His Saving Grace

by Lynn Hagen

  “Take your time, Noah. Did you recognize him? Do you know who he was?” Justin was scribbling on his notepad.

  Noah appreciated that Justin was taking this whole hellish mess seriously. He had feared that he would get a bigoted cop and his nightmare would continue.

  “No, I didn’t know who he was,” Noah admitted.

  Mikko took Noah’s hand into his and squeezed it, giving Noah some much-needed support.

  Justin nodded, staring at his note pad. “What happened after he climbed onto the bed?”

  Noah clenched his fists so tight his nails imbedded into the soft flesh of his palms. “He rolled me onto my stomach and pulled my pants down.” Scrubbing his face, Noah felt as if he were being assaulted all over again. Telling the facts to the detective was one big-ass frightening feeling that he wanted nothing to do with. Noah winced when his palms began to ache, half-moons dotting across his flesh.

  “I know this is very difficult for you, but I need you to tell me what happened next. Take a deep breath and exhale slowly,” Justin said in a voice reserved for children and the helpless.

  Noah felt like one of the helpless. He felt like his world would never be safe again.

  “I can’t.” Tears started to trickle down his cheeks. The tears only added to his misery. He didn’t want to be there. He didn’t want to remember. Why couldn’t Mikko understand that? Why had he made Noah come down here? Didn’t Mikko know what this would do to him?

  Justin stood, walking around the table. He knelt next to Noah, not touching, but Noah leaned away out of fear. He was damaged now. He could see that. Would he ever be able to trust another man again?

  “Okay, I’m going to ask a few questions, just answer yes or no. Okay?” Justin took a seat next to Noah, poising his pencil once more.

  Noah nodded.

  Justin cleared his throat, looking down at his pad and then up at Noah, his blue eyes icy. “Did he penetrate you?”

  Noah shook his head. “I was able to fight him off and run from the room.” He used the hem of his shirt to wipe at his face. “But it was still terrifying.”

  Noah fell forward onto his folded arms. This time the tears fell like a waterfall. His shoulders shook as the previous night’s events played over and over in his mind, battering him with the ugly images of that hot, nauseating breath licking at his neck as he struggled to get free.

  “I’m here, Noah. No one can get to you. Breathe.” Mikko’s soothing voice calmed him, washing over him like a welcoming, comfortable blanket of protection.

  Noah took a deep shuddering breath. The kind that made a person’s body shiver. Justin was still perched right next to him, patient, silent.

  “I’m sure it was. When did this happen, Noah?”

  “Last night.”

  Justin scribbled in his notepad and then fired the next set of questions. “Did you suffer any injuries?”

  Noah pulled back his sleeve and showed Justin the bruises around his wrists.

  “Are you still wearing the same clothes from last night?” Justin asked.

  “Yes.” Noah wiped his hand under his nose.

  “I need to get you to the hospital to get checked over.” Justin reached his hand out but dropped it at the last second. Noah wouldn’t have welcomed the comforting touch anyway.

  “Do I really have to go?” Noah asked.

  “The doctor needs to check for semen and any other evidence he may find. The more evidence, the better. We’ll be able to build a case against this guy.”

  The whole situation became too much. Dizziness swamped Noah as he threw his chair back, leaned forward, and vomited.

  Chapter Two

  Justin wanted desperately to soothe Noah. Even his wolf snarled at what Noah had been through and wanted to rip apart the person responsible for Noah’s suffering.

  He knew it was unethical, that Noah had just been traumatized and any contact would be detrimental to his mental state right now. He waited for the retching to cease before handing Noah the bottle of water.

  He went across the hall to the bathroom and wet a few paper towels, feeling helpless as hell. Handing them to Noah, Justin knelt back down next to the guy. He knew he was taking an interest more than he should, letting Noah get under his skin. The guy seemed so fragile, so vulnerable. When Noah had looked up at Justin out in the waiting area, he thought he had died because only an angel would have such deep blue eyes, long black hair, and pixie-like features. He knew right away that he was in trouble. Deep trouble.

