by A. P. Moraez
Peter pressed a kiss on the side of her head and snaked his arm around her waist.
They all gathered around the couple, Logan right back at Ash’s side, their hands again joined.
“She’s such a little thing,” Jeff commented. “Looks like a marshmallow to me.”
“That’s right,” Tom agreed, voice filled with awe.
“Doc said she’s just passed 1 inch,” Peter informed, grinning at the two pictures that showed just a tiny fetus in black and white and gray.
Trav scrunched up his nose as he looked at his future cousin, “Was I that size too? That small?”
Everyone laughed at the little boy’s innocence. “We all were, once” his mother answered, smoothing a hand through the red mop of her son’s hair.
“Ash,” Billy called from the bar area a few yards behind them, “can you help me bring the stuff over?”
“Sure.” He turned to Logan. “Wanna help?”
“’Course.”
They left the others to muse over the soon-to-be new O’Farrell princess and headed for the Greasy Mile.
Billy had spent the last hour or so in the kitchen as Lauren manned the bar. They had agreed to just have a light dinner of Martha’s Irish Colcannon soup and some fresh bread. Nothing fancy. They didn’t need fancy. They just needed to be together as a family and get a little normalcy back for a while. Plus, Ash really couldn’t afford to eat too heavy or too greasy right before an almost nine-hour flight that was to come.
Logan had hired a private aircraft just for them, which was a concept Ash was still trying to wrap his head around. Like, he’d just been informed by Arthur that he’d be getting a bank transfer of a little more than one hundred thousand dollars from his debut concert a couple days ago. That was already a lot to even process. He’d worked his whole life and hadn’t been able to save that amount of money, and now he’d gone and made it in just under an hour this week. And then Logan went and spent almost that same amount of money hiring a private aircraft for them to travel for freaking Europe. Sometimes it scared him, how much money and power Logan had on his grasp. But he tried not to think that much about it, otherwise the freaking out session was practically a guarantee. He didn’t care about that. It was just money. The only thing that he wanted was Logan himself. But yeah, having hundreds of millions of dollars in your boyfriend’s bank account was nerve-wrecking, to say the least.
“You’re quiet,” Logan noted, as they crossed the Greasy Mile. “Something in your head?”
“Nah,” he lied, “just thinking about our trip.”
“You’re gonna love it.” Logan brought their joined hands to his mouth and pressed a kiss to Ash’s knuckles. “I promise.” He paused, then that trademark lopsided smile graced his lips. “Nick can’t wait to see you again.”
“He remembers me?”
“Of course he does.”
“But we met only that one time on the street.”
“Yeah but…” the apples of Logan’s cheeks pinked.
“But what?”
Logan shrugged, eyes ahead. They were just a couple yards from the kitchen door. “I guess I just couldn’t shut up about you in all the years we worked together. He kinda feels like he already knows you; like he’s about to catch up with a friend.”
Ash could only smile at this man and squeeze his hand, to let him know there was no reason to be embarrassed. Sometimes it was easy to forget it… to forget that while he’d been lost in a world of drugs and sex and violence and hating Logan, Logan had never stopped loving him. That he’d never stopped hoping that one day they’d be together again, while Ash had hoped he would never have to see him ever in his life.
“Whoa!” Billy cried. They’d reached the door and Ash had shoved it open right when the boy’d been about to open it himself from the other side. They’d almost crashed onto him and the massive pot full of soup he was carrying.
“Sorry,” Logan chuckled. “How can we help?”
“You guys can bring the dishes and the bread. I’ll just drop this and come back for the cups and drinks.”
They nodded and let him leave before they entered the white room. Ash breathed in the scents of fresh bread and spices that permeated the whole room, filling him with nostalgia.
