by E. L. Todd
“I wonder how it happened.”
“I’d give anything to know.” Cayson pulled me against his chest while we thought about Slade and Trinity, wondering what their relationship was like. Was he sweet to her? Was she sweet to him? Would they ever come out of the dark? Would they ever be a real couple? Would Trinity ever confide in me? The fact that she hadn’t hurt. She didn’t trust me?
I joined Trinity in the library like I did every afternoon. But today was different. Today, I knew her darkest secret. Today, I knew her in a different way.
I put my books down then glanced at her.
Like always, she was flipping through a magazine.
I played with the pencil in my hand. “Have a good weekend?”
She acted normal. “It was okay.” She flipped another page then narrowed her eyes on an image. Then she took out her pen and made a note.
“What did you do?”
She didn’t meet my gaze. “Nothing, really. I watched TV, worked on my sketches, and read.”
“You didn’t go out?” I asked tentatively. “Or have anyone over…?”
“Nope.” She folded the corner of a page before she moved on.
I couldn’t believe she was hiding this from me. I told her everything. Every embarrassing and humiliating thing that had ever happened to me was confided to her. I knew she would take my secrets to the grave. Did she not feel the same way? Did I do something wrong? If she asked me to keep a secret, even from Cayson, I would do it. I knew I shouldn’t make the situation about myself, but I was hurt. Did she love Slade? Was their relationship going somewhere? I had to know. She must want to talk to someone about it. “I’m your best friend, right?”
She finally looked up, confusion on her face. “Yeah…why?”
“We just don’t talk that much anymore…”
“Well, we’re talking now.” She closed the magazine. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Um…how’s it going with you?”
“Fine. You?”
“Fine.”
I wasn’t commandeering this conversation correctly. “Anything new going on in your life?”
“No. You?”
“No.”
For the first time, it was awkward. I never felt tense around her. Now I wondered what else she was hiding from me. Did I really know her?
“So…are you seeing anybody?” I tried to play it cool but had a feeling I was doing a horrible job of it.
“No, not really.” She looked me straight in the eye and lied. She lied. There was no internal struggle or pain. It was like the act didn’t mean anything to her. And that hurt.
“Not a single person? Not even casually? Or maybe a fling?”
Her eyes narrowed. “No. I said that already. Skye, is there something up with Cayson?”
“No, we’re fine,” I blurted. “I just feel like you haven’t really talked about your personal life.”
“There’s nothing to say. And I tell you everything, Skye.”
Oh really? “You never said what happened to Scott.”
She shrugged. “Not my type.”
“You had a huge crush on him. I distinctly remember you telling me you wanted to jump his bones.”
She started to get defensive. “It just didn’t work out, okay? His personality wasn’t that great.”
“But you still could have slept with him.”
“I didn’t want to,” she argued. “Why do I feel like I’m getting the third degree right now?”
“I just feel like we’ve drifted apart…like I don’t know you anymore.”
Her shoulders sagged in sadness. “Skye, where is this coming from? Last time I saw you, we were fine. Now you’re acting like we haven’t spoken in years. We just got dinner on Thursday. I know you spend a lot of time with Cayson and that’s totally fine. I’m not upset. Do you feel guilty or something?”
“No,” I said quickly. Why wouldn’t she just tell me?
“Okay…” She picked up her magazine again.
I knew my attitude had only pushed her further away. I internally hated myself for the poor way I treated her. I was just frustrated and hurt. Of all people, I thought I would have been told about Slade. Why was she shutting me out? I concentrated on my textbook again.
Slade joined our table and sat next to Trinity. Like she meant nothing to him, he didn’t look at her. It was like she didn’t exist. Trinity didn’t look at him either. I watched them, judging their interaction. Just yesterday, they kissed each other like passionate lovers. Now they were indifferent toward each other. It was a great performance, good enough to fool everyone, including me.
Slade munched on a burrito and ate quietly. Trinity flipped through her magazine.
