“I knew someone like that once.” Nathan looked off, as if he were remembering something from his past. “He was Jane’s elder brother.”
His smiled faded as if he’d said something he hadn’t wanted to.
“Jane?” When he didn’t answer, she added, “It’s all right. I was married once. I certainly know what it’s like to be in love…or at least I thought I did.”
“How did he die?”
“Who?” She didn’t know who he was referring to.
“You’re husband.”
“Oh.” She waved her hand. “He didn’t die. We’re divorced.”
He raised an eyebrow. She wondered if he disapproved. Marriages must have lasted longer in his lifetime. She wondered if he had ever heard of a divorced woman. It must have been nice, in a way, to live in a time where love stuck around and didn’t give up on people.
“Art loved someone else.” There she said it. It was the first time, and it hurt to say it aloud. She mentally pictured Tanya’s finger with her engagement and wedding ring on. The worse, most horrible part was that she wasn’t sorry she’d thrown them in the lake. At first, she had been, but now…she didn’t care. She wondered if that made her an evil person. If it would render her to an unknown fate like Nathan’s.
She wondered what Nathan must have done in life to end up drifting on Earth forever.
She turned toward him. He had a boyish quality to his face. There were no age lines around his eyes, no sprinkle of gray hair at all. “How old were you when you died?”
“Twenty-three.”
“You don’t look that young.”
“How old do I look?”
“I don’t know…I suppose death ages a person.”
He silently observed her. He must have thought her comment insensitive. “How old are you?”
“Thirty,” she answered. She looked down at her worn sneakers and off-white socks with the hole in the toe. Her hair was in her face. She was sweaty. She didn’t even want to think about how bad she must smell.
“Why do you not cut your hair like every other woman I see around here?”
“Does that seem old to you?” She felt old. And tired.
“I should be drawn to you in some way.”
His took her off guard.
“I can’t read your thoughts,” he explained. “I’m not tied to you in some way, but I feel as if I should be because you’re the only one who can see me.”
There was a raw desperation in his eyes. Sarah felt it enter her. It slowly coiled into her brain, down the length of her, into her abdomen, and down her legs. She wanted to comfort him, take away some of his confusion. .
With unexpected courage, she touched the side of his face. Her touch was feather light. She felt the stubble of his jaw, ran her thumb slowly toward his mouth. She felt vulnerability and anxiety within him.
Was he afraid of her?
He closed his eyes, drew in a deep breath. “Why are you doing that?”
“I—” She had no answer.
“You have to stop.”
Sarah pulled her hand away. It was as though he’d doused her with ice water. “I’m sorry.”
Nathan was visibly shaken.
“I’m sorry,” she said again.
“Do you remember that woman you asked me about?” She hurriedly changed the subject. “Maggie Webb? I met her.”
Nathan’s face lit up with what she could only assume was shock. “Where? How?”
“She came into my bookstore. A couple times, in fact.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Nathan turned toward her. “What did she say?”
“Nothing, really. I don’t understand why you would even know her.”
“I don’t know her. I don’t know why I even know her name.” He spoke rapidly. “We have to talk to her. Where can we find her?”
Sarah didn’t want to mention Nathan to anyone. What was she supposed to do, tell Maggie Webb that she saw ghosts? That was a great way to get herself locked up in the loony bin.
“I don’t think she can help you.”
“How do you know?”
She didn’t. But what she was going to say to Maggie? She knows a ghost who mysteriously knows her name? She couldn’t do it.
Nathan was staring at her with that look again. Like he was lost and somehow she was the only one who could find him.
She sighed. “All right. The next time she comes into the store—”
“It could be too late by then.”
“That’s the best I can do.”
Nathan ran his hands through his hair. He sighed, as if he were frustrated with her. “I didn’t want to tell this to you, but someone appeared to me last night.”
“Who?”
“Cole Turner. He says he’s a drifter. He says I’m one too.”
Apprehension raised a patch of gooseflesh along her spine. “What’s a drifter?”
“A soul caught between heaven and hell,” he answered, “but I’m not sure I believe him.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
Sarah recalled their trip to Salem…White Creek, as the town was originally named. Nathan had spoke of something trying to prevent him from transporting himself home. She didn’t know why she suddenly remembered that or what connection, if any, it had to do with this…drifter, Cole Turner.
“Did you ask this…person about Maggie Webb?”
Nathan shook his head. “I almost did, but…”
“But what?”
“I don’t know.”
He was scaring her again. Despite that, she wanted to help him. She hadn’t
wanted to help anyone in a very long time. It was something she wasn’t proud of, now that she thought about it. Perhaps the reason why she was lonely was because she’d been so self absorbed lately.
She didn’t want to talk to Maggie Webb. And she sure as hell didn’t want anything to do with this Cole Turner. But she would help Nathan. Not because she needed to get involved in something besides herself but because Nathan needed her.
She hadn’t felt needed in a very long time.
CHAPTER NINE
It took Sarah more than an hour to convince Nathan not to go with her when she visited Maggie Webb.