He’d tried to keep his schedule at first, coming to work every day as he’d been doing for forever, but as things with Wicked Wish and the production of his first album started picking up, he found himself having increasingly less time for O’Farrell’s, and it stung. And yeah, he was probably a pussy for complaining about finally getting to do what he’d dreamed of doing practically since he started playing the guitar, but, damn… this was his home. How many nights had he stood right here in the middle of this kitchen, toiling away with bread and sandwich fillings, or stirring pot after pot of soup? How many nights he’d stayed late making sure every inch of the white tiles was clean to the point of glistening, right after getting outside to one more night on the little stage Tom and Jeff had helped him build for his performances?
And as much as he wanted to keep working here, it just wasn’t realistic anymore. Lauren would be taking over the whole shift from today forward and all his professional relationship with O’Farrell’s would be over with. It kinda stung.
“I’m gonna miss this place,” he found himself confessing, even though he didn’t mean to.
“Uhm?” Logan asked, turning in his direction, arms filled with dishes and cups and silverware for their family. He looked adorable when he was all domestic like this. No sign of the powerful superstar when his hair was rumpled and he was busy doing something so… mundane.
“This kitchen…” Ash sighed, “It’s been such a safe place for me.” He started following along the big wooden table slowly, letting his fingertips slide along the little fractures on the wood, remembering every time he’d hidden here when life out there proved itself just a little too much. He’d been a different man then. Broken, afraid of his own shadow, resentful, unbalanced. Now he was still afraid, but the shadows weren’t in his head anymore. He shivered as he reached the still steaming breads Billy had carefully set to cool at the corner of the table. “I’m gonna miss not getting to come here every day and just cook a little. It’s therapeutic to me.”
“We can do it at home. I like cooking too.”
Ash grabbed the two big, golden loaves before he spun around to face Logan with a tentative smile. “Yeah.” Logan smiled at him again, then started toward the door. It was true. This was his life now… going to venues and playing for thousands of people, worrying about his freedom while he flew to Italy in the middle of January. He just had never been too good with change.
When they got back to the stage area, everyone was sitting around, talking. Logan, Billy and Ash quickly set the table and sat down one next to the other.
“When do you guys need to actually leave?” Martha asked as soon as she took her place beside Tom. “I’m always forgetting.”
“We should get going in an hour or so if we hope to get there tomorrow morning.”
They still had to take the jet to Denver and, from there, get to the aircraft Logan had rented. It wouldn’t demand so much time hadn’t they been in the situation they were, but Duke was taking his full primary team with them for security, so the hassle only got bigger and bigger, having to account with all their equipment and plans for getting Logan and him to Italy safely.
Once they were there, there were even more plans in motion for who would be accompanying them to the events, to the hotel. Seriously, when had this become his life?
“Oh,” Martha said, voice tinged with sadness. “Alright, then.
“Gather ‘round people!” she cried, “Dinner is ready and the boys need to leave soon!”
Soon, the room filled with the sound of cutlery crashing against plates and the sound of chattering and laughter. Ash allowed himself to breathe, grateful for the reprieve of the crazy horror-show his life had become lately; grateful for having a moment to just be w
ith his family and enjoy some food in peace. Billy rushed back from the kitchen a minute later, bringing with him sodas, beers and a jar of Ash’s favorite grape juice.
Then he slotted down at Logan’s side, between them and Cass, who was next to Peter. Jeff and his family plus Tom and Martha were all sitting opposite them.
“What about Lauren?” Soph directed at Billy.
“Coming soon. She was a little tangled up with the stragglers at the bar.”
They started eating then. As always, Martha had outdone herself. True, it was Billy that had cooked most of it, since he was trying to learn more and more about cooking in general so that he could help with that now that Ash was officially out of the O’Farrell’s staff, but even though he hadn’t been here, he had no doubt that Martha had been there at Billy’s side every step of the way. She was severe when it came to reproducing her recipes, no mistake-making.
At some point, Jeff said something to Trav that made the usually calm boy jump in his seat, eyes bulged, and scream, “For real?”
“Yeah!”
Trav cried out his joy and high-fived his dad.