  But now that he knew why Noah was there, Justin put his interests on the back burner.

  “Can I get you anything?”

  Noah shook his head as Mikko patted his hand. “I’m fine. My nerves.”

  “Understandable.” Justin stood, his heart tearing at the way Noah was trying to hold it together. He was brave in the midst of what had happened to him. Justin had respect for him. Admired the courage it took for him to not only come down here to report it but report that he, as a man, had been the victim.

  “Do I ride with you?”

  Huh? Oh, the hospital. “Yes, I can take you in the back of my car. Did you drive here?”

  “No, I caught the bus.” Noah stood, seeming a little woozy.

  “Are you going to make it?” Justin held out his hands, hovering in case Noah fainted or lost his balance. Mikko stood on the other side of him, doing the same.

  “Yeah. I just want this over with so I can go home and scrub my skin off.” Noah shivered.

  “Okay, but I need you to describe your attacker to our sketch artist. Think you can do that, Noah?”

  He nodded as he walked around the mess he had made on the floor. “I’m sorry about that.”

  “Don’t be.” Justin gave him a warm smile. “You wouldn’t believe half the stuff that has hit the floor. Yours is the least of it.”

  Mikko grimaced. “I just bet there are a lot of things spread around this room.”

  After a description to Carol, the artist, and then a trip to the hospital, Justin drove Noah home, but not before dropping Mikko off. The guy had argued that Noah needed him, but Noah had insisted he would be fine.

  It was late afternoon, and the clouds were rolling in. A storm was brewing, the skies dark and foreboding. Justin cut the engine and sat there quietly as Noah stared blankly through the front windshield. His eyes fluttered a few times before he looked down at his lap. His fingers began to pick at a worn hole in the knee.

  “Can I ask you something?” Noah voice was soft, a tremor slightly noticeable.

  “Sure.” Justin turned in his seat, giving his full attention to Noah.

  “Can you check my apartment?” Noah didn’t look up, his cheeks coloring a faint pink.

  “It would make me feel better as well. Lead the way.” Justin unbuckled his seat belt, coming around the car and following Noah into the building.

  It was one of the older buildings in the neighborhood but still well kept. The exterior lighting was sufficient for safety and enough for the residents to see anyone coming and going. The inside was clean, the hallways litter free. There was even a large plant next to the row of mailboxes. The place looked taken care of. Justin descended down a set of stairs behind Noah.

  Noah stopped in front of an old worn door. Justin didn’t like the flimsy locks. Anyone could give a good shove and be inside. He would recommend Noah speak to his landlord about replacing them with something sturdier.

  The door swung open, and Noah stepped aside, allowing Justin entrance first, Noah right behind him.

  “Stay right here while I check the place out,” Justin instructed him.

  “Okay.”

  The apartment was small, a standard one bedroom. There was a large room with a couch and a love seat, coffee table, and a television on a stand. There was a small desk in one corner, and a laptop lay closed on it with a compact printer off to the side. Across the room stood a small table with two chairs. The kitchen was smaller than a closet. A standard-issued stove and refr
igerator on one side and a sink and counter on the other.

  Justin walked across the tiny hall to the bedroom, flipping the light switch on before checking the closet and under the bed. He finished his search in the bathroom, checking behind the shower curtain and in the linen closet.

  “Place is clear,” he informed Noah as he made his way back into the living room.

  Noah still stood quietly at the door. Justin’s wolf snarled at how terrified Noah appeared. He wanted to wrap the guy in his arms and protect him from the world. No one should have to suffer through what Noah had, but the guy seemed so small, so vulnerable that his wolf wanted to track the asshole down who had done this and rip his throat out.

  “That’s good.” Noah rubbed his hands up and down his arms.

  Justin noticed Noah’s slight tremble, his gaze darting around the room, never resting too long on one particular fixture.

  “Can-can you stay for a while?” Noah asked. “I just don’t want to be alone right now.”

  “I can do that.” Justin took a seat on the sofa. He watched Noah intensely. The human was jittery, which was to be expected, swallowing continuously, which Justin took as a sign of staving off tears.

