by A. P. Moraez
“Alright, I’m going.”
With a groan, he sat up in place and stretched his arm to grab the phone he’d left on the nightstand at his side of the bed. There was a missed call from Arthur. He’d have to call him back later.
Wicked Wish had been incredibly understanding and supportive of him having to postpone his debut concert with them. After what happened to Morgan… he couldn’t just go to an event overcrowded with people that were dying to meet him and just play and do meet & greets like nothing had happened. That would already have been incredibly hard for him had he still been on medication. Now that those were no longer an option? Yeah… they’d had to postpone it.
But his little reprieve was coming to an end. In less than two weeks now, he’d be there, performing in freaking Bellco Theatre. Just thinking about it got ants crawling down his skin. More than five thousand complete strangers that, according to Arthur himself, had managed to buy out the seats in just a few hours.
Just the thought had Ash shivering in front of the bathroom mirror. And okay, yeah, maybe some of it had to do with the fact that he was still buck naked in the middle of the Colorado winter, but just some of it.
He’d never realized, while stuffing his brain with serotonin, how numb he’d been growing through the last few months. Only now, without it and past the worst part of withdrawal, was he getting reacquainted with all the old symptoms of anxiety.
But it was okay. He wasn’t alone and the people around him loved him and had his back, and it was okay.
And you’re gonna get them all killed.
As soon as the thought crossed his mind, Ash did his best to squash it down. He stopped in the middle of the room, on the way to their closet, and gritted his teeth. Hands fisted and eyes squeezed shut, he breathed and let his mind fill with Logan’s eyes, then the faces of family and friends.
No one was gonna touch them. Ever. Because he was gonna make sure of that.
A few moments passed like that, with him meditating and trying to get a grip on his thoughts.
Once Ash judged himself in control enough, he grabbed a few clothes from the closet and got dressed. He made sure to put on socks, because he just wasn’t in the mood to fight with Logan or Tom right now. Then he threw on one of Logan’s big, warm cashmere sweaters, impregnated with his smell, because today had been a lot and he really needed it.
The expensive fabric caressed his cheek like a cloud probably would. Ash indulged, for a few moments, pulling the collar right against his nose and taking a big whiff. Then he got self-conscious, afraid that Logan would burst through those doors any second and he’d be caught being a total weirdo.
Ash shook his head at his own silliness and strode forward, closing the bedroom door behind him.
The voices and laughter got louder and louder as he quickly took the stairs down to the main floor.
“The princess has awoken!” Jeff bellowed as soon as Ash entered the living room, where he found everyone back at the sectional, probably relaxing after having had lunch. It was a little bit after three in the afternoon. He’d unintentionally slept for hours, a testament to the toll the morning had taken on him.
Everyone laughed at his brother’s little jab. Trav was laughing too, smiling at him from his spot on the floor, where he was belly down, drawing something. And that was the sole reason why Ash didn’t throw Jeff the bird. Instead, he gave his godson a little smile and a wink, then slotted himself between Logan and Cass.
Logan received him with a kiss to the temple and immediately hugged Ash to his side, making Ash’s head rest on his firm chest. He smelled so good. Why did he always have to smell this good? “Feeling better?” Logan rumbled at his ear, voice lower than normal, probably so as not to disturb the movie-watching that was going on. It was some action movie and everyone seemed to be enjoying it. Ash was sure he’d never watched it before. He’d always been more of a fantasy and horror nerd. Things that had too much of a connection to reality had never seemed to catch his attention.
“Why did you let me sleep so much?” he complained against the solid warmth of Logan’s pec. Even to his own ears, the complaint sounded weak.
Logan snorted out a laugh and brushed a kiss on the top of Ash’s head. “Because you needed it.”
Ash frowned and burrowed a little closer. He was about to open his mouth to disagree when Logan squeezed him and said, “Yes, you did.”
Ash gave up with a resigned sigh. He felt more than heard Logan’s quiet laugh.
“You guys ate?”