Logan was laughing next to Ash, and Ash was smiling himself. It warmed his heart, seeing his godson so happy.
“Dad’s gonna take me to the circus this weekend!”
Jeff turned to them with a huge grin and explained, “That old one that comes around every few years is coming down to Hardcliff. First night on Sunday.”
“Oh, yeah, I saw that,” Billy interjected. “They set camp in that huge lot by the mall. It’s really close to my house. I was thinking of checking it out at some point this week. My parents never took me to the circus when I was a kid.”
“Oh, that’s dope!” Peter butted in, munching on a piece of bread. “I remember when my old man used to take me to that circus. My fave part was the food.” His face scrunched up after a second and he shivered. “Clowns suck, though.”
“What’s wrong with clowns?” Trav asked, beyond confused.
“Dunno,” Peter said with a shrug. “They just freak me out.”
Trav burst out laughing, because apparently a bearded grown-up like his uncle Pete being scared of some clowns was hilarious. And it really was, if you thought about it.
“Trav likes clowns. Right, honey?” Soph said, squeezing her little boy’s hand.
His godson nodded enthusiastically. “And the animals. I love the animals.”
“Yeah?” Logan asked. “What’s your favorite circus animal?”
“All of them!”
The whole table laughed at the kid’s joy. That was one more thing they had in common, Ash and the little boy. He’d always loved animals; way more than people, to be honest.
Ash was finishing his last bit of soup when the familiar warmth of Logan’s hand squeezed his thigh lightly, then stayed there. When he glanced at Logan, the man was staring at him with molten sapphires.
“What?”
“Nothing. I just like seeing you like this. Happy.”
Ash rolled his eyes, not able to contain a smile. Logan sometimes got sappy like this, and it was the most adorable thing.
“How long we still have?”
Logan took a second to check his phone.
“We’re good for another half-hour or so.”
“Hey,” Lauren greeted, coming from the bar area behind them. Her face was flushed, but, as always, she had that killer smile on, golden hair contrasting beautifully with the red sweater she’d decided to wear to work today. “You guys saved some for me?”
“’Course, girly,” Tom welcomed her with a smile. “Sit your ass down and eat.”
She lifted an unimpressed eyebrow at him, fighting against a smile, and did just that.
The conversations had lulled down to little groups which were talking about different things. Ash caught movement from the corner of his eye. It was Billy already silently rising from his seat and starting to collect the dirty dishes.
“You don’t need to do that today, dear,” Martha said, “I’ll take care of it later.”
Billy graced her with one of his shy smiles. “You taught me how to make the recipe. It’s only fair that I do the dishes.”
“I’ll help,” Ash offered, already rising from his seat. Logan had his eyes locked on his phone. On his feet, it was easy to see the screen, since Logan was still sitting. He was talking to Duke on WhatsApp.
“Everything alright?”
“Yeah,” Logan assured him. “He’s just telling me that they finished loading all their shit into the jet; our stuff too. Nothing to worry about so far. He’ll be here with Ian and the others to collect us in half-an-hour, he says.”
“Alright, then.” Ash leaned down and gave him a peck on the temple. “I’ll just help Billy with the cleaning up. Be right back.”
When he turned around, Billy was eying him with that shit-eating grin that he always got when he saw Logan and Ash interacting.
“What?”
“Nothing,” Billy responded, twisting around in the direction of the doors that led to the Greasy Mile. “Absolutely nothing.”
Ash caught up to him and slapped his ass with the tablecloth he’d just finished folding up.
“Ouch!” Billy cried. “What the hell was that for?”
“So you stop being a smartass.”
“I wasn’t being a smartass. I just like you two. How you are with each other.”
“And how is that?”
Billy shrugged. “It’s just obvious how much you mean to one another. It makes me happy, is all.”
Ash gave him a quick one-armed hug. “I was just kidding.”
Billy smiled at him as they got to the kitchen.