  “Thank you for all the help you’ve given me.” Noah took a seat on the other end of the couch, curling his legs up and wrapping his arms around them.

  “Not only is it my job, it’s what I was meant to do. To help those who need it.”

  “Really?” Noah asked.

  “Yeah. I’ve always wanted to be a detective since I was a kid.”

  “Wow. That’s fascinating. Is it hard work? I mean I know it is, but what’s it like?”

  Justin relaxed, seeing Noah relax for the first time since he walked into the station. Taking a closer look, Justin was amazed at Noah’s resemblance to a fantasy creature. There just was no way to describe his features other than elfish, fey, pixie, or imp. His pale skin was creamy white, a contrast to his coal-black hair, which had a natural just-got-out-of-bed look. He owned that look. But the eyes, like a vacuum, sucked all the attention right to them.

  The blue was so deep in color they almost looked unreal.

  “Not like the movies, that’s for damn sure. A lot of paperwork and footwork. But when the bad guy is caught and justice is served, it’s all worth it.”

  Noah nodded, seeming caught up in Justin’s voice. Justin noticed how Noah watched his lips, fixated on them. “Noah?”

  Noah’s gaze swept toward Justin’s face as a crimson blush webbed across his cheeks. Seeing the embarrassed flush, Justin swore he would do whatever it took to catch the guy that harmed Noah. The human seemed genuinely kind-hearted and innocent. Justin’s protective nature reared up, wanting to wrap the thin man in cotton and keep him safe from the world.

  Knowing his feelings were unprofessional and he should have his ass kicked for even thinking that about Noah, he said, “I think I should go.”

  A look of pure panic seized Noah. “Do you have to?”

  “I’ll leave my card.” Justin scribbled on the back of it. “Along with my personal cell phone number. If you need anything, call me.”

  Noah took the card and stared at it for a long moment before looking back up at Justin. “Thank you so much.”

  “Anytime.” Justin pointed to the card clutched in Noah’s hand. “Call me for anything.”

  * * * *

  Noah couldn’t get Justin off his mind. He lay in bed thinking of that strong jaw with the five o’clock shadow that begged to be licked and those amazing green eyes. Justin was so out of Noah’s league that it wasn’t even funny. The detective had even smelled wonderful, woodsy, like the great outdoors.

  Justin was lean and hard-muscled from what Noah had spotted yesterday. The T-shirt had stretched around a broad chest, and nicely tanned skin had emphasized those muscles.

  Noah wasn’t a virgin, but his experiences were just a handful. He was too geeky, a loner that most guys ignored.

  Are you serious? Some jerkwad tried to take advantage of you and all you can think about is the hot detective? Maybe you should have gotten your head examined while you were at the hospital.

  “I wish I knew a jazzy pickup line to hook him,” Noah mumbled as he rolled from under the blankets.

  Making his way into the kitchen, he breathed in the aroma of the fresh-brewed coffee.

  Leaning against the counter, Noah sipped his hot brew wondering if he would ever see Justin again. There was no need for them to have contact. He’d told the detective everything that happened and had given him a description. There was no need for Justin to contact Noah unless there was a break in the case.

  Sighing, Noah sat behind his desk, opening his laptop. He had programs to complete for his clients, but damn if he could get the detective out of his mind.

  “I know that look. You like him.”

  Noah shrieked at the unexpected voice.

  “Dammit, Mikko, you scared the shit out of me,” Noah snapped as he pressed a hand against his heart. “Don’t do that!”

  “You’re just mad that I made you squeal like a girl.” He chuckled.

  Noah growled. “Warn a guy when you’re going to pop in.”

  “So, are you gonna call him?”

  Noah should have known his best friend wouldn’t let the subject go. As far back as Noah could recall, Mikko had always been a pain in the ass. Dominant, bossy, but caring. Noah, on the other hand, was as timid as they came. It was a wonder they’d ever become friends in the first place.

  “I can’t think of a good enough excuse.”

  “You don’t need an excuse, Noah. Just give him a call and take things from there.”