“How was your weekend?” I asked Slade.
“Fine.” His elbows were on the table and he ate with no manners.
“What did you do?” I asked.
“Played ball, did some gambling, watched TV, picked up some chick from the bar.” Then he gave me a meaningful look. “Because I’m not gay. And then did a little weed.”
He lied so eloquently and fluidly that I wouldn’t have questioned it if I hadn’t known the truth. Slade was as great a liar as Trinity was. “What was her name?” I asked.
“Who?” Slade asked.
“The girl from the bar.”
“Oh.” He finished chewing. “Cassie.”
“What did she look like?”
“Brunette, big tits.”
“What bar did you go to?” I was going to catch him in a lie somewhere.
“Tilly’s.”
“What night?”
“Saturday.”
“Hmm…Cayson and I were there on Saturday. I don’t remember seeing you.”
Slade hid his discomfort. “Probably because I was having sex in the bathroom.” He played it cool and did a marvelous job at it.
“Cayson and I were in the bathroom too. Don’t remember anyone else having sex in there.”
“We were in the ladies’ restroom,” he said quickly. “And why does this feel like an interrogation?” he snapped.
I sighed in defeat. I was going to get nowhere with these two. They were too good. They’d been sneaking around for who knew how long. They were obviously masters of their craft.
“Skye, you alright?” Trinity asked.
“I’m fine,” I mumbled. I turned my attention back to my textbook.
Cayson took the seat next to me. He gave me a quick kiss and didn’t speak. He wasn’t himself today and I knew exactly why. The fact that Slade was hiding something so paramount from him was a slap in the face.
Cayson stared at Slade and Trinity just as I had done a few minutes ago. “What’s new?”
“This burrito is awesome,” Slade said.
“I designed a new dress,” Trinity said.
Cayson turned back to me, giving me a look I could easily read.
They weren’t going to fess up anytime soon.
65
Trinity
Slade walked inside at five o’clock. “Well, it looks like everyone finally believes I’m not gay.”
“And you didn’t need to have sex with me in front of them to prove it.” I smiled at him from the couch.
“We can still make a video…just for us.” He leaned over the back of the couch and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. Then he sprinkled warm kisses on my neck, nuzzling me and making me melt.
“That sounds like fun.”
He stilled then moved his mouth to my ear. “Seriously?”
“As long as you don’t show anyone.”
“Trinity, where have you been all my life?” He kissed my neck again.
I chuckled. “Right in front of you, actually.”
“I need to have my eyes checked.”
“You do.” He pulled away then walked around the couch. “How was your day?”
“Boring, like always.”
He sat beside me then rested his hand on my thigh. “My day is always boring whe
n you aren’t in it.”
Slade came over every single day and slept over every single night. He was never at his apartment unless it was to grab something or play his guitar. “I can only imagine how dirty your apartment is.”
“Actually, it’s clean. But that’s because I’m never there,” he said with a laugh. “What did you want to do this weekend? We can head to Boston and go to the movies or play some laser tag.”
I forgot to mention I wouldn’t be here. “Actually, I’m going home.”
“What?” He sounded devastated. “Why?”
“I’m meeting that designer, remember?”
“Oh.” His eyes fell in sadness. “I remember you mentioning it.”
“I’ll be back Sunday night.”
He sighed. “You’ll be gone all weekend?” Depression was noticeable in his eyes and voice.
It thrilled me that he needed me so much, that he was attached to me like I was to him, that I was the single person he wanted to spend all his time with. “Yeah, it’ll be over before you know it.”
“But I love spending the weekend with you.” He pressed his face close to mine. “I look forward to it all week.”
“I know…I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too.” His hand rubbed my thigh, making me feel warm.
“You’re welcome to stay here while I’m gone.”
“It does smell like you…and remind me of you.”
“You practically live here anyway,” I teased.
“Only because you make me not want to leave.”
“It’s my cooking,” I said with a laugh.