“Yeah.” Logan responded. “The girls made, like, one hundred pounds of pasta bake. There’s more than enough left for dinner. Want me to make you a plate?”
“Nah,” Ash mumbled as he pressed a kiss to Logan’s cheek, already halfway up from the couch. “I need to stretch my legs a bit.”
Ash didn’t miss the way Grace’s eyes narrowed at him as he crossed in front of her sitting spot on his way to the kitchen. He gritted his teeth, choosing to ignore it.
He got it. He really did.
The woman probably hated his bones right now, and she couldn’t even get away from him without risking a destiny maybe worse than the man’s whose murder she blamed on him.
What a mess.
Ash sighed heavily as he found the pots filled with pasta. Only time would tell if she’d ever find it in her to forgive him.
Ash filled a plate with the stuff and carried it to the microwave. He’d learned what buttons to press to do exactly what he wanted by now. It’d taken him several try and error situations, but he’d finally tamed the extraterrestrial beast.
Once he pressed the final button, the plate started gyrating slowly under the yellow lights, and the movement trapped him for a moment, making his thoughts wander back to the situation they were in.
What a mess.
Ash smiled sadly. Maybe he wouldn’t even have to worry about Grace nor anybody else, soon. Maybe Leo would just get to them, one by one, and all his problems would end with a bullet in the head. Like many others before him that had perished at the hands of the angel of death. Like… like Eric.
A tightness formed in his throat. Ash wasn’t sure he was hungry anymore.
“Hey,” Logan’s warm voice close to his ear made him jump in surprise. “What are you thinking so hard out here alone?”
“Nothing,” he replied, enjoying the sense of safety that always fell over him when Logan caged him with his whole body, like he was doing now, “I was just waiting for my food to be done.”
Logan shifted him around in his arms; he was smiling, sapphires sparkling. “Baby,” he said, “the microwave beeped a couple minutes ago.”
Had it? Ash hadn’t realized at all.
At his lack of response, Logan frowned. “You gotta relax a bit, otherwise you’re gonna burst.”
“I know,” Ash said on a heavy exhale. “It’s just… hard. I can’t stop worrying that something’s about to happen and we’re not even close to being ready.”
Logan brought his hands from Ash’s waist to his shoulders and squeezed them. “There’s nothing to worry about. I already called Duke and Ian and explained everything. They’re gonna be here in a few hours with Duke’s primary team, before the other teams he contracted arrive tomorrow morning. We only have a few more hours without security and then we’ll at least have Ian, Duke, and his guys around.” Logan squeezed his shoulders again, gently, before he brought Ash against his front in a tight hug. “Really, stop worrying so much. We’re gonna get through this.”
He hugged Logan super tight and nodded against his shoulder. They stayed like that for a moment, seeking strength from one another.
It started slowly, with Logan pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the column of Ash’s neck, where his beauty mark was. Logan’s warm hands had been roaming his back, but now he boldly redirected them to Ash’s behind and kneaded him there… hard. Logan groaned; a sound that came from deep in his chest. His thick cock, now hard, was pressing and poking Ash in his stomach. It all made Ash let
out a tiny bit on an involuntary moan.
“You don’t know how crazy you get me when you wear my clothes,” Logan said, mouth still trailing wet kisses down Ash’s throat. “Swear to God, if the house wasn’t full of people, you’d be bended over that island right now.”
“Logan, we shouldn’—”
Ash didn’t get the chance to finish his warning. Not with Logan covering his mouth with his own and tonging him for dear life. His back hit the counter and Logan used the leverage to rub their erections together as he owned Ash’s mouth with fervent hunger. Damn, it had been barely two days since they’d last had sex, but it felt like an eternity.
Sometimes it scared him… how addicted he was to the man currently mauling him against the kitchen island, but he couldn’t deny it, neither could he help it, so he might as well just run with it.
Emboldened, Ash grabbed Logan’s behind with his right hand and the back of Logan’s head with the other, and let himself enjoy the kiss.
A few moments later, Logan leaned back, panting, and gave Ash’s lips a final lick, squeezing his butt cheeks one final time before he took a step back. His sweatpants looked obscene with all that was Logan’s cock bulged and outlined against the soft material.