Now as she entered Maggie's apartment building, she felt her apprehension grow. This whole thing was ridiculous. How was she supposed to waltz into a complete stranger’s home and admit she had a ghost haunting her?
Only she no longer felt that Nathan was haunting her. She didn’t know why her opinion of him had changed, but somehow it had. Her impression of him was softer now. What she had once regarded as arrogance, she saw as vulnerability, and it humanized him. It made her want to learn more about him.
And she wanted to help him.
The elevator in Maggie's building was out of order so she was forced to climb the four flights of stairs. Maggie had seemed nervous when Sarah phoned her this morning. Right now Sarah didn’t feel too calm either.
Maggie answered the door on the first knock. She was wearing jeans and a tank top. Her hair was pulled back in a bun that looked like she’d taken a lot of time to fashion it.
“Hi, Maggie.” When Maggie made no move to let her in, Sarah added, “I was hoping to talk to you in person. May I come in?”
Maggie seemed to consider whether or not to let Sarah in. Sarah wondered why she was so insecure. Maggie had acted the same way at her store, so much so that Sarah would have guessed she’d stolen something. The woman acted as if she were part of the Witness Protection Program.
Finally, Maggie stepped aside so she could enter.
The apartment was tiny, but it contained nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, it was neat as a pin.
Mom would definitely approve of her.
“Please sit down.” Maggie motioned to the sofa. “I could make coffee. I have soda too.”
“I’m fine, thanks.” Sarah’s mouth felt dryer than ever, but she had too much on her mind to concentrate on beverages.
“I don’t know how to begin.” Sarah sat on the sofa.
Maggie sat in the recliner across from her. She ran her hands through her dark hair.
“I don’t know you very well. I mean, you seem like a nice person.”
“You have something.”
“Excuse me?”
Maggie leaned forward. She gripped her knees, her gaze serious. “I know why you’re here.”
“You do?”
“It’s the same reason I came to your bookstore. Not that it’s not a nice store…It’s just, I don’t read.”
Sarah didn’t understand.
“You have an entity.”
Sarah felt as if Maggie had kicked the air from her lungs.
“Is he someone close to you?” Maggie folded on leg underneath her. “By that, I mean, he’s no one associated with you? Related to you? Someone you once knew in life?”
Relief washed over her. Maggie had just made this so much easier on her, yet at the same time, she scared the hell out of her. “His name is Nathan McGraw. He said your name came to him. He doesn’t know how, but—Are you psychic? Is that why he knew of you?”
Maggie closed her eyes for a long while. She rubbed them with closed fists. “This always happens.”
“You—you get this a lot?”
“It’s why I move so much.” Her tone was cynical. “I’ve been here about a year now. I guess I should be thankful they left me alone for that long.”
“But you came to my store. You sought me out.”
“Curiosity killed the cat. I wanted to see who you were.”
“How did you know? I mean, Nathan couldn’t have appeared to you. He didn’t even know who you were.”
“He didn’t have to appear to me. I don’t actually know how I know. I just do.”
The same thing Nathan said. She wondered if Maggie and Nathan were connected or had been in some way. She’d heard of reincarnation and wondered if that had something to do with it. She didn’t even know if she believed in reincarnation. But since Nathan, she realized she didn’t know what she believed in anymore.
Maggie took a book from the end table. There was nothing written on the front. It was hard cover, spiral bound. As Maggie found an empty page, Sarah saw that the pages were worn and dog eared. They were full of handwritten notes, drawings, and paper clippings. One page looked as if it had a lock of hair glued to the corner.
Maggie picked up a pen and began writing.
“What is that book?”
“I write down my encounters.” She didn’t look up or stop writing. “Entities have always come directly to me with their problems.”
“What problems?”
“Usually they’re trapped. They can’t get to the next plane.”
Drifters. Sarah thought of Cole Turner. She couldn’t tell Maggie about him. She wouldn’t talk of him.
“Sometimes they’re connected to things. Or one thing, place, or person. I had one who couldn’t bear to leave his dog behind.”
“And you help them?”
Maggie was silent for a long moment. “I like to think I do.” She shrugged. “Usually I never know. They just go away. Your case is a little different.”
“How so?”
“I don’t know…I was kind of drawn to enter your store. I feel that you’re directly
linked to Nathan. I don’t know why. I usually don’t. That’s why I keep the book. Maybe if I burnt it, it would all stop.”
Maggie closed the book with both hands. Sarah wondered how many ghosts were listed in it. Over a hundred, she estimated from the width.
She watched Maggie slide the book onto a shelf behind her chair. “You don’t like what you do?”
“It’s not what I do, it’s who I am.” Her eyes shined with a confidence she’d never seen in her. Sarah also saw torment there.
Maggie wiped away unshed tears. “It’s ruined every relationship I’ve had. I lost my home. I’ve uprooted my career dozens of times. I—”
“What?”
Maggie help up her hand as if to quiet her. “He’s here.”
Sarah didn’t have to ask who. Nathan suddenly appeared before her. He glanced at Sarah with apologetic eyes.
“I thought I told you not to come.”
“I had to.”
“You’re older than the others.” Maggie grabbed her book again. She eyed him critically. “When did you die, eighteenth century?”