His eyes narrowed in seriousness. “No, it’s not.” His hand left my thigh then moved into my hair, fisting it. Then he gave me a breathtaking kiss, making my lips burn and my body ache. His mouth did tantalizing things to me, making me yearn for his touch.
His kiss was slow and gentle, like it usually was. When this arrangement began, his kiss was crushing and aggressive. He devoured me like he was starving. But now he took his time, knowing I would always be there to cherish. There was no rush to reach home plate because visiting each base was so satisfying.
Slade breathed into my mouth while he felt the soft strands of my hair. His other arm scooped me up and held me close. Then he lifted me from the couch and carried me into my bedroom.
When my back hit the sheets, I tried not to cry out in pain. I needed him so much, then and there. He moved away to undress, but I yanked him back, needing to feel his mouth on mine.
Slade’s hands moved to my dress, and he slowly peeled it away. He was taking his time, but I was anxious for him, wanting to feel him stretch me like he had hundreds of times. But I wanted to feel us connect, to soak him up until I had to leave.
When my dress was off, he gently removed my bra and panties. He normally stole my underwear and kept them in a pile in his underwear drawer. But lately he’d been tossing them aside and forgetting them. When my bra was off, his mouth sucked each nipple, doing it hard enough to make me moan but soft enough to make me want more.
His face moved between my legs and his tongue did things that I loved. We’d been sleeping together for so long that he knew exactly what I liked and what I loathed. But somehow, that repetitiveness never got old. Every time we were together, it was good, never mediocre or horrible. Our chemistry was volatile and explosive. Every touch and caress sent me to the edge.
When his lips found mine again, I quickly fidgeted with his jeans, trying to get them off as quickly as possible. His cock was long and hard, ready for me. When his hand moved between my legs, he knew I was just as ready for him. After I got his shirt off, we were both bare.
My head moved onto the pillow as he separated my legs and moved on top of me. Automatically, I gripped his biceps and stared up at his perfectly handsome face. His eyes burned with dark fire and his lips were slightly open, the excitement evident. His cock found my entrance and moved inside easily.
A loud moan escaped my lips once he was sheathed. I bit my lips then gripped his arms at the same time, treasuring how good he felt.
Slade kept his body suspended over me and he remained still after he was inside me. His lips found mine and he kissed me gently. He sucked my bottom lip before he stopped, then looked into my eyes. He stared at me, looking into my soul that had been hidden for so long. Slade saw me for who I was, saw all of me, every piece of me. The stare was so profound I feared he knew every secret that I kept.
Holding my gaze, he started to move. His breathing came out low and shallow, his thrusts gentle and even. His pace implied he wanted it to last a long time. I was so eager to feel him and now I never wanted to leave.
Slade didn’t seem to be enjoying it like he usually did. All he seemed to care about was looking at me. His eyes bored into mine, speaking to me in a way I couldn’t understand. Our minds were connected in a profound way and I always knew what he was thinking. But this time, I didn’t.
He placed a kiss on my forehead as he kept moving. Then he brought his gaze back to mine.
My heart burned and ached at the same time. No one had ever moved inside me like this before. No one had ever been gentle or warm. All I’d ever known was fast sex that was heavy and sweaty. All I’d ever known was a guy eager to get off. All Slade wanted was to feel to me, to touch me, to be with me.
The revelation hit me hard and fast. This was the first time someone had made love to me, the first time someone looked at me the way he did. Our souls connected in a solid way. Our hearts beat in sync as our bodies moved together. The knowledge was overwhelming. I tried to keep the tears back, but I couldn’t. When I tried to bury my face in his neck, he wouldn’t let me.
“Look at me.” His face was pressed to mine while he continued his even strokes.
I didn’t want him to see me like this, to see the obvious need I had for him. I didn’t want him to know the depth of my feelings, the fondness I held for a man I once hated. It was weak and humiliating. My cards had fallen out of my hands and he could see every single one of them.
“Look at me, baby.”