They were both panting heavily and Ash couldn’t take his eyes off of Logan’s reddened lips. And it was probably him doing just that that incited the growl that rumbled from Logan in that moment.
When, startled, Ash came back to himself and took his eyes off of the outline on Logan’s dick and brought them back to his face, Logan was glaring at him with glinting, smoldering sapphires.
“Fuck,” Logan rumbled, squeezing his eyes shut and readjusting his cock under the gray cotton.
Ash found himself giggling.
“What?” Logan shot at him, still glaring daggers.
Ash pointed at Logan’s groin area with his chin. “You think moving that thing around is gonna make it any less visible? Really?”
What little skin Ash could see under Logan’s beard pinked a bit, then Logan was chuckling too. “Fuck,” he let out in an exhale, frustrated. Ash couldn’t stop laughing.
“Oh, you find this funny?” Logan asked, outraged. He took a quick peek at the kitchen’s entrance. “Anyone could get in here right now and see me tenting my pants, you fucker.”
Laughing even harder, Ash said, “You started it. Serves you right.”
“Oh, it does?” Logan asked, narrowing his eyes as he advanced on Ash with a burst of speed. They were chest to chest again, Logan’s lips a hair’s breadth from his own.
“Yeah,” Ash teased, voice low.
Logan smiled against his lips, then bit Ash’s bottom one, dragging it out between his teeth a little before letting go and kissing him firmly. Then he looked Ash directly in the eyes and husked, “One more day, Ash. One more day of this house being filled to the brim, and then you’re gonna get what’s yours.”
Ash’s heart was beating so fast. Logan pushed all his buttons when he started using his big body and dirty mouth to intimidate him like this.
“I’m counting on it,” was Ash’s reply. He was feeling bold for whatever reason.
Logan’s eyes narrowed once more, but then he shook his head and turned around. He went to the microwave and set the timer, then pressed the big start button on the lower panel.
“Food’s probably cold again.” Logan threw a playful glare over his shoulder. “What with your seducing practices and all.”
Ash laughed and sat in the nearby chair, then repeated, “You started it.”
The little smile that formed on Logan’s lips right before the man spun around from him, heading for the cabinets on the other side of the ample room, didn’t escape him.
In no time Logan was sitting at his side, having deposited, finally, the plateful of delicious-smelling carbs and a glass of Ash’s favorite grape juice on the countertop in front of him.
“Thanks,” he said before grabbing the fork and taking a forkful of pasta into his mouth. Logan’s only response was a content little smile.
“Good?” Logan asked after Ash finished the third bite. He’d just rested a hand on Ash’s thigh and was now rubbing circles there, like he loved to do.
Ash responded with a nod as he quickly stuffed two more forkfuls into his mouth, to Logan’s apparent delight. He barely had time to even appreciate Logan’s laughter and joyful expression before he was choking on his food, shocked at the thought that had just crossed his mind.
Ash coughed and his eyes stung. He quickly grabbed the glass of juice and gulped a bit down. It helped him chug the food down enough that he could talk.
Logan had worry written all over his face. “Went down the wrong tube?” he asked.
Ash shook his head. “No.” He gulped down the remaining juice before he was standing up and crossing the kitchen to the other side of the island, where he’d left his phone.
“What you doing?” Logan was on his feet already. He followed Ash and came to stand at his side.
Ash could barely believe himself. How could he have been so damn irresponsible?”
“Billy,” he explained in a rush as he searched for Billy’s name on his contacts, with shaking hands. “I forgot to check on Billy.”
“I’m sure he’s fine,” Logan tried to calm him. “Didn’t he say he was spending the weekend with his boyfriend or something?”
Ash was already shaking his head. “Nobody is safe. Not where that man is concerned.” He found the number and thumbed it, then brought his gaze to Logan’s. “He’s my friend. He’s in as much danger as anybody else.”
It took a few moments, but Billy finally answered on the fifth or sixth ring. Ash exhaled in relief when the boy’s voice reached his ear.