Sarah stared at Maggie. “You can see him?”
The excitement in Nathan’s expression was unmistakable. He stepped toward Maggie so fast that she stood up and backed toward the door.
“Stay back.”
Nathan took a step back.
“Why can you see me? Who are you? Why did I your name come to
me?”
Maggie set her book down on a table and began writing furiously. “You already know my name. I was born in St. Joseph’s Hospital in 1973. I’m an only child. My mother is a registered nurse, as I used to be. My father sells real estate. I’m now a home health aide.”
Nathan seemed confused.
“He doesn’t mean that.” Sarah’s tone took on an edge she hadn’t expected. Her caution turned to anger. Nathan had been through hell and back, and here Maggie was, the only person who may be able help him, was playing games with him. He didn’t need her sarcasm. Just because she was fed up with her gift or curse, whatever it was, it didn’t give her the right to make fun of him.
“I know what he means.” Maggie continued writing. “I don’t know why I see entities. I always could. They scared the crap out of me as a child.”
Sarah didn’t like the way Maggie referred to Nathan as an ‘entity’. The urge to go home was huge. Nathan, however, didn’t appear to be leaving any too soon.
“Where have I been for all these years? Why am I here now?”
“I don’t know.”
Nathan gaped at her. “How can you not know?”
Maggie was growing angry with him. Sarah saw it in his eyes. She wondered if Maggie had so little tolerance for the other ghosts who visited her. She supposed it must be annoying, and frightening, but they didn’t have anyone else to turn to.
Sarah followed Maggie to the sofa. “Can you help him?”
“Help him how? I don’t have the answers.”
“Neither does he.”
Nathan sat on the chair across from Maggie. “I have to know why I’m
here, where I’ve been this whole time.”
Maggie crushed her palms into her forehead. She ran her hands through her hair, ruining the style she’d obviously taken so long to fashion.
“You’re asking too many questions, both of you. That’s the trouble with your kind. You invade my life. You ask all these questions all the time and I don’t know. Can’t you see, I don’t know?”
Maggie looked physically drained. She felt disappointment drown her. She hadn’t realized until now exactly how high she’d put her hopes in Maggie. She’d thought Maggie could settle everything, give them answers to what was happening and why. . Maggie was a seer. She could communicate with the dead. Nothing more. She had no powers, no knowledge. Ghosts came to her out of desperation because they knew somehow, by some grace of a higher power, she could see and communicate with the dead. She was the only human who could see them. They sought her out for help, and she offered nothing. Not even comfort. It almost seemed criminal, a betrayal to them.
Maggie sighed then held her head in her hands. “Could you please leave? Both of you?”
“But we need your help,” Nathan returned.
“I can’t help you.”
“Then why do I know your name?”
“I can’t help you.” She stood. She went to the door and held it open.
Sarah was the first to go. To her surprise, Nathan was right behind her. Against her better judgment, she handed Maggie her business card. “If you ever want to talk.”
Without speaking, Maggie took the card and shut the door.
/> Sarah started down the stairwell. She was surprised to hear Nathan’s footsteps behind her. She’d expected him to fade away somewhere, wherever it was that ghosts went in their spare time.
She struggled for something to say to him which would comfort him, but she had nothing. There was no comfort to give. Nathan was lost. Simple as that. She didn’t know why she could see him. Maybe she was a seer like Maggie.
No. She was not anything like Maggie. Sarah didn’t treat Nathan as if he were mere insignificance who meant nothing. Nathan did mean something. He was a soul and a presence, and he’d lived a life with family and friends who had loved him.
It was dark by the time Sarah reached her car. She hugged her sweater around herself. She hadn’t realized she’d spent so much time with Maggie, and now, strangely she didn’t want to be alone. She had always like the night. It represented a down time to relax, look back upon the day with observance or forget about it altogether. Tonight for the first time in her life, the darkness felt…frightening.
Fear suddenly turned to panic.
CHAPTER TEN
Sarah felt her throat constrict. She had no idea what was happening to her. Two seconds ago she was fine and now…something was happening to her. Her heart beat wildly against her chest cavity. Skin which had just been perspiring in the night air now broke out in chills. She couldn’t stop shaking. She wondered if she was having a heart attack.
And icy chill went up her spine before she realized Nathan was touching her. He was holding both her wrists. She vaguely felt his thumbs stroking the pulse points. “What’s wrong?”
“I have to get out of here.”
“Where do you want to go?”
She couldn’t speak. Or think. This was all too much, ghosts, psychics, talk of this Cole Turner—whatever he was she didn’t want to know. Maybe she was going crazy. She’d had a couple smaller attacks right after her divorce. The therapist had called them panic ‘episodes’. Whatever they were this one was by far worse than any she’d ever experienced.
“Sarah, look at me.”
Maybe she was—
“Sarah!”
Sarah looked into Nathan’s eyes. Nerves heightened, pulled taunt like a finely tuned instrument. Nathan’s irises, which were a color she couldn’t even put a name to, started to move. It wasn’t physically possible that they could. They were swirling. Fast. Faster. Too fast for reason.
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