My eyes had been closed, wanting to stop the tears. His gentle voice carried his command but also his patience. Knowing he would see every thought in my eyes, I opened them.
Slade’s eyes were red and wet, mirroring the same emotion that thudded in my heart. He didn’t seem embarrassed by it or ashamed. He’d been vulnerable and open with me countless times but not like this. He kissed my tears away while he moved inside me, clinging to me like he needed me now and forever. “I feel like it too…”
Slade stowed my bags in the trunk then made sure my car was good on oil and brake fluid. “You should get there in one piece.”
“I didn’t know you knew anything about cars.”
“I know a little bit about everything.” He wiped his hands off then faced me. Judging by the sadness in his eyes, he didn’t want to say goodbye. I was only going to be gone for two days but that seemed like an eternity to both of us. “A storm is coming in so drive safely.”
“I always do.”
His arms moved around my waist. “Can you text me when you get there?”
I would never get used to how much our relationship had changed. Slade said he would never change for me, that he didn’t do the girlfriend thing, but he was being the boyfriend I’d always dreamed of. “Yeah.”
“Thank you.” He kissed my forehead then brought his face back to me. “Have fun. I know how excited you are to meet your idol.”
“And nervous.”
“You’ll be fine, baby. Just be yourself.”
“But you’ve said countless times that I’m annoying.” I had a smirk on my face.
“You are. But I like it when you’re annoying.” He cupped my face and kissed me, making me not want to go even more. Was this how Skye felt every time Cayson wasn’t around? Did her heart hurt like this? I wished I could ask her.
He pulled away and gave me a final look. “I’ll miss you.” He swallowed the lum
p in his throat and his eyes glossed over for a moment. It was like he wanted to say something else, but the words wouldn’t come out.
“I’ll miss you too.”
“I meant what I said about being careful. It’s going to pour.”
“I promise I will be cautious.” That seemed to assuage his fears. “I’ll see you when I get back.”
“Okay.”
He kissed my cheek before he opened the driver’s door. After I was inside, he shut it then stood back, his hands in his pockets.
I backed out of the driveway and headed down the street. He didn’t wave goodbye. Instead, he watched me leave, a sad look on his face. When I rounded the corner and couldn’t see him, the image was still engraved into my mind.
I had the sensation to cry but I wasn’t sure why. Being without him for two days wasn’t worth getting upset over. But for some reason, I was upset. I was almost distraught.
Was that normal?
When I walked in the house, I smelled dinner in the air. It was a pot roast that had simmered for hours. The carrots and potatoes added to the aroma.
“I’m home!”
My dad came out of the kitchen. “My girl is here.” He immediately pulled me into his arms for a bear hug. “You made it okay?”
“Yeah. There wasn’t any traffic.”
“Good.” He pulled away and gave me a warm look. “I’m excited you’re here.”
“Me too.”
Gratitude shone in his eyes. I knew he was grateful I’d given him another chance after the episode with Reid. The relationship I had with my father was special and rare. I cherished it and so did he.
“Where’s my baby?” My mom came to me then hugged me fiercely. “You get more beautiful every time I see you. How do you manage that?”
I shrugged. “I guess it must be my hair.”
She chuckled then pulled away. “I made your favorite for dinner.”
“I know. I can smell it.”
She touched a strand of soft hair and felt it in her fingertips. “It’s so long. I love it.”
“Thanks.” My mom and I looked so similar it was frightening. She was exactly how I imagined I would appear when I aged. She was younger than my father, but she still looked young. She was always carded every time she ordered a drink, and I couldn’t count the number of times someone mistook her for my sister. She had emerald-green eyes that flashed when she was upset or happy. Her blond hair was naturally bright and straight. It took an hour with a curling iron to get any bounce to it. But my mother was beautiful, as I’d been told often, and it wasn’t the end of the world to look like her. My father and I hardly resembled each other, but since he was an enormous beast, that wasn’t a bad thing.