“Speaking of…” Ash started with an inquisitive tone, as he put the tablecloth back on its cabinet, “How are you doing? With your boyfriend, I mean. I can’t believe you haven’t introduced him to us yet.”
Billy, all of a sudden glowing, shrugged. “He’s shy. Real busy too. One of these days I’ll manage to get him around here.”
Ash nodded. “Don’t you have any picture of him? I’m curious.”
Billy’s expression fell. “I don’t. He really is shy. Hates cameras. Every time I try to take a picture of us, he… he distracts me with… stuff.”
“Stuff?” Ash chuckled. “Billy, Billy… when you think you know someone.”
“Shut up.”
They did the dishes for a few minutes in companionable silence, Ash drying and putting it away while Billy washed.
“Hey, I was meaning to ask you… you have any news about what… what happened to Morgan?”
Ash tensed immediately just remembering that Miller had probably gotten to Tompas by now. His fate was in his hands now; his and Matthew’s.
“Yeah, actually,” Ash replied, trying to work around his drying mouth. “Miller came around this morning. He’s traveling away to Tompas. Said he probably found a lead there. He’ll be in contact about what he finds.”
Billy nodded, expression a mixture of hopefulness and sadness. “That’s great news,” he said, voice low. “Really great. I hope they catch the bastard. Nobody deserved what they did to poor Morgan. He was a good man.”
A pang of longing hit him right then as flashes of Morgan’s smile and his eccentric outfits and their thousands of conversations through the years all hit him at once. He clenched his fists real tight, so he wouldn’t cry. Leo would pay for that, that was a promise. He only had to find him first.
“Yeah, he was.”
They finished up in more or less ten minutes. Billy rushed to the bathroom to pee, leaving Ash alone to lock the kitchen. Before leaving, he took a good look around. It’d be at least a week until he got to see his family and friends again. As he locked the door and pocketed the key to give it back to Tom, the reality of the situation crashed down on him. Fuck. He’d never even been on a plane, and now, in just under two hours, he’d be flying to freaking Italy. With his boyfriend. Who had to take part in an international fashion event fo
r the elite. The whole thing felt surreal, to say the least. Just shy of four months ago he thought he was just a cook who played guitar and that was what he was gonna die being, and now all this just… happened.
Ash shook his head to himself, trying to get the anxiety under control. The withdrawal period was thankfully over, but that didn’t mean things had gotten easier. If anything, now that he didn’t get to take meds anymore, it was up to him to try and get a hold of his system. Sometimes, like now, thoughts like those which got him anxious crept in on him when he was least expecting and got his heart beating faster. So far, though, he hadn’t had an episode. Maybe it was luck, maybe it was the fact that he had Logan now and, Leo situation aside, things were good. Ash didn’t know, he just prayed that the episodes would keep away.
When he got back to the table, Logan was already on his feet.
“You take care of our boy, you hear me? I want him back in one peace.”
“I swear I will,” Logan answered Tom’s demand with determination. “Nothing will happen to him or me. Duke is not holding back for this. We’re bringing two full teams that’ll shadow us 24/7. There’s no way anyone would mess with us with Duke, Ian, and the other guys around. Promise.”
Tom grunted. “Good.” He paused. “So you gotta go already?”
Logan smiled sheepishly. “Yeah. I’m sorry we have to cut this short, but it’s time.” He turned to Martha and Billy with his paralyzing smile. “The food was great, guys, thanks for having us.”
“Our pleasure, dear,” Martha cooed as she stepped into Logan’s already open arms and hugged him goodbye. “Take care and keep us updated, you hear me? I want to know where you guys are and when you get there. And you must call me every night before bed, otherwise I won’t be able to sleep. Call me paranoid, but you guys know what…” She took a look at the bar area, probably checking if anyone was paying attention to them. “You guys know what we’re dealing with.”
Ash stepped forward and hugged her once Logan let her go. “We’ll call. I promise.”
