flowers on my doorstep from him, fucking with my resolve, I get a call from Angela, requesting I come back for three months.
“Yep. When do you need me? Tomorrow?”
“You okay?”
I flop back on my couch. “No. I’m in hell. A hell full of lustful thoughts and forbidden fruit. A hell where Satan took the month off and handed the throne over to Eric Cartwright.”
“Yeah?”
After I spill all the tea, we both sigh at the same time.
“I wish you wouldn’t fight it.”
I sit straight up. “What!”
“You are so in love with him, and you can’t even see it.”
“Oh, I can see it. That breakup would make my Baby Ruth days look like a Hershey Kiss.”
“Oh, Autumn, it’s bad, isn’t it?”
“It is. I need a break.”
“One week and your break isn’t puppy sitting. It’s London, Paris, Joshua snuggles, rom-coms, and wine therapy.”
“Yes!” I raise a fist in the air.
Chapter Thirty
Eric
It’s pre-date night number five and leg day. Yep, after the last time I saw her, I needed to make damn sure my body was shot.
Twice a week, I get to see her, and after sending Claudia back to her place in a cab, I walk her home.
I’ve hugged her, kissed her head, and held her hand. I stopped picking her up, knowing that one sentence, “Wrap them around,” and I would’ve been inside the best pussy I’ve ever had the pleasure of being wrapped in. But I’m good with slowing it down.
As worried as she is about me hurting her, I’m fucking terrified of rushing it.
Holding the door open for Claudia, I immediately see Autumn at a table in the corner. It’s covered with food, and there’s a bottle of champagne on it.
Shit.
Claudia hurries toward the table, and I follow, tipping my head to the bartender who still looks at me like I’m a freak, which makes me laugh every damn time.
I help Claudia with her coat and ask, “What are we are celebrating?”
“Well, it’s more a bribe actually.” She glances at me only briefly.
Claudia sits next to Autumn. “Food is always a good place to start.”
Autumn rubs the bridge of her nose and places both palms on the table like she’s about to hold a meeting. I find it a huge turn on.
I remove my wool coat and sit because I’m pretty sure that’s what she’s expecting me to do. It kind of reminds me of when I fucked her on her desk.
“I have to leave for a few months.”
Scratch that. It’s exactly like when I fucked her on her desk.
“Oh no, is everything okay?” Claudia asks, and I’m so glad she did because I want to tell her over my dead body and that’s not a good way to go at her.
“It’s for work.”
“Wow, I’ve never asked where you work. How rude of me.”
I finally speak. “She’s a VP at de la Porte Fashion.”
I wait for Claudia to get that face all women get when they hear the name of the company that puts out the must-haves of every season.
“Huh, never heard of it.” Autumn and I share an aww look.
“It’s high fashion,” I tell her.
She looks down at her clothes. “Not really my thing.”
“Your thing’s working fine.” I wink.
“Geek chic, I know. However, all the statistics about opposites attracting might hold some water. My dates have been nightmares.”
We laugh, and I say, “Well, kind of proves my theory, though.”
She pulls her phone out of her coat pocket and nods. “So, you don’t think you can find love on the internet? Not someone who, as you said, has a heart the size of the sky and room enough for all the stars she holds in it to shine? You wanted to be one of them?”
I laugh uncomfortably. “You are very fucking thorough.”
“Well?” she asks.
I look at her instead of Autumn. “I think when you love someone, you love them, Claudia, and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it but let it happen.”
“But past hurts?” She nods toward Autumn.
“Past hurts be damned. Live in the now.” Now I look at her.
“And how do you step away from the past when it is always there?” she asks softly.
Autumn wraps her arm around Claudia’s shoulders. “You have different hurts. He didn’t hurt you, Claudia; he died. You loved a man who loved you, who was taken away from you too soon.”
“Yeah,” she whispers.
We allow her the moment she deserves.
Autumn looks up at me then back at Claudia and smiles. “I need to ask you a favor.” She looks up at her.
“I have this big house, with a cozy, little two-bedroom basement apartment. It’s been vacant a while, and I considered putting it up for rent but would much rather have someone I know living there.”
She looks at me. “Eric’s lease is up next month. He said he’d be moving into a hotel until the end of the semester.”
“I was thinking maybe you could—”
“Oh no, I am on a strict budget and have the rest of the semester to get through and all of next year. I know my place isn’t much, but—”
“I’m losing money on heat and electricity every day. Cover that and water my house plants w
hile I’m gone.”
“I’m fine, but he’s—”
“I’m good, Claudia. She’s asking you.”
“But—”
“It would mean a lot to me,” Autumn says, and she’s not blowing smoke. She’s taken with Claudia, and once she gets taken, she becomes the best thing that could ever happen to them.
“Can I have a day or two to consider?”
“Of course. You can come by tomorrow—”
“How about tonight?” I ask. “We can get this all to-go and absorb the place.”
“Okay.” Claudia nods then laughs. “Okay.”
I watch Autumn beaming as Claudia walks around the place, gushing about good bones and fantastic furnishings.
“It’s a furnished apartment.” Autumn smiles.
“I’d need to bring my bed. I mean, if I decided to move, I’d need to move my bed.”
“That’s perfectly fine. Whatever you don’t want can easily be moved.”
“Move,” she whispers her worry.
“I have some buddies who could help,” I offer.
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to impose.”
Autumn laughs. “This is doing me a favor.”
“You said two bedrooms? Can I see the other?”
“Um...” Autumn hesitates. “It’s kind of a mess. Could you give me some time to move everything?”
“I don’t mind the mess.” Claudia looks toward the doorway of the room she hasn’t been in.
“Autumn”—I laugh—“she isn’t judging you. Go ahead, Claudia.”
I start to stand up, and Autumn moves to block me.
“Does it house your sexy undies and kinky toys?”
She narrows her eyes. “You stay out.”
“Oh my God, it’s...Wow, there’s so much,” Claudia calls out.
“So much what?”
“I have the ROYGBIV of vibrators in there; you don’t want to see them.”
I laugh. “The fuck I don’t.”
“Where did you get all this stuff?”
“Babe, I will toss your ass like a salad to see that room, so move it, or you’re up and over my shoulder in three, two—”
“It’s Shelby’s things, okay?”