“Billy!” Ash practically yelled at the speaker. Then he tried to calm down a little, realizing how bad and downright weird his desperation was probably sounding. “How… how are you?”
“I’m… I’m fine, Ash. How can I help you? Did something happen?”
“No!” Ash hadn’t done a very good job of calming himself down yet. Logan had widened his eyes at his hysterics and he’d brought a hand to Ash’s back, where he started rubbing up and down over his sweater. “No, I just wanted to check on you. See how things are going, you know?” Gosh, he sounded so stupid. “Logan told me you were spending the weekend with your boyfriend?”
“Yeah,” Billy replied hesitantly, his voice instantly coated in that dreamy quality it always seemed to acquire whenever someone mentioned his boyfriend — which, by the way, nobody had met yet. Ash couldn’t wait to meet whoever it was that was apparently making that boy so happy. Billy cleared his throat. “Yeah,” he repeated, “he’s in the shower right now. We were just about to go watch a movie at the mall.” He paused. “You sure you’re okay, Ash?”
“Yeah… yeah, of course. I just… could you come to work on Monday a little earlier? Say, half an hour? I really need to talk to you.”
“Sure,” Billy said, voice dropping a little. “Am I in trouble?”
Ash’s eyes widened, voice rising an octave as he said, “No! Of course not! I just have something to discuss with you.” Logan squeezed his shoulder a little tighter while he kept smoothing circles around his back, and it really was helping to keep him centered, thank the Lord.
“Alright, then. I’ll be there earlier on Monday.”
“Great!” Ash said. “Have fun at the mall.”
“Later,” was all Billy said before the line went dead.
Ash was breathing a little heavier than normal, like he’d just exerted himself. “Well,” he breathed out, turning around to face Logan, “that wasn’t awkward at all, uh?”
Logan was grinning. “I told you he was fine.”
Ash nodded, feeling silly now that his worry had been proved unjustified.
“We have to tell him, though,” Ash said. “We can’t just put bodyguards shadowing his every move without him not even knowing the reason for it.”
Logan no
dded. “I agree. But maybe—”
“We have to be honest with him and protect him, Logan. As soon as that man realizes that we’re friends and that I care about him, if he hasn’t already, Billy becomes a target too, like everybody else.”
Logan lifted a hand in the air, as if to placate him. “I know. Believe me, I know. It’s just… he’s just a kid, Ash. Maybe we could give him a lighter version of it all? Something that won’t give him nightmares, maybe? Plus, he doesn’t need to know all the details.” Logan paused, staring into Ash’s eyes, then he finished, “It won’t do you any good, either… having to tell the whole story all over again. Try to keep things as light as possible when you talk to him, uh? What do you think?”
What did he think? He thought that with every passing day he fell stupidly deeper in love with Logan freaking Bishop. That’s what he thought.
a time for the unexpected
WE-WANT-ASH!
We-Want-Ash!
We-Want-Ash!
The enormity of it all hit Ash full-force in that moment, when the chants of the crowd, clamoring for him, hit his eardrums like war hammers.
Of course he’d tried to prepare for today as best as he could. He’d meditated, went to several meetings with Arthur and the guys at Wicked Wish, and, most important of all, he’d leaned on Logan for support. After all, five thousand people was nothing compared to what he’d experienced during the years as a grade A celebrity. Logan had been great through the last few weeks, constantly reassuring him that he got this and he deserved every bit of attention.
Well, now that it was minutes away from becoming a reality, Ash wasn’t thinking about if he deserved it or not, he was more worried about if he could actually handle a crowd that big or not.
Every time the united chant for his name reached his ears in the ample room the Bellco had prepared for him backstage, reverberating through the very walls surrounding him, his heartbeat picked up. The waves of their voices were so strong Ash actually felt them vibrating through him. It was equal measures of excitement and fear.
“Five minutes to go!” Arthur announced, approaching him with the biggest smile that split his stupidly handsome face from one ear to the other. “How you feeling?”