  “You’re not helping here. You know I can’t be brave like you. I wouldn’t be able to say those things.” Noah clicked away as he thought of walking up to Justin and announcing he wanted to bed him. Oh god, what if Justin punched him? Just because the guy had gone out of his way to help Noah didn’t mean he was gay. Did it?

  “I could snoop. Find out if he likes you.” Mikko flopped onto the sofa and stared up at the ceiling.

  “No, leave Justin alone. I can’t handle any of this right now.” Noah wanted to close himself off from the world and hide behind the walls that currently surrounded him. He had no need to leave his apartment since he worked from home. He could call in his grocery needs to the local market and have them delivered, which, he figured, would turn him into a shut-in.

  Was that what he really wanted? His life had never been exciting, but closing himself off from society? The idea didn’t appeal to him.

  “I know what happened to you was fucked up, and I want to kill that asshole, but you can’t let it stop you from living. I couldn’t handle that. So please don’t,” Mikko pleaded. “I know you, Noah. You’ll shut yourself in.”

  Noah hated that his friend could read him like a book. “Dude, it just happened the other night. Why are you pushing for me to call the detective?”

  “Because he can help you,” Mikko said. “Set aside the fact that he’s gorgeous and think about it, Noah. He was kind, understanding, and I’m pretty sure he’d listen to you talk things through. You can’t isolate yourself. You need help, and if you aren’t willing to seek counseling, then at least talk to Justin.”

  “I really hate it when you make sense.” Noah sighed.

  Mikko got up and kissed Noah’s forehead. “You love it when I make sense. If it wasn’t for me, you’d be completely lost.”

  Again, the truth. Could Noah work up the courage to not only call Justin but talk about what happened, to experience it once again? The thought made Noah sick to his stomach.

  “Maybe.” He shrugged. All Noah wanted to do was put the nightmare behind him. He didn’t want to open up, didn’t want to verbally relive it, and he definitely didn’t want to fall for the detective.

  It was his fear making him latch onto Justin. That was all. The guy had been nice to him at a time when Noah had needed it most. End of story. End of conversation.
>
  To ensure Mikko left him alone, Noah went back to his work, throwing himself into it and thrusting out all other thoughts.

  Chapter Three

  Justin had just finished typing his report, and Noah was still heavy on his mind. He wished he had some kind of magic wand that he could whip out to erase the attack from Noah’s memory. His wolf still wanted to track the bastard down and kill him for hurting Noah.

  But Justin’s human side knew he had to bring the perp in. Ever since he was little he’d wanted to become a detective. As badly as he wanted to rip the attacker apart, he wasn’t going to throw his career away for some lowlife scum.

  Even so, Noah called to Justin’s beast. He’d never met anyone with such delicate features, someone who seemed so damn helpless that Justin wanted to raze the city just to find the person who had done this to such an innocent man.

  “Earth to Grace.”

  Justin blinked several times as he was pulled from his deep thoughts. “Sorry. I had a late night.” He cleared his throat and sat forward, scrubbing at his stubbled jaw.

  “I hope she was good.” His partner, Ruben Benton, laughed.

  They had only been partners for a few months, so Justin hadn’t trusted the human with his personal life. It was no one’s business. He wasn’t in the closet per se. He just didn’t advertise that he preferred the company of men. Benton seemed like a nice enough guy, but telling the man who you counted on to watch your back that you were gay was a hit or miss proposition, and the miss part kept Justin’s lips sealed.

  Besides, Justin had always kept his professional and personal lives separate. When he was on the clock, he was Detective Grace, unflappable, a dog with a bone, and he did his best to solve cases.

  When he was off the clock, he was Justin, a regular guy who enjoyed life and his family, someone who could be himself and loved to laugh.

  “Nothing like that.” Justin needed another mud-laced cup of coffee. He’d often snuck over to homicide to refill his cup because they had the best coffee in the station. They weren’t too thrilled when Justin had been busted once stealing a cup, but it was only coffee. Homicide was so damn touchy over their caffeine.